Sex Before Marriage

Hi Candace. I’m from Indonesia. I remember that I liked to watch Full House when I was a kid, and now I’m 27 years old. 🙂

I was surprised when I Googled your name and found out that you are Christian, and that you have a website that shares your experience with God.

I want to ask you a question, what do you think about sex before marriage? Is it a sin? Please tell me your opinion about this. Thank you.

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Thanks so much for your question—I’m excited to get one from Indonesia!

Do I think sex that before marriage is a sin? Yes I do, because the Bible teaches so. Starting with creation, God made man and woman. One of the purposes was to procreate. “Be fruitful and increase in number” (Genesis 1:28). He also wanted them to have an intimacy with one another, and sex was a tool to do that. Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

In the Old Testament, many scriptures talk about remaining a virgin before marriage. There is much written about this subject in the Levitical law. The New Testament goes on to talk about it as well. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own”. Also, Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”.

The seventh commandment says “You shall not commit adultery”. Most of us assume adultery is only having sex outside of marriage. But Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Adultery starts within our hearts, and remember that God is a judge of our heart. That’s a high standard to hold up, considering most of us can look at an attractive person and immediately have sexual thoughts about them.

But that’s why Jesus came to save. He saves us from all our sin, because not one of us can keep His high standard. We are forgiven at the foot of the cross. At the place of grace we need to learn God’s Word and right from wrong.

Because the world has a skewed view of sex, marriage, and relationships, it’s seems like such a tall order to keep from having sex before marriage—and it is! It’s seems backwards from what the world says, and yet it’s what the Bible clearly teaches.

I know how blessed you will be to wait until your married, regardless of whether you’ve had sex before or not. You can always make a change RIGHT NOW. Pray about this subject, and talk to God about it. If you desire a deeper relationship with God, being obedient to His Word is where you need to start. There are also several great books out there that can help you understand why it’s important to wait, and also give you the encouragement and the scriptures to do so.

Many blessings in your journey,