I need Jesus

” The wife of a man from the company of the prophets cried out to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the Lord.  But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves.”
Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you?  Tell me, what do you have in your house?”
Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars.  Don’t ask for just a few.  Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.”  She left him and shut the door behind her and her sons.  They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.”  But he replied, “There is not a jar left.”  Then the oil stopped flowing.  She went and told the man of God, and he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts.  You and your sons can live on what is left.” 2 Kings 4:1-7


I can relate to the woman in this passage in so many ways.  I, too, am a single mom and although I do not have to worry that my kids will be taken as slaves if I cannot pay my bills, I do have many other things that could weigh heavy on my heart as I raise my children.  Our life is hard.  Beyond hard sometimes, but our God is good.

The thing I relate to most is that this mom has come to a place where she is at the end of her own resources.   I come to that place often, where I am at the end of myself and there is nothing left to do, but turn to God.   I was a little intimidated when considering sharing about turning to God in times of trouble, because the Lord knows I haven’t always walked with God and even now, as a Christian, I don’t do this perfectly.  I struggle sometimes and wrestle with the life I have been given, but when I turn to Him every time I have found Him faithful!  He is the only place to find peace when my heart feels weighted down by the load that I carry.

I didn’t grow up in the Church.  I became a Christian after my divorce 8 years ago.  Before I came to my Saviour, I turned to many other things in my times of difficulty ~ I turned to people and relationships, to bitterness and despair, drinking, drugs, anger, and even self-pity, but none of these things bring relief to our struggles.  Only Jesus can heal my brokenness, nothing but my Lord can fill my emptiness.  Nothing can bring strength to my weakness except Jesus Christ.

Over the last couple of years, God has been showing me what it means to fully rely on Him.   So many times He has removed all possibility of self-reliance to let me experience His provision.  Isn’t it the truth that we want to see God at work, but we don’t want to be placed in a position where we need to see Him work?  I surely don’t like to be in the position where I am helpless to do anything to help myself and my children, but what a place of blessing this is for me when I turn my eyes to Jesus. 

I battled illness last fall, and at times did not even have the energy to  even meet the basic needs of my children.  One day, we needed groceries and I ventured out, determined to get this simple task done, but I only got half way through the store before I’d reached my limit.  I had nothing left and just wanted to cry.  Mom having a meltdown in the middle of the pasta aisle would not have been a pretty sight.  I prayed my way though the rest of that shopping trip and what I learned was that when my strength is gone, I have no choice but to rely on the strength and faithfulness of God. 

I could share with you example after example like this of how God has provided for me and my children when I couldn’t do it myself.  Even today as I write, I am completely empty after a long and difficult week.  I can’t do this life on my own.  I constantly struggle with feeling overwhelmed and feeling like I am not enough for my kids, whom I love so dearly.  There is just not enough time or energy to do the things I need to do on a daily basis.  There is not enough of me to go around.  I need Jesus.

I’m  pretty sure that this widow knew where to turn, and had the faith to believe because she had been walking with God every day.  I seek to allow God to lead me and live through me each day ~ whether it is joy~filled or filled with trouble ~ and that is how I’ve learned to trust. 

It is an amazing privilege to be a mom.  Jessie and Ty bring me such happiness and I am so thankful for the life we share.  Yes it is hard, parenting is hard, but my God is faithful.  When I turn to Him our family is blessed and I can be full of joy even in the challenges we face.   Only through Jesus is this possible.  Only He is enough.  I so love Him.

Scripture quoted from the New International Version

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