My husband and I have struggled with our marriage for many years.

If feel that there is still a love deep down for one another (we have been married

For 22 years), but not the type of love to sustain a marriage.  We have

Both hurt one another very deeply and he is unwilling to forgive.  He has

Used his anger with me to justify having many affairs.  Well I have found

Out that he has fallen in love and wants to build a future with this other woman.

He is unaware that I know.  He is looking to move to a different part of the

State.  I have left everything at the feet of Jesus.  Please join me in praying

That I follow the leadership of Christ and that I allow Him to work in my

Life and the lives of my daughters.

Thank you

My husband, a former Pastor, has given up his church and moved out…saying he is tired of fighting the devil….yes, there is more to this story…too much to put her, but basically it all boils down to him wanting to give up this Christian Life and live in the world. He has filed for divorce and me and my children are totally devastated, along with our church, in which I still attend.  We were married 15 years, have 2 children 9 and 12.  Please pray that God will have mercy on him and lead him back to where he belongs and where God wants him. Thanks so much. 

Sherry

My name is Jenna and I am 23, going to college. I am stuggling and falling behind in school. I am overwhelmed with fear and doubt to the point where it is effecting other areas of my life.  Pray that the Lord will strengthen me, and pour His grace upon me in my time of need.  I’m praying for direction and a lot of help!  Please pray with me.
 
Thank you and God bless you,
 
Jenna

Would you please pray for my grandson Ashton he has been born with a genetic problem and surfers from seizures. He wil get an EEG on Mon. 1/19/09 to see how his medicine is working. Would you pray for his healing and to have great results from the test plus for it to go well physically for him. They will

cause him to have a seizure to check how his medicine and seizures are being controlled. Thank you.

His mother has a friend that just had a child born and needs stomach surgery tomorrow thanks again for joining me in prayer as I will also pray for each person who and God knows the need we are just

doing his will to come boldly before Him and ask.

Please pray for my son. The woman he got pregnant filed false abuse charges on him and her grandma is going to testify against her.

Pray for the baby she just gave birth on Jan. 5^th. She let me see him for an hour and will not let my son see him at all and she has moved out of state with the baby. She took drugs the entire pregnancy and still is taking them 

My son is drinking himself to death and it is killing me. That child needs at least one stable parent.

Thanks

My grandson 2 yrs was in a traffic accident and has traumatic brain injury .  He is not able to hold his head up, talk, use his left side , swallow, any many more things Please put him in your prayers

Devotional Daze is giving away a beautiful Bible & some other goodies on her Devotional Daze blog! Contest runs through Tuesday January 13th, 2009. Check it out for your chance to win.

Visit: Devotoional Daze

My name is Tasha and my grandma needs a lot of prayer right now.

Well on Christmas day she had 4 Heart attacks, and she crashed for 10 mins.
We would’ve lost her if they didnt bring her back. They said she has 2 ruptured lungs,and she doesn’t  have much oxygen to her brain.

They put her back on the breathing machine.

Her eyes are now set she doesn’t move her eyes they’re just looking in one spot, and she now can’t move her hands or anything and doesn’t respond to anything, or to anybody.

Yesterday The Doctors got the family together, and told us we were gonna have to make some strong decisions. We had to make the decision when we want them take the breahthing machine off. After they take the tube out they will only do cpr to get heart back going and that’s it.

So We Need many prayers that we can get for her. Shes a Christian lady. reads her bible and prays every day and goes to church everytime church doors are open. Shes Been the best nana and shes like a 2nd mother to me.

Thanks.

Please pray for Kathy who just found out she has a brain tumor.  Please pray for her appointment with the neurosurgeon and for her family.

Thanks, 

Stephanie

I just wanted to take the time out & pray that my boyfriend of two years will go to the doctor for swallon lymph noads in which he refuses to go the first time I mentioned it. He’s 25 & I am 22. His name is Robert, his fears of going to the doctor are from his mother dieing in the hospital of cancer, she had breast cancer at first than the doctors were able to get rid of it, well then it traveled to her brain somehow & she passed away after that.

Mandy

It’s been a year already? Seems like we just finished putting the angel to bed, and we’ve had to unpack her again. Minutes quickly turn to hours—hours to days, and just like that another year has gone by.

We’re celebrating our third Christmas online at CWO, by offering words of inspiration that we pray will turn our hearts toward the Reason for the Season—our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

P31 woman, Renee Swope joins us for an interview with our newest addition to the CWO team, Sunny Shell. Sunny talks with Renee about family, faith, ministry, and her favorite holiday traditions. This ray of sunshine has already played a key role at CWO for several months by upholding our ministry in prayer. Thank you, Sunny! We look forward to reading the interviews you’ll be bringing to CWO.

We also welcome two other writers to the CWO team this month, who because of their online presence, are known to many of you—authors Marybeth Whalen and Sandy Coughlin join us.

Marybeth’s column will lead readers on a path to financial freedom, while Sandy’s “Ask Sandy” column offers practical solutions to common entertaining dilemmas. Both columns are a must read this Christmas.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. –Luke 11:10-14

Blessings,

Founder and Editor,
Christian Women Online Magazine
“Uniting Women of Faith”

Read my column—Live Well! 
My blog: Darlene Schacht.com

CWO monthly columnist, Candace Cameron Bure, is on the cover of US Weekly discussing her weight loss success! Look for it in stores now.

Candace, who grew up in the stick-thin environment of Hollywood told US Weekly that her parents, “shielded me from that kind of pressure [weight loss]. It was important that I knew my value as a person and never struggled with my image on the outside.” Being 132 pounds at her heaviest, weight was never as much of a focus to Candace as feeling good about herself–both inside and out. Her focus these days is centered around family and faith, and at 110 pounds, Candace is content being the size that she is. 

Candace shares her weight loss story with readers, telling them how she lost 22 pounds and how you can lose weight too.  Candace has shared many weight loss tips with CWO readers in her monthly column Candid Candace. If you missed them–don’t worry–you can always find them here at CWO in “Candid Candace: The Q’s and A’s of Growing with God.” 

Read some of Candace’s weight loss articles:

“Giving Your Food Issues to God”

“The Secret to Staying Slim and Healthy”

Congratulations on the weight loss, Candace. You look great!

Watch a behind the scenes video of Candace at the US Weekly photo shoot:
http://www.usmagazine.com/news/candace-cameron-video 

Visit Candace at her website: CandaceCameronBure.net

This news is so good; you won’t want to take it standing up! Sitting down? Good, because what I’m going to tell you this month can change the way you eat, and as a result–the way you look. The best part of it is that this transformation of body and mind will take place in the comfort of your favorite chair. Sound easy? It is! 

Do you realize just how often you eat on your feet? Most of us don’t realize it, but when we stop to count the many times we graze without thought we discover that we’ve picked up a small meal here and there without consideration. 

Do any of the following sound familiar? 

• Samples at the grocery store
• A cold pop sitting on the counter while you tend to housework
• A flavored coffee while you shop
• Tasting a few bites here and there while cooking dinner
• Grabbing a candy from your purse
• Grazing the table at a party
• Accepting the “try one of these…” from a friend
• Grabbing a cookie on the run

This type of weight gain brings the old catch phrase to mind “Your eyes are bigger than your stomach,” which isn’t just a snarky remark to toss out at a buffet line—it’s an accurate description of most human beings. If we aren’t visually satisfied with the volume we see on our plate, we aren’t satisfied with our meal, regardless of whether we’re comfortably full or not.

With any reasonable diet, you’re looking at calories-in verses calories-out, whether they’re referred to as “calories” or “points” it’s just basic math. The problems that we face when it comes to this simple equation is that we either choose to ignore the small numbers in hopes that our bodies failed math 101, or we feel cheated when it comes to mealtime because we’re facing a deficit in our account. Been there? I have—today in fact, but I’m waking up and pressing on, with a constant reminder that I am not a slave to the flesh.

Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. –Romans 8:12,13 KJV

The solution is to offer your body meals that are appealing to those over-sized eyes, yet not so appealing that we break the bank. How do we do this? We behave and we save. A good way to save is by sitting down each and every time we eat. If you feel like grabbing a cookie at 3:00 pm, then do so, but put that cookie on a plate in the kitchen for inclusion in your snack or meal plan. Want an apple at 3:30? Fine, but do the same—put the apple beside the cookie, and wait for your designated time to sit down and eat. Whether you’re eating at 5:00 with the family, or waiting for that physical sign of hunger, you can rest knowing that the cookie and apple are waiting in the kitchen for you. Remember, they don’t have legs—they’re not going anywhere!

By grouping our food into set meals, we combat a two-fold internal struggle we face:

1. Feeling of deprivation
2. The “I have a poverty stricken diet” mindset
    

When it’s finally mealtime, fill your plate once and sit down to eat. By placing the cookie and the apple alongside your meal, you have visual confirmation that you have enough. You may even find that you’re not hungering for that cookie anymore, and so you’ll return it to the jar.

That’s a good thing!  

Once you’re sitting down, stay seated. There’s no reason that you need to run back to the kitchen for seconds. If you filled your plate well the first time, and you feel comfortably full, you’ve had enough. That second plate of food is a sure-fire way of depleting your account.

Drink a cup of tea or sip on some water for a bit while your food does its thing, then get up from the table and walk away from the food. Remember it takes about 20 minutes for the body to message the brain that you’re full, but it will!

Lust comes in all colors and sizes, ladies. It might be a mink coat for one, a man for another, and a fudge brownie for you. Regardless of how we slice it—our bodies are constantly combating lust.

The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, “If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna! –Numbers 11:4-6, NIV

Just because we live with a longing for food, that doesn’t mean that our appetite has the power to control us. We can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens us—amen? Amen! Start eating this way today, and I trust that you’ll see a difference in your mentality immediately.

And while you’re sitting, there’s just one other little thing I encourage you to do. It’s truly one of the best motivational tools that I have, and I want to share this secret with you. Grab a pen and paper or a recipe card right now, and start writing a list. List the reasons why you want to lose weight, which may include things like:

• I’ll feel younger.
• I’ll look prettier.
• I’ll be healthier.
• I’ll feel confident.
• I can wear a bathing suit next summer.
• I’ll buy regular-sized clothing.
• I’ll gain self-control.

Some of you may have written a list like this when we started out, and if so that’s great, I hope you refer to it often. What I encourage you to do—and what I do—is read the list every single morning, and again once or twice throughout the day. Every day that I do this I find that I am stronger than the days that I don’t. In fact I had a busy morning today, forgot to read the list, and therefore I’ve encountered a bit of slippage this evening. But as I’m writing, I’m remembering the reasons why I want to Live Well!

Read more articles like this in my monthly column, “Live Well!”

God has been so gracious and kind to allow me the privilege of interviewing a precious sister in the Lord.

Renee Swope was born in New Orleans, and raised in North Carolina since she was twelve. During her senior year in college, she fell “head-over-heels” in love with our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, and her life has never been the same.

Although Renee felt God call her to share her story of how He used her journey through depression and a myriad of other trials to draw her to His Son, for the next ten years, she kept her personal story a secret because she feared rejection. But in 1999, Renee mortified that part of her flesh that told her she couldn’t do it and proclaimed God’s promises as she fully surrendered to the Lord and prayed, “Okay Lord, I will trust You. I will tell Your story. Even to just one, even to a small Bible study and even if You call me to a share with a larger group. I will do whatever You want me to do for You have set my heart free! I want to be a display of Your splendor, not my own.”

With this proclamation of full surrender and trust in God, Renee willingly participated in the Master’s work as He refined and shaped her into a gifted speaker who engages her audience with the raw realities of life, personal struggles, and victories in Christ Jesus. She does all this without watering down the Gospel and its message of humility, repentance and gratitude that comes with saving faith.

From the very beginning of her story of how God revealed His will for her in 1989, to witnessing His plan come to fruition ten years later; she shares with us how she’s still learning, and still growing. With child-like awe, Renee continues to be wooed and amazed by our sovereign Father God’s intimate love, comfort and guidance He provides for each of His children. Through her role as a wife, mom, speaker and staff member at Proverbs 31 Ministries, she feels that she is living out her life passage, Isaiah 63:1-3.

I am delighted to share this interview with you as this is the time of year where all God’s children contemplate why we are here and why we celebrate our Savior’s birth.

And now, I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce to you, our precious sister Renee Swope, daughter of the Lord God Most High, married to her best friend, J.J., mother of two blessings: Joshua (13) and Andrew (11).

Renee is an author, speaker and co-host of Proverbs 31 Ministries’ radio show, and also serves as Executive Director of Radio, Speaking and Devotions.

Renee, would you share with us how you first got connected with Proverbs 31 Ministries?

After my husband accepted a job offer in Charlotte, NC, my mom, who didn’t even live in Charlotte, happened to find the Charlotte Observer Sunday newspaper in her driveway. There was a huge article in the “Faith and Family” section about a few women in Charlotte who were college grads that decided to become stay-at-home moms and start a ministry to encourage other SAHMs. It was called The Proverbs 31 Homemaker.

My mom cut out the article and placed a sticky note on it that read, “These sound like the kind of friends you need. I hope you find them when you get to Charlotte.”

Aren’t moms great!? Well, I decided not to wait until we moved to Charlotte to find a friend. I needed advice for where we could find an apartment, a pediatrician and a church. My heart was especially drawn to one of the women in the article because her husband owned a Chick-fil-A and she was expecting a baby in May. I had worked at Chick-fil-A in high school and I was pregnant with our first child around and due in May, too. With these two things in common I thought it was surely a sign that we were meant to be friends!

I called 411 to get a number for the TerKeurst family. I still can’t believe I did that. Lysa answered the phone, and I blabbered to her the whole story. She probably thought I was some lunatic but she was so sweet and offered the name of her pediatrician, suggested some areas of Charlotte to consider for apartments and encouraged me to call her when we got to town.

Wow Renee, that’s an incredible story of God’s providential care in your entire move to Charlotte! I’m constantly in awe of how God connects His children together, even before we ever meet in person. In what capacity did you serve/work at first with Proverbs 31 Ministries?

A few weeks after we moved to Charlotte, I called Lysa again. We had lunch at Chick-fil-A of course, and became friends over chicken nuggets, sweet tea and two sweet babies who were born just a week apart. I learned all about the ministry and the women involved. It was small at the time, with a newsletter circulation of about 75 family and friends.

That day she mentioned the editor was transitioning out of her role and they needed someone to fill it. I had publishing experience so I told her that I might be able to help.

She’s such a great recruiter! I started volunteering for the ministry in September 1995, working from home. Each month I’d collect articles and cut out clip art to paste in the layouts. We’d copy the newsletter at Kinko’s and meet in one of our homes to put labels and postage on them for our monthly mailing. We didn’t have a website or email back then! It’s amazing what God has done and how He has used very ordinary women to reach women across the world in extraordinary ways (now 13 years later) through our website, magazine, radio, online devotionals, speakers and so much more.

Chicken nuggets, sweet tea and two babies – sounds like another wonderful speaking topic on friendship and how to work in ministry together! I love your one-minute radio spots! How do you come up with the topics and what to say in just one minute that would bring the greatest impact to women on a specific topic?

Thanks! I love it when someone tells us that the one-minute we have to speak into a woman’s heart really does make a difference. Our goal for the Proverbs 31 radio show is to help a woman pause in the middle of her busy day to get a sense of God’s peace, purpose and perspective. First, I try to put myself in a woman’s everyday setting; imagining where she will be when she hears the show: running errands, on the way to work, at her desk, driving carpool, or hurrying home. Second, I think about lessons God’s taught me over the weeks leading up to my deadline i.e., what I’m worried about, what I’m learning in my marriage, what I’m struggling with, how I’m enjoying my relationship with God or a friend, and how I’m trying to balance my role as wife, mom and a working woman. Blogging also helps me think of show ideas. Reading through my posts reminds me of what God’s been doing in my life. I also love reading women’s comments and their blogs because they show me where women are and what we all need for encouragement.

Renee, that’s really amazing how God has helped you tailor a one-minute radio spot to speak to numerous women who need to hear His voice through you. I’m encouraged by your prayers and intentional effort you make to impact our daily lives with the truth of Christ in only one minute. Thank you so much!

What came first, your speaking ministry or your role in the Proverbs 31 Ministry?

My role with Proverbs 31 Ministries came first. I joined the staff as the editor of the newsletter in 1995 and served in that role until 1999. Later, I sensed God calling me to transition into a volunteer role with less time commitment. It was very hard at first! I missed being part of the staff, but I also knew it was what God wanted and what I needed. For the next two years, I served in various capacities which included: promotions, helping with office administration and fundraising projects. But mostly, I spent my kids’ nap times digging deep into God’s Word and letting Him dig deep into my heart in a way I never had before. I would write down Scriptures and journal about everything God was teaching me. I learned so much about Him and His heart toward me. I learned to find my identity in Who He was and what He had done, instead of seeking to feel significant based on what I could do or who I was. That was an important process for me, as it is for each of us; to find value in Christ alone.

I’m so thankful you listened to the Lord, even when you didn’t quite understand all the reasons. I know many sisters in Christ have greatly benefited from your obedience. How did your speaking ministry begin?

My speaking ministry started through my home church. During my “digging deep” season, I offered to write a small topical Bible study that tied in with a 3-part series of supper seminars my pastor’s wife had taught. The leaders had been praying for a gift to give the attendees of the seminars, and asked me to write the Bible study. At the end of the last supper seminar, 1000 copies were given away. In the spring, I was asked to teach a class based on the study I’d written. The next fall, I wrote another study and taught two more series. That was my first speaking experience. During the summer of 2001, I attended the Proverbs 31 Ministries first annual She Speaks Conference. At the end of this conference, P31 offered a certification process for those who felt called to speak. It was such a natural fit. For the first few years, God grew me and my messages through local opportunities which included: continuing to teach at my church, speaking to women’s small groups, and occasionally speaking at local dinner events and MOPs groups.

I love how God takes our offerings (your offer to write the Bible study) to help others, and uses our token of love to birth His greater purpose for us. What is your role in the P31 “She Speaks” Conference and how did this conference come about?

I am a part of the P31 leadership planning team and one of the speakers at our She Speaks Conference for women’s ministry leaders, speakers, writers and bloggers. The first She Speaks Conference was held in 2001 to equip and encourage women in their calling to share the story God is telling through their lives based on Proverbs 31:26, “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Our whole team and staff speak and/or serve at this annual life-changing event that we host in the Charlotte, NC area each year.

When it became obvious God was calling you into a speaking ministry, how did you choose the 10 topics you would speak on?

Every one of my topics is birthed and developed in my heart through life experience and whatever God is teaching me. My messages reflect my greatest struggles, desires and passions: reading God’s Word and making it come alive in my heart and in my everyday relationships; hearing, recognizing and listening to God’s voice and not the enemy’s accusations; living a purpose-filled and balanced life; developing authentic and Christ-centered friendships that complete and not compete; being a purpose-driven mom; bringing out God’s best in my kids and my husband by being their greatest encourager; experiencing the power of prayer and praise in my everyday life. Wow, I thought having 10 topics was too many. Maybe I need to add more!

I noticed that you’ll be adding three (3) more great topics to your speaking ministry: What Happens When Women Pray, Living Waters: Receive, Rest, Renew and Remain and Without a Doubt: Living Confidently in Christ. Would you please share with us how and why God led you to speak about these new topics and when you’ll begin offering them?

Oh, you saw that I am adding more already. I’ve started offering my new topics for events that are booked for 2009 and 2010. All of them were birthed through life lessons that I’ve learned over the past couple of years.

What Happens When Women Pray is a retreat where we unpack some powerful truths and life lessons Jesus taught about prayer. We also talk about what it looks like to live a life defined by conversations with God – where we talk to Him and listen to Him in what I call “all-throughout-my-day prayers” and then we talk about what happens when we stop talking and start walking out what He has revealed to us through prayer in our relationships with our family, our friends, and those we work and serve alongside.

Living Waters: Receive, Rest, Renew and Remain is a retreat where we first talk about positioning ourselves daily to RECEIVE what God wants to give us through a “really knowing me” kind of relationship with Christ where we find all that we’ve ever wanted: unconditional love, assurance, acceptance, and grace. Only then can we REST in Him. We can stop worrying and live rested instead of rest-less lives as we learn to follow His lead and take on His burdens while trusting Him with ours. In the next session we RENEW our minds with His truth and live like we BELIEVE HIM! We close the retreat by discussing the need to REMAIN in a constant place of dependence on Christ – allowing Him to live His life in us and through us so that we can do all things through Him who gives us strength, peace, joy and purpose.

Without a Doubt: Living Confidently in Christ is my newest retreat topic. This message was birthed through my own exhausting battle with doubt and based on victory I found in God’s word from one of my favorite stories in Judges 6 about Gideon. Through it I’ve learned: how to see myself the way God sees me, how to be encouraged by God’s promise to always give me His presence and power, and how to trust Him to become who He’s called me to be, and defeat my own enemies of doubt and fear. Doubt has been a struggle for most of my life and I never realized it’s a struggle for almost all women. I’m excited to be able to talk and teach about it from God’s Word so we can overcome its destructive power and live confidently in Christ!

AMEN to that sister! These new topics are just as fabulous as your original ten! There are many women who really need to hear the messages of hope in Christ alone–in spite of our temporal circumstances and fears.

I’m very interested in your workbook entitled: Shaped with Purpose. Would you please share a little bit about this workbook?

I wrote my Shaped with Purpose workbook after my own 2-year journey of discovering and then embracing God’s purpose for my life, instead of living out everyone else’s purposes for me. It’s a 25-page guide to help a woman discover and understand the one-of-a-kind woman she is; designed by God with a unique blend of spiritual gifts, heart’s desires, abilities, personality and experiences that shape His calling and purpose for her life.

Thank you once again for your faithfulness to our Lord, His calling on your life and your willingness to be so transparent for Christ’s glory! Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you something very personal. I understand that you’re in the process of adopting a daughter (or two) between the ages of 4 – 10 from Ethiopia. Can you tell us how God revealed His will to you in this area, your first reaction, any challenges and/or victories in Christ along the way?

In October 2008, I spoke at a women’s conference with my dear friend Lysa TerKeurst. When we got there I bought a t-shirt that said: “Live Dangerously ~ Christ’s love moves me to extremes (2 Corinthians 5:14)“.

I had no idea how prophetic that quote would be over the next 24 hours. That day, I had this deep sense that God had brought my life full circle. Later I sat in the audience listening to Lysa teach her message, “What Happens When Women say Yes to God.” Although I’d heard her stories, and even lived some of them with her, I sensed God was not giving me a review of Lysa’s story; He was giving me a preview of my own.

You see, my husband J.J. had been praying for almost three years that God would give me the same desire he had to adopt. During Lysa’s last message God clearly spoke to my heart about my fears. He answered every concern with huge confirmations through Lysa. And in my heart I knew He wanted me to give away the kind of love I had been given when I was adopted as His child through Jesus Christ.

I opened my heart and my hands and asked Him to remove my fears and fill them with His peace. Immediately, I closed my eyes and the face of a little girl with chocolate brown skin appeared in my mind. I knew God was telling me to go home and share with J.J. that God was calling us to adopt a daughter (or two) from Africa. My heart emptied of all fears and filled with joy as I said “Yes, Lord. I will!”

Soon after I said “Yes!”, I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to my soul, “You can trust Me. It is done.” I strongly sensed God had gone before us and prepared the way. In the days that followed He revealed what He had already done.

1. God provided money – we found out that my husband’s company reimburses $10K per child in adoption expense.
2. God provided time – we got our paperwork done quickly.
3. God provided direction – my friend Deanna called that week to tell me they were adopting three children from Ethiopia which happened to be the country we were leaning towards because we sponsor a girl from Ethiopia through Compassion International. That same week J.J. found out his co-worker, who is a Christian, was born and raised in Ethiopia. Both women have been such a source of encouragement and prayer.

We are a year into the process and still waiting. This fall we thought we’d found the two girls God wanted us to adopt, but there was a miscommunication and another family is adopting them. I was so sad and felt as if I had a miscarriage. But something beautiful happened in my heart through that loss. God showed me how to love them through prayer and let go of them through a letter I shared on my blog. Even through all of the ups and downs God’s given us incredible peace. We know that what has already been done in Heaven will, in God’s perfect timing, be done on earth.

I thank you deeply for being so transparent with us–allowing us to see right through you and your pain, so we can see the goodness and sovereignty of Jesus our Lord. Your letter to Shasho and Zenie was used by God to exhort me not be afraid to be real in my pain, while still trusting our sovereign and good LORD.

On a bit of a “lighter”, yet important note, would you please share some Christmas traditions you and your husband have implemented in your family to keep Christ the center of Christmas?

We hide all of the “baby Jesus” figures so that our mangers are not complete until Christmas morning. Also, we don’t open our gifts until after Christmas breakfast, so that we can give gifts from our hearts to Jesus. We set a place for Jesus at the table and give Him our red “You are Special” plate. We have small candle holders clipped to each plate and as we go around telling what gift we want to give from our hearts to God and each other, we light our candles.

It’s so special! Now, I have to admit that this was not a popular new tradition when I suggested it a few years ago, but now we love it! Our hearts are in such a sweet place once we go to the tree to open our gifts. Plus it makes the day and the fun last so much longer.

I love this tradition! I can see how it would set a person’s heart and mind in preparation for the real Reason why Christians celebrate Christmas. In closing, do you have a Scripture verse or passage that God has recently laid on your heart that you’d like to share?

I was recently re-reading the story about Mary, finding out God wanted her be the mother of His Son (Luke 1:28-38). Mary responded with complete surrender to God’s calling, making herself available, because she knew that above all else she was “the Lord’s servant.” Then she answered with confident faith: “May it be to me as He has said.” At the moment Mary declared that she was a woman who not only believed in God, but really BELIEVED God!!! God not only used her faith, He honored her faith.

He brought another woman (Elizabeth) into her life that would remind Mary of God’s favor. Elizabeth celebrated and encouraged Mary’s faith when she exclaimed: “Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.” (v.45) I want to be a woman who believes God, and also a friend who encourages others to live like they believe Him, too! “For I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.” (2 Tim.1:12b)

You’re an inspiration, dear sister. Thank you so much, Renee, for taking the time to allow us the privilege to have a glimpse of how God is faithfully completing His work that He begun in you. May the Lord our God bless you and your family with a Christmas filled with His miracles!

Visit Renee at:
Proverbs 31 Ministries Proverbs 31 Radio Ministry

©2008, Sunny Shell

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About the Author:
Sunny Shell

Sunny’s been an oddball her entire life! Raised in Alexandria, Virginia in the early 1970’s, she was the only Christian, in an immigrant, Korean-Buddhist household, where she is the youngest of three children.

When she was only four years old, the Lord of hosts, miraculously provided for a bus to pick her up every Sunday to take her to church, where she first heard the Good News of Jesus Christ, so that she might intimately know His agape love for her. And this truly was the best and greatest news she’d ever heard….and it still is!

Sunny is in the process of writing her first Bible Study entitled  A Wife’s Biblical Submission which she is currently teaching online. She has been a guest contributor for the Internet Café Devotions and is a monthly contributor for At The Well.

Visit her website:

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If there’s one thing Boomer Babes have in common, it’s the realization that time flies more quickly the older we get. Although other generations may echo this sentiment, it seems to me that boomers tend to be more acutely aware not only of the speed with which time passes, but also of the inherent value of time itself.

When I decided the theme for my 2008 CWO column would be FREEDOM, I had no idea how God would use our time together throughout the course of the year. As 2008 began, I wasn’t certain how I was going to come up with new stories to share every month, centered on freedom to be all God intends us to be. I knew only that it was a theme placed on my heart, and that God would make a way.

And make a way He most assuredly did. Your emails about the FREEDOM theme touched my heart. Thank you for reading and for responding. Yet even though Scripture teaches us in John 8:32 that, “…the truth will set you free,” it seems many of us still struggle with issues of bondage in some form or another. We are not living lives of freedom. Many of my Boomer Babe sisters tell me they believe freedom from bondage is possible through what Jesus Christ did for us on the Calvary cross, yet in many ways, they still live as captives in chains. Many of my Boomer Babe sisters are in bondage to people, places, things, behaviors, attitudes, habits, and choices. We are letting time pass us by, never fully experiencing the true joy of life.

This past year Harvest House Publishers released my newest non-fiction book focused on finding hope and healing for those of us struggling with dysfunctional adult children. Although I suspected it was an epidemic issue when I conducted the research for the book and wrote it, I had no way to predict how readers would respond to Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children. After eleven months of availability at bookstores around the country, the sales figures continue to climb. It seems the 6 Steps to SANITY have struck a chord with readers.

I speak to fellow Boomer Babes every day who share the sheer frustration of so many out-of-control life situations. I call it living on “the gerbil wheel of a dizzy life,” when we continue to go ‘round and ‘round and ‘round, with no end in sight. Many call it INSANITY, when we repeat the same actions and behaviors and expect different results.

Are you ready to STOP THE INSANITY? If another year has flown by and you find yourself still … (fill in the blank) I’m inviting you to join me throughout the next twelve months as we take the concept of freedom to a higher level. Let’s work together to find SANITY!

I want to let you in on a little known secret that I personally discovered as I applied the 6 Steps to SANITY to my relationship with my adult son. I discovered that the same 6 Steps to SANITY apply to just about every area of life! I’ve learned so many amazing lessons this past year as I have journeyed on the road to SANITY. Please join me in 2009 as I share SANITY with you. What it means, why we don’t have it, why Satan wants to keep us from acquiring it, and most vital, how we can get it!

That said, I’m going to leave you with my list of the top ten things I learned this past year. Here’s to a blessed Holy Season and to a beautiful New Year!

The Top Ten Things I Learned in 2008

10. We can apply the 6 Steps to SANITY in all areas of life, not just in relationships with our adult children.

9. We enable far more people in life than our adult children.

8. Everyone has been placed here for such a time as this. We all have a story to tell.

7. Whether that story is for one, one hundred, one thousand, or more, it’s a story that must be told.

6. If we don’t pursue the dreams of our heart, no one will.

5. Living a life of FREEDOM in Christ is not passive. It requires ongoing active choices.

4. The most important things in life are not things.

3. The choices we make change the story of our life.

2. God will always make a way where there seems to be no way.

…and the drum roll please….the Number One thing I learned in 2008…

1. God is in control. Always has been and always will be.

Until next year, dear Boomer Babes who Rock, may the good Lord bless and keep you all!

Allison Bottke

www.AllisonBottke.com

www.BoomerBabesRock.com

www.SettingBoundaries.com

This Christmas my family is preparing to move to a new state to start a new church. The opportunity is an answer to prayer and something we are very much looking forward to, but packing to sell a house during the holidays can take a bit of the shine out of Christmas decorating. While we won’t be spending much time decking our halls with boughs of holly, we can dress up our holiday table in record time with a few creative touches. 

Here are some simple things you can use to take your table from ordinary to festive! 

• Candy Canes
  Put candy canes in potted plants, vases or jars for an instant centerpiece or decorations.
• Cinnamon Sticks
  Tie a pretty ribbon around a small bundle of cinnamon sticks to add an aromatic and festive touch to your holiday table-settings.
• Cookie cutters
  Simply set them around on the table or on plates for holiday fun.
• Cranberries
  Fill glass jars with cranberries and add votives! 
• Napkin rings
  Tie ribbon, sprigs of holly, snips of evergreen, or pinecones around your napkins for a finishing touch. Or if you are feeling crafty you can make napkin rings out of paper towels tubes…simply cover with paper and embellish.

It is so easy to lose the joy of the season and become a Scrooge when life throws curves in our plans! But just like the humble manger where Jesus was born, Christmas decor doesn’t have to be perfect or elaborate to be special and meaningful. Remember the reason for the season.

…and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. –Luke 2:7 NIV

“’Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.’ For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.” (Mark 6:31)

My prayer for this holiday season is that you find the One who came so long ago, born in a manger.  Satan would love to fill our calendars with things to do, people to see, “important” tasks to complete, but this is not what the Lord had intended when we remember the birth of His Son. 

Carve out time to read or re-read the Real Christmas Story (Luke 2) this Christmas season. Then if you have some extra time, grab something hot to drink along with a warm blanket and may I suggest one of these books below? 

Robin Jones Gunn has a wonderful Christmas book to help you get into the true meaning of Christmas. Neta Jackson helps us remember the ones who are homeless and may not be celebrating Christmas like the rest of us. Megan DiMaria, gives us a humorous look at having teenagers during the Christmas season. Susan Meissner reminds us of many who lost their lives professing the name of Jesus.  Lauraine Snelling will grab your heartstrings with her must read book; everyone needs to be an organ donor. And if you are looking for a great devotional for this upcoming New Year, Tammy B Melton has one that will tantalize each one of your senses.  I highly recommend each one of these books!

I pray you and your family have a Merry Christmas.  See you in 2009!

Engaging Father Christmas
By Robin Jones Gunn
Faithwords
155 pages

Miranda Carson returns to England with hopes of a possible engagement to her boyfriend, Ian.  Miranda spent her childhood longing for a place to call home and she is hoping Carlton Heath will be it.  Miranda, who grew up not knowing who her father was, recently found out she was the daughter of a Sir James Whitcomebe.  Shortly after Miranda arrives in Carlton Heath, Ian receives a call that his father has had a heart attack.  Suddenly all the plans that Miranda and Ian had were put on hold.

Miranda is who is trying to find her place in her new found family, the Whitcombe’s.  Being the illegitimate daughter of Sir James Whitcombe, the Whitcombe family is trying to adjust to this new family member.  

Robin Jones Gunn does it again!  She captivates you with a story, while showing you the heart of Christ.  This wonderful Christmas book will lead you to the arms of Father Christmas.  If you need an excellent Christmas book to get you into the true meaning of Christmas, be sure to pick up Engaging Father Christmas.  Run, don’t walk to read this book this Christmas season.

Where Do I Go?
A Yada Yada House of Hope Novel
By Neta Jackson
Thomas Nelson
370 pages

If you are a fan of Neta Jackson’s Yada Yada book series, you are going to love her new book.  Gabrielle’s husband Phillip was offered a job of a lifetime, but to pursue it they have to move to Chicago and away from everything familiar.  Living in a penthouse on Chicago’s lakeshore, Gabrielle had everything she could ever wish for material wise, but at the same time her marriage was falling apart.

While walking along Chicago’s lakeshore, she has a chance encounter with a homeless woman.  Through this homeless woman Gabrielle is introduced to a woman’s shelter needing a program director.  Gabby has finally found what God had in mind for her all along.  What Gabby was not prepared for is her husband’s ultimatum to either quit her job or get out!  Where does one turn, when every thing is taken away from you? 

This book opens the reader’s eyes to the wonderful work many homeless shelter workers perform.  Neta Jackson also reminds us life does not always have the “happily ever after” we dream of.  When everything is taken away from Gabby she remembers a song she recently learned, “Where do I go when there’s no one else to turn to? . . . I go to the Rock I know that’s able, I go to the Rock.”

Out of Her Hands
By Megan DiMaria
Tyndale
326 pages

As a parent we all have dreams of how life is going to be like when are kids are older.  What if those dreams are all blown out of the water?  Out of Her Hands is a humorous book of a mother struggling with the less than perfect future daughter-in-law her son brings home. 

Linda Revere’s son, Nick, brings home his dream girl, Amber.  Unfortunately Amber is not what Linda had been praying for, for her son.  Linda feels like she is losing control of everything around her.  Linda is still recovering from the loss of her mother-in-law, whom she was very close to.  At the same time, juggling her job as the manager of a successful photography studio, and being mother to her two children who are in the midst of romance.  She finds herself turning to her best friend during this time only to learn her friend will be moving away.  Linda learns when everything is spinning out of control God is still in control. 

For a Mom with a teenage son, I found the book hilarious.  It is also a great reminder that God’s will for our kids is not necessarily the plans we, as parents, have envisioned. 

The Shape of Mercy
By Susan Meissner
Waterbrook Press
305 pages

Lauren Durough is a daughter of privilege.  She grew up with the knowledge that her father has longed for a son and therefore she did everything she could to distance herself from her family’s wealth.  She bucked tradition and went to a state run college instead of a prestigious university.  Being tired of her father’s handouts, she decided to seek outside employment.  As an English major she pursues an advertised position as a transcriber for an elderly, retired librarian.

Lauren meets with her potential employer, Abigail Boyles, to interview for the position.  She finds that the job entails transcribing a diary written by late Mercy Hayworth, a woman accused of witchcraft during the Salem witch trials.  Mercy, Lauren and Abigial’s lives are changed forever through the journey of the transcription.  Learning to see other through the Father’s eyes is the beginning of seeing mercy. 

I could not put The Shape of Mercy down after I read the first page.  Each of the three women taught me a valuable lesson.  This book will warm your heart while making you want to dig deeper into history.

One Perfect Day
By Lauraine Snelling
Faithwords
303 pages

Nora Peterson’s twins are seniors in high school and she has planned the perfect Christmas for them.  Christi and Charlie are fraternal twins with the invisible bond that many twins experience.  Christi is budding artist and during this holiday season Charlie is playing one of Santa’s elves.  The holiday season is moving perfectly until a tragic accident shakes the Peterson’s home and threatens to overwhelm them.

Jenna Montgomery is a single mother who works as an emergency room nurse.  This Christmas season she only has one wish, finding her daughter a new heart.  Jenna’s daughter Heather has been living with a weak heart and becomes weaker each passing day.  Right before Christmas, God gives them the miracle they had been praying for, a new hope for life.

I did not think I would enjoy One Perfect Day as much as I did.  When you predict what is going to happen it takes some of the anticipation out of a book, but Lauraine Snelling kept me on the edge of my seat with each turning page.  My heart broke, my heart rejoiced!  It was a difficult book to read, especially being a mother of teenagers myself, but Lauraine Snelling has shown once again that God can handle whatever we have to dish out.  God never leaves us, especially during the darkest times and sometimes when God answers our prayers, he not only answers them but blows our minds.

Loving God with All Five Senses
By Tammy B Melton
231 pages

If you are looking for a good devotional style book, Loving God with All Five Senses is a great one to consider.  Each devotional begins with an introduction to that day’s topic, then there is a “Going Deeper” section and concludes with a time in prayer.  Tammy Melton leads us through loving God with our sense of taste, our sense of touch, sense of sight, sense of hearing, and even our sense of smell.   Loving God with all Five Senses helps the reader draw closer to God.

Tammy Melton is a speaker, author, and the founder of Legacy Ministries for Christ.

Therefore, brethren, stand fast, and hold the traditions which ye have been taught, whether by word, or our epistle.

(2 Thessalonians 2:15 KJV)

“Holiday traditions” is a statement that is echoed at this time of year. Just hearing these words drums up warm memories in most of our hearts.

Traditions are powerful and are created when we repeat actions or behaviors. Through tradition we pass down beliefs, customs and practices from generation to generation. What we inherited through tradition may last many years to come. What we start as tradition may also continue.

The celebration of Christmas is a long honored tradition among Christians and non-Christians. Some of our strongest Christmas traditions are practiced in the kitchen. You don’t have to listen too long to hear “Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without …” (For me it is mom’s stuffing!)

Because our food traditions can be so powerful, Bonnie’s Kitchen is challenging you this Christmas season to examine the traditions you hold dear. Do they honor Christ or have they, as Mark warns, made the word of God of no effect (7:13)?

If your traditions are not bringing Glory to God – you have two options.

• Scrap them and start new ones.
• Turn the tradition into something that honors God.

Like many, a secular friend of mine traditionally celebrated Thanksgiving with a huge feast while surrounded by family. One year he looked around and noticed that there were many in his circle of acquaintances that didn’t have family to celebrate with. He changed his tradition that year by celebrating Thanksgiving with the “orphans.” Now he watches throughout the year for people who might be alone and gathers them together in his home for a giant Thanksgiving celebration. He tells me Thanksgiving is a blast!

I was touched by his act of kindness. If the world can show such love on a secular holiday – how much more can I offer when I have God’s love in me?

What traditions are you modeling for the eyes that watch you?

• A frantic shopper spending hours looking for the right gift to give?
• Or a peaceful servant giving time to during the holidays?
• Are you baking up a storm to keep the traditional family recipes alive?
• Or are you sharing your cooking and baking with others?

There are two great commandments:

• Love God above all others.
• Love your neighbor as yourself.

If your time honored traditions are accomplishing one of these two – you are on track and pleasing your Lord. If your traditions are not…It is time for you to create new traditions.

Traditions hold power, therefore we must closely examine the Holiday traditions we create and follow.
I wish you and yours a Blessed Holiday Season!

Mom’s Stuffing

Bake 350°F 30 – 40 min.

Ingredients:
1 lb. Pork sausage
Breadcrumbs from one loaf of bread
1 Onion (diced)
1 pinch of ginger
1 T sage
Salt and Pepper to taste
1 diced Celery stalk
1 c turkey broth or water

Procedure:
Mix ingredients together and press into baking pan. Bake at 350°F for 30 – 40 min. (Stuffing can either be baked separately or stuffed into a turkey or chicken.)
Portzelky (New Year’s Cookies)

Ingredients
1 Package instant yeast (2T)
½ c. milk
½ c. water
3 c flour
2T Baking Powder
½ tsp salt
1 T & 1 tsp sugar
3 eggs
½ lb raisons
½ lb prunes (cut small)
Oil for frying

Procedure
Combine milk and water. Warm to a lukewarm temperature. Separate eggs. Add egg yolks to warm liquid. Combine yeast, flour, baking powder salt and sugar. Mix with egg mixture. Stir in raisons and prunes. Beat egg whites and fold into batter. Let rise until double the size.

Heat oil in pot or deep fryer to 350°F. Drop by spoonful into heated oil. Fry until insides are cooked and outsides are brown. (Cookie will usually flip in oil when one side is done.)

Are you Holidazed by the media?? You know, the special ads in the magazines with “Get that “Suzie Superstar” look with this product, all for $99.00…Or “Save Big with this Season Hottest colors” just buy this product to go with this product and layer it with?- and you too can look like a supermodel.

The good new is… You can achieve that Vogue cover look with a few inexpensive products. Something so simple right? – and it doesn’t have a Hollywood price tag to make it fabulous.

Youthful Bronzed Beauty

Nothing says glamour more than that Hollywood “Glow”, the dewy luminance skin made famous by the notorious Jennifer Lopez (we must credit Scott Barnes for his makeup expertise too). You can literally shave 10 years off by using the right products- first and foremost sunless tanning lotion or a bronzer is anti-aging (no sun damage and your dermatologist will love you), you’ll look slimmer with a tan (improving your self-esteem) and it will magnify your skin’s natural beauty.

Steps to achieve the J-Lo Glow

Body- Exfoliate skin and apply sunless tanning cream all over (instant body bling) if you want bronze skin- you can also use bronzing powder in its place.

Face- Use moisturizer and then primer (be sure moisturizer is dry first- also let your primer dry for 1-2 minutes before applying foundation).

Next apply your foundation and if needed concealer under eye

Mix a dab of foundation with concealer and apply to forehead, chin and bridge of nose (don’t make it look too wide or your nose will look bigger)

Dust lightly with powder

Use a pearlized shimmer (reflects light onto skin thus no Photoshop required) mid forehead, chin, bridge of nose, cheekbone- keep the center of your face lighter for a more youthful glow

Use bronzer under the cheekbone, sides of forehead and jaw line (gives a sharp and slimmer appearance) also frames the face. Be sure to blend and blend well.

Tip: Sparkle (in bronzers and other makeup mediums) is for younger ladies and well, for us experienced women- we need to use less sparks

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
— Elizabeth Kubler-

Eyes- Use a pearly light gold or beige from lid to crease- Apply a smokey brown/ shimmer (different from sparkle) from corner to corner (depending on eye shape)- below the brow add the highlighter (light gold) and dot the inner eye and below the lash line like a vertical <.

Apply liquid eyeliner with your eyes halfway open. Draw a short line at the beginning, middle and end of your lid and then connect the lines. Line your lower lash line with a pencil and blend. Just under your eyeliner use gold shimmer it will make your eyes pop!

Now you’re ready for mascara. Start from the base of lash and jiggle your way through to the tips, then do two complete sweeps from the lash base. As for bottom lashes, I suggest using a tiny fan paintbrush (find one at an art supply store). Dip the fan brush in mascara and slightly sweep bottom lashes (or just leave them bare).

For fuller lashes you can use false lashes like J-Lo does.
Brows- Use a taupe color (pencil or powder) use feather light strokes.

Lips- Exfoliate lips with a tooth brush with some non-petroleum jelly or balm (wait at least 20 min before applying lipstick) to get full luscious lips bypass the lip injections and use cinnamon oil- dab on your lips, the oil brings blood to the lips which causes the plumping (be sure to check it out on your forearm for allergies).

Now you’re ready to line your pout, use one that matches your lipstick (if you wear lipstick use a nude color or a light bronze shade ) or one like the universal color called “spice”- slick on some beige gold gloss and you are good to “glow”!

Nothing shines brighter without the inner-glow of the joy we get from our Lord and Savior! Let you light shine bright- not just for the “season” but throughout the year and ever after—He is after all the greatest gift anyone can receive—the gift that keeps on giving…

The best makeup of all is…Joy!

Psalm 119: 105: Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

©2008, Shelly Ballestero

I am living in a snowglobe. Every handful of minutes, the wind visits the alders and maples and evergreens surrounding our house and sends a shower of white billowing about. Inside this globe, I sit in front of the woodstove and watch the orange glow on the other side of the tempered glass. The sounds of David Lanz’s Christmas CD fills the house. To my left, our 15-foot Christmas tree towers. If I had my druthers, the massive fir would be draped head to toe in white lights; for the pleasure of my children, I opted for the green, red, blue and yellow variety. 

Fourteen inches of snow presses against the outside walls. Larry is so intrigued with the seldom-seen blanket of white that he keeps insisting I let him go investigate. The dog doesn’t own enough dignity to stay on the porch. He doesn’t understand that snow is not for lying on–at least not longer than the time it takes to make a snow angel. “Silly pup,” I tell him. But he just grins and smacks a trough with his snakey black tail. 

If you could enter this snowglobe and sit awhile, I’d offer you a taste of our tradition. Since the year we married, 21 years ago, I’ve been making homemade cinnamon rolls to celebrate our first snowfall of the season. This year’s batch is fresh from the oven (a twin batch just went into the freezer for later baking). The moment I pull the pan from the oven, I slather creamy swirls of cream cheese frosting over the spiraled tops. It melts on contact and drips its sweet, buttery self down between the crevices of cinnamon and sweet dough.

Dave likes a big pat of butter on his, and a glass of ice cold milk on the side. I give him the largest roll; he finishes in a half-dozen bites and heads straight back to the kitchen. From my perch on the couch, I listen for evidence, and when it comes–when I hear the sound of the spatula sliding into my stoneware pan and the clink of the butter dish cover being lifted–I smile. He’s waited months for that second helping.

More snow is expected tonight. Maybe we’ll have ourselves a repeat of last night. Maybe we’ll don our winter gear and walk again along the trail that borders our property. At most any other time, we’d have companions on that trail. Bikers, walkers, rollerbladers, and those on horse-back would share our travels. But last night, we owned the world. In an hour of trekking, with only the brightness of snow at our feet to guide our steps, our only company was the creaking of heavy-bowed trees.

I hear those trees now. Every so often, a white-coated branch gives up the battle and drops to the ground, trailing shivers of dust as it falls. I’ve spent most of the morning listening, and looking skyward. I’m watching for boughs, but I’m also looking past those massive sentries–and thanking the God who lives beyond. This scene is His gift … and I’m grateful.

©2008, Shannon Woodward

Every year it happens. The catalogs arrive. My children—who didn’t even know they needed a whole truckload of toys—suddenly become convinced that they, in fact, do. And the ensuing weeks are spent begging, whining, and listing off the many things their hearts desire. As a parent, it never gets easier to navigate between their lists of wants and needs, deciding what can stay and what can go. We want to give them everything, yet we know we shouldn’t. At Christmas more than ever, our hearts stray towards the thought of their little faces lighting up as they find something they never expected waiting for them that morning. And then the budget busting begins. 

I have found that, with six kids to buy Christmas for, it got easier and easier to scale back—simply out of necessity. I started observing what they really enjoyed receiving and what they really played with. I noted that some of the things they got were truly a waste of money and cut out those things with ease and no regrets. A few tips I have learned are:

• Only give kids what they asked for. Don’t go buy a bunch of things you think they might want as a “surprise.” The biggest surprise, then, is on you when that credit card bill comes in the mail. It is best to just stick to your guns and realize that they won’t miss what they never had.
• Begin to cut back little by little. If you have been doing too much and you know it, you can do a little less this year, then a little less the next, and so on until you have effectively scaled back.
• Shop ahead. Instead of saving up all your shopping for between Thanksgiving and Christmas, start collecting things all through the year. Look for creative ways to save money. One time a friend of mine and I were traveling over Labor Day weekend and discovered that Cracker Barrel was having a wonderful sidewalk sale. We were able to pick up great gifts for lots of people on our list at deep discounts. We stopped at every Cracker Barrel between North Carolina and Florida to find the best deals. We still laugh over that little adventure! We were pretty proud of our finds. I also buy presents at the Scholastic warehouse sale. Check www.scholastic.com to see if there is one in your area. Twice a year, they put everything in the warehouse on sale for half off. This includes not just books but art supplies, kits, posters, games, etc. You do have to be an educator to get in, but homeschoolers are included! I also pick up art supplies and kits using my Michael’s coupons. My friend Holly confessed to me that she only spent $30 total on her two boys last year by picking up their gifts at yard sales! And everything she bought was still in the box!
• Start the three present rule, based on what Jesus received from the three wise men. We started this years ago, and I love it! I tell my kids, “If it was good enough for Jesus, it is good enough for you!” Who can argue with that? A good rule of thumb for this is based on the three gifts that Jesus received: gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Gold is the frivolous or fun gift—the big ticket item they have their heart set on. Frankincense symbolized worship, so this is the spiritual growth gift—a Bible, a book on being a godly kid, a Christian video, or something of the sort. And finally, myrrh is the gift that symbolized death—what Jesus was sent to do. This gift is a practical gift around what the child’s bents or talents are. It could be special supplies for an artist or a microphone for a singer, etc. This could also be something practical like an item of clothing. Three items, plus gifts from family members, plus trinkets in their stockings is still far more than what many children in this world will see in their lifetime!
• When you are talking with your children about Christmas, ask them what was their favorite gift they gave this year instead of what was their favorite gift they received? This helps the focus to stay on giving and not receiving, and gets them thinking in these terms at a young age.
• Instead of more junky toys, suggest what I call “experience gifts” from the grandparents. Experience gifts are great because they afford your kids an experience they will never forget—and most times the memories last much longer than the plastic toys that break or get lost. Some experience gifts we have given or received are:

Gift certificates for manicures (great for tweens and teens)

Starbucks giftcards with a promise to take them to get a special drink

Disposable cameras with tickets to an event

Magazine subscriptions

A coupon detailing a special day just for that child—lunch out, a movie, etc.

Passes to activities they enjoy—rock climbing, roller skating, golf, bowling, etc.

Passes to a local theme park or zoo.

A gift certificate to a favorite restaurant

Science kits—check out Treasure Box Press (www.treasureboxpress.com) or Insect Lore (www.insectlore.com) for some great ones

Kitchen utensils with a certificate for a cooking class

A gift for the whole family— a new computer or family membership to a museum

A camping kit for the adventurous type—rope, flashlight, canteen, pocketknife

A beauty kit for the princess—hairbrush, lotion, barrettes, ponytail holders, lip gloss, styling products, etc.

One year, my grandmother gave each of my children $10. As we were deciding what to spend their money on, the suggestions were coming from everyone. Suddenly I had a burst of inspiration. What if we took all the money and put it together? We could splurge on a great night eating out at our most favorite restaurant—the Japanese steakhouse (where they cook all the food in front of you). You can imagine how expensive it is to eat there for a family of eight, but by putting all our money together, we were able to do it—and have a fantastic time together in the process! Though I couldn’t tell you one single thing any of my children received that year, I will never forget that night out. That was money well spent, in my opinion!

Sometimes it is easy to miss the point—especially when we look at the gift giving craziness all around us. I will never forget one Christmas standing in line at the post office behind a woman whose arms were laden with packages, while even more were on the ground at her feet. As we moved closer to the front, she would awkwardly kick the packages ahead. Just to make conversation, I gestured at the number of boxes and said in jest, “That’s why I just send gift cards!”

But my humor was lost on her as she gestured to her purse. ”Oh,” she said, “I buy those too! I have 65 gift cards in here to mail out!” 

I have never forgotten that encounter, as I tried to wrap my brain around how much money this woman had spent on those gifts. Even if she only bought ten-dollar gift cards, she would have spent $650 just on those! And those were just for her family that lived out of town! I went home and shared my story with my husband, who shook his head. Christmas can definitely be a time of going a bit crazy with spending and giving. 

Don’t get me wrong. Gift giving is a wonderful thing. I just think that too often we do it for the wrong reasons—because it is expected, or we are guilted into it, or because we want to make a good impression on someone. And yet, as we are trying to have joy at Christmas and focus on Jesus, where exactly does buying a lot of stuff figure in? How can we give intentionally, joyfully? This is an important question to ask ourselves as we endeavor to enjoy our Christmases without going broke. 

*This month’s column is an excerpt from Marybeth’s ebook, A Recipe For Christmas Joy. To order your copy, go to www.proverbs31.org.

©2008, Marybeth Whalen

It is never too late to follow your dreams! In today’s fast-paced, instant-gratification world, it is easy to feel like you are missing something… like your moment has passed you by. In Don’t Miss Your Moment, Judy Jacobs presents a message of hope: it isn’t too late! With both contemporary and scriptural examples, she demonstrates how you can get back in touch with your dreams, experience the best of life’s moments, and follow the promises of God to the life and destiny he has for you.

I lose it two weeks before Christmas Day in the morning.

The kids string popcorn by the fire, untangle lights for the tree, curl sprays of shimmering ribbons, and I wildly dismantle the house. Losing a ring, a gift that had been sent to me from Iona Abbey, makes me lose it. Centuries of pilgrims had made the journey to the stone monastery in Iona, Scotland, to kneel low and pray long. And my Iona ring, a Celtic knot, was like a silver string around my finger, reminding me to do likewise, always, wherever I wandered.

And it’s lost. I pray.

In the back of bread box? Under dishwasher? Down bathroom register? 19 coins, innumerable pencils nubs, and a whole shovelful of legos are discovered under the couch cushions… but no ring. Not under mattresses, in vacuum cleaner, atop fridge. Nowhere.

Snow falls higher and the day draws closer and my sadness seeps through. Presents pile high with promise of gain on December 25th, but I keep thinking of loss, me the woman who had lost treasured silver circle and swept her house up in a flurry of searching (Lk. 15:8). I’ve lost the reminder to pray but keep the vigil. With the opening of every drawer, I’d hope, “Maybe here, maybe today?”

And then I unbend. I straighten up into it, look out at the gentle shake of flakes, and I see it clearly. 

How much of my Christmas was genuine vigil, looking, seeking, hoping, for Jesus? Did I care this much about finding Him? This advent, how did I faithfully search for Him who comes for us?

That first Noel, ragged shepherds came with gifts of adoration for the God-Babe and found Him wrapped in rags, lying in a barn feed trough. An unexpected, messy place for Divinity descended.

I hadn’t looked there yet. 

With the prayer ring lost and carols playing, I begin the true seeking.

We gather for holidays with extended family and hearts snag. A barbed word here, a snarl there. Is this a messy place to find Jesus? I keep the vigil… and find Christ in a listening hear, a lingering touch, a long grace.

On a starry night on a big stage, a special needs child slurs his lines in the Christmas play and we strain to decipher words and my eyes brim and spill. Is this an unexpected place to find Jesus? I keep the vigil…and find Christ in thunderous applause, the laughing eyes of smiling boy. 

Children squeeze in close with fists full of sprinkles and bellies full of mirth and we deck out stacks of sugar cookies, fill bags with cheer for the prison ministry. Is this a giving place to find Jesus? I keep the vigil… and find Christ in loving the least who give us the most: the joy of giving without gain.

I rock a nauseous child in the lights of the tree on Christmas Eve, listen to tummy rumbling, wash a forehead with cool cloth. Is this a cradling place to find Jesus? I keep the vigil… and find Christ in simple closeness, in tending to the sick, the reason why He came.

Two weeks before Christmas Day in the morning, I lose a ring, but begin a pilgrimage to the holy ground of Christmas. And bowing there, I discover that Christmas can’t be bought. Nor can Christmas be created, with popcorn memories or handmade bows.

Christmas can only be found. 

In the messy, in the unexpected, in the giving, in the cradling. Maybe here, maybe today, Christmas can truly be found.

Found in the promise with greatest gain: the Person of Christ.

Are you searching?

©2008, Ann Voskamp

Mother is the most beautiful word in the English language, says a survey conducted by the British Council. According to the survey’s results, the ten most beautiful words are:

Mother
Passion
Smile
Love
Eternity
Fantastic
Destiny
Freedom
Liberty
Tranquillity

Lovely words, all of them. But reading that got me to thinking: what are a mother’s favorite words? Hmmmm…..how about sleep? Yep, that would probably be it—especially if the word is preceded by the adjective uninterrupted. Ah, bliss!

A mom’s second most-beloved word or phrase? It just might be, “I’ll change his diaper, honey,” or the acknowledgement (rarely received but always appreciated), “Wow, you sure did a lot today!”
Speaking of doing a lot, since this month makes even the most organized mommy’s head spin, the best present I could receive as a mom would be these words: “Let’s not do Christmas cards this year.” Talk about a gift!

Here are a few other phrases that get a mom’s heart racing (gals, if you’re feeling really brave and sneaky, print this out so you can slip it in your hubby’s sock drawer):

10. Let’s just cuddle tonight.
9.  Are those magic jeans? Your rear looks tiny in them.
8.  I have a floral delivery for you. Will you be home later?
7.  Mom, you watch [insert favorite television show here]. I’ll vacuum.
6.  Do you like your massage gentle or firm?
5.  Your child is so well-adjusted/polite/neat/smart/normal.
4.  Thanks for offering, but all our volunteer positions are suddenly filled.
3.  I’ll take carpool duty today.
2.  Here’s breakfast in bed, sweetie. And no, the kids didn’t make it—I did!

There are also tons of Biblical phrases that I find especially beautiful. Here are a few on my personal top-ten list: “He gives sleep to those He loves”; “He gently leads those who have young” (I need to follow someone other than my oldest, who’s likely to lead me right off the side of a cliff); “Peace I give you” (this one comforts me when my hubby is working late, my toddler won’t quit crying, and my fifth grader won’t stay in bed); and “With God all things are possible” (for when the baby’s been up all night and I have a presentation to give at ten a.m.).

Thinking about those words—written long ago, but oh-so-relevant today—helps me to calm down in the midst of the chaos that is motherhood.

You know what also helps me to calm down? When my husband says the phrase that’s #1 with moms everywhere:

        1.   Let’s go out to eat tonight!

©2008, Dena Dyer

Today my husband, Jim, and I went to the crafts store to buy Christmas decorations. We purchased one of those 12 foot, pre-lit faux trees that you can erect in 15 minutes, or so the box says. In truth, we still can’t get the bottom three rows of tree branches to light and we’ve been at this for over and hour!  

But, Christmas really is my favorite time of the year. The lights, the sense of anticipation in children’s eyes, and the pleasant demeanor of people make this time of the year special. I think Christmas offers everyone a wonderful sense of hope….. if God could send His most amazing Son into the world to show us the way, the truth, and the life, then what better time than this to hope?

I remember one very special Christmas back a few years ago when my friend Marie sent me a beautiful letter that changed my life. You see, Marie and I had been the closest of friends through high school, then we had a falling out, and our lives went in different directions. We hadn’t seen or spoken to each other for 20 years when her letter found me. 

It was like we had never been apart, and all the transgressions of the past were forgotten. What on earth did we disagree about so long ago? 

Oh the joy of resurrected friendships. While I never lost hope that I’d be in contact with Marie again, I was discouraged at times. Dreams are ethereal things and we often doubt we’ll see our anticipation fulfilled. But that’s what I love about Christmas.

It’s a time when miracles can occur. If a child can be born in a manger and his life impact the world, then we can have confidence in God, that our dreams can become a reality. 

Having Marie come back into my life was a gift from the heart of God. Not only was I able to renew a friendship never forgotten, but I was able to once again share my heart with someone who loved me and cared about the intimate aspects of my journey. Christmas is indeed a time of miracles! Whatever you are hoping for, have confidence that God knows the desires of your heart.

Right now, I’m just hopeful Jim will figure out how to get the bottom three rows of Christmas tree lights to work. Anything’s possible!

©2008, Tamra Nashman

The holidays are approaching—quickly!

When it comes to “wrapping up,” I’m not talking about wrapping up the gifts. I’m talking about how to end a holiday party (or even a dinner party) on time! 

I mean, how do you send your guests out the door in a time frame that works for you?

Is it ok to end a party when your guests are having a good time?

After I held a Fall Neighborhood Luncheon in October, a couple of my readers asked me these questions:

Sandy, I want to know how you were able to wrap things up at 1:30—i.e. encourage guests to leave graciously. This is sometimes a problem for me, although a good problem, as it means that people are still having a good time!

And …

How did you “wrap things up?” We had a family over for an impromptu casual dinner not too long ago and they stayed until 11:00 (on a school night too)! We even started putting the kids to bed and that didn’t work…

What’s worked for my family and me for many years is simple. Because we’ve all had guests or family members who won’t leave, we don’t want to feel “caught” or “stuck” and let our graciousness fly out the door. So I’ve come up with these tips to help “wrap up the party” – with grace and style!

• When you’re holding a party, think ahead to the time when you’d like the party to end.
• Be flexible—don’t be married to that time, because you may be having such a good time extending out the party.
• If you have to be done by a certain time, let your guests know ahead of time. Most guests would be sensitive to the host’s needs.
• After the last course is served, and conversation is winding down, stand up and head into the kitchen (you can even start on the dishes).
• If the night is getting later than you had planned, go put your slippers on! 
• Feel free to explain that you have to get up early —start moving toward the door.

Obviously, the sign of a great party is when the guests don’t want to leave. 

When I think about all of the entertaining we’ve done, I can’t think of a time when our guests weren’t sensitive to our family’s needs if we needed to wind it down by a certain time.

And my husband’s quick-witted humor always comes out as our friends leave, when he says, “Come back when you can’t stay as long!”

It’s been said in our home, as we’re saying good bye to our guests, for 18 years now!

This holiday season, when we’re “given to hospitality,” enjoying the spirit of the holiday with friends and family, and rejoicing in the birth of our Savior, let’s not be so quick to get to the next event, or fall into bed exhausted from cramming too much in to our schedules, that we lose our grace. 

Let’s be sensitive to each other’s needs, keeping our style and our grace, as we open our homes and extend hospitality to others.

This is a season of anticipating joys to come!
Feel free to Ask Sandy … by discussing these topics and more on Sandy’s blog, www.reluctantentertainer.com

©2008, Sandy Coughlin

About a year ago, I got an idea for a site that would help organize your home in fun, practical, innovative ways. I can’t tell you those ways–not yet anyway. We don’t have the software yet (but the programmer is on the job! . But we–and that “we” includes my two partners, Andy and Nichelle Isaacson–have taken the first step toward making that site a reality.

Please consider yourself invited to join our Twig and Feather community. Why “Twig and Feather?” Because I couldn’t shake the image of a nest. To me, it encompasses all the emotion I feel as a wife, mother, and homemaker. My home is our nest. And like any nest, it’s comprised of practical structure–twigs, if you will–like budgeting, menu planning, cleaning, and all those other not-fun-but-very-necessary components. But it’s also comprised of “feathers”–the soft side of nesting, things like candles and music and fluffy pillows. Every nest needs both twigs and feathers. Our site aims to share and solicit ideas for all these areas, help you organize your life, and encourage you to make your home a warm, welcoming refuge in a world that is anything but warm and welcoming.

For right now, we’re offering a forum. This will be the nuts and bolts of the site until we can launch the bigger features. We’ve been up-and-running for about a month now and have already begun compiling an interesting collection of recipes, craft and decorating tips, and ideas for making your home a haven. 

We hope you’ll consider joining our T & F community. More than that, we hope you’ll inundate us with all your ideas. And just to encourage you to come and do that, we’re offering a giveaway for all who register before December 10th. The winning name will receive a copy of my first book, “A Whisper in Winter,” an ornament from Pottery Barn, a mug, candle, and assorted cocoas. 

Hope to see you at Twig and Feather.

© Shannon Woordward, 2008

Each month CWO chooses one blogger from our list of over 3,000 women to be CWO’s blog of the month.

This month’s pick is Leigh Gray from “Speaking Thru Me.”

Leigh describes her blog by saying, “it was birthed through what I feel God does in me and through me each day–Speak. This blog is a journal of my personal time with the Lord each day. I am not a private person for the most part and have always allowed my diary or heart to be read by anyone. This blog is no different. The good, bad, and ugly will be shared for all, but is directed to Him!

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid on the topic of submission when a reader asks, “I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be a godly wife?” 

I have noticed that a subject you speak on most often is that of being a godly wife.  I would love to see you in person, but until you come to Kalamazoo, MI I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be a godly wife?  I was SO encouraged to hear that your husband was not saved when you were first married. My husband is saved, but his relationship with Christ has weakened recently. His father (who was his best friend) recently passed away and he has been growing distant from me, but especially from God. 

I believe this is the time he needs to rely on God most and am hoping you could give me some ideas/tips for how I can encourage him to reconnect with our Heavenly Father.

Thank you for your message and any help you can give!

_______________________

The understanding that marriage is an equal partnership where husband and wife are equally important, but aren’t designed to share the same role, is  the foundation to being a godly wife, and encouraging our husbands in faith.

The Bible says, “For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman: but the woman for the man” (1Corinthians 11:8-9).

Today’s society would have us believe there should be no differences between a man and a woman. Society has it wrong.   We were created equally, but very differently, and so we have differing responsibilities in our marriage—ours being a HELPMEET. God created Adam, saying, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. (Gen. 2:18)

By respecting my husband, and submitting to him as the authority figure in our family–as he should be–my actions have helped to win him over without a word. First Peter 3:1 says, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.”

As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, submission is not a foul word. I don’t become a slave to my husband’s every demand—instead I take joy in serving him, and ultimately pleasing God. Val doesn’t take advantage of me, but rather gains respect for me, and chooses to love and honor me as I do him. This chain of command not only nurtures respect one to another, it also pleases the Lord, to whom we are ultimately accountable.

I encourage you to read Titus chapter 2, which teaches us a reverent way of life, and to also pick up a copy of Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debbie Pearl. You can purchase it on their website at www.nogreaterjoy.org or check your local Christian bookstore. This book is THE BEST in becoming a godly wife!  You may hate it, but you’ll thank me for recommending it.  

Being there for your husband (once you’ve read and applied the book) will be the best thing you can do for him to reconnect with God.

Read more articles like this in Candace’s monthly column: 
“Candid Candace – The Qs & As on Growing with God”

Few people imagine or anticipate their life being full of severe pain.  I’m referring to the kind of pain that follows you every moment, of every day, month after month, without an ending in sight. The type of pain that causes your life, as you once knew it, to cease altogether. The sort of pain that leaves you waking up every morning trying to figure out how to manage each moment so you can make it through the day, only to experience it all again the next day.  The kind of pain that redefines a person forever.

I never anticipated experiencing this type of pain in my life…until it pierced me directly in the heart. 

It was May of 2007.  My husband Drake and I had been married for over 11 years and blessed with two beautiful children: Judson and Jessie.  Our life did not look much different than the average family living in the states.  Of course we had common challenges, but nothing out of the ordinary.   At the time, Jessie was about 9 months old and Judson was almost 2 ½.    Like every parent, we were extremely proud of our kids; Judson, in particular, was a very bright and articulate little boy with a sweet spirit who endeared himself to anyone whom he had the pleasure to meet.

However, at the end of May, Jud’s vibrant, normal-functioning body began to unexpectedly and rapidly deteriorate.  Within just a few short weeks, Judson was losing his eyesight and ability to walk. 

When doctors informed us they needed to do emergency testing because the situation was likely very serious, my heart broke; I realized my world could be on the verge of unraveling.  I cried out to God in fear and anguish, but also recall specifically asking Him to make His presence known to me no matter what lay ahead. 

After weeks of testing, misdiagnosis, and a steady decline in Jud’s abilities, we were given horribly bleak news.  I vividly recall the Neuro-Genetics Clinic where they sat us around a conference table and proceeded to tell us that Judson had a leukodystrophy, and from my research, I knew this equaled “terminal”.

I sat there holding my beautiful, bright, vibrant, beloved boy as he played with his green pick-up truck on the laminate pine table top and suddenly felt as though he was slipping through my fingers, and as much I tried, I could not hold on to him.

And for almost four months I continued to try to hang on to my boy…but he kept slipping through my fingers…Jud’s whole body became paralyzed including an inability to hold up his head.  He went totally blind and mute.  His swallowing reflex diminished.  And though his keen mind and beautiful smile never faded, the critical functions in Jud’s body shut down, including his ability to breathe.  On November 7, 2007, Judson slipped out my grip completely.

Looking back on that wretched day after the Neuro-Genetics Clinic, the word “terminal” had kept floating around in my mind.  I recall sitting on the stairs of our house retching and throwing up as the thoughts of losing Jud plagued me.  I couldn’t bear to let go of him!!!  How could I possibly walk this path?!!??

But I had no choice — I had to bear it!  I had to face the reality of the road being laid before me.  I also recognized my desperate need to cling to the One telling me to trust Him, despite my circumstances.

Then something happened.

As Jud began slipping through my fingers, the fingers of my Heavenly Father intensified their grip on me. The Lord held me more tightly as I had to hold Jud more loosely.

I felt my Father’s grip through the notes, encouragement, prayers, gifts, meals, financial support and other unexpected blessings that upheld us in our tragedy.  Even more profoundly, I experienced God’s presence in our little boy.  God was clearly at work in Jud’s life as our sweet little man lived with incomprehensible joy during his suffering.  While Judson could still speak, he regularly challenged us, comforted us, and spoke truth in a manner that revealed God’s nearness.

I have heard it said that losing is a child is one the worst human experiences known to man (and watching your child suffer compounds the pain).  I know this to be true.  I have also heard that even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, the Lord is with me (Psalm 23).  I also know this to be true.  Our lives are filled with an intense, pervasive pain having had to let go of Jud, but I am convinced God has not let go of me…and so it is to Him I cling! 

Judson was born Christmas Eve 2004 and died November 7, 2007.  Read more about Judson and the Levasheff family at www.StoryOfJudson.com.

Christina Levasheff has a BA in Communication and an MA in Education, both from Biola University. She is currently on hiatus from her work as a college educator to stay home with her daughter Jessie and to write and speak publicly about her journey.