Archive for February, 2009

Prayers for my special someone

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

I am a divorced woman who has found a wonderful divorced man to share my life with.  We care deeply for one another.

He endured treatment for MDS, a form of leukemia this past year.  2 months ago he was told he was ahead of schedule and the news looked wonderful.  This past week, he received the news that the MDS was back.  He is scheduled to have a stem cell transplant tomorrow from his sister, who thankfully is a perfect match.

Please pray for God to work in healing, for the transplant to be successful , for the doctor to have the knowledge to do what he needs to do for Neal’s healing and remission, and for me to be able to be there for Neal and take my worries elsewhere.

Thank you so much!  Laura


Prayer for My Marriage

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

Hello I’m a mommy of a 21 month old and have been married for only a few years. All my husband and I do is fight. He told me recently that he does not love me and that he wants out of this marriage.

I’m very concerned for my family and my son. I know that things can be difficult in a marriage and I’m really, really trying but feel that my husband has given up and will not try. Anything that I do he finds a way to fight with me about it and I feel like my whole life is falling apart.

Please pray for me and my family. Ask God to help my husband with whatever issues he is having. I desperately want this marriage to work and feel like all I’m doing is tip toeing around him to keep him from walking out the door.

God Bless you all!


Prayers for a Conflict

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

I have been going through a situation with a former friend that involve her starting rumors and  things of that nature.  It has trickled down to our two oldest sons who are in the same class and caused problems with them.  Please pray for this conflict to end.  It has taken a told on my family and marriage. Pray also that God will give me  peace in my heart as I am anxious all of the time because of this conflict.

Nikki


A Mother and Grandmother’s Prayer

Friday, February 27th, 2009

Goodmorning to all:

I am a grandmother of 5 and mother of 4 children.My husband and I have had many crosses to bare when it comes to our oldest daughter.

I am now 50 and am tiring out of the continuous stresses from her life.

She is now 29 has 4 children,was married for 3 years and now in the process of divorce. As a teenager she has always had a man in her life and we were hoping this would change with maturity but I am getting those unsettling feelings in my stomach that tells me something is not right.She usually calls and talks several times a day but for the past week she is hardly calling. Yesterday she didn’t even return my call until later in the evening.

Please pray for her and us. I pray alot but lately I am so preoccuped with this that I don’t think I am letting go and giving to the Lord. I need lots of prayer.

Thank You All

God Bless

Tammy McNaught


Prayers for a Family

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

I am 27 years old married with children. I feel like my family is in
desperate need of help. All that me and my husband do lately is fight
I try to get him to open up and talk about things but he never will.
We fight about everything it could be the weather and it’s a fight. I
am afraid this us hurting my children. They are ages 9, 5 & 3. They
mean the world to both if us but lately I feel like all I do is cry.

I  need prayer and healing I can’t go I living like this I am so unhappy.
I love my kids and my husband but I am so tired I feel like u wanna
sleep for days and not wake up. I don’t know what happened to my
perfect family and I’m scared I don’t want to start over and I don’t
want tone alone.

Thank you


Tänia – Faith Prints

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Tänia is a wife, mother of two, and grandmother of four little granddaughters.  She grew up on the plains of West Texas and has been serving God since the tender age of 8 years old. Tänia is the Administrative Assistant to the Senior Pastor at her church. 

The road was not always easy for Tänia and her family.  In 2001, her 20-year-old son was involved in a DUI accident that killed a friend.  His court process and subsequent imprisonment became a daily walk of faith for the family.  Tänia says, “The sustaining prayers and support of so many online friends and the Lord’s blessings upon our life allowed us to walk by faith and not by sight.  We stepped out each and every day not knowing where God was taking us, but reveling in the fact that He knew what was best for us.”  Though the road was rough, God blessed this family and today, her son is serving the Lord, along with his wife and two children. 

How did you go about naming your blog, and where can we find it?  
The name of my blog is Faith Prints.  As I have journeyed through life, I can look back and see where faith sustained me through every turn.  I praise the Lord that I don’t have to worry, but only to believe!  You can visit me at www.weirblessed.com/faithprints.

What do you find yourself writing about most often?  
I write about my sweet family and how God has used each one of them to help grow my faith in different ways.  My sweet mother has been my mentor as I have watched her walk through two bouts of cancer and with such grace!  I have learned to find joy in all things… to trust God for all things… and to rely upon Him at all times!

What prompted you to start blogging, and when did you launch your site?  
I came online in October of 2000 and met a wonderful group of ladies.  We were in different groups together and before long, I knew a few of them better than I knew some of my own family members!  We prayed together, laughed & cried together… we walked through marriages, births, divorces and deaths together.  When blogging first began to catch on, we decided to try it and today, I can say we have been blogging together for about 7 years now.

How much thought and time do you generally put into each post?  
It depends.  I am very honest with my posts.  So most of what I write is just spilled right from the eart. Sometimes, I have to read my own posts to realize what God has been doing in my life.  What is that saying?  ”Can’t see the forest for the trees.”  Yes… that’s it!  Sometimes I can’t see the blessings for the multitude of them!  So I have to stand back and evaluate!

What are some of your hobbies or accomplishments outside of blogging?   
My hobbies are reading, crafting, and decorating.  My accomplishments?  Well… I believe they are God’s accomplishments, but my marriage and family.  My husband and I are so in love and I think I love him more today than yesterday, everyday!  I believe that loving someone and sticking with them through it all, that is an accomplishment!

What struggle, if any, have you experienced with keeping your blog updated?  
Sometimes fearful of what others might think.  I have been afraid to voice the truth of a situation, but I knew that I needed my praying friends more than ever. Somewhere along the way I decided to let it all hang out.  Some posts that are just too personal, I will password for certain eyes only.

What are some of your favorite blogs?
I think my all time favorite is  Notes From the Farm.  Diane is genuine and has blessed me through her honesty and love for Jesus.  I love Tip Junkie… because of obvious reasons!  Wonderful tips!  And another is Beloved Mama. She has such a heart for prayer and I am happy to be a part of her prayer team!

Is there a Bible verse that has God recently placed on your heart? 
One  that I recently blogged about is actually a chapter… Psalm 39.  And I think the whole thing speaks to me all the time.  But the verses that really bless me are 15 & 16…

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Is there anything that you’d like to add in closing?  I am so thankful for a place on the web for Christian women to gather and learn from one another.  We are blessed to live in a country where we have this privilege and even more blessed to have so many Christian sisters from all walks of life!

 

 


Shanda Brabek – A Teachable Heart

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Shanda Brabec lives near Washington D.C. with her wonderful husband of 10 years and their three precious children. She is the youngest of four children but is often guessed as a first born child.  A former 1st grade teacher and corporate recruiter, she is now a stay at home mom, a Co-Coordinater for her local MOPS group, and she enjoys speaking at ladies events. She is passionate about women reaching their full potential through Jesus Christ.  It is important to her that Christian women are real and open with one another as we walk through this life day by day. Shanda is a Proverbs 31 Ministries “She Speaks” Graduate.  

How did you go about naming your blog, and where can we find it?
Through the years I have increasingly realized the value of having a teachable heart.

Esther 2:15 beautifully summarizes the blessings of that to me: “When the time came for Esther to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai, the king’s eunuch who was in charge of the harem, suggested. And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her.” Because Esther was willing to receive and heed council, she not only won favor, but became a queen who God used to save His people.  When we are open to what the Lord is teaching us, there are no limits to what He can do through each of us.

My blog can be found at http://ateachableheart.blogspot.com

What do you find yourself writing about most often?
My blog is a compilation of thoughts, lessons, and ideas that the Lord is giving and teaching me.  I have experienced a lot of loss and pain in my life with the loss of my mother, father, and all of my grandparents.  My husband has a chronic disease (Crohn’s Disease) and I have learned many lessons while experiencing difficult seasons of life.  I share openly what I am learning each day and some things that the Lord has revealed to my heart in the past.  Monday posts are dedicated as “Marital Moments.”  Thoughts, ideas and humor to enrich our marriages.  Having been through a tremendous amount of joy, laughter, tears, and sorrow with my husband, we have experienced first hand how essential it is to focus on building our marriage and family.

What prompted you to start blogging, and when did you launch your site?
I was prompted to start blogging after attending the Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference. I attended a break out session on blogging and felt the Lord prompting me that this was an area that I needed to go out of my comfort zone of familiarity and become a part of.  Lysa Terkeurst said that there are usually 3-5 things worthy of blogging about every day.  After going home and watching my 3 beautiful children, creative husband and active cat, I realized it was something I really could do!  I launched my blog in July of this year.  (2008)

How much thought and time do you generally put into each post?
The thought and time I put into each post varies from post to post.  Some pour out in minutes.  Other times, the post is developed deep within my mind and heart for several days before I write and post what the Lord is revealing to my heart.  It is important to me to keep my posts worthy of the readers time, so I do put a lot of thought into the words that I share.

What are some of your hobbies or accomplishments outside of blogging?
We have an active family!  Skiing, hiking, horseback riding, scuba diving, walking/talking/eating with my family or girlfriends.  I am also honored to be a co-coordinator for my local MOPS (Mother’s of Preschoolers) group so I stay busy planning and running our bi-weekly meetings.  I will be published for the first official time in February of 2009 in the P31 Magazine.

What struggle have you experienced with keeping your blog updated?
I have a very busy two year old who is constantly pulling letters off of my laptop!  Outside of that, there are very busy days that sometimes limit me from posting.  I have to evaluate my priorities regularly to keep things in balance.  I love the ability to schedule posts for later dates when I know that I will have a busy week ahead.

What are some of your favorite blogs?
It is very difficult to choose…

http://www.profoundlyseth.com
Grace Talk With Daveda: http://gracetalkwithdaveda.blogspot.com
Bring the Rain:
http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com
My Charming Kids:
http://www.mycharmingkids.net

What Bible verse has God recently placed on your heart?
I Chronicles 16:11 “Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.”

Is there anything that you’d like to add in closing?

I am who I am by the grace of Jesus Christ.  I am not a perfect person and I don’t expect other Christian women to be either.  It is in being real with each other and the Lord that we can become who it is that God has designed us to be.  It is my hope and joy to offer what I can to encourage and bless you along the journey of your hearts.  Thank you so much CWO for all that you do to connect us as Christian Women!


Denise Duncan – Really Rachel

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Denise Duncan is a wife and stay-at-home mom of 4 young children residing in Texas.  She has spent the last 20 years as a technical writer and trainer in the international logistics industry.   She feels exponentially blessed with a life that did not start out as rosy as it is today.  She acknowledges God’s hand of protection, discipline, mercy, and abounding grace in her life.  From the severity of childhood domestic violence to the more recent tragic suicide of her sister, she does not dwell on the darkness that could have been.  Instead, she basks in the glorious sparkle of God as he has given her the desires of her heart and more. 

Denise and her husband of 13 years are active in their local church, school, and happily busy raising their 4 children Noah, Simon, Elizabeth, and Rachel.  Three are biological and their youngest, Rachel, was just adopted from China this year.   It is the experience of international adoption that has catapulted Denise and her family into more kingdom opportunities of orphan care and ministry.  Denise now spends her time raising her children, raising awareness of orphan care and adoption, and writing about it.  For now her writing focuses on keeping up on Rachel’s milestones, but she is also committed to writing a young adult fiction work focused around adoption.

How did you go about naming your blog, and where can we find it?
I decided on Really Rachel simply because I’m a big fan of alliteration and whimsy :)   Plus it’s the chronology of Rachel’s first year home.  We waited for 3 years, so by saying she’s “really” here meant something to us. The current blog can be found at : www.really-rachel.blogspot.com

What do you find yourself writing about most often?
I recently heard Joyce Meyer indicate that the “present” is a “present”.  That is, today is a gift.  Marvel at the ordinary.  And that’s what my blog may embrace.  I write about daily, everyday, family life of a family of six.  I concentrate on Rachel’s journey for now.  Adoption seems so foreign or impossible to many people, so they don’t consider it.  But by attending one class or reading a few blogs, people can see that adoption is very possible, personal.  It is truly miraculous; a snippet of God’s love for us in tangible form.  When you embrace that child…it’s supernatural; they’re yours. 

I am also starting a book in the young adult fiction genre with adoption as a key element.

What prompted you to start blogging, and when did you launch your site?
I avoided blogging for a long time!  It seemed so self-serving to begin with, but I soon learnd there was more to blogging than pontificating!  It’s my supplement to scrapbooking.  Blogging allows me to record milestones, events, precious moments, and antics anytime with ease.  Our adoption journey was the catalyst for starting a real blog.  I launched our first blog on April 14, 2007 titled Waiting For Rachel which chronicles our waiting and journey to get Rachel!

How much thought and time do you generally put into each post?
For me it’s not so much thought as it is inspiration.  I’m a firm believer in writing when so moved to.  For me it just happens and cannot be forced.  In my technical writing career, however, it takes hours of thought and days, weeks of research.

What are some of your hobbies or accomplishments outside of blogging?
Hobbies: Volunteer work in women’s ministry, pre-school special needs ministry; Digital designing, reading, walking, movies, discovering new places with family & friends

Accomplishments: I consider my family a daily accomplishment!  Routine and structure mixed with a child’s imagination and/or uncanny timing qualify as accomplishment. :)   Other accomplishments include my Bachelor’s Degree from University of North Texas, PTA president, and multiple past career endorsements.

What struggle have you experienced with keeping your blog updated?
My primary struggle has been putting it off until I have the perfect thing to say or the perfect time to do it!  Which is silly considering I believe writing when inspired.   That said, even when inspiried, I might put off writing until a more convenient time presents itself.   The other struggle may be that I haven’t downloaded my photos yet.  So marrying up photos with inspiration means struggle to keep up sometimes.

What are some of your favorite blogs?
Kerry Hasenbalg:            http://kerryhasenbalg.typepad.com/blog/
Hope’s Song:                 http://www.melodyzhangorphans.blogspot.com/
Java With Jennifer:
http://jennroth.typepad.com/
Confident Christianity    http://confidentchristianity.blogspot.com/

What Bible verse has God recently placed on your heart?
Very recently I was drawn to Malachi 3:2 “But who can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner’s fire and like launderers’ soap.  One of my favorite blog authors shared this.  Launderers’ soap?  Wow, not only did this speak to me as a mom and “laundress,” but it also spoke volumes on God’s refinement and His infinite ability to cleanse us, our souls.

Is there anything that you’d like to add in closing?
In closing, there are thousands of other blogs out there that are way more dynamic and inspiring than my little, simple one. I am just an ordinary woman; an everyday mom living each day knowing I take so much for granted.  Like most women, I see my flaws a lot more easily than any gifts the LORD may bestow.  Yet I am learning to listen and accept those opportunities to be a vessel, because our adoption journey is a living-eternal miracle; a modern day parable personifying God’s love creation.

 


Miraculous Healing Needed

Saturday, February 7th, 2009
Dear Christian Women Online, 

I need a miraculous healing for an enlarged heart. In December 2008 I was hospitalized with atrial fibrillation and possible congestive heart failure. They put me on so many heart medications I have to keep a list of what to take and when. I know that is not God’s will for me. I’ve been housebound for going on 6 years, ever since my most recent emergency surgery in 2003. I have only left the house for doctor’s appointments since then. I was declared permanently disabled in 1999 with a bad back and Fibromyalgia. I have no contact with the outside world except for my online e-mail contacts. Please agree that God will sovereignly heal me so I can live a normal lifestyle. Thank
you and God bless you. 


Children of Guatemala

Friday, February 6th, 2009

Please pray for the children of Guatemala.  I am leaving on a short term mission trip tomorrow to an orphanage near Guatemala City.  The children of Guatemala are stuck in a political nightmare (see Guatadopt.org for more info).  These children need all of our prayers and support.  Thank you! Blessings, Katie


Suffering with Depression

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

Hi, 

I just found your website yesterday as I search for Christian Woman with Depression.  I found a very good blog that is helpful.  I need as many prayers as I can get.  I have a mood disorder and have had it for probably half my life.  I now have a psychologist who is working with me (I have a 2nd appt this week).  I am struggling with how to deal with this depression.  I am searching for God’s will in my life and my faith.   Can I beat this depression with my faith?  I would have to wean my 15 month old daughter, which I do not want to do, if I go on medicine.  I really need prayer and support through this.  I don’t want to let my family suffer any longer. 

If you know of any Christian Woman groups in NW Indiana that I could hook up with that would be wonderful too!  I am in need of Christian friends.  I go to a church but have not bonded with anyone there.  I live in an area that I don’t really feel I belong in.  I am very health minded (believe it or not) and am taking a Dr Sears approach to raising my daughter.

Thank you in advance for your prayers…

Ellen


Letter From The Editor

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

This month Lisa McKay is here with us, and Lisa McKay is not. Confusing? Yeah–a bit. Let me clarify: there are two of them. Our regular Lisa, The Preacher’s Wife, is off for a few months to complete some writing projects, but in the meantime we are blessed with a dear friend of hers, of the same name.

Lisa is here with Sunny Shell of “Sister 2 Sister” to discuss her debut novel, my hands came away red, and from what Sunny has said, it’s a must read.

We’re also chatting about love this month–the love of God, the love for others, the love of our children, and some love for the temple we live in. I love how Bonnie put it in the kitchen this month when she wrote:

Is it possible that in giving and receiving love we are experiencing a bit of the supernatural? We experience a small portion of what our soul truly longs for–true intimacy with God.

I pray that this month, in giving and receiving you also will experience that intimacy with God.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. –Colossians 3:12-14

Blessings,

Founder and Editor,
Christian Women Online Magazine
“Uniting Women of Faith”

Read my column—Live Well! 
My blog: Darlene Schacht.com


Sunny Shell Interviews Lisa McKay

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

Before I introduce our guest for this month’s cover, I thought it would be best for me to confess something first. I am not an avid reader. Besides the Bible, I’ve never enjoyed reading and have been frustrated my entire life, as I constantly find myself asleep after reading for only a few minutes.

In addition, I don’t particularly enjoy reading fiction books. And now I’ll share with you, why this confession is so important to mention, prior to introducing this month’s cover girl. Our guest this month is an author… of a fiction book nonetheless. And do you know what? It is FABULOUS! It has to be, I didn’t even fall asleep! And if that weren’t enough of a miracle, I really enjoyed it! Why? I believe mostly because it wasn’t the typical story, nor was it the typical fiction book. Instead, it was a book that really made me consider some very deep faith issues. It caused me to contemplate why I believe what I believe, it challenged me to consider if I would behave the same way if put in a similar situation and also provoked me to wonder if I am living out true biblical Christianity or have succumbed to the comforts of cultural Christianity.

Now with all that said and done, I’d like to introduce you to our dear sister, Lisa McKay, whom God has used to prove to me that all fiction books are not boring and some even have deep spiritual impact on the lives of those who read them.

Our sister Lisa has come to visit us with her debut novel, my hands came away red, (Moody Publishers). I have not only been intrigued by this wonderful book she wrote, but also by her life she so honestly shares.

Lisa is a trained forensic psychologist who works as the Director of Training and Education Services at the Headington Institute in California. She has dual citizenship in Australia and Canada and has lived in eight countries. By the time you read this, she will be in New Zealand on her honeymoon.

As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that today is the day that Lisa travels to Australia for her wedding set for the 24th of January. And I’m praying that the Lord will richly bless this precious sister whom I’ve so enjoyed getting to know through this interview; with hopes that our new friendship will blossom in Christ.

I pray that God will ignite your heart to ponder the depth and height of the riches found only in Christ as you get to know Lisa through this interview, just as He did with me.

Most people find it difficult to plan a wedding in the same town in which they live. But you live in California, you’re engaged to man who lives in Papua New Guinea (PNG) and will be married in January 2009 in Australia. This is quite interesting, to say the least. Would you please share with us how you can see the hand of God guiding you in all of this?

I believe it was the hand of God that enabled Mike and I to connect in the first place. The short version of that story is that a friend of Mike’s saw a press release for my novel and read about my role at the Headington Institute, which is to provide stress and trauma training for humanitarian aid workers. She thought of an aid worker friend of hers who lived in PNG and could do with some information on stress and trauma, so she went to my writing website trying to figure out how to sign Mike up for the Headington Institute’s newsletter. Then she read some of my essays before emailing Mike and encouraging him to read some of my writing. He did, and then he emailed me, and….well, six months later we were engaged.

I used to hear people say things like, “Oh, when you meet the right person, you’ll know. You’ll just know” Before meeting Mike sayings like that often frustrated me. But that sense of “knowing”, a relaxed sort of peace and the room to just be myself, was present right from the beginning with us. Perhaps it partly comes with being older – we were both 31 when we met and are very grateful for the lessons we learned solo during our twenties – but also I had a sense from quite early on that we would most likely be married. That is probably what enabled me to (mostly) to keep my head when Mike proposed to me in May, after we had spent a total of less than three weeks face to face in the same country.

The unique manner in which we met, the mutual friends we already had in Melbourne (people I’d met while growing up in Zimbabwe and whom Mike got to know when he lived in Melbourne) our shared passions and experiences related to humanitarian work, the ways in which we were able to establish patterns of deep and transparent communication across the miles, even the fact that we were 31 when we met, not 21… I see the fingerprints of God on all those facets of our relationship.

That is truly amazing Lisa! And even as an “outsider” I can see the fingerprints of God all over your relationship with Mike! I suppose if ever people ask if the two of you were “set up” you can tell them, “Yes, by God!” :-)

I noticed you have Opportunity International and International Justice linked on your website. What are your affiliations and/or involvement with these organizations?

After I finished the first draft of my hands came away red, before I started querying publishers, I felt led to make the decision to give away all my royalties should it ever actually be published. So when I got the contract with Moody, I decided to use the money to support charities working in Asia, particularly Indonesia, since that’s where the book was set. I picked OI and IJM because they are organizations I respect that target poverty and injustice in very different (but both very important) ways. OI works in microfinance – providing small loans to allow poor entrepreneurs to start or expand a business. IJM is a human rights agency that documents injustices related to slavery, sexual exploitation, and other forms of violent oppression. They work with local officials and court systems to strengthen public justice systems.

Bless you dear sister for your obedience to the Lord in giving all your royalties to both these wonderful, Christ-honoring organizations. I was especially impressed with the Scriptures they both base their commitments on: IJM – Isaiah 1:17; OI – Matthew 5:42 and Proverbs 14:31.

Your position at the Headington Institute is not only very interesting, but it is also vital to those who are called to “defend the rights of the poor and needy” (Proverbs 31:9) Would you please share with us what are the most exciting and fulfilling aspects of your job and what are the most heartbreaking and difficult aspects of your job?

I do love traveling to run workshops on stress, trauma and resilience with groups of humanitarian workers. Last month I spent a couple of weeks in Kenya, working with humanitarian workers and counselors based in Nairobi. These are people who do amazing work under incredibly difficult circumstances. Some document the sexual abuse of children in order to help prosecute offenders. Others work with refugees in the Sudan, or teachers in the slum areas of Nairobi, or child soldiers in Liberia. One of the workshops I ran focused on the topic of spirituality – it is almost impossible to do this sort of work without it affecting your worldview, your source of strength and hope, and your deepest sense of what is important. Given the challenges they are facing, it was such a privilege to help these inspirational people explore how their career has impacted their spirituality and values, and how they can prepare to meet and grow from future spiritual challenges.

Ironically, however, it’s this very aspect I find so rewarding that can also be the most draining and difficult. The time spent in airports and on planes to get to and from workshops, the focused energy required for teaching, and bearing witness to the stories that are shared by participants can all leave me physically and emotionally exhausted.

I truly believe this is God’s calling on your life dear sister. As so often, it seems that the very strengths and passions God has given us, is exactly where Satan attacks us. But all glory be to Jesus Christ, who alone can refresh us and overwhelm us with His joy – delighting in obedience to God.

You say that you provide “spiritual” support to the relief workers as well. What does that mean? Do you mean spirituality in general or is this another avenue God has provided you to spread the Gospel of Christ? Not that you would “force” it on people, but would present it to them?

I’m glad you asked about this, as this is an important point to be clear on related to work.

The Headington Institute is not technically a “faith-based organization”. This grants us access to work with a broader range of groups than we would have if we were specifically a “Christian organization”. As a result, I often have a mixed faith group in my workshops. I always talk about the importance of spiritual awareness and self-care, and ways in which spirituality and religious faith are impacted by humanitarian work. However, in my role as workshop facilitator I always talk about spirituality in very general terms and define it as, “your deepest sense of meaning and purpose, hope and faith.” This allows participants to explore these concepts within their own understanding of faith, and promotes open dialogue within the group. The group members will often end up talking openly about their personal faith and religious beliefs. However I rarely do that as the facilitator, and almost never without being directly questioned on the topic by a participant. What a wonderful opportunity God has given you! :-) I will certainly include this in my prayers for you sweet sister as you minister to these precious people in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I sincerely pray that God will open many doors for you to share the salvation found only in the Son of God.

In your essay entitled Unexpected Joy, you state: “I was trying to figure out how to make sense of pain. And I was trying to follow through on a promise I made at eighteen.” Would you please elaborate on this statement by sharing what pain were you referring to and what promise you made at eighteen?

When I was eighteen I went on my own backpack mission trip – to the Philippines. A couple of months before I left I read an article about pirate attacks in Southeast Asia and it set me to wondering what would happen if my trip met up with a bunch of modern-day pirates. That would be a cool story, I thought. Someone should really write an honest story about a mission team that collides with some of the worst this world offers, God.

Somehow, during the following weeks that thought slowly became a conviction. I should do that. Then it morphed into a promise. I will do that…

I had no idea at the time that it would take me seven years to write anything decent, and five more years before the book would see the light of day. If I’d known that, I might perhaps have been much more careful with my promises!

The story I initially had in mind changed during those twelve years. The role of pirates shrank to a couple of lines, and increasingly I found myself (and the characters) grappling with troubling questions about pain and suffering. I grew up in Bangladesh and Zimbabwe, and as a young adult I worked in prisons, with the police, on child-death review teams, and slums in the Philippines, and in the Balkans after the wars there. All of those experiences had raised many questions about pain that I didn’t feel I had good answers for. These turned out to be the same sorts of questions that the characters in the novel were confronted with. Why does pain exist at all, for example, and what’s the point of suffering? How can a loving God bear to stand by and watch the bad unfurl beside the good in the wilderness of freedom and choice?

Writing Hands in many ways was a personal quest. I wanted to tell a good story, yes. But telling that story also allowed me to explore those questions about pain through the medium of fiction and the eyes of different characters, and come to a clearer sense of God’s peace with my own answers (or lack thereof).

Those are great questions sister. Thank you for honestly sharing your personal challenges with your faith in order to comfort other sisters who may be facing similar issues.

One of my favorite parts of your book was that you used a real letter your father wrote to you. I wish I could quote the entire letter, it’s so wonderful! But I’ll only quote this one sentence that really blessed me, “He [God] doesn’t spare us all difficulties, but He does walk through every situation with us.” When and why did you father write this letter to you? How did it affect you?

As my parents dropped me off at Boot Camp when I went on my own mission trip, my Dad gave me a spiral bound notebook with a letter from him on the front page. In the letter he talked about wanting to protect me from the difficulties that can come in life, but knowing that that’s not in his job description as a parent, or even within his ability, but that God is always present.

During the three-month trip I used that notebook as a journal, so I saw it every time I went to write. It was a very tough summer – blisters, heat stroke, long hikes, no showers, no toilets…the list could go on. But seeing my Dad’s letter in my journal reminded me that I had family who loved me (even if they felt very far away) and that God loved me too – even if He felt very far away as well.

Precious sister Lisa, I’m so blown away by this! As a parent, I so often desire to shield my children from pains I’ve suffered. What your dad wrote to you has really ministered to me as a mom, and has helped me to remember what my God-given role is.

It seems your main character Cori has quite a bit in common with your real life i.e., you both grew up in many countries, you’re both Australian, how you both felt about moving to the States, and you both were part of a Teen Missions International backpack team. I know your book is fiction, but did you base any of the story on your personal experiences during your 1994 Teen Missions to the Philippines?

Yes. There is more than a little “fictionography” in there, especially the experiences in the first half of the book. Although I didn’t decide to go on my own missions trip to escape a relationship, other aspects of Cori’s heartache at leaving Kenya and her rather breathtakingly casual approach to signing up for the trip came from my own experiences. So did many of the details in the Boot Camp scenes.

Thankfully my own mission team never witnessed the violence that Cori’s team is exposed to. These details, however, I reconstructed as best I could based on events that had actually unfolded in Indonesia, and the questions that Cori grapples with after these awful events – questions about human nature, and the nature and sovereignty of God – are all questions I’ve found personally confronting as the result of life and work experiences during my twenties.

Again, thank you Lisa for being so transparent with us so that we may clearly see the work of Christ in you.

What kind of research did you do to find out about the true “civil war” that occurred between the Christians and the Muslims in Ambon in 1999?

I was attending university in Australia during this time, but spent several months of every year in Indonesia between 1996 and 2000 because my parents and brother were living in Jakarta. A month after they were evacuated to Singapore during the 1998 Jakarta riots we all returned to Indonesia with a new awareness of the instability of the region. There were tanks on the street, various shops had been gutted, and some friends who’d stayed and hunkered down during the riots were struggling with post-traumatic stress issues. There was tension in the air.

Having been sensitized by the events in Jakarta, when Ambon went into meltdown in 1999 I guess I just paid attention to what was going on. I clipped out articles from the Jakarta Post and saved them. I took a tape recorder and interviewed missionaries who had fled the violence. I looked at maps, read travel guides, and bought picture books and postcards of scenes from Ambon and the other islands to help me visualize what the place looked like. I tracked down detailed reports published by the International Crisis Group and Human Rights Watch to help me understand the human rights abuses that had occurred and what had sparked and maintained this conflict. I know I didn’t get every detail in the story absolutely right, but I tried as very hard to understand and portray the complexity of the events involved.

Wow, I can’t even imagine what that would be like! We live in such blessed conditions here in America. I feel a bit shameful for the “inconveniences” I so often fret about. Thank you for putting things into perspective for me.

What in particular about this village and situation interested you enough to write about it?

I wanted Cori and the other characters in the story to be confronted with some of the worst that the world has to offer – with life at its most disturbing and confusing. The Moluku Islands of Indonesia are the only area in the country with a significant indigenous Christian population and, under pressure, Ambon fractured suddenly and violently down the fault line of religion. What followed was awful, and disturbing. And very, very confusing.

What happened in Ambon and the surrounding islands – with Muslims and Christians killing each other in the name of God and clan – raised all sorts of questions for me about the nature of this specific conflict, and I knew it would for the characters in the story, too. What caused some people of faith on both sides of the conflict to resist the violence and try to protect others, while many others who called themselves Muslim or Christian picked up machetes? Was this so-called “religious war” really about faith, or was it more about politics and/or power and/or money? What role did the government and the army have in fomenting the conflict? How on earth do you even begin to love your enemy when your enemies just burned down your house and killed your family?

The very fact that these were tough questions with no easy answer, perhaps with no single “right” answer, was what drew me to write about Ambon.

I believe this is a challenge for all believers. I think sometimes, instead of trying to figure it all out, it is wise to do what you’ve done – trust Jesus’ words in Luke 6:27-28 & 35-36 and obey them, even if you don’t understand. Then trust God with the results. This is similar to what you wrote in the last chapter of your book where Cori writes about something one of her friends/somewhat romantic interest from the mission trip to Ambon said, “He [Kyle] says you just have to make a choice based on what you know about God. And relax and trust for the rest of what you don’t know.” Where did this statement come from?

I think that many of the questions that Cori agonizes over during the story just don’t have clear answers (this side of heaven, anyway). This is perhaps especially true when it comes to some of those “why” questions – “Why did God allow this to happen when He could have prevented it?” Articulating and wrestling with really tough questions like this one is probably an integral part of maturing and growing as a person and as a Christian. But at some point I suspect that sitting with these questions can become a counterproductive and “stuck” sort of spinning that can lead to mental, emotional, and spiritual paralysis.

Several months after the trip, Cori was quite understandably still hurting, angry, and confused. Perhaps she wasn’t yet at the “paralyzed” stage, but there were signs that she was toying with embracing that sort of “stuckness”. As I was trying to think through what I might say to someone in her situation, as a counselor or a friend, I kept coming back to the fact that sometimes we just aren’t going to get the answers that we want to our questions. We are not going to be able to know “why”, or “what for”? I believe that acknowledging and sitting with hurt and frustration and confusion is very important. And I also believe so is knowing when to say, “OK, enough. Right now I don’t know. I can’t know. So, based on what I do know and feel to be true, what do I want to hold on to, how do I want to live, and how do I want to move forward?”

Those were some of the biggest choices I felt Cori was facing at the end of the story. I understand the temptation to stay mired in confusion and angst – I’ve given into it myself on more than one occasion. But I also do believe the words Kyle spoke to Cori are very true. At some point, at many points throughout life, you just have to make a choice based on what you do know and relax and trust God about the rest.

I agree with you dear sister. I think so often we struggle with trying to make sense of it all, that we forget we are yet but dust (Psalm 103:8-14), and God alone is omniscient and omnipotent; and rest in that truth.

Would you mind very much sharing with our readers any Scripture verse or passage that the Lord is using to impact your life right now and why?

Scripture that I’ve been really touched by lately is Ephesians 3:16-19

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

There’s just so much packed in these few short verses. I’ve been particularly struck that Paul’s prayer is that they would be strengthened with power through the Spirit so that Christ may dwell in their hearts through faith rather than the other way around. I think I’m often tempted to reverse the equation to make it look something like this, “if I’m a good enough Christian, and have enough faith, then I’ll be strengthened with power.” It’s been so freeing to be reminded that my relationship with God, doesn’t depend solely on my own efforts to “have enough faith”, and that the important power Paul is talking about here isn’t linked to “doing and accomplishing” but to understanding and experiencing the glorious mystery of the love of God!

AMEN sister! You echoed God’s words in Jeremiah 9:23-24.

 

“Thus says the LORD; “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understand and knows Me, that I am the LORD who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the LORD.”

Precious sister Lisa, thank you so much for visiting with us here at CWO! You have been a sure blessing from God, and I am confident God has used you to minister to many other sisters out there who have been and may still be grappling with the similar “faith challenges”.

I enjoyed reading my hands came away red, and look forward to reading your second novel….I mean the one that you’ll have published next. (*wink* *wink*)

To find the latest news on Lisa, read her essays and be completely blessed, please visit her at:

©2009, Sunny Shell

Find more interviews like this in Sunny Shell’s monthly column: “Sister to Sister.”


Learning to Maintain Your Weight

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid on weight loss when a reader who is tired of yoyo dieting asks, “How can I maintain?”

I read the article about you in the December 22 issue of Us Weekly Magazine. What really caught my eye was the amount of weight that you have lost since Full House ended.

For a small person like yourself 22 lbs is a lot of weight. Throughout my adult life my weight has literally been a yoyo, up one year then down the next. Every time I lose a substantial amount of weight I manage to gain most of it back within about a two year period, then I have to start all over again. At 52 years old I can’t keep on doing that all the time.

For whatever reason I have not been able to maintain my weight once I lose it. I do know what I have to do. My question to you is, how can I maintain this weight loss? I know that I have to exercise and I have started walking after dinner. My problem is that once I lose the desired weight I go back to eating.

Once I treat myself to something I can’t get back on track. I would really appreciate it if you could share some of your secrets. I really need to hear from someone who has not only had success in losing, but also in keeping the weight off.

 

Weight loss is difficult and keeping it off can be even harder! Obviously, you know how to get it off–diet and exercise. Eating the right foods is key and staying on top of exercise is equally important. Your changes need to be a way of life. It’s OK to have a dessert here and there or a side of fries once in a while, but bringing those foods back into your daily diet will cause you to gain weight back and possibly more, as you already know.

I make sure that if I’m going to indulge in some goodies, the next day I’m on top of my wholesome diet. I’m conscience of what I put into my mouth every day, although Im not obsessive about it which can be just as dangerous.

Honestly, because I’ve been eating healthy fresh foods for so long, eating anything fried or processed makes my body feel bad. It may give me a headache, make me feel tired, or even sick. I don’t like feeling that way, knowing I can feel better just by the foods I’m eating.

If you know that it’s dangerous for you to eat your favorite unhealthy foods just once, then cut them out completely. I know for some people, it’s all or nothing. If that’s you, then refrain from eating all unhealthy foods. If however, you can exhibit self control and eat sweets in moderation, I would recommend this method. The later works for me as denying myself ALL sugar would make me go crazy! I prefer knowing I can have it, but choose not to, except on occasion. That is the exercise of my fruit of the spirit (self-control)!

I would encourage you to read Darlene Schacht’s column Live Well! She so wisely helps us keep the mental aspect of eating and exercising in line with God’s word.

Renewing your mind each and every day through prayer and reading the Bible can help you get a grip on not going back to your old habits. Commit to keeping your body a holy temple. God can give you the strength to do it. It will shine inside and out when you put the right things into it, both mentally and physically.

Visit Candid Candace for more Qs & As 


Overcoming a Constant Desire for Sweets

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

A reader recently asked me how she could overcome her constant desire for sweets. It’s a good question, since it’s a struggle that many of us have tried to defeat. The way that I see it is that we can’t control the things we desire, until our hearts have been changed. Fortunately they naturally change over time so that many of the things we once enjoyed aren’t so appealing anymore, but there are some things that we develop a passion for that never seem to go away, no matter how old we get.

Take chocolate for instance. Some of us developed a weakness for chocolate in our teens and it’s plagued us ever since. For others, like me, it’s potato chips. I just can’t seem to get enough salt. I figured that by the age of 43 this chip phase would be gone, but nope—it still rears its ugly head every time the TV goes on–or when it’s off for that matter.

So how do we separate ourselves from these passions? That question would be similar to one asking “How do I run a marathon?” The answer is simple—a sensible training program will get you there. Sure you can run without training, but all you’ll manage to get is a sprint. In order to complete in a marathon, athletes must train for months or years.

In dieting, the sprint is otherwise known as the “Yo-Yo Diet.” You start off at a great pace, but soon find out that you aren’t equipped for the long run. You can barely make a mile, never mind 26.2. A few months or a year down the road, you start again with the same uncontrolled enthusiasm you had before, and once again you lose steam. If you want to achieve long term success, you must train yourself as an athlete trains for a race—no pain no gain.

Dr. Joyce Beck, author of The Complete Beck Diet for Life, often writes about strengthening our resistance muscle, which she defines as, “a psychological muscle that is strengthened by resisting the urge to eat unplanned food.” She also says, “Life becomes so much easier when your resistance muscle is strong.” If you’re looking to find motivation and change the way you think about food, Dr. Beck’s books, The Complete Beck Diet for Life and The Beck Diet Solution are a great read.

Ways to strengthen our resistance may include:

  • Passing on the junk food in the grocery store
  • Making a healthy choice when eating out
  • Passing on the goodies at group meetings
  • Taking one trip to a buffet instead of two or more
  • Eating until we’re comfortable rather than stuffed
  • Limiting treats to once or twice a week, rather than daily

Our resistance is quite weak on the first three days of a new diet plan. If we can just get past the first three days, things usually seem to get a bit easier. Again if we get past the first three weeks, we start to see the muscle is strengthened and working for us.

Does this sound like a foreign concept? Compare Hebrews 12:11-12:

At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.
So don’t sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!
–Hebrews 12:11-12, The Message

So, the answer to the question, “how could one overcome a constant desire for sweets?” is resistance training. No, it isn’t easy at first, but it does get easier the more we train ourselves to say “no.”

Saying “no” should never include a pacifier. If you’ve had enough sweets, then don’t fall into the trap that so many dieters do of purchasing low cal alternatives to squeeze a little more in. A few years back, just after I took off 40 pounds, and had maintained for a while, I decided that indulging in low-cal gelatin would be a great afternoon treat. What could it hurt?

I started to get my gelatin ready the night before (cherry is my favorite), then enjoy a large bowlful the next day, in the heat of the afternoon sun. It was working for me, until I tired of the same old afternoon treat, and started rummaging through the cupboards for something better. Pretty soon ice cream and I were bathing together in the hot summer sun, day after day.

Had I just stuck with the plan, which didn’t include an afternoon treat every day, I wouldn’t have had another bad habit to kick. A better idea would have been to plan for an occasional treat.

Imagine how our children would be if every time they cried for a cookie we handed them something sweet. Teaching our children to know when they’ve had enough is an important part of their training. It’s also a part of ours.
Learn to train yourself to eat enough, to make the best choices, and to stick to the plan. That’s how you’ll win this race!

Be strong, ladies. And until next month, Live Well!

©2009, Darlene Schacht

Find more articles on faith focussed weight loss in Darlene’s monthly column, “Live Well!”


Prayer Over Product Parenting

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

It’s 11 a.m. and Toddler’s crying. Her brother kicked her.
I rock Toddler. And recap The Big Three with guilty brother:

  • What did you do wrong?
  • Why was it wrong?
  • What are you  going to do differently in the future? 

And then, as always, The Deal:  Is that a commitment? Can I count on you? He nods, shakes my hand, hugs sniffling toddler.  

Then Daughter screams that Oldest Son stepped in her room, daughter whaps him in shoulder, Oldest Son falls to floor in Oscar winning performance. I ask daughter and son to recite memorized Phil 2:1-4. Third son wanders aimlessly around house looking for his tattered math book. Farmer Husband steps in back door asking if we can have lunch an hour early, Toddler’s paper snippets blizzard across the floor and the farm table’s buried deep under notebooks and phonics tiles.

I want to yell. I do.

Daughter shrinks back. And I can hear my mama’s voice echoing down memories halls: It’s not that you aren’t going to blow it. It’s what you do with it afterwards.
It’s 11 a.m. and it doesn’t look like I’ve done much. Comforted a Toddler, directed a few hearts. Tore a few bricks out of the foundation of my own house. Frustration wields a wrecking ball. 

Some days it’s hard not to wave a white flag in surrender. Clean: And the papers, books, Legos multiply.  Cook: And repeat, repeat, repeat. Wash the clothes; fold the clothes; stack the clothes. And watch them migrate back to the laundry basket.  Direct, disciple, delight.  A mother’s work seems like sand etches; gone with the next wave.

But don’t grains of sand carve stone?

It’s 11 a.m. and I do afterwards what I should have done more fervently before. I kneel in prayer, intentionally creating solitude in the multitude. Kneeling, I remember again Abba Paul, that desert monk who wove baskets.   Abba Paul lived too far from the city to justify traveling to sell his handiwork. Nonetheless, each day he collected palm fronds and worked faithfully. And come the end of the year, when his cave overflowed with long months of toil, he took torch to the work of his hands and the flames cackled long into the night. Come morning, Abba Paul stood in the long quiet and the wind blew away even the ashes. It didn’t look like he’d done much.

It’s 11 a.m. and I’m Abba Paul, with nothing much to show for hard toil. But are the most significant things in our lives things we can tangibly touch? Won’t the majority of our work, the laundry, the housecleaning, the meal-making, while necessary acts of service, just too burn up?
God’s Word warns, “But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward” (1 Cor. 3:13-15). 

That’s the kind of mother work to invest in: work that survives, endures. The kind of work that isn’t washed away with the next wave, isn’t tinder for the next match. But what work survives fire?  Abba Paul’s baskets didn’t. But what he wove with the baskets did: prayer.

So a mother kneels. So a mother gets up and works and prays, prays and works. Because the prayers we weave into the matching of socks, the stirring of oatmeal, the reading of stories, they survive fire. Prayer is our real, enduring work.  And aren’t the prayers of our days more important than the products of our days?   

Jesus said, “My house is a house of prayer.” And that’s the only way I can keep mine standing.

It’s 11 a.m. and I kneel to pray.

©2009, Ann Voskamp 


My Heart Treasures

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

 

“For where your treasure is,
there your heart will be also.”

Matthew 6:21

Love.  

Can you love someone before seeing them? 

Of course, as parents, we love our children as they are growing in the mothers’ womb. 

But, what about adoptive parents? Can they love a child before having a physical or emotional connection with that child, as a biological parent can? 

In my experience as being an adoptive mom twice, the answer is an unequivocal “YES!”

We knew about our first child a couple of months before she was born. The lawyer kept on cautioning us to not get our hopes up too high, but deep within my heart, I knew this child was going to be my daughter. With my maternal instincts already in place (even without the benefit of hormones), my daughter had already captured my yearning heart. I kept on thinking about the poem:

Not flesh of my flesh
Not bone of my bone
But still miraculously my own
And never forget for a minute
You were not born under my heart
But you were born in it 
~Anonymous~

I had such plans for her!  We chose her name, painted a bedroom, imagined what she would look like, and prayed for her birth mom and a safe delivery.  I kept a journal of my hopes and fears, and wrote about my growing love for her. When I first met her in the lawyer’s office, my heart was already filled with motherly love and devotion. When my eyes first met her eyes, she softly gazed at me as though she had always known me.  

Our second daughter came upon us rather unexpectedly.  Our lawyer had called us one afternoon and asked if we were ready to be parents again. We thought it was going to be another six months before another child became available, so this was quite a shock! He asked us to think about it over the weekend, but my heart was beating so quickly and already filling up with love for this new little treasure.  He cautioned us this time to really think through our decision, as this baby was biracial, and he wanted us to be aware of what could be in store for us with other people’s prejudices.  I was already aware of the issues facing us because of my professional background, and even though the issues can be very difficult to work through, I knew that we could “handle” anything, with love in our hearts and God as our strength. 

When we met our second daughter, she was in a foster home.  Her foster mom was holding her, and she was wrapped in a small blanket.  All I could see was a ton of tight black curls peeping out of the blanket, and my heart just melted. My oldest daughter, who was almost three years old at the time, walked over to her new sister, patted her on the head, and said to me “I want her, I love her, let’s take her home.” With that, our family was complete. 

Through the years, we’ve faced  many issues, but our love has held us together. We have faced highs and lows. We have overcome obstacles, and created memories.  We are a “typical” family in many regards.  The only difference in our family is that our love was created, not by nature, but by nurture. Our love was given to our children, sight unseen. Our love is based only on the miracle of life, but the miracle of another woman’s selfless sacrifice. 

We’ve been asked, “how can you love somebody else’s child?”  This question is based on fear.  Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of finding that the ability and desire to follow God’s command to “love each other as I have loved you.”  Is lacking in one’s heart.  But, as promised in 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.” Without a doubt, we have loved these daughters as if they were our “very own.”  They have been God’s gifts to us, and we treasure them deeply. Their presence in our life is a miracle, and “where there is a great love there are always miracles.” (Willa Cather) 

This Valentine’s Day, I thank God for the priceless gift he gave to me by allowing me to be “my kid’s mom.”    I thank God for His wondrous love, the love of my husband, and the love of my girls.  I thank God for the selfless love of my girls’ birthmothers.  God has provided me with treasures  to always love, to always cherish, and to always hold onto  in the quiet of my heart.   

©2009, Valerie Wolff 


Love Ya!

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

“And may the Lord make your love for one another and for all people grow and overflow, …” (Thessalonians 3:12 NLT)

There is something inexpressible about “love.”  For centuries love has been a predominant theme in poetry songs and novels.  Movies are rarely without a good love story weaved somewhere in its scenes. It seems that love in its purest forms cuts through spirit and soul. A recent post to my Facebook facebook wall says:

hi anty bonnie well we havint seen eace otherin a while well LOVE YA  

Nothing warms me more during a cold Winnipeg winter than a special note like this. Yet I ask myself, why do the words “LOVE YA” from a sweet niece means so much? As infants we accept love without question. As children we learn its value and try to measure it. Who hasn’t counted the Valentines in their box when received in school?  In adolescence we start to seek that someone special to give an abundance of love to. Once parents we discover a well of love not known before arising from new depths.    What power this “love” holds.It is no wonder Christ boiled down the commandments to two powerful commands:

  • Love God with all your heart.
  • Love your neightbor as yourself

How the world would change if we could only manage to fulfill these! Why is it that no matter how old we are–when mom makes our favorite meal it tastes better than anything the finest restaurant could serve?Why is it when we bake cookies to bring to a widow on Valentines Day, we feel more blessed than she does?Perhaps the mystery lies in the fact that God IS love. Is it possible that in giving and receiving love we are experiencing a bit of the supernatural? We experience a small portion of what our soul truly longs for–true intimacy with God?I don’t pretend to know the answers to these questions and I doubt I ever will in this life, but this one thing I know for sure.

I will press on toward the high calling of Christ by doing my utmost to follow the commandments.

I will be thankful for those God has put in my life, who love me and I will continue to foster new love to those around me.I will praise God when my husband brings me a warm cup of coffee and I will spend a little more time with my niece.As I have mentioned in previous posts, Valentine’s Day is an excellent time to remember people feeling less loved. It is a great opportunity to share something from your kitchen with others, in face sharing the Java Sticks below is a great way to say “Love Ya!”

Java Sticks
325°F              15 minutes

2c        butter
1c        brown sugar
2tsp     vanilla
4c        flour
2T        espresso coffee grounds.

Cream butter, vanilla and sugar together.  In a separate bowl mix flour with coffee grounds.  Combine all ingredients to make a ball of dough.  Press the dough into a square about ½ – ¾   inch thick.  Cut into sticks approximately 3 inches by 1 inch.Place on cookie sheet and bake at 325°F for about 15 minutes. Once cooled, dip one end of cookie in melted chocolate.  Drizzle a little extra melted chocolate on the rest of the cookie.

 

©2009, Bonnie Hooley

For more great recipes like this, visit Bonnie’s Kitchen


Wake Up Your Heart: Get Over the Burnout

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

Last month many of us made New Year’s goals (lose weight, exercise regularly be happy, save money, get organized, eat healthier), because quite honestly, we jumped at the opportunity for a fresh start. 

We love new. We want discipline. We want to wipe the slate clean–especially in the areas in which we know we’ve fallen short.

When a reader wrote me this question, it made me think that many women have experienced these exact feelings.  Because we women know how to give, and give, and give… until our hearts are burned out, especially when it comes to practicing hospitality.

Dear Sandy …

I’ve entertained for years.  No one else in our group of friends or community really does it! Oh, people say we should get together for dinner… “Let’s go out to eat…,” but no one opens up their homes for the real deal. I think I have adopted this really sad thought process that goes like this, “Well if no one else is going to make the effort why should I?”

Is there such a thing as a burned out hospitable heart?

Now my heart is hurting, after reading her heartfelt question. Yes, there is such a thing as a burned out hospitable heart.  And this question makes me think of the more painful resolutions that women might have made over a month ago, ones like these–that hit you to the core!

  • Stop procrastinating
  • Make new or more friends
  • Live instead of existing
  • Be more confident
  • Make a difference
  • Be a better friend
  • Live passionately
  • Be more social
  • Worry less

The recurring theme of these resolutions include people–and fear!

It’s all good
We’ve had the parties–dinners, barbeques, birthday celebrations, showers and going-away parties. We know we are to live, share, give and to feed others. That is what hospitality is all about! That is what living is all about! You plan the menu, use your creativity for setting a perfect table, think of the perfect guest list, you have every detail figured out from party-favors down to the relaxation by the fire at the end of the evening.

And then it’s over
And then something happens–BAM!  Life around you changes, you live in a painful “empty nest” world or you’ve hit rock bottom. Your hormones have gone haywire, and more painfully–you might be dealing with some “trust” issues with family or friends. Life is just exhausting and you have no energy. You’ve been betrayed or a relationship sours.

It’s over!  And as quickly as love grew in your heart to reach out to those around you, the love has ended.  Your heart is wounded–you are finished.  You have nothing more to give or offer.

It’s okay to take time off
I’ve always believed in seasons of practicing hospitality.  It’s tough to give of yourself when you’re going through a rough patch, or have little kids under your feet, or your marriage is failing or you’ve lost a love one. Giving to others needs to come in a season of our lives when our spirit is right.

There was a season where my husband and I lost 3 of our parents. It was painful and exhausting. I’ve also taken the pressure off of myself when I had my babies, or when life has just been stressful in general–I’ve given in simpler ways to others. I’ve not put expectations on myself and overcomplicated what should be enjoyable!  I’ve loved it when my friends waited on me during these seasons of life!

Get back the love
Intimacy with one another often means leaving our comfort zones!  It also means practicing forgiveness for our hurts. When we feel hurt inside, do we just assume that it’s “ok” to feel this way, or do we check it out first?  I read recently that 90% of anger in our hearts stems from frustrated plans or bruised egos.

It tells us that it’s okay to be ticked off, and then it tells us that we don’t have to forgive (because that person really doesn’t deserve it, right?) 

Don’t make Problem Soup
Did you know that God says He will never give us more than we can bear? I think at times we make what my husband and I call Problem Soup out of situations – as in we read in too much, or we let fear consume us, or we mumble-jumble too many issues together–making one big pot of Problem Soup.

Forgive and move on
Forgiving and moving on from past hurts has one cure:  Grace. It’s beautiful and it’s free. It’s refreshing and it overflows to those around us, including our guests. It covers up our pain and it’s something that we can never get enough of! Maybe the damaged relationship will no longer be the same, but neither does it need to be filled with animosity.

Start small
Think of one act of kindness to do for another person. If you don’t want to invite someone into your home, ask someone to join you in a safe place. Forge a new relationship. Start over again! We are to share with God’s people who are in need!

Bring people in
You don’t have to do it all. Remember the power of delegation when having guests over for dinner. Bring people in to help you out–to contribute. By doing it all yourself, you might be taking away another person’s blessing!

Heart transplant
Relationships don’t just happen. They have to be nurtured and loved and protected. We want to be loved.  We want more from each other.  We need healing and grace. 

We long for soul connection.  It is possible to open your heart again to hospitality.

This Valentine’s month, I challenge you to have a heart-transplant if this is something you struggle with. 

How about embracing a brand new couple? Or encouraging a lonely single friend? With love and not expecting anything in return, see if by your giving out you get something in return?

It might be the most fruitful Valentine’s month you’ve ever had!

Feel free to Ask Sandy … on her blog, www.reluctantentertainer.com, and read more about this subject and other entertaining dilemmas.

©2009, Sandy Coughlin


Finances: A love Story

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

When my husband and I first got married, discussing finances was something best avoided at all costs. Money was a necessary evil, something to be endured when bill paying time rolled around, but not thought of much beyond that. I would have never guessed that 17 years later, discussing finances would become a major part of our love story. I could never have realized the value that would come from learning to talk about money, sharing our goals and dreams for our financial future, and becoming a united front in the never-ending challenge of managing our family’s money.

Does this sound impossible to you?

It did to me as well, once upon a time. My husband Curt and I could not talk about money—even in the simplest terms—without a fight ensuing. We were drowning in debt and ill-equipped to approach money discussions from a positive place. Fighting was guaranteed. I dodged financial discussions with the finesse of a ballroom dancer: pivot, dip, glide. After all, if you can avoid the discussion, you can avoid the problem, right?

Not true. While we continued to avoid talking, the problems kept piling up. Finally one night in a dark car in a parking lot, we started talking in a way that wasn’t loaded with accusation, dripping with blame, and hedging on defensiveness. We were $95,000 dollars in debt, including multiple credit cards, two cars, and student loans we had carried our entire marriage. God met us there in that car and began breaking down the barriers that existed between us, leading us out of our respective corners and into a middle ground that started us talking. That night we began to work out a plan that would take us four years and a lot of commitment to see through. 

During those four years there was lots of temptation to fall apart instead of come together. We had to work towards a common goal, walking the path laid out for us together instead of each going our own way and just hoping we ended up in the same place. Learning to communicate about money in an effective way has been huge for our marriage. Here are some tips we learned:

  • Your spouse is not your enemy. Identify your enemy and focus on that enemy together as a team that is united by a common goal. (Ephesians 6:12) Don’t let your enemy divide you and thereby gain the victory. When troubles and setbacks arise (as they will), pray for a united heart and the wisdom and clarity to handle the problem together.
  • One spouse doesn’t get to just “check out” about the finances. The person who pays the bills shouldn’t have to shoulder that burden alone. Working together is imperative and knowing what is going on with your finances is actually—believe it or not—fun!
  • Set regular times to plan, plot and assess. For Curt and I, that is usually on a lazy Saturday morning while the kids are playing and we sit in our kitchen over big steaming mugs of coffee. We have found that two heads really are better than one and having more than one perspective is wise. I never fail to walk away from these times refreshed and hopeful over what God has done, and what He continues to do in the life of our family.
  • Find ways to communicate based on your unique situation. Regular communication is necessary, but with six kids, ministry duties, and my husband’s demanding full-time job, that can be difficult. We have found it best to touch base about finances through emails. My husband pays the bills but sends me updates so I know how much is left in certain budget categories based on what is being spent on an ongoing basis.  While this doesn’t substitute for sitting down and talking things out, it is a realistic solution for our busy day-to-day life.
  • Don’t use money as a way to control the other person. I struggle with wanting to know too much now (as opposed to once believing that “ignorance is bliss”) and can sometimes make my husband feel like I don’t trust him or am micro-managing him based on my need to know. In every conversation, temper your words with kindness and respect. If you feel yourself getting angry or accusatory, pray before you go to your spouse. Choose to believe the best about your spouse and trust God to make that happen.
  • Reward yourselves from time to time with a fun date night out. Set reachable goals and build in some money for a sitter once those goals are met. Make sure you are still having fun and talking about other things besides money all the time! This is a time to celebrate your accomplishments, not wring your hands about the future. These times along the way keep things fun and refreshed in your marriage and not “all business.”
  • Give together. The blessings of giving along the way will unite you in a way that is contrary to what makes sense in our scope of understanding. It might not make sense in the natural, but it is wise to build a plan for giving into your plan for living financially free. Besides, it is just plain fun to give to your church or to a family in need.  My husband and I love to scheme about giving now—something I never thought would happen in a million years!

Years ago, I would have told you that finances have nothing to do with love. Now I know that money is a big part of our lives—and a big part of our love story. Getting in the ring and fighting for our financial future has united us in vision. Learning how to talk about money in a productive way has helped us learn to talk about other difficult situations. Knowing we conquered our mountain of debt together has made us stronger as a couple. And that, as they say, is priceless.

©2009, Marybeth Whalen 


Light of the World

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

I love that my husband doesn’t argue with me when I ask for things. This morning, while I was sipping coffee and correcting Tera’s math, he slipped me a folded sheet of paper. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

In the span of time that it took for me to reach for and take and open that slip of paper, the six-year old girl in me elbowed her way to the forefront. I felt a little bit Christmas morning and a little bit August 5th, all blended up. I felt shivery like I used to when someone handed me a box wrapped up in cartoonish, primary colored paper.

A lantern … Dave had bought a kerosene lantern. “It will go to a missionary,” he explained.

“It’s perfect,” I told him. And it feels perfect. How absolutely appropriate. Somewhere across the ocean, someone sent by God to share His light with the world will have a bit of light for nighttime reading, or to help with the long walk between villages.

I couldn’t have asked for anything better. Truth be told, I like chocolate as much as the next woman. Maybe more. But I’ve decided that I can live without another red boxful. I’m pretty fond of sweet peas and daisies, and have yet to turn up my nose at a bouquet of roses. But I can live without flowers. So instead, I asked my husband to forego the mad dash to the florist or the candy aisle. I gave him a faster, easier option (just the click of a mouse). I asked him to get me something that contains no calories, leaves nothing to recycle, and that will provide a much more satisfying feeling than anything he could buy from a store.

I asked him to go instead to Gospel for Asia (www.gfa.org/donation). The way it works is that you browse through a large assortment of items and decide on what you’d like to buy. You can purchase chickens or rabbits ($11 a pair), pigs ($55 a pair), goats ($60 each) lambs ($65 each), cows ($375 each) or a big ol’ $460 water buffalo. You can also buy a bicycle or a fully loaded truck for a missionary, Bibles, blankets, tracts, sewing machines, fishing boats, or a community well. Whatever you buy on the site is then given to an impoverished family or a missionary.

Just one set of chickens or rabbits can completely change a family’s future. As that one pair grows into several, a cottage industry is born–and the family’s food supply is multiplied. I’m so impressed with this ministry that it’s become my “go to” gift site. Now, whenever I’m asked, “What do you want for your birthday? (or Mother’s Day, or Christmas, or Valentine’s Day), I quickly answer, “Something from Gospel for Asia.”

I love my husband’s gift. But it makes me greedy for more. I want to buy a bicycle, or a drum set. I want another goat. I want a sewing machine and a giant pile of blankets, and I want some of the big stuff. I want a Jesus Well, and a fishing boat, and a house.

I am Veruca Salt this morning. I want, I want, I want … and I want it now.

©2009, Shannon Woodward 


10 Ideas for Creating a Romantic Room

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

Wishing you could escape on a romantic getaway? How about creating an escape right in your own home! A bedroom is the place where we begin and end each day. It should be a romantic, relaxing and restful space, but without regular TLC a bedroom easily turns into a clutter storage facility. With a little inspiration and attention, you can reclaim your bedroom as the most peaceful room in the house.

Here are 10 ideas for creating a romantic and restful sanctuary:

  1. Remove Clutter
    Start by removing as many things from the room as you can. Clutter is the enemy of a peaceful bedroom.
  2. Hide Electronics
    Keep electronic gadgets including electric clocks concealed if it all possible.
  3. Mood Lighting
    Good reading lights are a must for ambience and nighttime reading. Avoid using overhead lighting. Install dimmers and three way switches to create the perfect mood.
  4. Beautiful Bedding
    Invest in good quality attractive bedding. While we strive to keep public rooms attractive, it is easy to let the master bedroom suffer. Discount stores often have great deals on discontinued quality bedding; have fun mixing and matching what you find!
  5. Closed Storage
    Bedside tables are clutter magnets. Consider closed storage cabinets for visual serenity and covered boxes for tabletop necessities.
  6. Sparkling Clean
    Give your room a good cleaning. Wipe down light switches, doorframes & doors, headboards, furniture, windowsills and floors. Clean windows. Wash curtains, bedding and bed skirts. Clean under the bed.
  7. Scrumptious Scents
    Freshen the air with good smelling candles.
  8. Make Bed Daily
    Commit to making the bed as soon as your feet hit the floor–and keep it from being buried in clutter all day. Enjoy being able to crawl into bed at night without having to fold six loads of laundry to find your pillow!
  9. Soothing Music
    Create your own play list of soothing music.
  10. Privacy
    Teach your children and household members to respect your privacy when the door is shut. You should be able to shut the door and block out the world now and then!

“Many waters cannot quench love, Nor will rivers overflow it; If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love, It would be utterly despised.” –New American Standard Bible

Melissa Michaels shares inspiration for creating a beautiful life & home at The Inspired Room.

©2009, Melissa Michaels


February’s Buzz on Books

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

Oswald Chambers said, “The springs of love are in God, not in us. It is absurd to look for the love of God in our hearts naturally; it is only there when it has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit.”  This month the focus is on love; we can love because He first loved us (I John 4:19).  Christian love is a gift from God, demonstrated in the cross. 

This month in Book Buzz Marion Stroud in Dear God, It’s Me and It’s Urgent enriches our prayer life, Denise Hunter’s Sweetwater Gap and Tracie Peterson’s A Promise to Believe In each remind us that God loves us despite our imperfections.  Wherever you find yourself this February, remember God is crazy in love with you, warts and all!

Sweetwater Gap
By Denise Hunter
Thomas Nelson
304pages

Josie has spent her life running away from Shelbyville.  Even her father’s funeral could not bring Josie back home to face the memories she was running away from.  It took a call from Nate, her brother in law, informing her that Josie’s sister Laurel was pregnant with twins and he needed help with the family apple orchard.  If the apples were not harvested, Nate and Laurel could lose everything.

Josie’s love for her sister brought her back home to Shelbyville and back to the place she had been running from.  Josie knew everyone in small town Shelbyville, but when she returned she was introduced to handsomely rugged Grady, the orchard manager.   

Grady was well liked and respected around Shelbyville, but he was upset when Josie had been called in to help.  After all, he viewed Josie as a person who ran away from her family.  As the harvest season arrives and Laurel’s pregnancy progresses, so does the relationship Josie and Grady are trying to avoid.

Grady discovers Josie is struggling with an illness that she has kept hidden from her family.  While Josie fights to ignore her symptoms, which she believes she rightly deserves, Grady ends up fighting for Josie life.

Denise Hunter does a beautiful job of showing God’s unconditional love, even when we turn away from Him.  Sweetwater Gap captured me by the first page and had me soaking in the beautiful scent of apple orchards and small town life.  

A Promise to Believe In
By Tracie Peterson
Bethany House
364 pages

While growing up the Gallatin sisters never had a place to call home.  It was not until recently their father settled down and they began to make a home for themselves in Montana.  Their father and the three daughters managed a roadhouse at the crossroads of two stagecoach lines.  Suddenly their father is killed and the oldest daughter Gwen believes it is all her fault.  Gwen says she is cursed and harm comes to anyone she loves.

While keeping the roadhouse in operation an unexpected visitor looking for his brother turns Gwen’s life upside down.  Lacy is determined to find who is responsible for her father’s death and Beth is trying to protect Gwen from this new unexpected visitor.  Does Gwen dare fall in love again?  And is she cursed?

A Promise to Believe In  is the first book in a new series called Brides of Gallatin.  Book one is Gwen’s story.  Each of the sisters had me laughing out loud and sometimes crying; I can not wait to read Beth and Lacy’s story.  Tracie Peterson does a beautiful job in bringing each of her characters to life and reminding us of the hardships of 19th century life.   

Dear God, It’s Me and It’s Urgent
By Marion Stroud
Discovery House Publishers
211 pages

Dear God, It’s Me and It’s Urgent is a beautifully written prayer book for every woman’s season of life.  Many times when life is spinning we fail to find the right words to offer up in prayer.  Marion Stroud does a wonderful job enriching our prayer life, while drawing us closer to God. 

These are prayers that help us manage the clutter that surrounds our life, tantrums we experience, life changes such as weddings, to the various seasons of a woman’s life.  Dear God, It’s Me and It’s Urgent  helps us keep our perspective on where it should be during these trials of life.

©2009, Lori Kasbeer

Lori ’s personal blog can be found at Lori’s Reflections and additional book reviews at Lori’s Book Reviews

 


Setting Boundaries – Gaining SANITY: Money is Not the Answer

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

This is month two in our twelve month series on Setting Boundaries and Gaining SANITY. Last month, we discussed the importance of learning how to rest…to be still and know God in a more intimate way. In order to do that, many boomer babes must learn how and when to say, “No.” God does not require us to be everything to everyone. His desire is for us to have an intimate and meaningful relationship with His Son. In order to do that, we must spend quiet time in the Word of God. This isn’t always easy for us boomer babes, is it? By the time we’ve reached this point in life, many of us have habits that are hard to break. Hard—but not impossible, SANITY is possible.

It’s no secret that our country is experiencing a financial crisis. Depending on who you consult, the reasons for this situation are varied, and the outcome is unknown. However, if we look to the Word of God, we can clearly see an historic pattern from which we can learn. Whenever people put money and social status before God, the walls of pseudo safety eventually crumbled on top of them.

Matthew 6:20-22 (NIV)

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

This passage takes on new meaning when all around us the destruction of financial decay is evident. Many baby boomers have suddenly found themselves in positions they could never have envisioned. Struggling financially, and losing more than just money. Many boomers are losing jobs, homes, marriages, and stability. They are being rocked to the core. Yet through the ashes we can see people of faith and vision rise up. We can see, first hand, what it means to actually walk the talk of someone who believes that God will make a way when there truly seems to be no way.

Quite simply, it’s not about how much money we have or don’t have. It’s about how willing we are to place our trust in God. We’ve grown uncontrollably in ways that are spiritually unhealthy, and we are no longer bearing the kind of fruit needed to further the kingdom. It’s time for considerable pruning. The Master Gardner is at work and I am trusting that the season will come again when we experience the lush crop of God’s glory. Our challenge during this time of divine pruning is to sink our roots deeper, and to grow in relationship with Him.

Pruning is painful but profitable. James tells us this in James 1:2-4.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Until next month, dear Boomer Babes who Rock, may the good Lord bless and keep you all!

©2009, Allison Bottke

Allison Bottke
www.SettingBoundaries.com
www.BoomerBabesRock.com


A Valentine Beauty Fix

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

You just picked up the kids from school and you’re rushing to get to baseball practice. The cell phone rings, and your husband informs you that the boss and his wife will be joining you both for dinner tonight. Oh, and did I mention it’s Valentines Day!

As you hang up, you catch a glimpse of yourself. Slowly maneuvering the rearview mirror towards your reflection, a stifled yelp comes out–not because of the horn blowing when the light turned green, but from the ‘reflection revelation’.

“Excuse me, Mr. Horn blower; I’m having a crisis here. I’ve got roots so deep it looks as if Moses parted the red sea on the top of my head, the bags under my eyes look as if I haven’t slept for days, and there’s an extra five pounds that have found there way to my thighs. What I need is a miracle!

All of a sudden you hear trumpets. Could that be an angel? My guardian beauty angel? No, it’s the car behind Mr. Horn blower making his horn musical debut. We’ve all been there to some degree. The good news is there is a quick fix for this beauty dilemma and it won’t break your bank account.

Today, we’re going to:

  • Get those puffy eyes gone in one minute
  • Repair the hair color in five minutes
  • Lose five pounds instantly, and
  • Get a mini-face lift

The root of the problem, your roots
Not all of us have the luxury of getting into the hairdresser with a moment’s notice, so thankfully there are beauty supply stores and eyeshadow!

I’ve found a product by Oscar Blondi (touch up stick) which can be found at Sephora or Amazon.com; it’s not organic but does not have ammonia or peroxide in it. Or…you can do the super cheap way and apply mineral eye shadow (the shade of your hair) to your roots with a sponge applicator. It really does work! With no time to wash your hair, grab some baby wipes or you can dab toner with a cotton ball on your scalp (it removes the oil). Voila! Clean hair. :)

Need a Lift!
There is a cream out there called Athena 7 (7minutelift.com) and it’s filled with herbal ingredients and peptides. What this will do for your skin–it gives a temporary lift for about ten hours! A bit pricy at $89.00 however it will last for six months (cheaper and safer than Botox).

Here is your DIY version:

  • Whip up some egg whites, apply following the facial muscles or upward strokes
  • Let set for 20 minutes, remove with warm water
  • Refresh with a spritz of rose water

Puffy Eyes No More
Here’s a fast solution for those puffy eyes, place two spoons in the freezer, wait ten minutes and place the back side of the spoon on each eye for a few minutes.

Another way to eliminate puffy eyes–apply cold moistened tea bags (green or chamomile) over your eyes for ten minutes and remove. Next, hydrate the under eye area with an eye cream that has aloe vera, chamomile or eyebright in it. Then use a concealer that has a salmon or peach tint to it to counteract the shadows casted from the puffy eyes.

Shed those five pounds
We’ve already determined that you don’t have the time to sit in a sauna all day and fast. Instead head to the department store and buy controlled hosiery that slims and tones your thighs and belly about one size. Some to try are; Barely There, Jockey, Bodywrap, Miracle suit and Spanx (most expensive).  Slip on your Miracle suit and don’t feel at all guilty about the dessert you’ll be having tonight as you impress your husband.

This day as all of our days are suppose to be about loving each other and our Father in heaven. I was recently reminded at a meeting; this wise woman said, “if 80% of your marriage is good and 20% not so good, shouldn’t you be focusing on the 80%?”

I love this excerpt taken from LeAnn Weiss-Rupard’s heartfelt newly released book Valentine Promises:

My stressed child, Remember that every good and perfect gift you’ll ever receive is really a blessing from me. It’s true… finding a wife is a good thing and leads favor with me! Enjoy the power of togetherness. You’ll find that two are better than one. Companionship helps, especially during bumps of life. And with Me at the center of your friendship, your relationship won’t easily unravel under pressure.

Uniting you,

Your Divine Author of Love

(James 1:17, Proverbs 18:22, Ecclesiastes 4:19-12)

©2009, Shelly Ballestero 


Once a Parent Always a Parent

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 


Don’t worry about anything. Instead pray about everything.  Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.  If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.
–Philipians 4:6 (NLT)

At this time of the year when love is on our minds, I think of my children. Of all the people I’ve treasured in life and all the individuals I’ve cared for, I’ve never known greater love for any living thing than I do for my kids. When my daughter was born I changed so completely, it took me by surprise.  I went from a self-involved workaholic to a doting, over-protective mother. As any parent is aware- that need to safeguard and shield a child never leaves us. Mother was still trying to take care of me at the age of eighty-five! Now I understand the saying, “once a parent, always a parent.”

Meagan has been a particularly stimulating child even from the day she took her first step. Her body clock was wound tightly, and her engine never seemed to need a rest.  She could doze for a fifteen minute nap and hit the floor running for the next four to five hours. A human Energizer Bunny!

When she was five, she decided to hide in the local Target store, and Jim and I were absolutely frantic.  After fifteen minutes, we had the front doors closed and locked and brought in the security guards and numerous personnel to find our wayward daughter. Thoughts of abduction flooded my mind with fear as we searched every nook and cranny in that huge mega facility. After a full thirty minutes, and many hysterical tears, she leaped from one of the overly crowded rounders in the women’s clothing department and gleefully shouted, “Mommy, Mommy, you can’t find me!” This was a precursor of things to come…

Meg’s idea of fun is to push every button and to crash through barriers. She is a dare-devil in every sense of the word, completely fearless about things that would normally frighten ordinary people.  She loves to drive fast and has several speeding tickets to prove it.  Our day in court before the judge was very sobering…at least for me.  I believe Meg thought of it as just another adventure!

Selling her car, taking away the computer and shutting down her cell phone have been necessary disciplinary measures for my adventurous child.  And even then–she seems to find ways around what she views as mere inconveniences. I’ve never met anyone more resourceful. I have every confidence that one day she will somehow channel all that wily ingenuity, and there’s simply no telling what she will accomplish.

During those sleepless nights when I’m tossing and turning, waiting to hear her key in the door- I remind myself of all the amazing things God has done for my audacious and daring child.  Like the time she flipped the new four-wheeler at her Uncle Richard’s farm and it landed full weight on top of her.  She walked away without a scratch.  Or, the time she developed a systemic kidney infection, due to the fact that she pushed herself to the point of exhaustion. She had a temperature that escalated to 107 degrees, and the infection was so wide-spread we thought we might lose her. I sat by her bed in the emergency room for hours, holding her hot and fevered hand until she once again became coherent.  Thankfully, God and some wonderful doctors, intervened on her behalf.  Of course, there were bike crashes and car accidents–all which could have left her seriously impaired. But, God was always there to look out for her, when I couldn’t.

The boyfriends I haven’t been comfortable with, the parties she doesn’t think I know about, and the endless array of other worldly concerns mothers share, keep me on my knees before God as my daughter travels this unhurried road to maturity.

Meagan is my steady lesson in maintaining peace. There have been times that I’ve been absolutely despondent over her choices and I’ve felt it had to be some flaw in me, some shortcoming in my parenting skills that caused her deliberate behavior.  I’ve wanted to go back in time and do things differently–to offer more comfort, more of my time, less of my criticism, more of my compassion. I think parents often blame themselves for the perilous roads their children choose to travel. No doubt, I have made mistakes and I wish I could rectify them, but time is not a gift that can be recaptured.  All we have is this moment.  And in this moment, I choose to be thankful for those beautiful gifts I recognize in my amazing child.

From the time she was talking, she’d stop me from stepping on a tiny ant on the sidewalk–feeling sympathy for its lowly estate and right to life. Her contagious laughter brings a smile to the face of anyone who hears it. Her zest for life makes the dreariest day come alive and sparkle. She can kick a soccer ball with such intensity and drive; it makes me want to shout at the top of my lungs. Her loyalty toward the friends in her life is something truly admirable, and it offers me great peace to know these gifts are resident within her, an endowment from the hand and heart of God.

I know I have trained her up in the reliable and constant ways of the Lord.  So when I hear that little voice in the Target store calling out to my heart, “Mommy, Mommy, you can’t find me!” I have immeasurable peace in the knowledge that God always knows exactly where my beautiful Meagan is, and He will always be there to guide her toward the right path, one step at a time.

©2009, Tamra Nashman 


Jesus Loves Mommies

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 


I was utterly exhausted. Our toddler, Jackson, had been waking up in the middle of the night for weeks, and my system was totally out of whack. When we tried to let Jax “cry it out,” even for just two minutes, he got so upset that he actually threw up.

Talk about frustrating! I tried putting music in his room, giving him a teddy bear, even sleeping with him–nothing seemed to work.
Whatever the reasons, he got into the habit of “night-waking.” He wasn’t my first child, but I was at the end of my rope. There wasn’t even a pinhole of light at the end of my tunnel.

I didn’t know what to do.

One day, after very few hours of sleep, I got the two of us ready for a moms’ support group at our church, where there was free childcare (Hallelujah!). During the meeting, I mustered up the nerve to confess the problem I was having. Then another member asked me in a haughty tone, “So what’s the problem? I’d let him throw up. I like my sleep!”

After I got over the shock, I calmly said, “How interesting.” But I was seething. In my mind, I stood up, leaned over Mom-zilla and said, “I don’t want my baby to choke on his puke, woman! And I like my sleep, too. That’s the WHOLE STINKING POINT.”

I’ve gotten over the incident nicely, as you can tell.

Then one night during that period of time, as I was rocking the little guy to sleep, I inserted his name into “Jesus Loves the Little Children” and sang, “Jesus loves the little Jacksons, all the Jacksons of the world…” I had done the same with my now-seven year-old. Like all children, they loved hearing their names.
On this particular night, Jackson began asking me to insert other names into the song, like his cousin Molly’s, or his brother Jordan’s. And then he asked me to put my name in the song. And of course, to him my name is “Mommy.” So, to please him, I sang, “Jesus loves the little mommies, all the mommies of the world…”

And I begin to think, “Yes, that’s right! Jesus loves all the mommies, like me.” I smiled as I remembered that in my fatigue and discouragement, Jesus loved me the same as He always had.
I continued singing, “Every color, every race,” and I thought of all the moms across the world rocking their babies and singing to them at that very moment. I realized once again what a privilege it was to be in the mommy-hood, even when it meant getting up at all hours. (At least I knew there were mommies in other time zones that were awake when I was!)

Looking at my baby, I felt a new kinship with my heavenly Father as He reminded me of Zephaniah 3:17: “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

What an awesome thought! He knows how we love our children and pour ourselves out for them, because He loves us even more—and He poured Himself out for us on the cross.

As I finished the song by singing, “All are covered by His grace,” I prayed, Thank you, Jesus, for loving mommies. Thank you for Your love that surrounds us when we are scared, Your grace that covers us when we make mistakes, and Your strength that sustains us when we are weak.

I put my child to bed (at least for a few hours) as a final thought crossed my mind: just like moms, God is always “on call.”
Now that’s a comforting thought!

©2009, Dena Dyer 


Jill Hart Chats with Christina DiMari

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

This month, Jill Hart chats with Christina DiMari. Christina is an inspirational speaker and writer who has a passion to help other’s pursue God’s unique plan for their lives. She uses her love for art, photography, and writing to draw inspiration and illustrations from a place that had great meaning in her own life–the ocean. She uses her passions for creatively and writing to bring healing, inspiration and life directions to both young and young-at-heart girls.

Christina wanted to use her platform to shine a light for the younger generation of girls coming up the road behind her. She holds fun inspirational workshops called, You’re Designed to Shine, on beaches around the country where young women can gather no matter what their age or background or what stage of life they are in. With the use of integrating art, creativity, sand, sticks, waves and lots of laughter, Christina encourages the girls to become the young women God designed them to be.

Now that the Bible Study/Life Journal, You’re Designed to Shine, is available, girls all over the world are hosting their own small groups and using the material to shine the lessons Christina teaches at her events to the girls in their own communities. The events Christina continues to do are now also being used to encourage the Pearl Girls who want to lead their own groups and its a wonderful way for the girls to get to know each other and be encouraged.

MP3 File

 

©2009, Jill Hart 


Host a Purse Swap Party

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

 

I discovered the unique idea of purse swapping while visiting Purses and Such, and being the purse fanatic at I am, I decided to further investigate.

What I found was a fantastic idea for women’s ministry groups! And I knew that I had to share it with all of you ladies.

We’re always looking for something different to bring to our meetings, right ladies? We’ve tried the fashion shows, bonnet contests, dessert nights–I’ve even carried toilet rolls between my knees en route to a plunger. I think maybe it’s time we step out of the box, and consider a fresh idea this year.

Who wouldn’t enjoy the chance to have fun, while taking home a new purse?

Mary Hess of Purses and Such said that her husband, Shannon, came up with the purse swap idea when he noticed that Mary and a friend had a personal swap on their own.

“Wow!” He said. “You should start purse swapping with your friends once a month–like a party–that would save me some money.”

There’s a sensitive man, and a smart thinker! :)

July 2007, purse swapping began…. How does it work? Each lady brings 2 or 3 handbags to the party; everyone draws numbers and takes turns choosing a new purse. The key is to encourage women to swap purses that they are currently willing to still carry, otherwise you start getting junk and it’s not fair to the women who bring in nice stuff and walk away with something that’s not so great. But if everyone brings purses to the swap that they are currently carrying but have simply grown tired of, then everyone walks away with a new great new bag!

Visit Purses and Such for the rules and how-to’s on hosting your own purse swap party. Enjoy each other’s fellowship, and have fun!

 


February’s Blog of the Month – LauraLee’s Lifesong

Sunday, February 1st, 2009

Each month CWO chooses one blogger from our list of over 4,000 women to be CWO’s blog of the month.

This month’s pick is LauraLee from LauraLee’s Lifesong

LauraLee describes herself by saying, “My lifesong is composed by Jesus Christ. Though I always long to be in tune with Him, I struggle to stay on key as consistently as I desire. My patient husband of eighteen years and my three children have their hands full with this artistic personality running the household, but I love them so much and am constantly asking my Lord to help me love them more deeply like He does. I pray that the ditties He lays on my heart through this blog will strike a beautiful God-chord within all those who read it.”

Visit LauraLee at her blog: