Hi, I need prayer. I want to move from where we live, and it’s just not God’s timing I guess.

Traditionally, people have chosen May as the month to honor and celebrate mothers. My children like to show their love by purchasing perenials at the local nursery. My youngest struggles to carry the biggest trays he can find, while my daughter looks for the brightest shades of pink, hoping to Barbie up the yard a shade or two.

I like to honor my own mother by taking time out of my day to visit with her. I’ll often bring flowers for the garden too, since it’s a hobby we both have in common. And while I’m there I might dig a hole or two out back so she can easily sink them in.

Time spent with loved ones serves to remind us how precious they are. And from that, just how precious our Father is for this gift of love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
~I Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

Check out all of the wonderful devotions we have this month including Sunny Shell’s interview with Chonda Pierce in Sister 2 Sister. There you can enter to win a copy of Chonda’s “This Ain’t Prettyville” DVD that she’s giving away to two of our readers.

Blessings,

Founder and Editor,
Christian Women Online Magazine
“Uniting Women of Faith”

Read my column—Live Well!
My blog: Darlene Schacht.com

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid with a reader who hopes to win her husband to Christ.

I am married to an unbeliever. He and I got together real young, had a kid, and for the most part are very compatible with each other . The only problem is that I’m a new Christian trying to strengthen my faith, and he’d rather not discuss the topic of God, as he has had it rough growing up, and tends to use that as an excuse.

My question is, where do I go from here? I want my son in a strong Christian environment. For the most part, my husband is okay with me teaching him about God, taking him to church and praying.  He just doesn’t cooperate.

As his wife, I don’t want to force anything on him at all. And I know I have to deal with the natural consequences of marrying a non believer, but my house WILL serve the Lord!

We watched Fireproof last night, and I got the message. Maybe I should just worry about myself, and my faith in God, and hope that he sees Christ through me.

But I’m scared we will grow apart even more. We have free will; God wants us to willingly love Him. I just don’t want to be overbearing. He has major anxiety, and I seriously feel like we’re living in two different worlds lately. I hate watching him suffer with anxiety and not being able to do anything about it.

Yes, you can ask questions like this. I’m happy to recommend some things I think will help.

Neither my husband nor I cared much about God when we got married. Although we both had a basic belief in God, I became a true Christian before my husband. I prayed for his salvation for 2 years until I saw the fruit of those answered prayers when he gave his life to the Lord.

I’m glad you are asking these questions because that means you’re willing to seek answers and make some changes to your family life.  Could you and your husband grow apart because of the lack of union in Christ? Yes, it’s possible, but God also give a promise to wives concerning their unbelieving husbands.

1 Peter 3:1-2 - Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Do you see the promise? If your husband does not believe the Word (that is, the bible, or Jesus himself) he may be won over (brought to Christ) without words (not by you saying a bunch of things to him) but by the behavior of their wife (your conduct), when he (your husband) sees the purity and reverence of your life (your spirit in Christ when you honor and reverence your husband).

Start praying for your husband’s salvation today and every day until it comes. Hold on to God’s promise and don’t let up no matter how difficult it gets. It is not wrong for you to obey your husband and have him lead your home even if he is an unbeliever as long as he isn’t asking you to sin. And I’m not talking about legalistic sins like when he’d rather take you and your son to the park and play on Sunday morning instead of going to church.  Go ahead and do that… being happy for the special time you’ll have together as a family.

It’s a wonderful thing that your husband doesn’t give you a hard time when teaching your son about Jesus or going to church. Be thankful for that! Take the season you’re in now to grow in your relationship with God, getting to know Him and His word better. Your husband doesn’t have to be at the same pace you’re at for you to teach your son or grow yourself. Trust in God’s love for you and for your husband. God can and will use YOU as a tool to bring your husband to Christ if you obey and yield to His ways. It may take 2 years of praying  like it did with my husband or it may take 35 years like it did for my dad. In any case, it will be in God’s timing, not yours. The question is, are you willing to hang on to the promise?

My favorite book on being the wife God created you to be is “Created to Be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl. You can find it at www.nogreaterjoy.org or a local Christian bookstore. At this point, you need to diligently pray for your husband, but don’t take the burden of his salvation upon your own shoulders. That’s God burden to bear. You are only accountable for your own actions, not your husband’s, although you should do everything you can to help your husband be the man God wants him to be.

Some examples? Don’t preach to him. If you’ve shared Christ as Savior with him, then let the words go and let your actions show. Your husband has anxiety? Listen to his troubles then sweetly let him know you’ll be praying about it for him. That’s all you need to say at that moment. Don’t be tempted to bust out the Bible and go into sermon about casting your anxieties upon God if He’s not open to hearing it at this point. But DO diligently pray to God and believe that He will meet the needs of your husband.

Proverbs speaks a lot about a wife, so listen up!

Proverbs 12:4
A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.

Proverbs 18:22
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,and he receives favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:14
Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth,but only the Lord can give an understanding wife.

Proverbs 21:9
It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.

Proverbs 27:15
A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day.

Proverbs 31:10
[A Wife of Noble Character] Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.

You said it in your letter that you should just let Christ show through you and that’s exactly right. Let the sweet love of Jesus shine so brightly through you, that your husband will question what has gotten into his wife. Literally! The Holy Spirit. Let the spirit lead you as you show reverence and obedience to your husband.

Visit Candid Candace for more Qs & As on Growing with God.

As the school year is coming to an end, us moms put on our Vacation Coordinator hats and busily begin preparing for “the best summer vacation yet!” Some of us have a few weeks to begin this yearly flutter of signing our children up for summer camps, missions trips, coordinating family vacations, summer school, etc. Others have a little over a month to fill our children’s summer vacation with fun memories of their childhood that we hope they will pass on to their children one day.

But in the midst of all this hustle and bustle, we must stop to ask ourselves, “What do I want my children to remember about their summer vacations? Do I want them to remember how fun it was, or how full it was?” That is, how deep, not wide. Then, we’re faced with the dilemma of having to choose between fun vs. spiritually edifying. But do we really have to choose? Can fun and spiritual depth coexist? Well, I believe it can, and this month’s cover girl proves it!

It’s my pleasure to introduce to you, Chonda Pierce. Our sister Chonda is a talented and hilarious Christian comedian who has authored six (6) books, produced multiple DVD’s of her performances, a gifted singer/songwriter, co-host of Aspiring Women , and co-founder of PKI – Preacher’s Kids International. In 2006, Chonda also helped found Branches Recovery Center which is “a Christian, faith-based center for emotional and spiritual restoration and recovery for those broken by addiction, depression and shame“.

I’ve been a fan of Chonda’s for nearly a decade, after I first saw her at a Women of Faith Conference. My favorite thing about her, believe it or not, isn’t that she’s funny. What I love most about her is that she loves Jesus Christ as Lord, and that is more than evident. I love that I can laugh with her, cry with her, worship in song with her, hear the Gospel and listen to her unashamedly claim her dependence, trust and devotion to our Savior. Every time I tell someone about her, or send them one of her DVD’s, I always say, “You’ve got to listen to this sister. She LOVES Jesus! Oh, and she’s also hilarious! And she’s got a great voice!”

I pray that you are truly blessed by her story and how God continues to be her greatest hero.

Sunny: Sister Chonda, I’ve been a fan for years! Recently, me and my three men (husband and two teenage boys), laughed, cried and worshiped with you as we watched “Stayin’ Alive…Laughing” DVD. In this DVD and your book, Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian’s Journey Through Depression (Simon and Schuster, Inc.) you lovingly and honestly share your battle with depression. You could’ve just hid this and said you were just taking a sabbatical or something. What moved you to share this very private time in your life with the public?

Chonda: I feel like in my life, silence is a bigger danger than depression. I spent my childhood keeping secrets. So I just set out to be honest and I think I was as surprised as anyone that my career stayed intact. It is a known fact that, spiritually and psychologically, anything that is dragged out of the dark into the light, no longer has power over you.

Sunny: Amen to that sister! What was the greatest lesson you learned from your bout with depression?

Chonda: That how I feel doesn’t change who God is. There are several folks in the Bible who many people believe suffer from depression, so I’m in good company. I’ve learned that depression is a reminder to me to serve God; again because of who He is and not because of the way He makes me feel.

Sunny: You’ve got that right. When we read the accounts of many great men of faith i.e., Elijah, Jeremiah, Job, Asaph, etc., we can clearly see that depression is not unusual for a Christian, but is a norm for many who love God and experience the darkness and depravity of a world full of sin – especially within ourselves. In your book, Laughing in the Dark: A Comedian’s Journey Through Depression you said “Rehearse in the dark, what you learned in the light.” Would you please share with our readers, what you mean by this statement and how it helps you?

Chonda: That means on a good day when you are in God’s word, and you are feeling His presence and understanding that He’s in control, to rehearse as if those revelations are real, when you are in the dark; because the feelings in the dark are lying to you. But the fact remains that if you have felt God’s presence, you trust that it is real and is there with you in the dark, even though you might not “feel” it. There’s an old premise in performance that says “fake it ’til you make it” which tricks your confidence into believing that you are a seasoned professional. And though I don’t have a performance based faith, I do believe that your depressed mind can be trained into rehearsing what you have come to know as truth, rather than what you might be feeling at the time.

Sunny: That reminds me of a verse from Scripture [Hebrews 10:23] and a verse from an old hymn by R. Kelso Carter, ♪ ♫”Standing on the promises that cannot fail, When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail, By the living Word of God I shall prevail, Standing on the promises of God.” ♫ ♪ As always, I absolutely love the title of your latest DVD, “This Ain’t Prettyville” that was recently released on March 24, 2009. Can you tell us about this comedy bit, and why you felt this was an important topic to cover?

Chonda: It was the natural progression with the work I’m doing to manage depression, understanding myself based on the wrong and the right information from childhood, media influences and life’s circumstances. It helps us to remember to embrace the “real” in each of us.

Sunny: Truly the “real” is always more powerful than how we happen to “feel”. As you stated, how we feel from moment to moment isn’t always true. Well it’s so obvious our Father God ain’t through with you yet sister! I see that the Lord has recently given you a host spot alongside Shirley Rose and Michelle McKinney Hammond on the talk show, Aspiring Women which airs every Monday at 10:00 a.m. EST on Total Living Network (TLN). How did this come about?

Chonda: I had been a guest on their show many times through the years. I fell in love with their enthusiasm to share stories of people’s real lives, ups and downs. So they asked and I said, “Sure, why not?” Aspiring Women has given me a great place to broaden my communication skills.

Sunny: I noticed your husband David also has a new, nationally released book (March 17, 2009) entitled, Don’t Let Me Go (WaterBrook/Random House Press). It covers the 3 year journey David took with Chera while climbing 4 mountains and running 2 marathons. This sounds so interesting! I’m curious, what is the main theme of this book and why was David inspired to write it?

Chonda: The main theme of the book is that we learn as much in the valleys as we do in the mountain tops. He just wrote it as a gift to Chera – didn’t know it was going to be a book. You can get more information at DavidWPierce.com and he would be more than happy to talk with you about his mindset while he was writing it.

Sunny: Well, I did visit David’s sight and I encourage others to visit as well! The short video he shares about the book, what he and Chera experienced and a snippet of what he learned was very inspiring. I love this quote from David’s site: “Although this is a book about pain and perseverance, disappointment and victory, it is mostly what a father learns about his daughter—by watching her character, both in the valleys and on the mountaintops.” Personally, I’m so inspired, that while I only have boys, I’m going to get the book and read it because I believe all us parents would benefit from watching our children’s character and learning more about them.

In 1993, you worked with Second Row, Inc. to found PKI – Preacher’s Kids International. I love the purpose of this ministry: “The purpose of PKI is to provide ministry and support to the families of preachers, missionaries, evangelists and other Christian professional ministers. Our immediate focus is the adult children of those families — offering celebrations and recovery through counseling, group interaction, retreats, and seminars.” Why do you have this ministry and why call the place for your retreats the “Funny Farm”?

Chonda: We always wanted to do something to give back to the people who are walking the same journey I had walked in my childhood. I remember so many “have to do’s” as a preacher’s kid: you have to show up to everything, have to go early, have to stay late, have to dress a certain way or be in a certain place, all because you are a preacher’s kid. So I created a place where kids could say, “Look what I get to do, because I’m a preacher’s kid!” And why the Funny Farm? Because we like alliteration! And it’s a catchy title. And there are some funny things out there – videos, books…and I mean come on; I’m a comic, with a farm, hello?!

Sunny: Sister Chonda you crack me up! What a wonderful ministry for PK’s! And yes, I never thought about that, you are a comic, who owns a farm…so I suppose, naturally, it would be funny.

In closing, would you mind sharing with our readers a Scripture or passage (and/or song) that our gracious Lord is using to minister to you right now, and why?

Chonda: I love a song by Shannon Wexelberg called the “The Story.” It’s off of her Story Of My Life CD. I first heard it about a month ago and it spoke to me of the importance of talking about your lives. It just hit my heart. Below is the Scripture God is using to minister to me right now; and in light of everything I’ve shared so far, I believe the reason why it ministers to me, is obvious.

It is the Spirit that gives life. Flesh doesn’t give life. The words I told you are spirit, and they give life.
John 6:63

Chonda, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to visit with us and sharing your heart. I’ve truly been encouraged by everything you’ve shared and I am inspired to slow down, smell the roses and be grateful for all the things our Father God teaches us in the “light” so that we may rightly apply His truths in the darkness.

If you’d like to be blessed with stories of God’s faithfulness, great singing, solid/biblical truths – while laughing, please be sure to visit our sister Chonda at:

And as if Chonda’s visit with us here at CWO wasn’t enough of a blessing, she’s graciously offered us TWO autographed copies of her latest DVD, “This Ain’t Prettyville”. I’ve already watched it (more than once ) and have been so encouraged, amused and blessed! You’ll love her opening song and will probably shout a loud “AMEN!” like I did.

We have used the online randomizer tool, and chosen two winners from our list of commenters:

Congratulations to: Aubrey Miller and Cathy Davis

While speaking at the recent “A Women Inspired” online conference, I was asked if I have any motivation to press on, for those who are struggling with their diet. I was reminded of the many times that I’ve personally stared down at the scale looking at yet another plateau.

I happen to know how frustrating that can be, and how hard it is to fight negative thoughts. So in order to combat those feelings I’ve put together a list of 15 motivational thoughts and ideas to keep you on track.
Give them a read when you’re starting to feel “Mrs. Give-Up-and–Eat” moving in, and then kick her whiny butt out the door!

1. Don’t look back on yesterday with despair. Look at tomorrow with hope.
2. Train your heart and your body to yield to a faith focused mind.
3. Post your goals where you’ll see them often, along with notes of inspiration. Reminders are a good thing.
4. Do all things, whether big or small to the glory of God. For it is only by Him and through Him that we take each breath that we do.
5. Those who persist reach the finish line, while those who give up stay behind.
6. If you take two steps forward and one step back, you’re still getting someplace. Don’t give up the moment you slip up. Press on!
7. Knowledge is power, but without action it’s useless.
8. Rather than gloss over a problem, take steps toward change. Wisely dealing with a bad habit or issue isn’t the easy way, but it later brings peace to your life.
9. Why change your life tomorrow, when today is such a perfect time?
10. Take some steps today, if only a few, and tomorrow you’ll be that much closer to your goal.
11. Seeds of discipline produce a harvest of strength. Keep planting them daily.
12. Those who succeed rise with each fall. While others in a state of discouragement refuse to move on, for fear that they might fall again.
13. The road to success is paved with motivation and determination. Don’t let the speed bumps slow you down.
14. It is our job as stewards of this human vessel to guide the heart and the flesh according to wisdom, and according to the Word.
15. Each moment is a new beginning, make this one count.

©2009, Darlene Schacht

We call it Operation Enduring Sleep. My husband and I, the two-member coalition in this war on sleep-deprivation, take our assignment very seriously. The mission: to transfer our sleeping toddler, Jordan, from his car seat to his bed without waking him.

After we deploy ourselves, our first step is to unhook the buckle on his restraining device. Jordan sighs, and we freeze. Our lips purse, our foreheads crease, and we both wonder if we’ll make it.

After unhooking our little soldier, we give silent instructions to one another. Carey mouths, “You get him, I’ll get the door.” I nod in agreement.

Holding my breath, I slip Jordan’s carseat strap over his head. So far, so good. Now the most dangerous part: the hoist. I carefully bring my son’s heavy arms up over my shoulders, wrap one arm around his waist and cover his head—so as not to bump it on the car door and accidentally end the operation.

The whole operation has me thinking—sometimes, I am the toddler who won’t stay asleep in my Father’s arms. God has given me (and you!) so many precious promises, and He has offered His peace to me whenever I feel anxious.

When I say my prayers, and give the Lord my troubles, I go to sleep. But in the next few minutes, I wake up by listening to the lies Satan whispers in my ear, such as God isn’t interested in your little problems or What if the money never comes?

Instead of worrying, I need to remember who’s in charge of my battles, and let Him fight for me. I like what God told Moses in Exodus 33:14–“My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

But back to our war story: my brave husband holds the door for me, and I walk past him. Trooper that he is, Carey has already been on a stealth mission in our son’s bedroom. We both know that any miscalculation or stumble on my part would prove fatal to our plan, so Hubby has pulled the bedcovers back, darkened the room and conducted a ground search for stray objects in Jordan’s room.

As I reach the target, Jordan stirs a bit. I hesitate, re-calculate, and start humming a lullaby. Carey follows stealthily behind me, whispering encouragement. “Almost there,” he says.

Then ever so gently, I place Jordan on his bed, take off his shoes and cover his body with a blanket.  I tiptoe away, giving Carey the thumbs-up sign. Mission accomplished.

“Mommy,” I hear. Carey groans quietly. My heart starts to race. No, I think. We’ve come too far to fail now! And I need a nap, too. I decide to walk away slowly, ignore my child and hope he’s not really awake.

“Mommy!” Jordan cries, louder this time. I grimace at Carey. He shrugs, and turn back around. Our son is sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes. “I’m not tired now.”
”You need more rest,” I whisper. “Go back to sleep.”

Jordan hops off his bed, runs to my side and raises his arms. “I want to hold you!” he says.

And so the mission is aborted. Sneaky kid, I think. He knows my weak spots, and he isn’t afraid to exploit them.

As I take Jordan in my arms, I inhale his scent—a strange but comforting mixture of sweat, graham crackers and baby soap. “Oh, well,” I say to Carey. My hubby smiles and puts his arm around me, and we exit the nursery together.

Sometimes, losing the battle isn’t such a bad deal.

©2009, Dena Dyer

When I think of hosting in our home, the first thing that comes to mind is all the cleaning I’ll have to do.  Sometimes it’s hard to get beyond that issue, so that I just end up dropping the idea of having people over.  How can I change my attitude about cleaning so that it doesn’t hinder hospitality in our house?

Last week we had friends over for a dinner, and I didn’t clean my house!  It was an internal war inside – do I vacuum, dust and clean - or just let it go?

I’ll admit it.  Sometimes I can be pretty lazy when it comes to deep-cleaning my house. A quick pick-up is definitely easier and quicker!

But what will my guests think?

Will they even notice?

Perfectionism

Recently a friend shared her struggles with me, admitting that her house having to be perfect was the main reason she hadn’t had anyone over in months. It’s a shame, too, because she has a cute apartment within walking distance of her church.

She’s afraid to have people over because most of her friends are neat-freaks, and she’s afraid her place won’t meet their standards.

Prioritize

When it comes to hospitality, we often lose our focus as life gets hurried and complicated. We dash around doing things that really don’t matter (like cleaning the house before the guests arrive!), and then our perspective shifts. We get so caught up in our present circumstances, trying to make things so perfect, that we can’t see beyond our difficulties.

Over the years I’ve learned to ask myself this:  Would I rather continue on with what had already been a peaceful day – or kick it up a notch, running around crazily trying to make everything look just right?  I won’t even mention what kind of mood that puts the whole family in.

I’ve learned to prioritize what the important aspects of entertaining are (obviously getting the food on the table in a timely manner), and I’ve decided that a happy family and a relaxed hostess are way more important to me than having things perfect.

Perspective

We had such a great time with our guests, but it’s so easy to get our perspective out of balance. At one point I found myself looking down at the un-vacuumed carpet. For a split second I was embarrassed. Then I looked up into the faces of those around our table and my perspective shifted back into place.

It’s not about the crumbs on the floor or the disorganized piles around the house.  It’s not even that I am lazy when it comes to house cleaning. I definitely don’t fall into the mold of being a neat freak!  I just tend to have a very busy, hectic schedule at times and I’m trying to prioritize what really matters.

I’d rather keep strong friendships going than give them up for a clean house.

Does your house have to be perfectly clean before you’ll invite others in?

©2009, Sandy Coughlin

She sits close to me tonight. Closer than usual. Sometimes, on some Wednesday nights, I can tell her mind is elsewhere. Those times, she’s not enclosed within the four walls of this church. She’s running free.

But tonight she leans in close. It’s not that she’s snuggling–which she also does sometimes–it’s more that she’s just … leaning. For a minute, I can’t figure out why. But then I catch the faint sound of her voice imitating mine. She’s leaning in to hear my harmony.

I don’t say anything. I just lean into her right back. And I raise my voice a notch. My soprano-preferring daughter has accepted the fact that God gave her an alto voice–a pure, lovely, enviable alto voice. And tonight, apparently, she has set herself to learning.

We sing about God’s fame, and then about His faithfulness. We remind ourselves that He’s eternal, and good, and ready to save. And then we sing about the journey of life, and the fact that He saved us from a lot of pain and ugliness.

Travelin’ Light

I was doubling over
The load on my shoulders
Was a weight I carried with me every day
Crossin’ miles of frustrations and rivers a ragin’
Pickin’ up stones I found along the way
I staggered and I stumbled down pathways of trouble
I was haulin’ those souvenirs of misery
And with each step takin’ my back was breakin’
Til I found the one who took it all from me.

Down by the riverside (Down by the riverside)
I laid my burdens down, now I’m travelin’ light
My spirit lifted high (I found my freedom now)
I found my freedom now, and I’m travelin’ light

Through the darkest alleys and loneliest valleys
I was draggin’ those heavy chains of doubt and fear
Then with one word spoken the locks were broken
Now He’s leading me to places where there are no tears

In all the right places, my daughter listens, learns, and then sings. And I’m aware that this half-hour of worship is a metaphor for an even bigger truth. When the music fades away and the teaching is over and we turn off the lights in this room, this girl will continue to watch, and listen, and imitate what she sees in me.

Father, help me fill her life with Your song.

©2009, Shannon Woodward

“No gift to your mother can ever equal
her gift to you – life.”

A woman has the most mysterious and wonderful power in the whole world – choosing to give birth to a child.  Most of the time, the child is born into a family unit.  But there are times when a woman has a very difficult and painful decision to make – is she able to give the child whom she is carrying a life where all of his or her needs are met?   A lot of times, this gut-wrenching decision Is made alone by this woman, and she must feel the weight of the world on her shoulders as she goes through this decision-making process. What is best for the baby? Can I give to the baby what it needs/deserves/wants in this life?  Am I emotionally and psychologically and financially able to provide for my child?  Am I mature enough to be a mother?  Will the baby be better off with me or with parents who can provide what I cannot?  Regardless of the decision this woman makes about keeping her child or giving the gift of her child to a couple to raise, she has still given her child the most precious gift of all – LIFE!

This tiny life is so helpless when it is first born.  And when the birth mother makes the ultimate and selfless sacrifice of placing the child up for adoption, she is giving that tiny life a chance to have a life which she is not able to give to him or her.  There will be tears of anguish, moments of despair, a deep hole in the heart which will never be filled over the course of her lifetime.  There will be the constant questions – I wonder what he’s doing now?  Does she ever even think about me? Will we ever meet face-to-face?  What have the birth parents told him about me?  Does she hate me?  Does he love me?  What does she look like?  Does he have the same kind of personality that I have?

As the adoptive mom, all that I can say on this Mother’s Day to my girls’ birth moms is – yes, she loves you!  And yes, I’m certain she looks like you.  We talk about you a lot, wondering what you are doing now, where you are living, if you’re married and if you have other children, if you want to meet her,  and what it would be like to meet for the first time.  We’ve always kept you in our prayers.  We’ve always thanked the Lord for your precious gift of life – not only by giving birth, but also by giving her a home where she has been loved and nurtured and treasured.

So, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you. As it says in Proverbs, 23:25, “Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.”  My husband and I are glad that we have two beautiful girls, and we want the birth mothers to rejoice this Mother’s Day in the knowledge that their girls are beautiful, well-loved, healthy, and will someday want to share their love with you.

You have carried the love for your child in your heart all of these years.  Please know that my girls have carried love for you in their hearts, as well.  You have been a loving presence in their lives, giving them the model of a powerful sacrifice and an unselfish kind of love. We wish you a very special Mother’s Day.  God bless you and keep you safe in His graces.

“The love of a mother is the veil of a softer light between the heart and the Heavenly Father.”
Samuel Taylor Coleridge

©2009, Valerie Wolff

More and more I find myself striving for the beauty and freedom of simplicity. I am trying to pare down, have less and really enjoy what I have rather than being overloaded with so many things. One of the ways I’ve simplified is to use the same dinner dishes for everyday as I do for entertaining at parties or holidays. And not only do I use those same dishes for all occasions where I serve food, I use them for decorating every day. The beauty of this simple plan is that I can mix, match and use what I have no matter what the need is. It saves money, space and time! All things I always seem short on!

For the past ten years or so, I have pared down to having only white dishes. No more fancy china or holiday sets! I enjoy the freedom to accessorize with colored napkins and putting together more creative centerpieces rather than pulling out a whole new set of fancier dishes. I think this might also indicate that my lifestyle has settled into a more casual, comfortable and less fussy routine. My white dishes go with everything, and even if I decide I want to paint the dining room a new color, my white dishes will still work!

I love having glass cabinets in my kitchen. With my collection of all white dishes, I can have them stacked behind glass and they look pretty every day. I don’t have to worry about matching the room or coordinating patterns. My dishes serve two purposes; they add character and decoration to my kitchen as well as actually being used when it comes to mealtimes.

With my one set of dishes, I can even use the specialty pieces for multiple uses. A sugar bowl can hold anything from sugar in the kitchen to jewelry in the bathroom. A soup tureen can be a centerpiece one week and actually serve soup the next. My white pitcher can hold tulips or it can serve water.

For many years now I have also collected white serving platters. It doesn’t matter to me if they are pure white or off white, I collect them all. Some of them have pretty scalloped edges; some have a seashell design and some have a scroll pattern. Instead of stuffing platters in that dark deep cabinet above the refrigerator where I forget I even have them, I put them out where I can enjoy them every day! I hang them on walls or I stand them up with plate stands on my buffet or countertops.  And when I need to serve brownies, a simple white platter is always handy to use for serving.

Striving for simplicity means I have less and use what I have creatively, rather than buying something new or storing a lot of options “just in case” I might need them someday. I have found that I don’t need fancy extras or multiple sets of dishes, I can get by very well with my simple white set!

What are some of the ways you are striving to live a more simple life?

For more decorating and homemaking ideas visit The Inspired Room.

©2009, Melissa Michaels

It’s the slow, heaving pant on the other end of the line that wakes me. No words in the receiver, just this heavy, exaggerated exhale of a body.

My brow crinkles. I don’t open eyes, searching for a way out of dreams, to figure out who, why.

And then a voice, hardly audible:

“I think it is today.”

Today?

It registers. My sister’s voice. And today. The Saturday before Mother’s Day.

I know this place. I been here before. Thirteen years ago on the eve of Mother’s Day, it was my labored breathing, the muscles of my abdomen contracting taut and iron hard.

“In Him, you can do this, sister.” I press the phone closer, wanting her to hear, get this.

“Just stay fluid, lean back into it. Let it come. Channels only.”

They are close, handy, those phrases that coached through our six births. And too, I guess what is true of the labor of birth is true of the work of life. Stay fluid, lean back into it. Channels only.

“You think I can do this?” Her teeth are chattering now, nerves jangled, scared.

“Lay back into Him.  Then yes, you can definitely do this.”

She answers with long, methodical breathing.

“Enjoy this.” I whisper. “You know not if you pass this way again.”

We both know it’s time and she has to go and I step into new day coming.

My daughter and I, we dress for a Mother-d aughtergarden tea at the church, day before Mother’s Day. She wears flashing pink and I wear safe black and I don’t know what my own Mama would have wore, for now she cannot come.  My mother will collect my sister’s little girls while my sister lets go of curled child within.
At garden tea, daughter and I, we listen to the chatting, laughing, talk of recipes, sipping of cups, but I am not there. My thoughts are with my sister, with my memories of my laboring too thirteen years ago on the cusp of Mother’s Day.

I am with a uterus emptying.

Sometimes I catch myself, this laying a hand on my flatness, over that still cavity. Sometimes I can feel the pulse of ache’s howl. A woman’s body is hollowed out to create. Her soul made to knit in the private spaces. And so the longings come, these yearnings to fill, to carry, to deliver.

And yet does the womb need an embryonic soul?  Can any kind of soul fill the void?

We are hardly through home’s door from the tea when the phone rings, sister’s voice again.

“Already?” I glance up at the clock over the table.

“She’s here.” Her voice is light, wearily happy. “Now we have four.” I shake my head at the wonder of all those little girls growing old together.

“Ana… after you.” My breath catches. Words scatter, leaving me stilled.

And I realize: We never cease to be with child. Those of us who have birthed, and those of us who never have.
We may not be with child. But we can be with the abandoned, the elderly, the needy. We need not ever let our wombs languish empty. We may always open and welcome another person to find nourishment and comfort within the empty places we have made just for them.

Regardless of age or fertility, we can make spaces within for the growing of souls.  For the unfurling of people’s dreams, their stories, their hurts, their lives.

Do we not line our lives with the stretch marks of love?

Somewhere under a night pinned up with stars, Ana Jordan sleeps near her mother’s face, her warm breath falling, her fists clenched tight.

And we of empty uteruses still swell, making ourselves homes.

My last act on a Saturday before Mother’s Day is the opening of a card to write a haiku of feelings for my own mother who still harbors a place within for me:

Silver-crowned mama
Still you swell, full with child, an
Always dwelling place.

©2009, Ann Voskamp

Lori Kasbeer with Max Lucado

Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now  to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”

I am excited to share with you that I am a contributing author in a new book titled, Pearl Girls: Encountering Grit, Experiencing Grace compiled by Margaret McSweeney.

That is not the best part; the best part is that all proceeds for this book are donated to charity. The proceeds go towards WINGS to help fund a woman’s Safe House and for Hands of Hope to help build wells in African villages. This devotional style book includes submissions from Robin Jones Gunn, Shaunti Feldhahn, Melody Carson, Debbie Macomber, along with many other well known authors.  This book will be ready for shipping at the end of the summer, but on Amazon they are taking pre-orders.  One person who leaves a comment below, will win a pre-ordered copy, to be received when the book ships.  Winner will be announced in next month’s Book Buzz.

This month with Mother’s day coming I wanted to share with you some coffee style books I have recently received for review.  When I read through each of these books, they took my breath away.  The words are penetrating and the photography is stunning.  Max Lucado’s book His Name is Jesus: The Promise of God’s Love Fulfilled is filled with words that draws the reader closer to who God is.  During the month of March I was privileged to be able to meet Max Lucado, what a highlight that was!  Ken Duncan’s In the Footsteps of Paul: Experience the Journey that Changed the World allows readers to travel Paul’s footsteps while soaking in his stunning photography.  Lastly, Reflections of God’s Holy Land gives readers a stunning tour through the historical places in Israel.

May God bless you this month and if you are a mother Happy Mother’s Day.

His Name is Jesus:
The Promise of God’s Love Fulfilled
By Max Lucado
Thomas Nelson
February 2009
191 pages

When I first received this book I opened up the package and gasped, it was breathtaking.   Max Lucado, the author of over sixty plus books, does it again in this stunning gift book His Name Is Jesus: The Promise of God’s Love Fulfilled.  Max Lucado shares his insights and quotes of Jesus from birth to resurrection in this stunning illustrated book.  This is not a normal book; it is a book to be displayed where visitors can see it.  The gorgeous slipcover that is included and art create a collectable gift to treasure.

Max Lucado is a fixture on national bestsellers lists.  He is one of the rare authors that can write books for readers of all ages.  Many of his phrases have turned into Hallmark’s best selling greeting cards.  This would make a perfect gift for someone; the pictures on the web do not do the stunning photos justice.

In the Footsteps of Paul: Experience the Journey that Changed the World
By Ken Duncan
Thomas Nelson
March 2009
175 pages

Ken Duncan who travels the path of the Apostle Paul and is known internationally for his award-winning photography makes this book breath taking.  I have studied Paul’s travels, but the photos in this book bring the scriptures alive.  There are stunning photos of the Old Roman Road, Corinth, Ephesus, and Athens along with so many more.

John MacArthur wrote a forward for In the Footsteps of Paul saying, “Ken Duncan has traced the journeys of Paul as thoroughly as anyone I know. Fortunately for all of us, Ken is a superb photographer….”  I have to agree, these photos make Paul’s travels come to life.

Reflections of God’s Holy Land:
A Personal Journey through Israel
By Eva Marie Everson & Miriam Feinberg Vamosh
Thomas Nelson
September 2008
256 pages

For many of us visiting Israel is only a dream.  We dream of walking where the patriarchs, prophets, apostles and Jesus traveled.  Thanks to Eva Marie Everson & Miriam Feinberg Vamosh (one Christian, one Jewish) we are given a stunning armchair tour for those of us who have never had a chance to visit God’s Holy Land.  This book includes stunning photographs, related scripture, historical and archaeological information about each area.  Reading their descriptions had my heart pounding and made me feel I was actually walking along the Jordan River.  This stunning coffee table book brought me to a deeper understanding of Israel’s history while feeling blessed by God himself.

Additional book reviews can be found at: Lori’s Book Reviews — where there is a chance to win free books each month!

©2009, Lori Kasbeer

Johnny’s basically a good kid—just trying to get it together.

If only I had a dollar for every parent who has said that to me!

The only trouble is that for Johnny, “getting it together” doesn’t happen until he wakes up, usually well into the day, at which time he eats (leaving the dirty dishes in the sink), then spends time playing video games or surfing My Space on the Internet, or wondering why his mother didn’t get around to washing his clothes yet.

It’s hard for some parents in pain to recognize and admit that who and what our children used to be is not who and what they are now. Many of our adult children are emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, socially, and spiritually stunted. Many are so rebellious our hearts repeatedly break, and still others are dangerously fragile, hanging on by a thread. Some have gone from smoking pot to selling it; from destroying their own lives, to taking others with them. Many of these adult children have cost their parents their marriages, their jobs, their financial health, their sanity… and in some cases even their faith in God.

We must come to grips with reality: our children’s radical “rebellious streak” isn’t just a phase that will go away. However, that doesn’t mean they are lost causes. As long as our adult children are alive, there is still hope for their redemption, salvation, and return. Restoring ruined dreams and reclaiming wasted years is what God does best, as Joel 2:25 so lovingly promises: “For I will restore to you the years the locust has eaten.”

We do not parent as people who have no hope. We have a God who watches after our children—if we’ll just get out of his way and let him do the restoring. But to get to restoration, we must start with the truth of where we are: Those once innocent children grew into the jaded and unmotivated adults they are today under our parental watch.

For many enabling parents in pain, the decline of character in our adult child did not occur overnight. The progression has been happening for many years, in many instances right under our noses. The view many of us have of our adult child is often of the precious son or daughter we raised—an innocent babe filled with potential, eager to please. This distorted view is not helping him to become the adult God wants him to be. To get past this, we must become objective while retaining an ability to love. Being able to see our situation clearly is critical as we move forward.

The following might be a painful exercise. Carefully read the list of personality traits and ask yourself this question: “Does my adult child possess any of these traits?” Be honest. You are doing no one, least of all your adult child, any favors by sugar-coating the painful reality. Is your adult child really “a good kid?” If you are unable to be objective, ask someone close to the situation to help. However, don’t get angry if that person tells you things you don’t want to hear.

1. Irresponsibility—repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments: not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

2. Failure to accept responsibility for actions—reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, efforts to manipulate others through denial.

3. Lack of realistic, long-term goals—an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

4. Impulsivity—the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation or considering consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

5. Superficial charm—the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, and slick; not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything; never gets tongue-tied and has freed himself from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example; often very articulate and can be extremely well-mannered when he wants to be.

6. Grandiose self-worth—a grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart; an arrogant person who believes he’s a superior human being.

7. Parasitic lifestyle—an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

8. Poor behavioral controls—expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

9. Need for stimulation (prone to boredom)—an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky; often has low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because he gets bored easily.

10. Pathological lying—can be moderate or high; in moderate form, he will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever (in extreme form, he will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest).

11. Conning and manipulative—the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from impulsivity (item 4) in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of others.

12. Lack of remorse or guilt—a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of others; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, non-empathetic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims (i.e., parents).

13. Shallow effect—emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

14. Callousness and lack of empathy—a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, tactless.

15. Promiscuous sexual behavior—a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; if a son, he may have fathered numerous children; if a daughter, multiple unplanned and unwanted pregnancies and using abortion as birth control.

16. Many short-term relationships—a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

17. Juvenile delinquency—behavior problems between the ages of thirteen and eighteen; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

18. Criminal versatility—a diversity of types of criminal offenses (regardless of whether he has been arrested or convicted for them); sometimes taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

Okay, brace yourself, Mom and Dad. If you answered yes to several of these, you may be surprised to learn that all eighteen traits are actually the “clinical traits” of someone possessing what professionals now refer to as an “antisocial personality disorder,” formerly known as sociopathic behavior.

A sociopath has something wrong with his conscience—either he doesn’t have one or it’s severely fragmented or corrupt. Today, politically correct psychologists often call this a “character disorder,” defined typically as people who don’t want to take responsibility for their own actions and lives. As with any psychological disorder, there are varying degrees to which a person is affected. Yet regardless of the degree to which our adult children possess these alarming traits, they are not beyond our prayers. On the contrary, now is the time we must pray all the harder. Pray and plan.

Yes, by setting in motion a plan whereby we cut the cord of enablement, we are releasing them into a world where they can sink or swim, but we are also releasing them into a world where we can all, parents and children alike, fully realize the power of God to work in miraculous ways to bring his children out of bondage and into a life of utter freedom and peace.

Only God can erase the bitter and painful memories our adult children carry in their mind and heart…and I am not God. Neither are you. We must get out of the way and let God do what only he can. We must temper compassion for our children with wisdom, and we must not confuse compassion with sentimentality.

Although it’s often too late for prevention when it comes to our adult children, it’s never too late for redemption. Our only refuge is in God’s grace and mercy. Restoration and blessing will come after judgment and repentance. He might not be a “good kid” at this point in time, but he is still “God’s kid.” Though the devil may seem to have won a skirmish or two, the battle is still the Lord’s.

If you’re a hurting parent who dearly loves your adult child but longs to see him at last take responsibility for his life, please take a moment to watch the video “But he’s a Good Kid” (Episode 11) on the audio/video page of our web site. It could save your sanity—and maybe even your adult child’s life.

Video clip at:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKmt8CcgFmw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBv7AVQEvs4

# # #

Adapted from Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, Six Steps to Hope and Healing by Allison Bottke © 2008. Harvest House Publishers. All rights reserved.
Visit www.SettingBoundaries.com

When we got married, we didn’t just make a few mistakes with money—we made ‘em all! Throughout our sixteen years of marriage, there have been some trouble spots that seemed to pop up repeatedly.

Failing to communicate about money
Money is hard to talk about. Issues of pride, inadequacy, resentment and shame get wrapped up in the conversation, resulting in hurt feelings, isolation, and even lying to each other about debt. In the early days of our marriage, every conversation about money seemed to end up in a fight. He felt attacked because he wasn’t providing. She felt vulnerable and unprotected. Neither was able to move past their feelings to reach out to the other, and it stayed that way for years. In the end, we both had to lay some things down and take small steps towards communicating in a more healthy way. Financial classes, financial counseling, and reading books together were valuable as we learned how to work together and talk openly.

Not working together to develop a budget
Many years of trial and error have taught us that following a realistic budget is the key to managing our money well. This sounds easy, but our different personality styles made it frustrating to work together. One was a saver while one was a spender. One wanted everything on a spreadsheet neatly organized in rows and columns, while this kind of detail just gave the other a headache! So instead of working together, the one with the dominant personality took over. As a result, the budget was unrealistic and one-sided. We always seemed to be overspending in every category. As you can imagine, this resulted in accusations and frustration.

What we’ve found is that we are much stronger when we work together. We can create common goals and compliment each other’s styles. One is good at organizing and tracking all the details, while the other gives great input about how much we need in each category.

Together, we can create a much more realistic picture and can regularly update how much has been spent. At the end of the month, there are no more “where did all the money go?” fights. Instead of working for our money, our money is working for us!

Not having money set aside for unexpected expenses
One of the things we weren’t prepared for when we were married and starting a family is the unexpected. We quickly learned how expensive things can be to repair or replace. We also had a two-year period in our marriage of very high medical costs due to a child’s illness. Because we had no emergency fund, we used credit cards to make the repairs and pay off the medical bills. We were burdened for years with the debt as we worked to pay it off.

The reality is, bad things are bound to happen. A couple should have enough money set aside to cover three to six months of monthly spending. Having this savings available will cover any major repairs, replace things such as appliances, or cover monthly expenses in the case of lost income.

Not being wise buying a home
Shortly after we were married, many well-intentioned people told us that it was critical that we buy a home. Their logic was that we would only be throwing money away if we rented and that we were missing out on a huge tax break. While there is truth to this advice, for a newly married couple, trying to rush into a home turned into one of our biggest budget busters. Because we didn’t understand the true cost of home ownership, we ended up owning a home with a mortgage payment that ate up a large majority of our monthly take home pay. We also were unprepared for the cost of maintaining a home and ended up with debt on credit cards as things broke down.

We’ve learned that there are three key principles to use when buying a home. A couple should save so they can make a large down payment, they should get a fixed rate mortgage, and they should keep the monthly payment at 25% or less of their take home pay. By following these principles, owning a home can be a blessing instead of a curse!

Spending money before you have it
It is easy for a couple to revert to spending on credit or financing on a “buy now/pay later” plan. You think you’ll use future incoming money like commission checks or bonuses to cover the debt later. Though the adage “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” may be overdone, it does hold true in this case. One time we were counting on a large commission check that we were planning to use to paint our home. We just knew the money was coming, so we went ahead and fronted the money on a credit card, with good intentions to pay it off once we got the money. But the money never came. We were stuck with a large credit card that once carried a zero balance—and no way to pay it off. We were back to scrimping and pinching pennies to pay down that debt. We learned a valuable lesson not to spend money before it was actually in our hands, no matter what.

These five areas are by no means the only mistakes couples can make with money, but we have found that once we tackled these areas, making wise decisions in other areas seemed to follow. The overarching theme of our marriage has been learning that we are both on the same team. Instead of approaching money like two opposing teams out to score our own needs, we learned to tackle money with a united vision. While improving these five areas may seem difficult, it is possible to do so. If we can do it, any couple can!

Marybeth Whalen is the wife of Curt and mom of six children, ages teen to toddler. The family lives outside Charlotte, NC. Marybeth is a member of the Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker team and a regular contributor to their daily devotions. She and her husband Curt co-authored the newly released book Learning To Live Financially Free. Marybeth speaks regularly to women’s groups and enjoys sharing stories from her daily adventures as a wife, mom, homeschooler, writer, and, most importantly, a follower of God. You can find her online at www.marybethwhalen.com.

©2009, Marybeth Whalen

This month we celebrate MOM…and all what she means to us—it could be your mother, grandmother, spiritual mother, sister or whoever had a great influence in your life. We want to say, “thank you for all you do!” I know we are in an economic crunch and money may be tight—so… I invite you to print this article, wrap it up in a bow, and give this to someone you love or care about.

Sensibly Chic . . . Thirty Days of Elegance

Surrounding your life with beauty is not just about makeup or the latest trends in style. You can create and discover the essence of elegance in everyday life. The definition of elegance is “tastefully luxurious.” I invite you to create little pockets of pleasure for one month. Whether you are helping a friend out or treating your mom to lunch, it’s the little things in life that make a difference in our attitudes and outlook. Nothing is more “extravagant” than a positive, giving approach to life.

Day 1: Write a note to someone you know in an assisted-living center.
Day 2: Begin a “grateful journal” and write something you are thankful for once a day (keep it at your bedside). When you’re feeling down, be sure to read it.
Day 3: Collect some flowers and place them in your kitchen.
Day 4: Drink your coffee or tea from an antique cup.
Day 5: Learn a French or Italian word for the next thirty days.
Day 6: Read a Jane Austin novel or any classic author.
Day 7: Watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s or GiGi.
Day 8: Use a beaded or silver cup to hold your Q-tips or cotton balls.
Day 9: Donate books or magazines to your local women’s resource center or nursing home.
Day 10: Read some poetry.
Day 11: Write a poem or a song (I used to do this in high school and now have started again).
Day 12: Practice standing up straight; you’ll appear taller and confident.
Day 13: Listen to classical music or an opera. Maybe do a bit of research about the person who wrote the piece.
Day 14: Take out the good china, light some candles, and eat in the dining room tonight.
Day 15: Tame your tongue—no gossiping (we should do this every day, all the time).
Day 16: Book a nail or hair appointment at your local cosmetology school (half the cost if not more than your local salon.
Day 17: Visit your local garden club. Take a book to read while surrounded by the beauty God created. We have Leu Gardens here in Florida; I have a membership and love going there.
Day 18: I love biographies—read about someone that inspires you.
Day 19: Go to a tea room with a friend, mother, sister, or daughter.
Day 20: A museum may be the answer to get away from it all—observe.
Day 21: Frame a scripture or quote that captivates you.
Day 22: Wear your expensive perfume today or make your own.
Day 23: Go to a park and sketch some nature (you don’t have to be a great artist).
Day 24: Book a massage at a salon, or at a massage school for half the price.
Day 25: Wear a cashmere cardigan or scarf. Can’t afford one? Pashmere is wonderful and I bought one for $5.
Day 26: Watch a sunset or sunrise.
Day 27: Name your house. Why should the Biltmore have a name and not yours? Okay, so it has five hundred rooms where some of us have only five. Name it anyway; it is your history. How does the Ballestero Cottage sound?
Day 28: Drink your water from a goblet or enjoy a smoothie in a crystal glass.
Day 29: Draw a bath with essential oils, then soak to the sounds of soothing music and relax by candlelight.
Day 30: Wear your pearls!

True confidence, just like true beauty—comes from knowing that God created you as a uniquely beautiful woman with much more than your face to offer the world!

Excerpted from Beauty by God.

©2009, Shelly Ballestero

It was a lovely azure blue-sky day in Colorado, with wispy, white clouds creating animal pictures in the sky.  The drive out to Hanging Lake for our hike took about 40 minutes, and the view of the mountains was absolutely breathtaking. Spindly fingers of crystallized ice seemed to weave their way down the sides of the crevices as if to grasp the tops of the mountains. Every tree imaginable grew in proud rows, too numerous to count; a horticulturist’s dream.

As soon as we arrived we began our ascent with gusto.  We had our water bottles, our sneakers and our big smiles.  We were embarking on the adventure of a lifetime.  The hike up to Hanging Lake is about a mile and a half and the terrain is steep, with boulders of all shapes and sizes to navigate.  Occasionally, there are spots less vertical, where you can rest and catch your breath, but overall, this is a serious climb.  I noticed I had to stop more often than I had planned, to rest, drink my water and slow my racing heartbeat.    Of course, when you’re pushing fifty and still pretending to be 35, reality occasionally kicks you in the butt.  After all, I am from Florida, where oxygen is a plentiful commodity!  When you’re thousands of feet above sea level, the air gets a little thin.  Enough with the pathetic excuses; let’s get back to the wonders of nature.

To the right of the path is a beautiful rushing stream that cascades past boulders, rocks and green foliage. Just the voice of the water is relaxing and as many times as I had to stop, I got a lot of opportunities to appreciate it.  Little brown and black chipmunks skittered past my feet as if to welcome me to their habitat.  The trees were so tall, I got a neck ache trying to see the tops and each tree had unique markings and personality. Running my hands over the rough and protruding grain of the trunk told me the story of their years in the mountain’s forest.  If these trees could only talk, I’ve no doubt they’d be singing the praises of their Creator.

About half way up, there was an enormous tree that had fallen to the left of the path, its huge trunk nearly five feet in diameter. The spindly limbs, bereft of leaves and wildlife, his song now silent.  I couldn’t help but feel sorry for this fallen warrior, alone and displaced in a world of vibrant life.

Someone kept asking that irritating, but important question, “Are we there yet?”  I realized with a bit of embarrassment that the person making that repetitive inquiry was me.  The higher we climbed, the more difficult the journey. But the orchestrated sound of creation beckoned me on.  Birds were singing little tunes in perfect harmony as if to encourage me to keep going.

The last leg of the journey to Hanging Lake is fraught with sheer drop-offs, jagged rocks and slippery dirt filled with tiny, laughing pebbles.  It almost felt like sabotage to make me slip.  I crawled my way up the last twenty-five feet, not daring to look down, lest  the mountain take me.  My son and husband were behind me encouraging me on as I painstakingly set one hand and knee in front of the other.  People were lined up behind us wondering what in the world that crazy woman was doing, crawling like a baby.  Perhaps it’s not as important how you make it to the top.  It’s just important that you do.

When I finally stood, knees scraped and hands aching, I was rewarded with the most extraordinary sight.  Before me was a lake so clear you could see the bottom, some 25 feet below, the color as green as a priceless emerald, a reflection of the sky above and the surrounding green trees.  The lake’s shore is made of fragile travertine, dissolved limestone that is deposited on the rocks and logs. Layers and layers guard the shores of this remarkable lake.  A tall, skinny tree had fallen in the middle of the water some years ago, and it was the only object marring the perfection of the otherwise perfect picture.

To sit quietly by the shores of this lake is to hear the sounds of praise from creation.  Black Swifts- the only known population of these rare birds- make their home by Hanging Lake.  To see them float by makes one all the more appreciative of the beauty of this rare and secluded place.

Two waterfalls, 30 to 40 feet high pour into Hanging Lake.  The sound of the water cascading off the ragged cliffs and crashing into the green jewel below is mesmerizing.  I found a little bench where I sat to take in the wonder of this tiny slice of heaven.  I also needed desperately to catch my breath, yet again.  I don’t know how long I sat there, but what I heard changed my heart in ways I’ll never forget.

The voice of nature sings loudly the praises of God.  With every new birth of creation we gain understanding as to the power of the regeneration of Christ when he rose from the tomb some 2000 years ago.

During this season our hearts can hear the joy of creation sing of the glory of God with every sunset, every blooming flower, every thunderstorm and every rainbow. The night stars remind us of his glory and the morning sun shouts his praise.

Never have I felt closer to the heart of God than on that day in Colorado, when I observed, first hand the beauty of God’s world and the song of his creation, beckoning me to believe in his death, burial and resurrection and reminding me that all created things know his song and sing it to the listening ear.

Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise!  Let the earth and all living things join in.  Let the rivers clap their hands in glee!  Let the hills sing out their songs of joy before the Lord.  Psalms 98:7-9, NLV

©2009, Tamra Nashman

After viewing random blogs on CWO I, Sarah, chose Tammy to be May’s ‘Blog Girl of the Month’  Her blog is real and tender on some parts.  I believe that many will benefit from her story.  I really like and admire how she humbly admits her flaws; which is a hard thing for most anyone to do.   I recently followed along her blog to read more about her and have read that she shares with her readers about some of her darkest moments and about God’s grace.  Through this she clings to Christ in the mist of it all.  Praise God for healing power!  Tammy, your site is a blessing and very touching.

Tammy says about herself “I am learning to be content in any situation of life. I love being a wife and mom. I feel honored that God has chosen me to be a part of His Story.”

You can visit her blog at:  Not Mine But God’s Story.

________________

Blog Moderator, Sarah Lopez

Sarah Lopez recently joined CWO as our new blog moderator, and will be searching through blogs each month to find just the right pick.

She is the mother to two small children and the wife to Jesse Lopez.  Both Sarah’s children were miracles of God.  Hannah, her oldest, was born too early weighing in at just 1 ½ pounds, and 2 yrs. later little Jesse was also born a preemie weighing in at 4 pounds.  Even during those worrisome days that she frequented the NICU, Sarah always placed her trust in The Lord, knowing that there is purpose for everything under Heaven.   Both Sarah’s kids are now under elementary age and doing great; showing no signs of ever being premature to begin with.   She praises and thanks God for this daily.

She is just the average mom who has ups and downs like all of us, but sees these ‘roller coaster’ rides as lessons to learn and grow from; trusting that everything is always done through God’s permission only, and therefore she willingly accepts any challenges she may face, knowing that God will see her through them all.

Find out more about Sarah at her blog:

God’s Not Finished With Us Yet

Dondi Scumaci is an international speaker, author, and an expert in professional and personal development. She is well known for her high energy on the platform and for the dramatic results that her seminars inspire. Prior to establishing her consulting firm, Elevations Unlimited, Inc., Dondi was Vice President and Director for two of the largest financial institutions in the United States.

Dondi co-authored Thriving in the Midst of Change and developed Mentoring-in-a-Box, an interactive, self- study tool for mentors and protégés. She is also the author of Designed for Success, a book which helps encourage and advise women in today’s hectic workplace.

Now Dondi’s newest book,  Ready, Set … Grow has made it’s debut! Dondi has dedicated her life’s work to the subjects of women, business, and success. In Ready, Set…Grow! she helps you discover and set your passions free by digging deep into who you are and where you want to go. Full of inspiring examples and practical action steps, Ready, Set…Grow!:

* Realistically confronts the obstacles to living an inspired life
* Encourages and empowers you through personal accountability
* Helps you incorporate the spiritual into your everyday life
* Drives inspiring concepts to practical applications
* And more!

Also, check out this link to a YouTube video of Dondi describing her book: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v1CcNBz-h0

©2009, Jill Hart

Black Forest cake takes a little longer to make than most cakes, but I specifically chose this recipe to remind us to try difficult things.

“Honor thy mother” Exodus 20:12

On mother’s day all children come together and agree it is time to show our mothers honor.  After all it is a commandment of God and none of us would dare disrespect the caretaker God has ordained for our lives.

But what about when Mother’s Day has passed?  Are we really fulfilling the commandment God has given us?

Some would argue that the commandment only applies while we are children.  Not so,  Christ was an example to us while on the cross ensuring that John would take care of his mother.  No time limit.

This is not only a commandment, it is the first commandment with a promise.  “That it may be well with you”  Eph 6:3.

If you really think about this it may be a difficult thing we are being asked to do.  When I informally survey my friends I find a common bond.  Most have mothers that are tolerable at best and few have mothers that would be easy to honor.  I have to ask myself – Is this because our society has encouraged us to marginalize our parents? Or did God know it would be difficult?

Ravi Zacharias, a well known christian apologist, advised that in Hindi when addressing a parent the word for mother or father is said with a reverential implication. The translation would be similar to us saying Father sir, or Mother madam.  Our society doesn’t generally use such terms of respect.

I don’t believe that it is all society’s fault that we don’t honor our mothers.  Truly some have mothers that are difficult to honor.  They have been abusive, neglectful or they haven’t been the parents God called them to be.  Does that let us off the hook?  Can we disregard the commandment because we were dealt a poor hand?  Unfortunately I do not see any scriptural basis to allow this.

I was challenged by TheRebelution.com sponsored by Alex and Brett Harris. These are young Christians leading the charge in a growing movement of Christian young people who are rebelling against the low expectations of their culture by choosing to “do hard things” for the glory of God.

I had to ask myself if honoring your mother is one of those “hard things” that we as adults have neglected. Are we turning a blind eye to a commandment of God because we have less courage than these teens and are unwilling to do the hard thing, honor our mothers?

What does it mean to honor? According to the Greek translation of the word there are a few aspects to the word:

• Give recognition of another’s work
• Respect
• Value Something as precious

Throughout scripture we are reminded of the honor we are to bestow on our heavenly Father.  Proverbs 3:9, Honor the Lord with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all thine increase.

Honoring our mothers is an act of worship.  According to Ravi Zacharias, all worship to God must include: Emotion, reverence, sacrifice and purity of motive.

“Do hard things.”

If you are blessed with the best mom in the world then your task is easy. While I can honestly say my own mother has not been perfect, I am blessed with a gem that is easier to honor than many others I have met.

If God has given you a bit of a challenge I strongly encourage you to “do hard things”.  Find unique and precious ways to show your mother honor not just on mother’s day but everyday that He gives you breath!  By doing so you will not only be honoring God but as promised, “things will be well with you”!

Rich Black Forest Cake

Bake 350°F                                                                           60 – 70 min.

Ingredients:
1-19oz Deep chocolate cake mix              1-4oz. Package chocolate instant pudding
¾ C water                                                      ½ C oil
1 C sour cream                                             4 eggs
3 oz. Semi-sweet chocolate chips                        1 can cherry pie filling
1 pint whip cream

Procedure:
Beat eggs until thick and foamy.  Add oil gradually.  Add remaining ingredients gradually and one at a time, adding sour cream last.  Mix well.  Pour into well-greased Large pan.  Bake.

Cool completely before cutting into 3 layers.  Spread bottom layer with cherry pie filling before adding second layer and repeating.  Add top layer last and frost with sweetened whip cream.

©2009, Bonnie Hooley