The First Look

By Diane Gray
It’s true, a picture is worth a thousand words. As an amateur photographer, I am always hoping to capture that one picture that truly tells a story, a story of a lifetime, a story of love, a story of inner strength, and a true showstopper. That’s exactly what I found when going through my camera roll on my cell phone after my stepdaughter Allie’s wedding. It was a picture of the bridal first look between my husband Mike and Allie. It reminded me of how far we have come this last year wondering if this moment would ever happen.

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It’s been almost a year since my husband Mike had been diagnosed with lung cancer.
Just the word “cancer” sent chills down our spines as Mike and I listened to his doctor say those very words. Mike is close to retirement and having a diagnosis of cancer is not what he wanted to hear. This wasn’t in our plans. But here we are. As the doctor was talking, thousands of questions were going through our minds. I could see that the doctor was talking but I could not hear what he was saying because the voice in my head was screaming. For each question that was answered, there seemed to be even more questions we would have. This has to be a bad dream. Someone, please wake me up!

Our lives were about to change. I would drive Mike to the treatment center every day. Several hours later I would be in the parking lot waiting for him. Some days were more difficult than others as I would see my husband come out the door barely having the energy to get into the car. It broke my heart. Our weeks were filled with medications, radiation and chemo treatments, and doctor visits.

Mike did amazingly well during his treatments despite being tired. I was so proud of him for putting up with endless needles, medications, and the emotional roller coaster ride he was on. Mike is my hero. As his treatments were coming to an end, we wondered what would happen next.

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There was about a six-week period after radiation and chemo treatments before there would be another scan. The purpose of this scan was to see if the tumors had shrunk, grown, or disappeared. We prayed the tumors would be gone. The scan was taken and we were sitting in the oncologist’s office anxiously awaiting to hear the results. By the grace of God, the tumors had shrunk significantly. Praise Jesus. We were heading in the right direction.

On the other hand, another situation in Mike’s lungs was emerging as a result of his treatments. Pulmonary fibrosis, which is a scarring in the lungs, is a terminal disease and causes difficulty in breathing. Even though we were celebrating the fact that the cancer tumors had significantly shrunk, we were now faced with yet another terminal disease. We are now about six months into this nightmare. One thing for certain, our Prayer Warriors are the best and continue to be the best even to this day. Little did we know that they were spread out all over this country and were praying extremely hard for Mike’s recovery.

While all this was going on, Mike’s daughter Allie, was planning her dream wedding with her fiancé Jason. The wedding was planned for August. The venue was chosen, the dream dress was found, bridal showers were planned and invitations were sent out.

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Mike began seeing a pulmonologist. His drug treatments seemed to help but his emotional state was getting darker and darker. Several months before the wedding he said he would not get fitted for a suit for his daughter’s wedding. He thought it would be a waste of money since he felt he wouldn’t be around for the wedding. I made it very clear he had to fight:
He had to walk his daughter down the aisle; he had a father/daughter dance. It was very important he be at this wedding for his daughter’s sake. It would be the biggest day of her life! He had to fight. He had to be strong. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to Mike before this wedding. Not on my watch!

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Several weeks before Mike’s birthday, I had been trying to come up with the perfect gift. What do you give someone who has two terminal illnesses? Whatever it was, I knew it had to be memorable. It may be his last birthday we celebrate. I had the perfect idea, but I needed help to pull my plan together. I told my friend Elizabeth about my idea, and she jumped right in and helped me plan the perfect party. We were going to have a surprise birthday parade for Mike. We got his co-workers, high school friends, family, musician friends, you name it. They all wanted to be in the parade for Mike’s birthday. We even had our local fire department bring Mike’s son who had come from Nashville, TN as a special surprise. Mike hadn’t seen his son in over two years because of Covid. Needless to say, Mike was totally shocked and surprised. Tears of joy were flowing that day.

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It was time for yet another scan. The oncologist ordered the test and a few days later we were back in his office awaiting the results. The oncologist kept looking at the scan on his computer. He looked up and said there was no sign of cancer. The cancer was gone. God has answered our prayers. When we got in the car, we looked at each other and just laughed. I told him he needed to call Allie and tell her. It would be the best wedding present ever! A few weeks later we were getting Mike his new suit for the wedding.

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The big day was finally here. Allie and Jacob were going to get married. We arrived at the venue and Allie was in the bridal salon. She had already gotten her hair, makeup, and bridal gown on. She looked so beautiful. I told Mike he had to stay out of the bridal salon until one of the photographers came and got him. Finally, one of the photographers came over to Mike, asked him to close his eyes, and gently led him into the bridal salon. Allie was all smiles watching her dad being led into the room. She was standing in front of a huge window that filled the room with sunshine. In the corner was an antique full-length mirror. From where I was standing, I had the perfect opportunity to get that one photo I had been waiting for. Finally, Mike was standing with his back to Allie, he turned around and there was his daughter ready to marry the man of her dreams with her dad ready to take her down the aisle. There wasn’t a dry eye in that bridal salon.  Mike never thought he would be alive to walk his daughter down the aisle. But there we all were. Sunlight wasn’t the only thing streaming through that window that day.  God’s light and love were streaming through, too.

About the author:
Diane Gray is the author of Faith, Hope and Perseverance. It’s her debut book about her 50-year journey to finding her biological family. After an intense search to find her family, Diane decided to write her story in hopes to inspire other
adoptees in their search for their biological family. Diane is a writer, keynote speaker, serves on the Board of the Coastal Pregnancy Center in Washington, NC, an Ambassador for The Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, an adoption advocate, and a member of the North Carolina Writers Network. Diane has been a guest on numerous television and radio shows to talk about a subject she is very passionate about…adoption. She has two sons and three grandchildren. Diane and her husband Mark live down on the river in Blounts Creek, North Carolina.