With the bang of the gavel, my life was changed forever. After 7 ½ years of marriage, my dreams of a house in the country and white picket fences lay shattered at my feet. My heart ached. I felt anger, hurt, sadness, desperation, and fear all at the same time. I was an emotional wreck and as I looked at my sleeping children, I was terrified at the thought of having to provide for them on my own.
The first few years were the hardest, as I watched my ex-husband with his new girlfriend. I was bitter and lonely. I was a good person, so why was I the only one in the world without someone to share life with? I had been betrayed, so why was I the one having to struggle alone? It seemed so unfair. I tried to keep it together for the kids, but inside I was falling apart.
Until one weekend 5 years later, I attended a single parent’s weekend and was introduced to the one verse that became my lifeline, Isaiah 54:5:
“For your Maker is your husband ~ the Lord Almighty is his name ~ the Holy one of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.”
This one verse changed my life. No longer did I long for a man to share my life with; I became content to share my life with God. As I grew in my relationship with God, He became enough. As I watched other women jump from one bad relationship into another, I became more and more convinced that I had found the one man that I knew would never leave me nor forsake me. (Joshua 1:5) His name is Jesus.
It was 14 years ago that my life changed with the bang of that gavel. They have been hard years. I have struggled financially. I still never know when my car will break down. I have had to learn how to balance work with raising 5 kids. Yet I look back with a grateful heart. I still live in poverty, but God has provided for me and the kids in ways that I never could have imagined. We have always had a roof over our head, food on the table, and a vehicle to get us where we need to go. God has given me a heart for encouraging others through the written word. He has been my rock in the absence of a church home. I can honestly say that my relationship with God has become everything to me and I no longer feel alone or lonely.
As I have learned to trust in my heavenly husband to provide, my faith in Him has grown. As I have allowed Jesus to fill that void, I have found peace and contentment. I still live paycheck to paycheck and I still struggle, but my heart is full because of a man who will never betray me, who will never hurt me, and who will love me unconditionally for the rest of my life. This man loved me so much that he gave his life for me. His name is Jesus. As others struggle to find happiness in unfullfiling relationships, I have found that God is enough.
I am a single mom of 5 great kids. I have been in impossible situations and I have been broken by life. In this life of uncertainty, there is one thing that I am sure of, God is in control. I have a passion for writing and for sharing the love of Jesus with women who are feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders. My heart’s desire is for all people to know how much God loves them. Visit me at www.pattiburris.com.
Photo by Patti Burris, copyright 2014