Daughter of the King or Drama Queen?

Have you been sucked in by the drama of “Housewives”?  Either in the semi-reality display on our cable TV or in the comfort of our own neighborhoods, sometimes even in our church families, it plays out.  We would like to pretend that we have risen above our seventh grade antics of gossiping, ugly stares, cold shoulders, cliques and the rest…  Yet, have we really, or have we just graduated into more expensive shoes and bigger bras?  If we don’t actively participate in the shenanigans, it can be tempting to gawk from the sidelines for a giggle or a snicker.

Chicks are tough, there is no doubt about it.  From a very early age, the female mind can size up another person in seconds flat, determining everything from taste and status to confidence and likability.  Of course, the scale or measuring stick is completely subjective and subject to instantaneous adjustment by the assessor.  However, in the female world, subjective is king or should I say, “queen.”

Sadly, all of it… and I mean ALL of it, stems from feelings of insecurity.  Even more tragic, is that it passes from mother to daughter with more ease than most genetic traits.  Daughters quickly pick up on their mother’s responses and reactions and begin to deal with the world and women around them in a very similar way.  Catty responses slide off the tongue with greater ease as the years pass.  What should bring admiration for the complexity and diversity of God’s creation in other women, instead begins to beckon disdain and irritation.  It becomes simpler to dislike someone for what makes them special than to explore the gift God has offered there.  Walls are built, and a few “Besties” or “BFFs” are allowed inside.  Often though, these “close” friends never truly search out the depths of each other’s spirits, because to expose a soft side to anyone could be social suicide.

Sisters, if we don’t take the time to expose and correct these lies in our own hearts and minds and truly learn who we are in Christ, we run the risk of sending our own daughters down a road of dissatisfaction, discontentment, and disappointment.  If we place our confidence and worth in anything other than our Lord and Savior, we are setting ourselves up for nothing but regret.  What an empty offer to our daughters!

If your daughter’s confidence is in her beauty, she will be disappointed because it is fleeting and flawed, even though those flaws may be difficult for you to see. If her confidence is in her intellect, she will be disappointed when she is stumped in its limitations.  If her confidence is in her popularity, she will be disappointed when someone else upstages her since infatuation is fickle.  If her confidence is in her wealth, she will be disappointed when she finds it cannot buy her love, security, friends or faithfulness.  If her confidence  is in her position, she will be disappointed to find there is always someone above her.  If her confidence is in her sexuality and ability to seduce, she will be disappointed when the man she desires is looking for more depth than she can offer; and hurt when she realizes that the men who are drawn to her are not interested in her heart, but only their own selfish gratification.

All the things that the world holds in esteem are only empty promises of satisfaction and happiness.  The thrill WILL be temporary and won’t provide lifelong fulfillment, joy or peace.  In fact, because these worldly ideals are temporal and ever changing, they only create feelings of fear and anxiety… A girl will eventually know deep down that there is no real security in these things, but because she has never experienced the true acceptance of Christ, she will continue to work tirelessly to produce acceptance from the world.  Fear of rejection can override all common sense and is the cause of countless casualties of virtue (Proverbs 11:22).

Insecurity grabs hold as the heart looks to avoid the world’s rejection and self-preservation is sought at all costs.  Girls learn early that they must be the best, and if they are not, they must bring down those getting in their way.  You know the drill; this is where “Mean Girl” meets “Victim Girl.”  It is hard to not be one or the other, unless you are the girl who is sucking up to the “Mean Girl,” in attempt to keep her off of your own back.  The drama unfolds as the female mind convinces herself that if she draws attention to other people’s flaws, the focus of the world audience will shift, and hopefully, no one will notice her own.  It becomes an endless cycle that isolates women from others, when God has actually wired us to grow and thrive in relationships.  In the insecure heart lives a girl who never really rests and trusts, knowing more loneliness than she would care to admit.

If we allow ourselves to believe that anything is more important about us than how God views us, we will be insecure for as long as we believe it, and so will our girls.  They may not be able to express it fully, but deep down they understand that their beauty and abilities are limited, finite, and unreliable ~ no one can fully rest and trust in themselves or their own flawed human frailty. Only Jesus is limitless, infinite and totally reliable!   He is where we can truly rest, trust and find confidence.  (2 Corinthians 12:9)

A daughter of the Most High God, who knows where her true value lies, has a grace, assurance and confidence that are not shattered by the world’s definition of beauty or value.  Harsh words, mean stares, and cold shoulders of cruel, insecure girls are only inconvenient, not catastrophic.  She understands that their response to her is immaturity and insecurity.  She can learn to see them as God sees them, and have compassion and sympathy for them in their fruitless pursuits.  She can love them with Christ’s love, as He first loved her. She can see their perspective as a lack of Christ in their lives, recognizing that they are not fully trusting in God for their value and leading.  She knows that only her God is unchanging and only His perspective, plan and purpose matter! Despite what anyone says or thinks ~ peace, joy and contentment come in the knowing that He has a future and a hope for her. (Jeremiah 29:11)

The Lord desires to show you His Truth that will protect your heart and not allow the destructive lies of the world to derail your self-worth… or maybe better put, your “God-worth.”  He is ABLE!

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Galatians 1:10  Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Philippians 3:20-21 But our citizenship is in heaven.  And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Romans 8:37-39  No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

All Bible references taken from the New International Version.

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