I don’t usually get too personal about my husband, but last night at work God spoke to me about sharing my love for him with all of you. About how God is the centerpiece of my marriage. And how God redeemed the love we had for one another and used it for His glory.
It’s not necessary to go into detail. Every marriage has its own concern. We are human beings that God created so differently, especially when it comes to men and women. For years while living in this world, I just couldn’t see that. In fact, in the world, I just couldn’t see anything at all. Living as a sinner you are totally blind to the holy state of matrimony. You give in to the world’s view of marriage and what it should look like. You must, of course, have several “girls’ nights” a month, have the right to get your nails done, and of course listen to music you should have shut off about twenty years ago. The world’s view of marriage lets you and your girlfriends sit around and bash your husbands for all the things they don’t do right, and of course entitles you to a spa day because “you deserve it.”
Now don’t get me wrong, time with friends and time to pamper yourself are perfectly fine. God encourages us to encourage each other and treat our bodies as temples, but not at the expense of our marriages. And not because we “deserve it.” In truth, we don’t “deserve ” anything because we are a bunch of people walking around with wicked hearts ~ that’s called being human. But for God… sorry, I digress.
So when the world’s way of doing things didn’t work out too well for me, and I saw almost all of my friends get divorced, I became the target for fodder. I was a bad friend because I couldn’t go out for girls’ nights and friends’ birthdays, and don’t forget I was a bad friend because I put my family first. And, oh yeah, I was also holding down a full-time job, too, which didn’t allow much time for anything. Wow, what an awful friend I am!
So, I chose my family over my friends, and then I chose Christ. Then I had hardly any friends left at all, but I had my husband, my best friend. The one who has stood by my side despite what I have said or done. The one who fought for me. The one who never let me run away from him ~ as hard and as many times as I tried.
When God called me into recovery to get help for my sexual abuse, my husband was there. When I was in group and discovered who I was and why I had acted the way I did all those years, my heart ached. For so many years I had tried to run away from everyone in my life, including my husband. I really just wanted to run away from myself. I felt like nobody understood me. The truth is they didn’t because nobody knew about the pain I had harbored in my heart for so many years.
I thought back to all the times I hurt my husband, was mean to him, ran away, blamed him for things that were not his fault. I cried for the time I had wasted not letting him in. I cried for the little girl who was broken inside. Little by little my husband saw how I was changing. How God was transforming me, healing me through my group at Trees of Hope. I was becoming a different person. I was becoming the person God intended for me to be.
Still he had to endure sleepless nights, angry moments, depression, anxiety and flashbacks with me. He never winced, not even once. He stood with me, like he always has ~ because he said for better or for worse, and meant it.
Every morning since we have been together, he brings me a cup of coffee and places it on my nightstand. He doesn’t say a word, just leaves it right there. Even if we fight or get in an argument (which is rare since we’ve found Christ), the coffee is still there ~ after all these years. It lets me know the depths of his love for me. It lets me know he cares ~ even about the simplest of things that make me happy.
There is nothing like a Christ~centered, God~honoring marriage! My love for my husband has grown exponentially and I live to serve God and my family. I find joy in making my husband happy and taking care of his needs. That’s how God designed marriage ~ being subordinate to each others’ needs. Husbands loving wives like Christ loves his church and my husband loves me like Christ loves his bride!
So if you’re reading this, honey, (and I know that you are ) I love you. Still would do anything for you. Still will put you first after God. Before any friend. Because you are my beloved, and my beloved is mine. Love you!
About the author:
Melissa Zelniker-Presser, her husband Shlomi, and her children Avery, Collin and Meadow are Jewish believers in Christ. Melissa has been an attorney in the criminal justice system for many years. After a season of restoration, the Lord has led Melissa back to following her God~sized dream of becoming a writer for God’s glory. The Holy Spirit moves her to write about her own life experiences both before and after Christ to show His love, grace, mercy and redemption. You can follow Melissa on her blog www.
Coffee Mug photo copyright 2014 Melissa Zelniker-Presser