As I was encouraging a good friend to pray and wait on the Lord for answers to some serious questions about the direction and path for her life… I realized I am far better at telling others to wait on Him, than doing it myself! What is up with that?! I have seen God do unimaginable good in my life and in the lives of others… far exceeding ALL expectation EVERY time! So, why won’t I learn to wait on Him?
Many years back, my husband and I had been praying about an ongoing glitch in our marriage… sometimes it seemed like a big deal, other times it was just something that my husband does that I find frustrating, and in turn, he finds my actions frustrating. (Although, in my pride, I struggled to see what he could possibly find irritating about me! Just kidding!) Surely God could bridge the gap and make things right?
Yes, He can ~ in HIS time! I know this, but I kept thinking, “What could be taking Him so long?” I started thinking that maybe God was tied up with other things that needed His attention and He could use my help! So, I decided to speed this whole thing up a little. (You’re wincing and cringing now, aren’t you?) Besides, if we got this out of the way, we could move on and enjoy looking back on all the growing we had done because of my abundant wisdom… Right?
I mustered all the tact and “truth in love” I knew how, and went and told my husband just how wonderful he Would Be, if he would stop doing X, Y, and Z. I completely expected him to thank me profusely for my grace and wisdom in bringing this to his attention. So, I felt blindsided when the storm broke out! My response was less than godly, too. If that was the way he felt about it, if he could not appreciate my tact and constructive criticism, then I would continue on and make things very plain and simple. I’d spell it out for him without all the warm fuzzies I had thoughtfully prepared. There we went… running in that vicious circle, like two hamsters in mad pursuit of nothing on the Wheel to Nowhere!
Later, the Lord brought to mind that verse that says, “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength…” I realized that I hadn’t waited upon the Lord at all, and had argued out of my own strength and completely exhausted my body and spirit. I was wiped out, and so was my husband, with nothing to show for it except injured hearts.
God has shown me what can happen if I do wait on the Lord for His timing, and what can happen if I don’t. So it is mind boggling to me that I continue to choose to rush ahead of God. I liken myself to a dog out for a walk, who suddenly bursts out of its master’s grip and heads right into the traffic of a busy street. Disobedience, pride, impatience ~ it’s all in there whenever I choose to run ahead of the Lord. How about you?
Paul sums it up for us nicely in Romans 7: 15 & 21-23: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do… So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ”
So, my hope and prayer continues to be that I will be obedient to wait on the Lord when He calls me to, trusting that He will give me the strength and self-discipline to do it. He is ABLE ~ and a little duct tape over my mouth wouldn’t hurt either! Thank You Jesus, for Your patience with me, and for my husband’s patience, too! PRAISE GOD that I am loved just as I am, a work in progress!
Psalm 27:13-14 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 40: 1-3 I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.
Proverbs 28:26 He who trusts himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe.
Isaiah 30:18 Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!