Christina had been living a very charmed life raising two beautiful children, Judson and Jessie, with her wonderful husband Drake (married since 1996) in sunny southern California with little hardship or turmoil.  That is, until tragedy pierced her heart.  At the end of May 2007, their sweet, bright and articulate little boy Jud, began to have his body unexpectedly and rapidly deteriorate. After weeks of testing, misdiagnosis, and a steady decline in Jud’s abilities he was diagnosed with Krabbe leukodystrophy: an extremely rare, genetic, incurable, terminal disease. And in less than five months he went completely paralyzed, blind, mute, and more. Ultimately, the critical functions in Jud’s body shut down and he died in Christina’s arms on November 7, 2007, just shy of age three. 

Although Judson has been set free from his affliction, Christina’s life is filled with an intense, pervasive pain.  She is committed to walking through her loss and sorrow as openly and honestly as possible, hoping others can grow and learn through her hardship as she writes and speaks publicly about her journey.  Most of all, she longs for the day she will be reunited with her beloved son in eternity with her Savior.

How did you go about choosing the title of your blog, and where can we find it?
My blog is titled “No Artificial Colors or Flavors…A Journey Toward Wholeness.”  It correlates to my appreciation for natural, whole foods that are not contaminated by synthetic, fake, impure, processed ingredients and additives.  But most importantly, the title reflects my desire to live without artificiality.

On my personal journey toward wholeness, which cannot be fully achieved until I am face to face with my Lord, I want genuineness to permeate my life. I long to see my soul purified and become less tainted by the things of this world. Therefore, I hope my blog reflects a real, authentic, look at the deep, heart-wrenching challenges of faith and life without any notion of manufactured, phony, or contrived “faith”.

You can find my blog at http://www.storyofjudson.com/christina

What do you find yourself writing about the most?
I am on a profound journey of grief and loss—it permeates the majority of my writing in one way or another.  Though generally speaking, I’d love to categorize my blogs as vulnerable, candid pictures into the struggles of life lived by a grieving woman growing in faith and trust of her Heavenly Father.

What prompted you to start blogging, and when did you launch your site?
I began my blog “No Artificial Colors or Flavors” in June of 2006 on a social networking site—posting very infrequently about life circumstances that grabbed my attention.  However, when my son Judson got ill with Krabbe disease, my blogging took on a whole new purpose, form, and frequency.  In the wake of his death, and on the anniversary of his diagnosis with Krabbe disease—July 18, 2008, we launched www.StoryOfJudson.com and transferred my blog to the new domain.

How much thought and time does it generally take you to write a post?
I take a lot of time to carefully craft each blog.  I would estimate that an average of at least one hour goes into every post, with some requiring far more time than that.

What are some of your hobbies or accomplishments outside of blogging?
I have a BA in Communications and an MA in Education both from Biola University and prior to having children, enjoyed my work as a college administrator and instructor at a local private college; I oversaw the campus educational enrichment initiatives and taught strategic learning courses.  Though I left my work in higher education to stay home and care for my family when Judson was born, which now involves spending time with my sweet 2-year-old daughter Jessie, my love for teaching remains.  I am part of the women’s teaching team at our local church and continue to be honored to speak and share about my “journey toward wholeness” in other venues.

Besides writing and teaching, it is also not uncommon to find me enjoying iced tea or coffee at the local coffee shop, riding my bike with Jessie seated behind me, snapping photos of nature and family, working on some sort of graphic design project, enjoying a meal out with family or friends, catching a movie with my hubby Drake on date night, or beating him at all sorts of board and card games. 

What struggle have you experienced with keeping your blog updated?
Sometimes my grief and sorrow keep me from writing and other times I simply do not have the time to post as frequently as I desire.  However, I never seem to be at a loss for something to write about—I keep a running list of blog ideas, and it keeps getting longer, not shorter. 

What are some of your favorite blogs?
I am hesitant to admit that though I am an avid blog writer, I am not a huge blog reader.  That being said, I periodically check in on Leilen’s Tales from the Cribwhich is a very humorous take on the day to day joys of parenting, and Lim(b), a blog about eco/conscious living produced by a friend of mine.  Furthermore, I read several “care pages” from other parents of children who are currently afflicted by terminal disease or have recently died.

What Bible verse has God recently placed on your heart?
I find myself reading most frequently in the Psalms.  David’s cries for help in affliction, his honest struggles, but his ultimate trust in the Lord speak significantly to my grieving soul.  Most recently, I have connected with Psalm 31: 

Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am still in distress;
my eyes continue to grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.

My days are consumed by anguish
and my life by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.

Let me taste of Your great goodness,
which You have stored up for those who fear You,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in You.

Is there anything that you’d like to add in closing?
Losing my precious Judson is a glaring reminder that this life is only a springboard into the next. I cannot wait to be reunited with my beloved boy and want to live each day with a perspective that keeps eternity in view!  Come quickly Lord Jesus, come!!

Visit Christina at her blog:
http://www.storyofjudson.com/christina

Visit CWO’s Blogroll page for fun and fellowship. 

______________________________

Note: Candace is also a columnist here at CWO with
“Candid Candace ~ The Qs & As
on Growing with God.”

Click Here to Go There
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It was an honor and a privilege for me to connect with the beautiful and talented actress, Candace Cameron Bure, this month. Many of us will remember Candace from ABC’s hit television series, Full House, where we knew her simply as “D.J.” This month, we get to meet the real Candace Cameron Bure, a woman who’s genuine faith in Jesus Christ, is reflected in both her public life, and in the “full house” which God has richly blessed her with.

As I mentioned in my opening statement, most of us remember you as the wisecracking teenaged sister on ABC’s hit television series, “Full House.” Are there many, if any, similarities between D.J. Tanner and yourself–aside from the obvious great head of hair?

Any similarities would be that we were the same age and both nice girls. Other than that….D.J. and I didn’t have much in common. I was a working child actor, going to the set each day, doing school with a tutor along with private/public school some years, traveling the world and doing such exciting stuff that a lot of people dream about. D.J. was your typical big sister (oh–I’m the baby in my family) who went to school and high school dances.

Can you tell us about any recent television or big screen projects that you’ve been involved in?

Sure! I recently did an episode of Disney’s That’s So Raven. It will air this season. It’s one of my daughter’s favorite shows, and since I know the producers….we worked something out! I also just completed a Christian film by PureFlix called The Wager based on the book by Bill Meyer. It stars Randy Travis and will be out February 9 in selected theaters. It’s a modern day story of Job. I play the character Cassie/Maggie and she is unlike any character I’ve played before. It was fun!

We see that, unlike D.J. Tanner, you have a mother that is very involved in your life. Would this be an accurate statement, and if so, what influences has she had on you?

Yes, very accurate. My mom was with me most days on the set, taking me to and from auditions as well as all the normal stuff moms do. She was there for everything and still is a big part of my life today. She even helps out with the emails on my website! Her biggest influence on me is her heart. My mom is so generous and selfless, and has always had a home who’s doors were wide open for people. She has a real heart for the underprivileged and sick. I think that’s rubbed off on all of us Cameron kids.

How long have you been a Christian, and can you tell us a bit about that conversion?

Well, as it says in my testimony on my website, I asked Christ in my heart when I was 12 years old, but wasn’t a true Christian until I was about 24. We started going to church when my parents were having marital problems. After successfully staying together, I thought that I wanted Jesus to be in my life. I saw that it made so many other people happy and I wanted that happiness too. But I did not grow in my Christian walk through my teen years or even my early twenties. I just used God’s forgiveness and grace to live my life the way I wanted. I basically sinned knowingly, then prayed to God to forgive me for it, just to go back and do it again. Because my “sin” wasn’t as bad as other people’s (I never got mixed up in drugs, alcohol or took that well known “child star pitfall,” I figured I was a pretty good person and it wouldn’t bother God if I did things that were wrong. It wasn’t until I read the book The Way of The Master by Ray Comfort, that I understood the standard by which God is going to judge me: not by worldly standards, but the standard of the 10 commandments. It was then that I saw my need for a savior. No matter how good I thought I was on the Earth, I clearly don’t measure up to the 10 commandments. It was seeing my sin from God’s perspective and understanding that I would be judged the same as that person that was doing worse things than me. I finally got right with God and have been living a life for Him ever since.

Did being a “Hollywood Christian” cause any growing pains in your spiritual growth?

Thankfully, no…not while I was doing Full House. Even though I called myself a Christian, I didn’t live like one. Although I must say….I was still a goody-two shoes. But now–yes, there have been several decisions I’ve made about work because of my Christian walk. I’ve turned down several TV series to stay home and raise my children. I’ve also turned down other roles because of content issues I feel so strongly about.

I was thrilled when I learned that both you and your brother, Kirk Cameron, were actively serving in Christian ministry. Can you tell me about any recent opportunities that God opened to you for His service?

I never thought I’d be someone who’d speak at churches and share my testimony with thousands of people. I can now see how God used the success of Full House to reach millions of people for Him. How cool is that? I also went on my fist mission trip to Africa last September. That was an incredible experience!

I’ve heard that you are married to NHL hockey star Valeri Bure. Can you dish with the women of CWO and tell us how you two met?

Dave Coulier (aka Joey Gladstone, Full House) introduced us at a hockey game. Val and his brother Pavel didn’t speak much English because they came over from Russia just 2 years before. Full House was one of the shows they watched every day in the States to help them speak the language. Val and I exchanged numbers that night at the game…and the rest is history. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary!

Being a mother of three children, you now have a “full house” of your own. Can you tell me what you find to be the greatest blessing of motherhood?

There are so many blessings being a mother. It’s hard to pick one. I love seeing my kids’ smiling faces every morning. The love they give me is priceless. They’ve taught me to have patience (although I’m still learning) and to have unconditional love. It puts God’s love in perspective me for. If I love my own kids that much–how much more does the Father love me?

Have your children had many opportunities to watch re-runs of Full House?

Oh yeah. They think the show is great! They love Michelle. And my daughter has to laugh and “eeeewwwww!” when I kiss a boyfriend!

Are you still in contact with any former members of the cast?

Yes, I talk to several of them. A lot of emailing.

If one of our readers is seeking to have a relationship with Jesus Christ as you do, are there any online resources that you would direct them too?

Yes! www.thewayofthemaster.com. Not only is this the ministry of my brother, Kirk Cameron, it’s the very thing that got MY relationship with God right. There are all kinds of resources on there for the seeker of Christianity to the seasoned scholar.

In closing, can you leave us with one of your favorite Bible verses?

I love Acts 17:30,31a

“Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all men everywhere to repent, because He has appointed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by the Man whom He has ordained.”

It’s not a feel good verse… it’s a verse of truth and urgency for eternity.

Candace I can’t thank you enough for joining us this month at CWO. I enjoyed you back then as D.J., and I enjoy you even more today, as Candace Cameron Bure. Your genuine spirit is well reflected in your words.

My family and I will be looking for you on That’s So Raven this season, The Wager in February , and of course, I’ll be visiting your website often. You’ll know it’s me, because, I’ll be the one lurking at 2 am.

Visit Candace at: www.candacecameronbure.net

Blessings,

Founder and Editor,
Christian Women Online Magazine
Read my column–DysFUNctional

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Candace recommends the following:

www.candacecameronbure.net
www.wayofthemaster.com (Kirk Cameron’s Ministry)
www.barbaracameron.net (Barbara Cameron)
www.childrenshungerfund.org
www.kirkcameron.com (Kirk Cameron)

I’m new at this so here goes.

Without giving too much info, my dad hit my mom, my mom constantly accuses my dad of cheating & they been married 47 years. Mom left dad, and is now living with my brother who lost his 4 year old baby girl in a car accident. The accident has caused severe strife in my brother’s marriage and is now thinking of divorce. Meanwhile his 16-year-old son is full of anger and hates the world, so gets into lots of trouble. My very oldest brother is a preacher but refuses to help his own family in need-especially his mom. Instead he tells me that he never loved his mother & now refers to mom as “that woman.” He said she is crazy and needs help. He also tells me of my sinful ways and puts down the rest of my family.

I grew up christian, but dont feel like it was right. I feel like it is rather a crazy cult and now my whole family is falling apart. I’m 30 and just dont know what to do.

My family needs relief from all this crisis. Mom won’t listen or forgive, Dad is too selfish and has anger problems, my very oldest brother loves to point fingers and be holier than everybody, my middle brother is trying to help mom & dad & grieve over the loss of his baby & hang on to his marriage & I’m just sad that everybody is not communicating and is messed up.

Our family is not a happy family. Especially when the oldest of all my siblings is always saying “repent”, and then he acts worse then all of them put together.

I’m sick of this. I’m at my end & just want my family back. Enough is enough.

Sorry to say all this, but I don’t know what else to do. I’ve exhausted my voice with therapist and exhausted my spirit trying to communicate with family.

Please pray for our family.

I know you guys are better at it than I am.

Thank you.

My daughter is 27 years old and has been battling many emotional/mental/spiritual issues for  years.  She has been diagnosed as bipolar, with depression, bulimia, anxiety, and personality disorder.  She has hurt herself pretty serious in the past year.  She spent a month in an in-house treatment facility this past July.  She is on medication and is seeing a Psychologist and a Psychiatrist.  Yet, she is still suffering and so is her family.  She is married with 3 beautiful children and I am afraid that her marriage is in trouble.  I talk with her everyday, but nothing seems to get through to her.  My husband and I pray for her daily and our church is praying for her too.  I just want her to be emotionally healthy and see her renew her relationship with Christ.

Start getting ready and be sure to mark your calendars!

Internet Cafe Devotions will be celebrating the holidays this year with lots of great things for you to participate in! There will be six weeks of celebrating going on and it will happen on Thursdays.

Visit The Internet Cafe for more information

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Shera is the mom of 6 sons, ages 12, 10, 9, 5 & 2 year old twins. She and her husband have been married for 15 years. With three in school, three at hom

e and a variety of sports for the boys, her life is pretty crazy. Amidst the chaos, Shera strives to find peace and an ever closer walk with Christ.  Encouraging and supporting moms through writing, blogging and devotions are a daily part of her life.  Although she looks forward to a day when the perpetual mountain of laundry turns into a molehill, she tries to treasure each day with her sons as they grow.

What is the title of, and where can we find your blog?  My blog is called A Frog In My Soup and it’s atAFrogInMySoup.com.

What is the topic or topics that you find yourself writing about the most?  
Hmmm,  there are many subjects, but the most frequent is a combination motherhood and faith.  Supporting moms through life, reality checks, devotions, and more.  I even write occasionally about great products, books and shops, offering reviews and contests.

What or who prompted you to start blogging, and when did you start?
I started blogging 3 years ago when I found it increasingly difficult to scrapbook and journal memories for my children after the birth of my twins.  I was desperate to get these memories written somehow and discovered blogging. Through the course of documenting these memories, I rediscovered my lifelong love of writing!  The amazing platform of blogging and the equally incredible mom blogging community were a wonderful discovery.

Are there any other women that you’ve connected with through blogging? And if so, how did you meet them?   
Wow, I’ve met so many wonderful women, there’s absolutely no way to list them all. I feel so very blessed to have met them, and built relationships with some of them outside of blogging.

Hosting various columns for some blogs or blogging groups is one way, another way is through mutual blogs visited, Christian blogging and Mom blogging groups.

How much thought and time do you generally put into each post? 
Depends on the post.  Devotions are written as I feel led, these can be fairly quickly constructed or occasionally written over time.  Memories and life events are fairly quick, but I’d say that I spend an average of a half hour to an hour writing each post.

What are some of the other websites or blogs that you write for?
I write for, and am administrator of, Faith Lifts, which is a daily devotional site for moms, I also host “The Sampler,” a weekly column at 5 Minutes for Mom. Occasionally I write other articles for 5 Minutes for Mom as well.  Oh, and I also have a blog that is solely for reviews atFroggyReviews.com.

What are some of your hobbies or accomplishments outside of blogging?  
I love to scrapbook and as I mentioned earlier I had to pretty much give that up when the twins were born.  I recently have discovered digi-scrapping though and I’m very excited about the possibilities that offers me.  I also design blogs and shops for women through my companySweet ‘n Simple Design. I guess you could say that I found a creative way to incorporate blogging and scrapbooking into most aspects of my life.  I love creating very personal blog designs for moms and my motto is “every blog should be as unique as the mom behind it.”

What struggle if any have you experienced with keeping your blog up? 
There are times when I go through a “dry” spell and don’t feel as inspired.  I find that when this is the case it’s typically because I’m not scheduling my time well.

What are some of your favorite blogs? 
In all honesty, between my posting schedule, designing and writing I don’t have nearly enough time to visit blogs like I used to!  A couple of my best bloggy friends though are My Cup 2 Yours and Becoming Me.  There are definitely a few others I try to visit, but these are the most regular ones.

Can you leave us with a Bible verse that God has placed on your heart? 
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
–2 Timothy 1:7 KJV  

As a mom it is very easy to forget verses like this, and instead, to live in fear and chaos.  It is so important that we remember and claim the promises of God each day for our lives!

Is there anything that you’d like to add in closing? 
I believe that every mom has been given a great gift.  Not just their children, but the lessons, love and purpose that can be found through motherhood. I also understand how challenging and overwhelming motherhood can be for some moms, and through my blog I hope to reach out to them and offer tangible, Christ-centered encouragement.

Visit Shera at her blog: AFrogInMySoup.com

Visit CWO’s Blogroll page for fun and fellowship.

Photo Credit: Jonathan Exley

Kathy Ireland began her career as a supermodel and morphed into what the Associated Press and London Times call “a best friend to working mothers” because women all over America are embracing her designs and products.

I’ve been familiar with her as a model and designer for years, but more recently I’ve discovered that there is so much more to this designer, author, and mother of three, which is her deep devotion to faith and family, and her willingness to both speak out and give of her time to numerous humanitarian causes.

I’m privileged to have had this opportunity to interview her.

________________________________________

Your designs include everything from sofas to lighting to rugs, with a list that goes on… Can you tell us what some of your personal favorites have been?

It’s difficult to choose personal favorite items in our collections. We offer over fifteen thousand different products. We must love them in order to develop them. Having favorites wouldn’t be fair. Every product is a solution for someone. Our mission is “…finding solutions for families, especially busy moms…” Working with our team everyday to find solutions for busy families everywhere is a great joy.

My daughter has the canopy bed and dresser set you designed.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of it from the moment I walked into the store, nor could I stop tugging on my husband’s coat sleeve, in hopes that he’d by it. I have to say, it’s breathtaking as are your other designs.

Thank you for your kind words regarding our Young Attitudes bedroom collection. Designing for youth is a special joy our team shares. We conduct focus groups on a regular basis and we include children in those focus groups. It’s critical for us to understand what it is that children and their families want and how they are utilizing each room and each piece of furniture or our home accessories, lighting, flooring and window coverings. There is so much to learn from children!

I’ve read that it all started with a line of socks which Kmart carried, and that they sold over a hundred million pairs! Why did you start with socks? I’d love to hear how that journey began.

Yes, we started our brand in 1993 with a pair of socks. Many people told us, “It’ll never work! You can’t start a mega lifestyle brand from a pair of socks! You’ve got to break into retail with swimwear!” We weren’t looking to break in, rather, we were seeking a real relationship with our customer. With my modeling background, swimwear would have been too obvious. We thought it would be interesting to see what kind of design, innovation, and marketing our team could bring to a basic pair of socks. If women embraced our socks, we would have the beginnings of a strong foundation for our brand.

When we began our brand we had very little resources, no advertising budget, and we took out a series of loans. Jon Carrasco, our genius Creative Director and I loaded up our backpacks, traveling the country presenting our socks. We had a lot of doors slam in our faces.

I believe in order to succeed in life and in business we need to turn down the noise of negativity and move forward with the plan for our dreams. In the early days, there were times we slept in airports to save money. Many people think of sleeping in an airport as a sacrifice. Modeling was more of a sacrifice because it wasn’t my passion. Whatever you have to give up to live your passion, on the path God has for your life, is not a sacrifice; it’s a bold investment. And yes, thanks to the millions of women who turn down the noise of stereotyping and embrace our brand, we recently sold our 100 millionth pair of socks.

Congratulations. That is a lot of socks, and a lot of happy feet!

What values have you instilled in your company?

As a child, I always worked. From the days of my newspaper route, my dad always taught me to give 110%. Give more than the customer is expecting. If the customer expects the paper on the driveway, put it on the front porch. That was the foundation of our learning–to under promise and over deliver.

Thirty years later, I’m still the girl with the paper route.

I like that, Kathy. A good work ethic is such an important value we can instill in our children.

Let’s talk about your book, Powerful Inspirations: Eight Lessons That Will Change Your Life. Can you give us a glimpse into the book?

It was a privilege to write Powerful Inspirations: Eight Lessons That Will Change Your Life, with my co-author, Laura Morton. The reason I can be so bold as to say these lessons will change your life, is because the inspirations behind each lesson don’t come from me. They come from God. If you apply them to your life, your life will change. The lessons range from Powerful Beliefs and Boundaries, Powerful Changes, to Powerful Financial Wisdom. I look at failure as education. In that respect, I am very well educated. Most of these lessons were learned the hard way.

In this book, you wrote that you felt “dorky” growing up. Some of us still feel dorky even now that we are grown up Since you overcame this issue, is there any advice that you offer to women who are suffering with low self-esteem?

In the book,  I share that I believe, if we get our self-esteem or sense of self-worth from our appearance, our social status, our bank accounts, the car we drive or even our health, we will be disappointed. No one can guarantee we will have any of these things tomorrow. Appearance was an example I’d used that made me wonder if I’d been on my soapbox. Our appearance doesn’t change overnight; it’s a gradual process. I thought about it, then pushed it out of my mind. A few days later, I was playing in the driveway with our son Erik. My husband hopped in Erik’s wagon and was riding it like a skateboard. It looked like so much fun. I wanted to give it a try. I held on to the steering wheel, while he pushed me around our circular brick driveway. We were laughing and having so much fun. As I approached my parked car, I over corrected my turn and did a face plant on the brick driveway. I smashed my face, broke some teeth, tore the skin from my nose, had a fat lip, sprained my shoulder and my blood was everywhere.

I am grateful that there was no serious permanent damage. But during that time we achieved a major business goal. No one could ever again say our business was dependent upon how I looked. Because trust me, I was a mess. There is still a small scar on my nose. Make up usually covers it up. It’s really no big deal, except to me. To me it’s a beautiful reminder of a turn my life could have taken and a gift of being absolutely free from worry about appearance.

I believe that true self-esteem comes from understanding that God loves you, values you, made you in His image and He doesn’t make mistakes. That kind of self-esteem is available to everyone and no one can take it away from you, no matter what your circumstances.

Chapter one opens up with the verse, “All things are possible with God” ~ Mark 10:27. Why did you choose that verse to open the book?

I love that verse because it demonstrates the all mighty, infinite power of God. In my human weakness, I often see obstacles and limits. What I need to be doing is leaning on Him. With people, much is impossible, but not with God. “All things are possible with God” Mark 10:27. This verse strengthens my faith and gives me great hope.

When I look at the woman you are today I see someone who has changed from the girl we knew her to be 20 years ago.  Is there any life-changing lesson or lessons that particularly stand out as being key to your growth over time?

I feel that over the years I have changed. From the girl who used to shut up and pose for a living, to the wife, mother, and business person I am today. I enjoy all those responsibilities that go along with the opportunities. In “Powerful Inspirations,” I share, that I believe we all have our God given gifts and talents. It’s a matter of discovering and developing them. I believe in focusing on our strengths and finding support in areas where we are not strong. I encourage people to figure out what their values are and to put strong boundaries in place to protect those values.

Your were dubbed “super-model-turned-super-mogul” by Forbes Magazine and syndicated columnist Liz Smith, but I also see you wearing the title of “Super Mom.”  In fact I read that you were named the 2002 Outstanding Mother of the Year from the National Mother’s Day Committee, and that you authored several best-selling children’s books. How do you manage working, writing and being a mom without fizzling out?

All moms work, whether they get paid or not. I can’t think of anything more rewarding, challenging or important than raising children. There is so much pressure particularly on women to have it all and do it all. I believe we can have it all, just not all at once. I believe our life comes in seasons. In each season we need to prioritize our time. For me, my priorities are my faith, my family and then being of service.

Honoring those priorities makes our work so exciting. The minute my priorities are out of order, the stress becomes unmanageable. I’m not very effective at anything and my coping skills go out the window.

You’ve been successful at so much that you set out to do. What would you consider to be the key to that success?

While our success may bear my name, it is the result of thousands of hours of work performed by many, many people. I work with an incredible team of people. As women, so often we try to do it all. As I mentioned earlier, I believe in focusing on our strengths and working with others in areas where we are not strong. It’s important to choose the people you work with carefully. While you might not agree on everything, it’s a good idea to share the same core values. Work ethic is also critical to success. Always give 110%. I never had a family business, but today we have a business family. When you treat one another the way you want your family members to be treated, there is no limit to what you can accomplish together.

I read that you became a Christian when you were eighteen, but remained a baby Christian for a long time. So many of us can relate to that, in fact it was only twelve years ago that I really started growing in my faith. Can you tell us a bit about your walk with the Lord?

I was 18-years-old, modeling in Paris, which sounds a lot more glamorous than it really was. Out of jetlag, boredom and loneliness, I picked up a Bible out of my suitcase that my mom had packed. I happened to open to the Gospel of Mathew and my life was forever changed. As a rebellious teenager who was questioning authority, I saw the truth right before my eyes. As a young woman, out in a world that felt dominated by men, I was so encouraged to learn how much Jesus loves and respects women. The first person who He shared that He was the Son of God with, was a woman. This woman was a Samaritan and was living what could be considered an immoral life. This was during a time when men did not communicate with women. Women were not even considered second-class citizens. This was during a time when Jews would go out of their way to avoid Samaritans.

Jesus rejected that discrimination. He showed this woman love, respect, and forgiveness. The first people Jesus appeared to after His resurrection were women, and God chose a woman to bring His Son into the world. I feel that with Jesus as my best friend it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me. That relationship gives me the confidence to not compromise my values. Due to my own disobedience, I remained a baby Christian for a very long time. As I would read through the Bible, I would embrace certain passages and disregard those verses that I was sure were a typo or certainly, they didn’t pertain to me. I was trying to mold God into what I wanted Him to be, rather then allowing Him to mold me into the person He created me to be.

Becoming a mom helped me to understand our Heavenly Father’s love for us. He sees the big picture while we see only a fraction. He tells us things not to keep us from pleasure, but to keep us from pain. I have made many, many mistakes in my life and I continue to mess up. My goal is that as I mature in my faith, that my actions would be more in line with His will for my life.

Kathy, thank you for being our guest this month. I look forward to watching as you continue to reveal your God given gift of design.

In the same manner I anticipate a few gentle tugs on my husband’s coat sleeve.

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Visit www.kathyireland.com where you can view her designs, browse her books, and learn more about this amazing woman of faith!

Blessings,

Founder and Editor,
Christian Women Online Magazine
Read my column–DysFUNctional

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Photo credit to Jonathan Exley for the Cover and headshots of Kathy Ireland

Marci and her high school sweetheart, Chuck, have been married for 24 years. She has three young adult children ages 18-22 who she is very thankful for. In August 2005, she began a new life as a disabled mom after she suffered a spinal cord injury during a car accident.

Though the journey following the accident has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions and physical challenges, she has found that God has held on tight. The prayers of fellow Christians have so touched her. She has been healed miraculously beyond all expectations–a walking quadriplegic.

Marci also was a labor/delivery nurse for 20 years. She misses ministering to those women, but God has been faithful to give her new dreams and new areas of service.

How did you go about naming your blog, and where can we find it?
I named my blog “Life Reframed” because I began seeing my life through a different lens, an eternal perspective. It’s at www.lifereframed.blogspot.com

What do you find yourself writing about most often?
I write mostly about the lessons I’ve learned from living with a disability, of God’s faithfulness through my trials, of the grief of my losses. I’ve realized that utter dependence on God is a real blessing. When all pride is gone, you can see things properly. I had been depending on myself and compartmentalizing God. I was not even aware of the blessings I was missing. I try to get these truths across and stir in the reader a desire to see their life and heart as God sees it.

What prompted you to start blogging, and when did you launch your site?
A few of my younger girlfriends, had blogs so I tried it in May never really thinking I would keep it up. God gave me a heart to encourage those going through challenges in life, to let them know that God is there in the “middle of the muddle.” I wanted to encourage them to hang on and not give up.

How much thought and time do you generally put into each post?
It depends, I don’t post everything I write. At least 2 hours. I want it to be different and relevant. I want to let people know what God has done and continues to do for me. It does seem I think about it constantly.

What are some of your hobbies or accomplishments outside of blogging?
Obviously, these have changed as my abilities changed. I love to swim and play with my dogs. I spend way too much time in Bible study because I just love the word of God. Prayer has become a passion and I am the prayer team coordinator for my women?s ministry. I also started a prayer blog for us. Love reading books, planting flowers, and eating out with Chuck. I just planned my class reunion and I stay in touch with”old” friends. I did have my testimony published in Epitome magazine in February 2007.

What struggle, if any, have you experienced with keeping your blog updated?
The crazy thing is I don’t really know the rules of blogs, how to do tags, how often I’m supposed to write. I am winging it with Jesus as the wingman! It’s fun. Give me a little grace when you look at it!

What are some of your favorite blogs?
I peruse through the CWO blogroll often, and just love the insight of Christian women. I’m actually glad I didn’t know about all these great blogs because I never would have had the guts to try one! I like Tales from the Running Mama, a friends blog, and Internet Cafe.

What Bible verse has God recently placed on your heart?
I love them all. This one instills confidence in me: Zeph 3:17 The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” What a beautiful picture from a merciful God.

Is there anything that you’d like to add in closing?
What I’d like to get across is that I am so thankful for this chance to finish well. At one point after my accident, I really thought there was no reason for me to live. Now I’m not only taking care of myself, but living a joy-filled life thanks to the grace of God alone. I’m so grateful for each day. I don’t want to take my life or the gifts God has given me for granted ever again! I pray He’ll use me in whatever way He sees fit.

Visit Marci at: Live Reframed

If you’re an American Idol fan then you’ll likely remember Mandisa–season five’s unforgettable contestant. Her warmth and rich tone entertained viewers each week as Mandisa Hundley sang her way up to the top ten.

When Mandisa was faced with the usual “I don’t mean to be rude, but…” verbiage that Simon Cowell hands out, she chose love in what was a surprising and public response. Forgiving Cowell for pointing out that the stage might not hold her plus-sized figure, Mandisa took the opportunity to forgive Simon, as a reflection of her faith in Jesus Christ and His forgiveness to mankind. Yep–she rocks!!

After leaving the Idol stage, Mandisa has been anything but idle, working on her new book with co-author Angela Hunt entitled, Idoleyes: My New Perspective on Faith, Fat & Fame (Tyndale House), and releasing her CD-single, Only the World.

Idoleyes takes us into the world of an American Idol contestant as Mandisa shares an open and honest account of her experience, and the path that led her to audition. She also gets real about a topic so many of us women face daily, which is a life-long addiction to food. Readers can draw strength from Mandisa as she leads us to the realization that our worth is found in the eyes of a loving Father. And for all of you Beth Moore fans, you’ll love the fact that she’s written the foreword!

What about Mandisa’s new CD-single? I have Only the World in the CD player of my car, where it’s going to stay for a good long while! The fresh sound and upbeat rhythm is so encouraging and fun, I want to drive more often.

We’re honored to have such a beautiful, talented, and warm-hearted woman of faith, grace our pages this month. So, without further ado, here is my interview with Mandisa…

What were you doing before American Idol?
I was singing full time. I did recording studio work, background for various artists (Don Moen, Twila Paris, Sara Groves, etc.) on the road, and traveled leading worship for churches and women’s conferences.

I applaud you for the bold step of faith you took on American Idol by showing forgiveness. You’re one faith-filled woman! Was there ever a point when you wanted to run?
When I first heard the horrible comments that Simon made about my weight on national television, I was caught off guard and devastated because I had no idea that he talked about me behind my back. I found out with the rest of America.  Needless to say, hearing the worst things I think about myself on national television was very difficult for me and did make me want to run and hide.  But after praying with some friends of mine that night, I knew there was much more at stake than me becoming an “American Idol.”

Those who struggle with weight will not soon forget that famous “fat” comment. I can only imagine the devastation you felt. How does one deal with this particular issue, and still maintain self-esteem?
I maintain my self-esteem by relying on the mirror of God’s Word more than the bathroom mirror to gain perspective on true beauty.  I know that my body is a temple and that God has called each of us to be good stewards of our bodies.  On a daily basis I rely on Him to help me walk in victory in that area.  BUT, I absolutely, positively, do not believe that my value is based on my physical appearance.  1 Peter 3:3-4 gives us the real definition of beauty; it is not based at all on our outward appearance but our inner spirit. I cultivate inner beauty by a relationship with Jesus. He makes me beautiful.  I feel so strongly about this issue that I wrote a song about it on my CD and derived the title True Beauty from this very message. For too long we have allowed society to dictate to us what beauty is.  It’s time for us to let the world see our true beauty.

Absolutely, Mandisa! I’ve heard that song you’re talking about. It really does help us to refocus our view on the topic of beauty. I need that reminder often, and so I appreciate that message in your lyrics–especially when they’re teamed up with such a great sound!

I enjoyed every one of your idol performances, but I’d like to know which one was your favorite?
I had two favorites.  I loved doing “I’m Every Woman” and “I Don’t Hurt Anymore”.

You always appeared calm, cool, and collected on Idol, were you?
I was always nervous right before I sang!  In the moments leading up to the music intro I would always be a little nauseous. But it’s funny… the nerves went away as soon as I opened my mouth to sing the first note. That still happens to me to this day. Whenever I am doing a show I am sick to my stomach leading up to the moments I hit the stage. But once I am on it, I love it!

What doors has the idol experience opened for you?
When I got off of the American Idol tour I had a modeling deal with Ashley Stewart stores, a book publishing deal with Tyndale House Publishers, and a record deal with EMI/Sparrow Records. I’ve been on photo shoots and Ashley Stewart appearances (including singing on the Apollo stage with Gladys Knight), my book Idoleyes-My New Perspective on Faith, Fat, and Fame came out in June, and my CD “True Beauty” came out July 31st. None of that would have happened if it hadn’t been for my time on American Idol.

I also recently saw you on Regis and Kelly, and as usual you had a great performance.

Oh–I have to ask–what was it like meeting Barry Manilow?
(Hahaha…you must be a “Fanilow!”) While I was on AI I met several celebrities including Stevie Wonder, Kenny Rogers, Chris Rock, Brandy, the members of Queen, and many others. I can honestly say that Barry Manilow was my favorite. He spent so much time with us and I could tell that he really cared. I did not know much about him before I met him, but afterwards, I became a fan(ilow).

Let’s talk about the book… Other than the obvious experience with American Idol that we all want to read about, what can one hope to gain either emotionally or spiritually from reading Idoleyes?
The subtitle of my book is “My New Perspective on Faith, Fat, and Fame.” Those are three areas that I grew so much in during my time on Idol. My faith was tested and put through the fire but came out more pure and stronger than when I went in. My spiritual journey is one that many can relate to and hopefully be encouraged by. The second area is fat. I have struggled with my weight since I was a very young girl.  From the very beginning of my time on Idol, Simon Cowell put that issue in the forefront of my journey. I certainly would not have chosen to air my dirty laundry in such a public format, but I have found camaraderie among people who struggle with that very issue.  It is an ongoing battle with me, and one I hope to walk in fellowship, with the millions of others who deal with food related issues like I do.

Lastly, I have learned that fame is not all it is cracked up to be. I have come to the realization that when I get to the end of my life, I will not be bragging about the number of albums I sold or the amount of people who know my name. As I lay on my death bed, I will want to be surrounded by my loved ones and reflect on memories we shared. Most importantly, I will want to be able to look into the face of Jesus and be ready to go “home.” Fame is fleeting. It’s the intangible things we cannot touch that make life really worth living. As I have heard back from people who have read Idoleyes, I have been so encouraged to know that many are being touched by it.  God has not called me to pretend that I have it all together. He has called me to be transparent and shown that the Christian life is a journey, but one that can be walked in victory as long as you hold tightly to the One who has walked it before.

You mention in the book that you consider yourself to be an introvert, has this stemmed from the struggles you’ve faced with weight issues?
Actually I believe it is just how God created me. I don’t think that being introverted is unhealthy or a result of a negative experience. It is just part of the personality that God wove into me in my mother’s womb. I am not shy or withdrawn. I am simply reenergized by spending time alone. I enjoy being with people but unlike extroverts, I am not energized by it.

Your faith is unmistakable in both your writing and in your life, can you tell us about the journey that led to your acceptance of Jesus Christ as your personal savior?
I always say that God was pursuing me. Something as minute as a science-fiction novel in high school sparked my interest in Jesus, but it was a performance of “The Singing Christmas Tree” held at a local church that threw the floodgates wide open. After watching the musical interpretation of the life of Jesus, I knew that I didn’t want to continue my life without Him in it.  At the age of sixteen I asked Jesus into my heart and into my life. It has been the wildest ride ever since!

You never know what God might use to draw us close to him, but I agree–it is a wild ride at times!

Many of our readers are huge Beth Moore fans. Can you tell us about your connection to her?
After graduation I was working in the customer service department at LifeWay Church Resources. During LifeWay’s annual spring revival, they brought in special musical guest (and Beth Moore worship leader) Travis Cottrell. Because I occasionally sang in LifeWay’s weekly chapel services, they asked me to be a part of an employee praise team to sing with him. Shortly after that week, Travis called me at work and asked me to be a part of the praise team for a Beth Moore event that weekend in Charlotte, NC. From that weekend on I sang on his praise team for over 5 years.

Meeting Beth was a dream come true. I had done her Bible study Breaking Free in college and was transformed by it. Beth is the godliest woman I know, and I have so much admiration and respect for her. I am just one of the many people who have been changed by the Lord through her ministry. When I saw her passion and love for God and His Word, I began asking the Father to birth the same in me.  I am eternally grateful that the Lord allowed me to glean from her teaching for a season. If it were not for that season, I would not be the woman I am today.

Is there a Bible verse that God has recently placed on your heart?
During my quiet time recently, the Holy Spirit brought a very familiar passage to mind; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Through this passage God impressed the importance of walking in love in all that I do. I can sell a million albums, have my book on the best sellers list, my picture on the front of magazines, but if I don’t do what I do in love, it is all worthless.

More than I want people to know that I am a Christian because of what I say, I want them to know I am a Christian because of how I live…because of how I love.

If you are looking for a way to get linked to other Christian women in the blogosphere, joining a meme is one of the best ways to do it! So in order to help you find them, we’ve compiled a list of some memes that we recommend:

Sunday
Sunday Seven
Our Journey…
Seek the Lord Sunday
Weekly Poetry Prompts
The Daily Mercies (Rena)
The Daily Mercies (Ginger)
God Stop Sundays

Monday
Marriage Monday
Menu Plan Monday
Children’s Book Mondays
Miracle Monday
At the Well
Monday Manna
Monday Mom Logs
Monday Morning Reflections
Sleeping with Bread

Tuesday
In ‘Other’ Words – A Writing Challenge (Tuesdays)
Tackle it Tuesday
Two Shall Be One Tuesdays (Marriage)
10 Minute Tuesdays
Tuesdays for Timothy Moms
To the Tune of Tea Tuesdays

Wednesday
Works for Me Wednesday
Word-filled Wednesdays

Thursday
Thankful Thursday
Plate it and Post it Thursdays (cooking)
Thursday Thirteen
This One’s for You
Thirstin’ for the Word
Sincerely Fro’ Me to You
Thursday Kids Corner

Friday
Fruit of the Spirit Fridays
GodStop Friday
My Husband Rocks!
Fiction Fridays
Great Food Fridays
Psalm Friday
Fearfully Fabulous Fridays
Company Girl Coffee

Frugal Fridays

Saturday
Then Sings My Soul Saturdays
Weekend Reflections
Soup’s On Saturday
Lessons in Love

Blog Members: Have a meme that’s not listed?
Let us know…
editor @ christianwomenonline.net

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Please Note: Due to overwhelming interest in the blogroll, we aren’t taking any new entries at this time. We are in the process of adding the ones that we have, and hope to be caught up with the additions soon. If you are interested in joining, you may check in at a later date. (dated June 14, 2009)

The Christian Women Online blog roll was created to unite women of faith via the internet. Web users can browse this unique list to easily find other blogs of women that share the same Christian faith, without having to waste hours searching through secular blogs that may hold little or no interest to them.

The blogroll is exclusive to personal “blog” sites only. Sites that are deemed otherwise will not be accepted, such as pay-per-post sites or those that frequently promote products. All bloggers must be in agreement with our statement of faith.

In order to be a member of our blogroll, we ask that the following blogroll button be added to your blog (existing members may change the old button anytime). Once the graphic is added, please send us an email request that includes the URL to your blog.

Click Here to Get the Code

If you would prefer that we add the code for you, please include your username and password as well as the URL to your blog, and if we can work with your platform, we will insert the code for you.

mail to: editor@christianwomenonline.net

Note:
Each blog will be visited by our moderator to ensure that it meets with our approval, however we cannot be responsible for the ongoing content of any blog, and ask that you sue your own judgement in the blogs that you choose to frequent.

CWO reserves the right to refuse or remove any blog that we feel would interupt the unity and harmony of the ring. Blogs that we deem as offensive or contain foul language will be removed from the ring immediately without notice.

Each month Christian Women Online magazine will feature one of the blogs listed on our blog roll as our featured blog of the month. A link to it will appear at our site for one month.

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Don’t have a blog, but would like one? Visit www.blogger.com to get started right now–it’s free.

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Sunny’s been an oddball her entire life! Raised in Alexandria, Virginia in the early 1970’s, she was the only Christian, in an immigrant, Korean-Buddhist household, where she is the youngest of three children. Not only were there no Christians in her family, but there were none to be found in her neighborhood either. But God is Sovereign, and in His mercy and by His grace, He wooed her to Himself at the tender age of four. The Lord of hosts, miraculously provided for a bus to pick her up every Sunday to take her to church, where she first heard the Good News of Jesus Christ, so that she might intimately know His agape love for her. And this truly was the best and greatest news she’d ever heard….and it still is! To read her entire story of salvation, please visit her blog and click “Alive In Christ” on her navigation bar.

Sunny is a 39 year old who has been married for nearly 17 years to the most godly husband in the world who loves her as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-33 & 1 Peter 3:7) – though it wasn’t always this way. They had their marital struggles and nearly divorced within their first few years of marriage. Due to God’s awesome power of reconciliation and peace, both Sunny and her husband committed to choose Christ as their first love and each other as their second. To demonstrate her immense gratitude to God for restoring her marriage, she passionately reaches out to other women who are also struggling. She encourages women through her commitment to Biblical submission; first to Christ, then to her husband. Sunny is also the proud Mama of two fabulous, godly young men, Michael (almost 16) and Kevin (13 ½).

How did you go about naming your blog, and where can we find it?
I have two blogs: “A Damsel No Longer in Distress” (my personal blog) and “A Wife’s Biblical Submission” (an online, meme-Bible Study I’ve written). I originally named my personal blog “Jesus Is My Hero”. This is my first blog and I’ve only been blogging since February of this year and didn’t know much about it, so I began reading and searching for how other people were writing and maintaining their blogs. Then I found Amy Bayliss at Split Decisionz and got a great tip!  “Be personal! Don’t be afraid to share your heart.” And I noticed the names other sisters used for their blog titles represented who they are. So I changed my blog title to “A Damsel No Longer in Distress”. The definition for damsel is: a young woman or girl; a maiden, originally one of gentle or noble birth. And that is what I am. I am a princess of the King, one of noble birth and because of my King Jesus, I am no longer in distress, because Jesus is truly my Hero! You can find me at: http://jesusrulzme.blogspot.com/ and http://biblicalsubmission.blogspot.com/

What do you find yourself writing about the most?
I mostly write devotionals and exhortations about Christian living: specifically as a woman, for teen girls, child-training, evangelism and whatever else the LORD inspires me to write.  I also participate in three memes: At The Well, Word-Filled Wednesdays and Live Well Wednesdays.

What prompted you to start blogging, and when did you launch your site?
I’ve had some serious health issues for the past five years. And this past year, my health took a serious dive and I nearly died in November of 2007 a week after my oldest son’s 15th birthday. I had emergency surgery and had some post-op complications that caused my recovery to take much longer than expected. During my recovery from the first surgery, we found out I had a couple of other diseases that if not dealt with immediately, they would become cancerous. So I had my second surgery in June 2008.

I used to teach women’s Bible studies and disciple quite a few ladies, specifically on Biblical submission and have been doing this for the past 13 years. Due to my serious health issues, I was pretty much confined to my home, but still had the desire to serve the Lord. Then I remembered what Jesus told His disciples in the garden of Gethsemane,

“Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” ~ Matthew 26:41.

And I am a seriously lazy, self-absorbed, self-pitying person and did not want to fall into that temptation since I was “confined.” God gave me hope through His word by reminding me that while my body may be weak, my spirit that has been made one with Christ who is willing to go further, and that’s why I blog – this is how I’m now traveling with the Lord and my sisters…through the internet! I launched “A Damsel No Longer in Distress” in February of 2008 and “A Wife’s Biblical Submission” in August 2008.

How much thought and time do you generally put into each post?
I pray constantly for God to inspire me and lead me by His Spirit to write for His glory, with His love and compassion only that which will build up my readers according their needs, that it may give grace to those who read (Ephesians 4:29-30). I generally spend about 1 to 2 hours in prayer and meditation regarding each post and write in my journal everything God reveals to me. Then I sit down at my computer and type it all up, do a little editing and voila… I’ve got a post!

I spend much, much more time on posting my lessons for the Bible Study blog. I usually post one lesson per week (on Thursday), but am trying to finish writing the entire study, so I’m attempting to write two per week. Each lesson takes me countless hours in prayer and about 10-15 hours per week in research, then writing.

What are some of your hobbies or accomplishments outside of blogging?
I love to snuggle with my family and do just about anything with them! I love movies, herbal tea (that my husband makes for me nearly every evening) and my all time favorite is my quiet time with my Savior, my God, and Master. I’m also a professional volunteer!! I volunteer at my church, at both my sons’ schools and just about any other place I can! Of course, I’ve not been able to volunteer as much since I’m physically limited. I don’t know how to sew, but I’ve sewn and made two large window treatments to save money and made cushions for our kitchen nook, and many other things to help save money and keep my house in a way that is honorable to God and pleasing to my husband. I’m also an avid gardener! I hear the LORD best when I’m gardening!

What struggles, if any, have you experienced with keeping your blog updated?
Continued health issues, and sometimes, lack of proper time with God. Due to all my health issues, sometimes it’s difficult to get up in the morning and have adequate time with God; I need a minimum of one hour and I don’t always get that. So I struggle to hear what He’s telling me and I don’t like to write when I’m not inspired by the Lord of my life. I’m sure everyone is grateful for that too, because I’m really not a nice person without Christ.

What are some of you favorite blogs?
One Sacrifice For All Time
I Will Take It Lord, All You Have to Give
The Salas Family
Life-Faith-Scrapbook
To the Moon and Back

What Bible verse has God recently placed on your heart?
Oh my, that’s difficult…to choose just one! Well, God has been repeating to me the same message through MANY different verses: to share His agape love; be tenderly kind; never forget to exercise justice and mercy, with no expectation of it in return; lift up the lowly and speak up for those who cannot speak up for themselves. But since I have to pick one verse, I’ll share the one God showed me today:
“ ‘Thus says the LORD of hosts, Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another, do not oppress the widow, the fatherless, the sojourner, or the poor, and let none of you devise evil against one another in your heart.’ ” ~ Zechariah 7:9-10

Is there anything you’d like to add in closing?
Yes. I’d like to encourage everyone that doing things that are “nice” and “good” just for the sake of being nice and good, out of duty, rather that out of love are not what God requires. But in our good works, He requires that we practice compassion, tender-love, mercy and righteousness (Jeremiah 9:23-24). May we all be quick to listen, slow to be angry, generously offer compassion without passing judgment, overlook personal offenses and see others from Heaven’s view and not our own. There are many who are hurting, both inside and outside the Church. And while we share God’s truth and His salvation to those who are lost, let us do it with the humility of Christ with much grace. (Micah 6:8)

For more encouragement and exhortation, please come visit me at “A Damsel No Longer in Distress” or to journey with me to Biblical submission, join me and other sisters at “A Wife’s Biblical Submission.”

Happy 2008! We are entering into the time of year for New Year’s goals and resolutions. If you are like me you have the thoughts like “Oh great, more goals I can make that I know I will never live up to.”  Despite those feelings we still make goals, and when we break the goals, we live with the guilt and frustration of our failure. Many times at the top of the list is “growing and learning more about God.” We enroll in Bible study classes or purchase “Read the Bible in One Year” books with the best of intentions, because we know that is what we are supposed to be doing.  But what if you are a Mom who barely has time to catch her breath between diaper changes or between running your kids everywhere?  What is a busy Mom to do? Are we supposed to put off getting closer to God until things settle down in life?  We can not do it all!

No you can’t do it all, but there are ways to find time for God and become more intimate with him on a daily basis even while life is crazy all around you.  Lisa Whelchel has written a new book entitled The Busy’s Mom’s Guide to Bible Study with tips to finding that time for God. Her first book, Creative Correction, was published in 2000 by Tyndale House and sold over 200,000 copies.  It received a Gold Medallion Nomination in the Family and Parenting Category.

She is also the author of: The Facts of Life and Other Lessons My Father Taught Me, So You’re Thinking About Homeschooling, The ADVENTure of Christmas, The Busy Mom’s Guide to Prayer, The Busy Mom’s Guide to Wisdom, The Busy Mom’s Guide to Bible Study, Speaking Mom-ese, Creative Correction – The Bible Study, This is My Story -Bible Study and Taking Care of the ‘Me’ in Mommy.

I had the distinct pleasure of talking to Lisa and I believe her advice for busy Moms is going to be a breath of fresh air to many of you.

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Many times when someone mentions the term ‘Bible study’ to a Mom, it invokes guilt or frustration of failure. What do you think are some of the misconceptions Moms have about Bible study?

I think quite a few. I actually wrote the book because I was feeling those same feelings of guilt and frustration.

From a personal perspective I really had wrapped up the idea that “to be a good Christian I had to read my Bible.”  What really smacked me right in the face, is that Jesus did everything we needed on the cross; that it’s not part of earning salvation or paying back what He did. Bible study really is part of our relationship with Jesus and part of listening to Him and communicating with Him.

So often I forget, and think it is one of the items on my “to do list.”  I think many times I need to pull back and remember that. That helps me not to feel so guilty; also it gets me excited about it.

Often times we think in terms of quantity over quality, and that is one of the main messages of the book.  For so long I had it in my mind that I needed to read through the Bible in a year, or Psalm or Proverbs, or at least a chapter a night. And during this busy season in my life, sometimes it can be an all or nothing.  If I have to spend that much time, then I don’t do it, or I will do it tomorrow.

I think having the perspective that I am going to take one verse and meditate on that all through the day, that it’s not only going to be good enough, but actually, more times than not–even better, richer, more productive, and life changing than if I read a whole chapter.

You have a writing career, three children whom you homeschool, and you’re a pastor’s wife. You certainly have your hands full. How do you find time to study God’s word with everything swirling around you?

As Mom’s we juggle so many balls, and we feel guilty because we are dropping so many of them. So one of the things that has helped me, is knowing that I am going to drop some of these balls. So instead of dropping too many, I just pull back and put down a few. They are all important, they are all good, but in order to hold onto the ones that are really critical, eternal, and the ones that I know God’s called me to, I am going to have to lay a few of them down.  That has been really helpful to me, to lay down some good stuff, to make sure that I really do hang on to the ones that are really important.

It is easy to drop spending time with the Lord, because it is hard to show anything for it. You really can’t check it off your “to do list,” or say “look…” when your husband gets home: “Look this is what I did today; I spent this time with the Lord.”  It does not have the same impact as, “I cooked dinner, I organized the closet…”  I think that has been the most helpful to me to keep that a priority. To know not only know my heart, but know my weakness and know the challenges.

Your new devotional book The Busy Mom’s Guide to Bible Study is written to help the on-the-go Mom receive some of the “meatier” parts of Bible study in the time she has available. Can you tell me what the difference is between studying the Bible for 10 minutes versus just reading it for 10 minutes?

That is good question. Just reading is kind of like when we drive through McDonalds, get a happy meal and eat it on the road. It is a full meal that fills us up. There are obviously benefits in that, but there is also the opportunity to actually come home and have a really good nutritious home cooked meal. Maybe find a piece of chicken, as opposed to a hamburger, fries and a coke.  One is really going to actually nourish your body, both are filling, but one is actually going to help you grow better than the other. We can so quickly sit down and read a chapter and there is benefit in that. But if we take the time to look for the real meat, maybe take one piece of it, take the time and let it go deep to soul, that is going to help us.

In your book, you discuss how we can become dependent on other people studying the Bible and then spoon feeding us.  Can you give some examples and explain why that is a problem?

I don’t want to think of it as a problem, it just is not the full picture. I just got Beth Moore’s new study, Psalms of the Assent, and I am getting so much out of it. I love it so much, and I am thankful for it. There comes a time when you are on your own, you need the tools, the confidence and the know how to get into the word to find what you need. If we never learn how to use those tools or practice enough to have some confidence there will be days when someone else’s lesson is not going to speak to us and we will miss out on the fullness of what God has available for us in His Word.

The book introduces the reader to over 20 different methods of studying the Bible. What are some of the ways that work well for you personally?

When my kids were little they were up late at night because they were waking me up, and I would go back to bed and have a hard time falling asleep. Now they sleep really soundly, but I find myself waking up at 2am in the morning lying there for an hour. One of the things that has helped me is to have a scripture by my bed, one that I have already thought about, or one I have already been working on. When I wake up in the night, instead of thinking of all the things I need to do tomorrow or the next day, I can meditate on that scripture. One of the most exciting ways of meditating is taking each word, putting an emphasis on that word to see how it changes the meaning, how it deepens the meaning, how it sparkles in a new way. That has been so much fun  Not only am I getting something out of it, and it is getting into my heart but it helps me go back to sleep too.

As we enter 2008, what would be some attainable Bible study goals that busy mothers could set for themselves, without living in guilt? For a Mother with young children what would be a realistic approach to Bible study?

Just yesterday, I went to the Lifeway store and I bought Praying God’s Word.  It has 420 scriptures in all different categories and you can go through and pick one. I have it by my computer. I think that is a great idea for a Mom, whether you get something like that, or if you have time to study God’s Word with whatever you are going through, or whatever you need to re-enforce. And just take one scripture and keep it close, whether on your visor in the car, or by your sink, computer and where ever you are going to see it. Whenever you pass it, read it and pray that the Lord would speak to you.  It will become hidden in your heart and if you can do a Bible study or do more than that…then great!

Are there any projects in the works that you can tell us about?

There really aren’t.  I am taking a sabbatical from writing right now. The Lord is doing a real internal work in my heart, I can not concentrate on writing, but at the same time I think He is changing me so much, that if I wrote something today it would not be the same as next year.

I am letting Him do his work and pulling away from writing at this time. My ministry is going to be very different in future.  My ministry has always had to come from inside as a result of what God has been work on in me. I kind of need to wait and see what he is doing.

As we begin 2008 what are some of your New Year goals? I wish you a blessed 2008.

I would like to work on trying to be more transparent and spontaneous in Christ. I am going to let Him lead me in my ministry, and to try not to be so concerned about all the tiny details. I want to just be a child of God and go where He leads.

Lisa, thank you so much for taking time during this busy season to spend time with us here at Christian Women Online.  This interview, for me personally, really spoke to my heart about what my goals and desires are for 2008.

Picking up the book The Busy’s Mom’s Guide to Bible Study by Lisa Whelchel is a great way to begin 2008.  Lisa’s book does a great job in showing us ways to find time for God and become more intimate with him on a daily basis even while life is crazy.  Happy 2008!

And the winners are:

_________

Barlow Girl, “Home for Christmas” CD:

Ari from “Bratty Sisters Designs”
and Stonefox from “Moms, Ministry and More”
__________

Fransesca Battistelli, “My Paper Heart” CD:

Katy from “The Country Blossom”
and Britt from “Life as a Clarke Wife, and Momma”

_________

Jars of Clay, “Christmas Songs”:

Susan (A Happy Heart at Home) | Homepage 
Mother Hood | Homepage 
Brook – No Homepage listed
Rachel | Homepage 
cathy davis | Homepage 

_________

Sixpence None the Richer, “The Dawn of Grace”:

Crystal VanBonn – No website listed
Robin Porter | Homepage 
Vinae Winn | Homepage 
Melanie | Homepage 
cathy davis | Homepage

Thank you to all who participated!

* (Note that this post is backdated for web purposes)*

This is a test!!

Tricia is a pastor’s wife, mother of two, and an aspiring writer.  Inspired by other bloggers, she recently launched “The Domestic Fringe,” a web-blog dedicated to finding humor in daily life. Tricia is enjoying using her God-given love for the written word to encourage others in the monotony of everyday. The goal of The Domestic Fringe is to help people smile.

Tricia feels that women are full of pressure to succeed, meet expectations, and continually strive to be “perfect.” She hopes The Domestic Fringe will become a place for women to escape stress and laugh a little. 

Tricia lives on the domestic fringe in denial of her actual age, avidly avoiding scales, and eating too many M&M’s. Won’t you join her in this adventure called life?  

How did you go about naming your blog, and where can we find it?
Naming my blog was THE major hurdle in starting my site.  I sought a name that would reflect my personality, my written content, and would be “catchy.” The Domestic Fringe is the place where I live. It’s reality. Currently in society, women fulfill such diverse roles whether or not they maintain a full-time paid position in the “work” world. It is a place all women can come to, feel safe, and laugh despite position, status, and stress.  You can visit Tricia at: The Domestic Fringe

What do you find yourself writing about most often?
I write about reality.  Life just happens to me. I’m not a planner by nature, so I really don’t mind, but sometimes life runs off with me before I’m ready. These blogs are my life. It’s what happens when you rub the sleepies from your eyes and brush your teeth.

My blogs, however, are not a personal journal or diary.  I don’t focus on my day, but rather my focus zooms in on specific encounters. We are often so rushed that we miss out on all the humor life provides.

What prompted you to start blogging, and when did you launch your site?
I was inspired to begin writing because of other women. Their blogs inspired me and gave me a confidence to launch into the world of writing. I’ve enjoyed writing since childhood, and blogging seemed like a perfect outlet for me.  It’s my stress reliever. 

The Domestic Fringe launched August 25, 2008.  I’m a rookie!

How much thought and time do you generally put into each post?
Unfortunately I spend more time on layout than on writing.  I’m not a web designer, so I’m facing many challenges, but I look forward to learning this new art. I spend approximately thirty minutes writing a post.  I can only write when an idea pops into my head and I start writing quickly because my mind doesn’t hang on to things for very long.  I like to write, walk away, divert my mind and come back later for the final edit.  I’d say my posts take about an hour to publish from start to finish.  Again, layout of my pages is the challenge.

What are some of your hobbies or accomplishments outside of blogging?
I love to read!  I enjoy scrapbooking, but I’m a social scrapbooker–can’t do it alone.  I’m an avid yard-saler and I dabble in sewing projects.  As for accomplishments… my kids are my greatest thus far.  I’ve also finished school earning my masters degree this past year.  To be honest, just getting the laundry done is an accomplishment in my life.

What struggle have you experienced with keeping your blog updated?
Managing my time is my biggest struggle.  I can’t spend too much time blogging or I’ll forget to live.  Then they’ll be nothing to blog about.  It can be a vicious cycle to get caught in.

What are some of your favorite blogs?
My favorite blogs are: 
Life In The Parsonage,
From Under The Laundry Pile, and
The Pioneer Woman

What Bible verse has God recently placed on your heart?
Proverbs 17:22  “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”

I believe God has been teaching me to enjoy the life he’s given me.  My grandfather passed away this summer at the age of 93 and he wasn’t ready to go, not because he didn’t look forward to heaven, but because he still had more life to live.  I want to live each day that the Lord gives me to its fullest.

Is there anything that you’d like to add in closing? 
I just want to encourage women to find the gift God’s given them, whatever it may be, and use it in faith knowing He will provide the increase.

Visit Tricia at: The Domestic Fringe

Married to her best friend for almost ten years, Jenifer is the mother of three precious treasures. She has been blessed to be a stay-at-home, home schoolin’ momma. She and her family moved to North Carolina four years ago for her husband to attend seminary and they have definitely bloomed where the Lord has planted them. Jenifer enjoys spending her days with her kiddos instilling within them a love and passion for Jesus and His Word. To relax, she enjoys writing devotionals and Bible Studies.

Jenifer graduated from college with a degree in Christian Counseling. Although she doesn’t have a “paying” job that supports her degree, she will tell you that the Lord uses those years of training everyday in the ministry that He has called her to. The Holy Spirit has placed within Jenifer’s heart a burning passion to study and teach His Word. Her desire is to share God’s unconditional love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness with ladies of all ages. God has opened the doors for her to share her story through teaching and writing women’s Bible studies and devotionals that can be used as tools to help women grow in their relationships with God.

How did you go about naming your blog, and where can we find it?
When the Lord first prompted me to begin blogging I realized that naming my blog was the first step in getting things up and running. I thought about what I would name my blog for days and those days turned into weeks. I didn’t think it would be so hard. I began praying two things: first, “Lord, how do You want me to use this blog?” Second, “got any suggestions for what to name this thing? I’m at a loss.”

Very quickly God answered me with the exact direction He wanted to take this blog in and what He wanted it to be named. The Lord has blessed my life in more ways than I can even begin to name. He has delivered me from deep pits of sin, saved, healed and restored my marriage which was on the doorsteps of a divorce, mended broken relationships and placed within my heart of burning passion to know Him more. The mission that He has me on through my blog is to lead women to the heart of a Savior who loves them no matter what. Speaking from one who likes to be in control of things, God has shown me that it is only by His grace that I am what I am today. In the end, there was no question that our ministry would be called “By His Grace” because without Him, I am nothing. We can be found at www.byhisgraceministry.blogspot.com

What do you find yourself writing about most often?
I normally write about what God is dealing with me on at the time- lessons He has taught me, challenges He has set before me, and areas in my life that He has shown me need some improvement. My kiddos also provide some great topics to share with others, as well as everyday life lessons.

What prompted you to start blogging, and when did you launch your site?
A friend of mine began blogging and introduced me to the idea of it. Then I was asked to set up a blog for the ladies of our church to have somewhere to visit to get encouragement from the Word. After much prayer, the Lord gave me the go ahead to set out on this journey. I began blogging in November 2007.

How much thought and time do you generally put into each post?
It depends. There are times when the Lord lays something on my mind and heart that I have to immediately share or I’ll bust wide open. Then, there are those times when the Lord begins dealing with me about an area in my life and He and I have to work through it for a while before it all fits together and I’m able to share. Right now, I have many “posts” that are in many different stages–some posts I have begun, gotten half way through and the Lord said stop, some have been completely finished but the Lord hasn’t given me the go ahead to share them yet, and some are still brewing in my mind and heart. My prayer for everything that I share is first, that it has become real in my life and then that the Lord uses it to somehow minister to others.

What are some of your hobbies or accomplishments outside of blogging?
Hummm. Hobbies!?! I don’t have much time for hobbies, although I do enjoy reading, scrap booking, and writing. My kiddo’s activities have now become my hobbies–dancing and taekwondo. Would Bible Study and teaching be considered a hobby? If so, I’m totally into that! I love digging into God’s Word and sharing with others what He has taught me.

What struggle have you experienced with keeping your blog updated?
My biggest struggle with blogging is balancing my time between all that I have going on in my life. I’ve had to do self-checks many times to make sure that those priorities in my life: God, family, and homeschooling my kiddos, were coming before my time on my blog.

What are some of your favorite blogs?
I have many favorite blogs. I hate to name just a few for fear of leaving some important ones out. So here’s a shout out to all of ya!!

What Bible verse has God recently placed on your heart?
The Lord gave me a verse a while back and I try my best to incorporate it into all that I do:
“For Ezra had prepared his heart to seek the Law of the LORD, and to do it, and to teach statutes and ordinances in Israel.” –Ezra 7:10

Through this verse God has shown me that I must first be studying His Word for myself, then practicing in my own life what it is that He has taught me and only after that will I be able to share with others.

Is there anything that you’d like to add in closing?
Jesus is my life. He is my joy, my strength, and my rock. It is a true honor to be a daughter of the King; for it is only By His Grace that I am what I am today. I praise You Jesus and give You all the glory!

Visit Jenifer at By His Grace

“Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” -Isaiah 43:19 (NKJV)

It has been said that life is unpredictable, but change is inevitable. Live long enough, and each of us will experience births, deaths, celebrations and setbacks. Change is a part of daily life, the ebb and flow of our existence.

Two Octobers ago, my husband and I witnessed a surprising change that took place at my favorite wildlife refuge. Situated back off the highway in an area reachable only by a dirt road, Baskett Slough is a wintering home for Canada geese and a host of other wildlife. It’s a rare visit when we don’t spot beaver and nutria paddling their way across the water, or a Great Blue Heron tiptoeing through neck-high grass on a fishing expedition.

This visit proved to be different, though.

We pulled up to the viewing area and I steadied my telescopic camera lens. It was then I realized that a drastic change had taken place within a few weeks’ absence. Instead of clear blue water, we found a whole lot of nothingness. No water, no geese, no songbirds. No furry animals paddling to the other side. Baskett Slough was uncharacteristically desolate and dry. A single fish flip-flopped in a small puddle of muddy water near the shore.

We whined about the awfulness of it all, but quickly recognized a rare opportunity: we could walk out across land that was usually submerged! A trail led down a grassy hill, where we made our way onto rock-hard, parched ground. Its deep crevices reminded me of a photo of a leathery, lined nomad’s face I’d seen in a recent issue of National Geographic magazine.

I wandered off with my camera, not knowing what to expect. To my surprise, I discovered life springing up between those crevices like miniature gifts of autumn. Splashes of gold and red dotted the parched landscape, where delicate, blooming vines curled over and between rocks. Tiny blossoms sprouted in tangles along a sandy edge where water once lapped. It was a fascinating dichotomy of nature, this mix of desolation and new life.

Drought has an astonishing way of forcing change. We witnessed it that day at the wildlife refuge, and again after a forest fire, where wildflowers eventually transformed charred ground into an artist’s palette of colors. Change sweeps through, and a once-predictable plot of land becomes something else seemingly overnight.

It’s not unlike what happens to you and I, when suddenly we realize that our journey through a season of drought has worked something deeper and richer and better into our lives-something we could not have learned any other way.

©2008, Bonnie Bruno

For more slice-of-life stories, visit Bonnie’s Macromoments blog: http://macromoments.blogspot.com

The crisp air and falling leaves outside my window remind me of how fleeting life is. Days turn into nights and before I know it, another month has passed in the blink of an eye. My son in second grade, my daughter is now a married woman and my middle daughter will be applying to college soon. Where is the time going?

One of the things I am so aware of as I watch my family grow and change is my need to remain committed to living a life of intent and purpose. It isn’t enough to let days slip through my fingers and hope for the best. I need to embrace each opportunity to build my home from the inside out.

I really want our home to be a respite from the outside world. I like to set up comfy corners to sit down for quiet time, inviting rooms to dine together and welcoming places to play games as a family. Yet designing that environment and stating my intent isn’t enough. I feel God has called me to create a life that is more than a mirage. When you look inside the windows of our life, behind the curtains, there should be more than just a pretty room inside.

That is the heart of authentic living for me. It is creating a life of purpose and living out what I believe. If I don’t commit myself to actually using those pretty rooms to play games with my children or sit down around our table for family dinners, life will pass on by in the chaos of lesser things. And I will miss the opportunities I say I hold the most dear.

As the calendar turns once again, I need to peek inside the windows of my home and ask myself what I am seeing behind those curtains. Do I find evidence of my commitment to living an authentic life?  Am I wholeheartedly pursuing the calling that God has placed on my life as the keeper of my home and mom to my children? Time will still fly by and obligations may grow, but living authentically day by day is one of the greatest challenges and privileges I have in life. I’m humbled by all God has entrusted to me.

“…prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.”

—James 1:22, NAS

©2008, Melissa Michaels

“It’ll get better if you get closer.”

John’s mom laughs as she untangles five-year-old John and Malakai, two boys practicing for a three-legged-race at a community gathering.

But our Malakai’s close to tears as I unknot him from a snarl of arms and legs and feet.

“Really, if you’ll get closer, put your arms around each other, you’ll find it gets easier.” John’s mom takes an arm and wraps it around a shoulder and I find one too and direct it around a neck, and the boys shyly giggle and step out again.

“One-two! One-two! One-two!” John’s mom chants, and I cheer, and the boys stride off in rhythm, arms flung over shoulders. And the boys turn faces to each other, happy eyes shining, and belly-laugh. Us mamas can’t help but laugh too. They’re maneuvering life’s tangle!

For isn’t family life a bit of a three-legged race? Days tie us together, and schedules trip us up, and everything snarls. We stumble and fall and it hurts. Tears brim.

“It’ll get better if we get closer.” Because relationship— love—is the most transformative force in the universe. It’s what God wants with us: intimate relationship. Get closer. And it will get better.

Too often, I buy the lie, the one the serpent hisses. Speak harsher and it will get better. (More tasks will get accomplished.) Push harder and it will get better. (More places can get crammed into the hours.) Bluster longer and it will get better. (More life squeezed into life.)

But don’t I know it? “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city…” (Proverbs 18:19). The harshness, the blustering, the pushing, offends and we trip. Knees and elbows smash and we  bruise. It gets harder to get up.

A flurry of accomplishments will not get us happily across life’s finish line. Tasks aren’t the purpose nor the priority. If to-do lists are what compels us, inevitably, we’ll stumble. Because that’s not the essence of family life.

The essence of family life is the care of souls.

When we tenderly draw near, collect hearts, wrap each other in arms and love, we hit our stride.  The three-legged race (or five legged or seven legged or ten legged race) becomes a happy delight. We get closer. And it gets better.

What I’m learning as we step (sometimes fumble) through the three-legged race of family life, these ways of getting closer genuinely make it better:

• Reach out and gently touch when you talk; make it a practice to always connect before your direct.
• Fully listen to conversations with your ears, eyes, whole body language. Smile into eyes.
• Make time for walks, a mug of hot chocolate, a chapter of a book read aloud together. There’s no better way to spend time than making time.
• Let your words fill with the affection you feel. Children don’t assume they’re loved when our words aren’t loving.
• Tuck in with long talks in the dark, a foot rub, prayers. It’s the happiest way to finish a day.
• Slow down: the priority is hearts not household tasks. Take a deep breath and preach to yourself often: “I want to be more than I want to do.” Relationship is not just the priority. It’s all there is. Our family relationship are hallowed. Aren’t they forever? (Clean floors and schedules aren’t.)

The three-legged boys practice intently and when the race begins, I’m at the other end, arms wide open, ready for Malakai and John as they step, tumble, laugh across the finish line. And when they fall into me and I wrap them up, this happiness feels good.

We’re closer and it couldn’t be better.

©2008, Ann Voskamp

Listen in as Jill chats with actress Ali Landry. Landry plays ‘Celia’ in the critically acclaimed movie Bella. Her husband, Alejandro Monterde, was the film’s director. Landry shares about life as a Christian in Hollywood and about what’s it’s like to work alongside her husband.

About Bella

Inspired by a true story, Bella is a powerful and moving tale about how one moment can change your life forever. Produced by Christian filmmakers, the film features outstanding performances from Emmy® Award winning actress Tammy Blanchard (TV’s Life with Judy Garland: Me and My Shadow“) and Mexican star Eduardo Verástegui (Chasing Papi).

The film was the winner of the Grand Prize from the Heartland Film Festival, the People’s Choice Award at the 2007 Toronto Film Festival, the Smithsonian Institute’s Legacy Award, Best Picture and Best Actor at the 2008 MovieGuide Awards and was named one of the Top 10 Most Redeeming Films of 2007 from Christianity Today magazine.

The pursuit of perfection often impedes improvement. —George F. Will

I love autumn, with its crisp leaves, brisk air and changing colors. However, as a recovering perfectionist, I’ve had many autumns in the past that fell short of my “ideal” fall.

Here are my usual expectations, followed by a dose of reality:

1. My husband will lovingly help me pick out just the right pumpkin for our son’s kindergarten craft project.
   Reality: Carey is so swamped with work that I run to Wal-Mart on October 30 and get a leftover shaped like a Hobbit.
2. The Christian child I’m raising will help me shop for Thanksgiving baskets for needy families.
   Reality: Five year-old Jordan stays in the toy aisle during the entire excursion, whining that he needs a “Home for the Holidays” G.I. Joe.
3. I’ll make pumpkin cookie platters for all the neighbors, with an evangelical tract attached.
   Reality: Only when I see the neighbors packing to leave for the Thanksgiving holidays do I begin to bake, and then realize I need to borrow half the ingredients from those same neighbors.
4. The extended family will all be together, healthy and happy, for a quiet, reflective Thanksgiving.
   Reality: Two siblings don’t even show up, the “crazy uncle” shows everybody his newest surgical scar, and my giblet gravy looks more like—well, let’s not even go there.

This year was no different. Since Carey had to work on Halloween, I took Jordan to our church’s Fall Festival. It was a doozy—bounce houses, pony rides, Bible-themed carnival games, costume contests, and an inflatable obstacle course. I expected a fun-filled night, complete with many Kodak moments.

However, only an hour into our evening, Jordan came off the big slide in tears. My first thought was that someone had picked on him. My second thought was finding the little bully and—well, we were in the church parking lot, so I decided against physical violence.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” I asked.

He wouldn’t tell me, but I soon figured out that he had torn his pants. And no amount of cajoling would get him back in the game. So we went home and watched America’s Funniest Home Videos.

I was a little distraught at how our evening had turned out, especially when the doorbell rang. Since we hadn’t planned on being home, I didn’t have enough candy for trick-or-treaters.

“Mom, kids are at the door!” Jordan yelled at me, while I frantically looked for granola bars or fruit.

“I don’t have enough candy,” I lamented, as he kept pointing to the door.

“They can have mine,” Jordan said, reaching into his purple pumpkin, full of prizes from carnival games.

With my mouth agape, I opened the door and watched him gleefully fill the trick-or-treaters’ sacks.

The rest of the evening, my son had a ball passing out his hard-won candy to strangers with painted faces, and I marveled at the child who had reminded me: life may tear your expectations to pieces once in a while, but focusing on others helps you forget your troubles.
And being a perfectionist isn’t near as much fun as it’s made out to be.

©2008, Dena Dyer

“Holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord.”  Hebrews 12:14

Mother Theresa is quoted as saying “True holiness consists in doing God’s will with a smile.” That goes against the grain of popular culture, which has the pursuit of personal happiness as its mantra and false message.

Recently, in a conversation with a young woman,  I questioned her about the choices she was making, which were going against the grain of all the values she had been taught, and which were going against God’s teachings that she knew so well.

Her reply was “Well, everybody tells me to do whatever it is that makes me happy.”

I wondered in my heart if, indeed, she was happy, given she was going against all that she once held so dear. I wondered what had happened that caused her to lower her standards and get caught up with people who were encouraging her to participate in activities which she never would have dreamed of doing before.

At one point in time, she would have cringed and said that there would be NO way she could ever be with a person who asked her to do things that went against her morals and beliefs; at one point in time, she would have remained faithful and steadfast in her faith and her beliefs.

But staying holy in this day and age is very difficult. There are so many pressures from different areas—from peers, from TV and the movies, from society in general, and even from older people who are still caught up in the old “if it feels good, do it” mentality.

To remain holy means to seek out people and sustain relationships with those who have similar beliefs and convictions. Convictions which hold to the fact that it is imperative to follow God’s will at all times, and not be a slave to your own desires. The true Christian ideal is NOT to be happy, rather, it is to be holy.

The temptations out there are great. The promise of happiness, if you do what your heart desires, is the prevalent message—from engaging in premarital sex, to spending a lot of money, to drinking and smoking and doing drugs, to pornography, to addictions. But as Campbell Morgan points out, “Holiness is not freedom from temptation, but power to overcome temptation.”

So, how does one overcome these temptations? Through God’s grace and through prayer. By surrounding yourself with other Christians. By going to Mass or to church on a regular basis. By joining Bible studies. What one doesn’t do is stay close to people who are leading you astray.  The longer you engage in sinful behaviors, the easier it is to continue on with them because your conscience is rubbed away a little bit more each time you participate in them. Your soul grows further away from Christ.

There is a connection between sin and sorrow, between holiness and happiness. Making godly choices makes a person holy and happy. Ask anyone who has been entrenched in ungodly behaviors—are they happy? Is the young woman I mentioned above truly happy? Her eyes are very sad. She’s angry at God. She feels disconnected from her family because her behaviors not only hurt her relationship with God, but also her relationships with her family members.  That disconnection is very painful to her, even if she doesn’t recognize it as such. What she needs to realize is that God is willing to take her  back into His fold. Her family will welcome her back wholeheartedly. All she has to do is ask for forgiveness and get back on track again.

“The holy man is not one who cannot sin—a holy man is one who will not sin,” per A.W. Tozer. It’s a conscious decision to sin or not to sin. God’s special gift to us is holiness. It is ours for the asking, if only we follow His will.

Let us pray for those people out there who are struggling, wanting to follow their own desires rather than God’s will in their lives. Let us pray for those people who find it hard to break free from the shackles of their sins. Let us pray for parents who are trying to teach their children God’s way, while fighting against the message from the world’s way.  For without holiness, we will never see the kingdom of God.

Holiness is the state of the soul in which all the powers of the body and the mind are consciously given up to God.
—Phoebe Palmer

©2008, Valerie Wolff

Hi Candace, I grew up watching you on television. I am now 33 years old and I recently became a mother to a beautiful little girl named Mikayla. She proved to me that God doesn’t let you know how wonderful and amazing motherhood is until you have a child. Mikayla is the single greatest joy in our lives and we cherish her every day.

Anyway, on to my question…

I have been on your website and viewed your beautiful pictures and can’t help but think “how does she look so good, and stay in such great shape after having three kids?!” I was quite thin pre-baby, but I haven’t managed to get my body back, in the 8 months since Mikayla was born.

Any advice on how you got into shape after your babies? I am breastfeeding (I’m not sure if you did as well), therefore I can’t go on any strict diets, but I’d love to hear what your diet and exercise regimen were like post baby.

Thanks, Candace

_________________________

Note: CWO advises that you check with your doctor before starting any diet or exercise plan, to ensure that it’s a safe route for you.

Congratulations on your daughter! 8 months and breast-feeding, huh? Surely you can shed a few pounds. My sister is breast-feeding and her son is 4 months. She called me this morning to tell me she dropped her last 3 pounds.

No, you can’t go on any strict diets, but you can certainly eat healthier and exercise more. Walks with Mikayla in the stroller are perfect. Start doing it 5 days a week! I also loved doing exercise DVD’s when the kids were taking naps (or before they woke up).

Eat fresh foods–meaning no processed foods with ingredients listing words that you can’t pronounce! If it grows in the ground or on a tree and God made it without man fixing it up–eat it!! Eat lots of fresh veggies, fruits and lean proteins like chicken, turkey and fish. I keep my portions small and try not to stuff myself. Half way through, I check myself, “Am I satisfied–not full, but satisfied?” If so, I keep the rest for later.

It all comes down to your intake of calories. It’s no big secret. I don’t have any miracles. I eat healthy and exercise. You can do it too! If you’re not sure how to “eat healthy,” there are lots of good books or programs that can help you learn like “The South Beach Diet” or “Weight Watchers.” Because you’re breast-feeding, you can keep up your calories, but make sure they’re good calories and not from fried foods and soda pop.

Here are my tips in a nutshell:

Stop eating when you’re satisfied
Don’t eat fried food or fast food
Don’t drink soda pop or sugar drinks
Eats lots of fresh veggies, fruit and lean proteins
Keep desserts to a few bites
Snack on nuts (7-10)
Drink lots of water
Get some exercise!

Hope this helps jump-start your weight loss. And one more thing–read Darlene Schacht’s column “Live Well!” It will motivate you to stay on the right track!

Barbecue, football, and spectacular fall foliage are a few of the exciting things October brings. The carefree time of summer has given way to managing schedules. October is a time to celebrate the harvest and to catch our breath before Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Has this year gone fast? Or is it just me? This month also marks my one year anniversary as the writer for Book Buzz. Thank you for being wonderful readers.  My prayer is that you will find books that will deepen your walk with Christ.

This month Washington’s Lady and In the Shadow of Lions will give readers a deeper understanding of history.  Blood Brother is a suspenseful book that will remind readers of what is truly important while Living the Lord’s Prayer is a devotional style book that takes an ordinary prayer and provides a great foundation to Christian living.  I highly recommend each on of these books for Fall reading.

Blood Brothers
By Rick Acker
Glass Road PR
June 2008

Neurostim is a brand new drug that increases a person’s productivity and creativity.  If this drug passes the FDA standards it could really benefit everyone from policemen, firemen, the military, all the way down to a college student trying to cram for exams.  However some of the initial tests of this new drug show monkeys exhibiting maniacal, homicidal behaviors.

Brothers Karl Bjornsen and Gunner Bjornsen are in a battle for control over the company. What began as a simple case of trade secrets escalates when embezzlement and bribery are revealed.  When Gunner’s lawyer Ben Corbin and his team travel to Norway to investigate the discrepancies, their very lives become endangered.

Blood Brothers had me on the first page and I could not put it down until the last. With a Christian backdrop throughout the book it reminds the readers what is truly important in life.  This is a suspenseful, thrilling, and well written book.

Rick Acker is an author but for his “real job” he serves as Deputy Attorney General in California.  He writes each of his books while traveling.  If you like suspenseful novels you don’t want to miss Blood Brothers.

Washington’s Lady
By Nancy Moser
Bethany House June 2008
399 pages

Nancy Moser does it again with her new historical novel Washington’s Lady. Moser with her detailed historical research and creativity re-creates Martha Washington.  Throughout history I have known very little about Mrs. Washington.  This book provides insight and depth to George and Martha, commonly known as the United States’ First Couple.  Martha Dandridge Custis, was a wealthy woman who was recently widowed with two small children when she first met George Washington.  Throughout her life she was faced with death, tragedy, six years absence of her husband during the Revolutionary War, then reluctantly became the First Lady.  At the end of the book Moser gives a Fact-or-Fiction account which shows the historical details woven into this enjoyable book.  Washington’s Lady will give you a stronger desire to know more personally the woman who became the United States First Lady.

In The Shadow of Lions
By Ginger Garrett
Published by David C Cook
293 pages

This is the story of two women trying to find their way in an unforgiving world and how the men in their life shaped their belief in God.  Anne Boleyn refused to become a mistress of King Henry like her sister.  Despite King Henry’s persistent attempts to woo her, she stood firm in being pure and faithful to God.  Rose, a woman of the night, is looking for restoration of her past when she is taken in by Thomas More.

Both of these women find answers in the first English translation of the Bible and both of their lives will never be the same because of this book.

I will admit I did not care for this book at first and I decided to give it 100 pages before I would put it down.  But the book drew me in and after 100 pages I could not put it down.  I am so glad I did not give up on the book because there is rich treasure to find.  This is a book that has had me thinking about it even after I have turned the last page.  This is a must read book.  You will gain more knowledge of history and appreciate what others have done in order for us to have bibles in our home.  I look forward to Ginger Garrett’s next book

Living the Lord’s Prayer
By David Timms
Bethany House Publishers
240 pages

Daivd Timms takes the Lord’s Prayer and divides it up phrase by phrase.  This devotional-style book takes a prayer that is often recited without thought and provides depth for even the most veteran Christian.  If you are looking for an easy to read, devotional-style book I strongly recommend “Living the Lord’s Prayer.”  Timms covers topic likes love for the broken, holiness in an age of profanity, dealing with evil, learning dependency and appreciating simplicity.  This book lays the foundation for leading a meaningful Christian life.

How appropriate that our CWO theme this month is change. As the leaves begin to turn and the air takes on a cooler complexion, it’s clear that seasonal change is upon us. Yet, these weather changes are reasonably predictable. After all, as boomer babes we’ve seen several decades of climate changes—right? We know what’s coming down the pike.

However, it is life changes that I’d like to talk about today. The changes that often take us by surprise, the changes we can’t predict. The changes we survive only through fervent prayer and by the sheer grace of God.

This past week I received two complimentary books in the mail from two different publicists. Publicists often send me things to share with my fellow boomer babes. A benefit of writing this column, mind you, which I appreciate (and love) very much! Receiving both of these books at this particular time seemed more than a coincidence—since they both focus on change.

Staging Your Comeback – A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45
By Christopher Hopkins, The Makeover Guy

and

Starting from Scratch When You’re Single Again
By Sharon M. Knudson and Mary Fran Heitzman

Both books address the topic of change in two very different ways. The first encourages us to look at our outer appearance and to assess what needs changing. Not a bad thing to do at any age, but particularly important when we’re over fifty and still wearing little plastic butterfly barrettes in our hair. (After getting rid of said barrettes, I also cleaned out my closet, dressing table, and jewelry box.) This was a very good exercise and I must say the book opened my eyes to things I never considered concerning my body type and coloring. As the season changes, I look forward to changing my style as well. I’m ready. How about you?

As for the second book, the changes it addresses are far more serious—far more life transforming than any closet culling. Starting from Scratch When You’re Single Again carries the voices of twenty-three women who have, through divorce or death of a loved one, survived a horrific blow to their dreams of happiness and security. Their experiences resound with the message that you can get through the grief, and not only survive; but also thrive.

Filled with page after page of hope and healing—the authors discuss change in a way that any boomer babe who is experiencing this time in life will more than appreciate. Run, don’t walk to your bookstore if your journey of change has taken this unexpected path.

I’d like to leave you with a guiding principle directly from the book. For any boomer babe who is going through the painful change of starting over again, take heed. God will always make a way where there seems to be no way.

“Choose your fear and conquer it. Walk through your pain, and you will eventually see the other side. If you step out in faith, you will overcome the very thing that paralyzes you. If you don’t, you can get stuck in your past and forfeit your future.

Remember this: God designed us to overcome, and the God we cling to is our only strength. Surrender your fear of failing to Him, and let Him take you across your hurdles. It is not about trust.”

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.
—Hebrews 10:35-36

If more than seasonal change is in the air for you, trust what Scripture teaches us in Jeremiah 31:3-4

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt.

Until next month, dear Boomer Babes who Rock, may the good Lord bless and keep you all!

©2008, Allison Bottke
www.AllisonBottke.com

“…Let us go up at once, and possess it;
for we are well able to overcome it.”
—Numbers 13:30, KJV

I have been giving some thought to the modern woman.  When my mom got married the expectation for a woman that was working was to quit her job and look after her home. An employer was shocked if she wanted to continue working. With the advent of modern technology and household appliances the employer today would be shocked by the woman who wanted to stay home and look after her spouse.

By the time I married the bar had been raised. A woman had options.  She could be a homemaker and devote her life to raising children or she could get a career as a professional.  The woman who tried both was frowned upon by society for not devoting herself wholly to her profession of choice.

The world is different for the modern woman.  Society expects her to be a homemaker AND work, even if she is single.  For many there is no option of being the stay at home mom, either out of deference to her spouse or for financial reasons.

I have great admiration for the efforts of today’s woman.  She is expected to be the Proverbs 31 woman day in and day out.  I hear the exhaustion of these women daily.

I have two important messages for this modern woman.

First, you are not alone. Jesus promises that He will never leave us or forsake. He has left us the gift of his Holy Spirit to be our comfort and guide. He is our ever present friend in time of trouble. Those that wait upon Him will renew their strength. He is the same God yesterday today and forever.  He knew this time in history would come and has prepared a way for you that you may be able to endure it. We will not only endure but have been made more than conquerors!

My second piece of advice is Lemonade Ice Cream cake, which is as delicious as it sounds!  It’s quick to make and serve and can be savored in the two minutes you get to yourself in a day.  Remember to take a few minutes each day to recharge your batteries.  After you have spent time with God in reading and prayer, spend time with you.

Pour a cup of hot tea and enjoy a slice of Lemonade Ice Cream Cake.  Reward yourself for being all that God has called you to be.  Enjoy your calm in the chaos as you savor the succulence of each mouthful.

Lemonade Ice Cream Cake

Graham Cracker Crust
1 1/4 c Graham cracker crumbs
1 T Sugar
3 T melted margarine or butter

Cake
1/2 gallon vanilla ice cream
1 cup frozen whipped topping
6 oz Frozen lemonade concentrate

Instructions:

Crust
Mix graham cracker crumbs, sugar and margarine.
Line bottom and sides of pie pan with mixture.

Cake
Let ice cream and whipped topping melt slightly.  Blend ice cream, ¾ cup whipped topping and lemonade concentrate together.

Spread in pan. Top with remaining whipped topping. Freeze minimum 4 hours.

For a healthier version of this recipe make it with low fat ingredients.

Darlene Zschech is known worldwide for her ability to move listeners into a state of worship, both by her gifted ability to sing, and the heart-felt lyrics that warm our souls.

Her worship songs have been popular amongst churchgoers since the release of “Shout to the Lord,” the title track of the first live album co-produced with Integrity Music.

Born in Brisbane, Australia, Darlene began singing and performing at a young age, and by her teen years was singing jingles for popular companies like McDonalds, KFC, and Diet Coke.

At the age of fifteen, Darlene gave her life to Jesus Christ–a decision that opened a door for God’s leading to where she is today. Being the worship pastor at Hillsong Church in Sydney, Australia she oversees a team of over 800 volunteers. The Hillsong albums have gained popularity in both the Christian and secular market with 14 live worship albums all certified gold by the Australian Recording Industry Association.

With a passion to care for the hurting, Darlene and her husband Mark initiated the ‘100 days of hope project’ in 2006, to bring hope to the nation of Rwanda who suffered the horrific genocide of 1994.

Through Mercy Ministries, Darlene and Mark minister to young women, helping them through issues of abuse, unplanned pregnancy, and eating disorders.

God has also blessed Darlene and Mark with three daughters–Amy, Chloe and Zoe, and together they reside in Sydney Australia.

Although Darlene is an extremely busy woman, it was my pleasure and honor to have caught up with her this month to talk about her singing, her walk with God, and about her new album “Change Your World” dated for release November 8th.

____________

I understand that you oversee a team of over 800 volunteers in the Worship & Creative Arts department, of Hillsong church in Sydney Australia. Which keeps you busier—being the worship pastor, or raising three children?

Definitely raising three children keeps me personally busier…..as we have an awesome team that assist me on a daily basis with the worship and creative arts dept.

Well, those kids are blessed to have a mom like you and a father like Mark–as you are three times blessed in return.

____________

I’d like to offer our condolences and our prayers to you on the recent passing of your father-in-law. Can you tell us what positive influences he had on your life?

Mark’s dad has been one incredible human being. A missionary, a man who really gave up the lures of this world to pursue Christ, and a worshipper to the core. He was a very softly spoken man, but when he had something to say, you knew it would be gold… and so all would listen. He loved us all very, very much and will be missed every moment of every day.

He sounds wonderful. We’d all love to have in-laws like him who are so grounded in their faith.

____________

Darlene, at what age did you get saved, and can you tell us a bit about that experience?

I was fifteen when I gave my life to Christ…. It was literally my defining moment, and the best way to describe it to you would be that I was BLOWN AWAY  by the unconditional love of Christ. Growing up on television… I always felt the need to perform to achieve value… finding Christ, was like finding my centre, my reason, my anchor. I will ever be grateful.

____________

Many readers may not know that you are a former child television star; can you tell us a about that experience?

Star might be a bit of an exaggeration… although to my mother I know I was! I have been singing since I was 3, and paid full time to sing since I was ten years old. The experience I received was invaluable… being in the recording studio every week, being mentored by incredible local muso’s and artists – gaining a level of confidence in front of the camera which has also proved to be invaluable….

____________

You’ve written, recorded, and performed countless worship songs; do you have a personal favorite?

Hard to say… Glorify Your Name would be one of the favourites which I have written, Take All of Me would be one of my faves which Marty Sampson wrote…

____________

I’m excited to see that your newest CD, “Change Your World” is due to arrive in stores on November 8th. Iunderstand that there is a passion behind this CD; what is “Change your World” all about?

Change Your World is about exactly that…. I believe in the power of a worshipping heart, a heart that is committed to Christ–to be ACTIVE in our pursuit of making a difference in the world we live in, and not for our benefit, but for the benefit of the seemingly forgotten, the abandoned, the orphans and the widows.  CHANGED by the SPIRIT of GOD… to BRING CHANGE in the world we live in….

I’ve seen the video and listened to some of the clips online, it really is a powerful CD and one I can’t wait to add to my collection this month.

____________

My name has often been confused with yours, but the disappointment quickly sets in when they learn that I’m not you, which is quite understandable since I’m disappointed myself sometime.

Do most people have a hard time spelling your last name, and was it ever a thought early on to change it?

I never thought about changing my name… it’s who I am.

Bravo to you Darlene I like the name too.

____________

I’ve read that Mercy Ministries reaches out to young women who suffer from eating disorders, unwanted pregnancies, and issues of abuse. As a young woman, did you suffer with any of these issues?

Well, like many young woman who battle with self esteem issues, I struggled with Bulimia over a period of 5 years. As a form of control, I would binge and purge, abuse my body with laxatives and all I can say looking back, is that I am so grateful for the love of a heavenly father, and the  love and support of my beautiful best friend, my husband Mark….

Husbands can be wonderful–the undying love of a best friend and spouse is truly a gift from God.

____________

Darlene, the world sees you as a world-renowned Christian recording artist. What else do you hope they will see?

I pray people will see a woman who is devoted to Christ and His worship, and devoted to the lives of others.

Ok, good because that’s what I’m seeing too.

____________

Do you have a favorite Bible verse, or one that’s been on your heart that you can share with us today?

Psalm 145 is key for me…. It’s David talking about proclaiming the goodness of God to the next generation… and praising the Lord at all times, no matter what is going on……

There is strength in that Psalm. What a powerful scripture, thank you

____________

Lastly—a question I’ve always wanted to ask–when you eat your Smarties, do you eat the red one’s last?

MMMMMM, I’m not really a smarties chick… Definitely a peanut M&Ms chick… and no, not red ones last!!!

Love you… Darls

Darlene, we love you too, thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us girls at CWO. I’ll be looking for your CD this month, but before I do that, I’m off to pick up some peanut M&M’s and then I’m settling down with my nose in Psalm 145.

____________

You can find out more about Darlene Zschech by visiting her website at:

www.darlenezschech.com

Check out her newest CD at:

www.changeyourworldonline.com

When I started out writing this column, I assumed the articles would generally be about living well—not particularly on weight loss. But as the readership grew, I started receiving feedback—lots of feedback—
from women who were struggling with weight. It was then that I realized that God was using me to minister to other women who, like me, struggle with food issues.

Because of this ministry, and my focus toward it, I am continually finding scripture that speaks to the struggle. I’m encouraged with the knowledge that God understands our desire to lose, and gives us the tools necessary to win.

So this week, in our home Bible study group we talked about meekness. How does that relate to appetite? It completely relates when you understand what the true meaning of the word is, and how it applies to our life.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
—Matthew 5:5

Let’s look closer at the word meek:

The Greek word is praeiv, translated in Strong’s Concordance (#4239) as: mildness of disposition, gentleness of spirit, meekness.

So the idea is that a meek person is someone who is gentle, tolerant, patient, and long suffering, and someone who is submissive to their Lord.

Contrary to the way the world would see it, meekness does not equate weakness—in fact it’s the exact opposite. Meekness is being strong yet controlled.

When studying the word I found that the Greeks would often equate meekness with the taming of an animal, such as a horse that was broken in as apposed to one that is wild.

This reminded me of our old Pit bull, Bailey. With her incredible jaw and body strength, she was capable of doing severe damage, and yet she was the meekest animal I have ever met. We knew she was a good pup when she first rolled over on her back to greet us—a submissive sign that we recognized.

By the time Bailey was a few years old, she was trained to respond well to her leash. She was also trained to stop at each corner, and look both ways before crossing the street. One evening while out for a walk, Bailey was harassed by a dog one-tenth her size. The little dog charged across the street with a bark far bigger than his bite. I knew that Bailey could take the little squirt out with one gulp, but instead of retaliating, she remained under control. Following the lead of her master.

I look to Jesus whose very life was a reflection of His desire to follow the Father.

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. –Isaiah 53:7

And the same meek and gentle, Jesus Christ…

…entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the moneychangers and the benches of those selling doves. —Matthew 21:12, NIV

Always ready to defend His faith, yet never defending Himself. Therein lies the strength of the meek, in the ability to control ones passions and desires.

If we learn to control our passions in the small things of life, we equip ourselves to be further controlled in the larger issues. On the other hand, if we let our emotions rule us, we become a slave to them.

It is not good to eat much honey; so for men to search their own glory is not glory. He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
—Proverbs 25:27 & 28.

Jesus equipped Himself for ministry by fasting in the wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights, bringing His body under subjection to the spirit, can you say no to an extra brownie or two? Can you say no to pop and grab water instead? Each time you let your passions rule your choice, you are letting them rule you. Isn’t that a discouraging thought?

Can you imagine how great a force we could be if we could live a life of meekness in the same manner as Him. We become a conquering force not only able to reject the next binge, but to stand up for our faith when the going gets tough.

If controlling our appetite weren’t of great importance, why would fasting be of any use? It’s a form of self-denial, and any healthy denial of self teaches our soul that our Spirit is the one in charge.

Losing weight is great, ladies, but our pant size is not what bugs us the most, is it? It’s our failure to control our appetite time and again. It’s the overwhelming feeling that we’re in bondage to food. It’s the feeling that we’re trapped in a body that has control over us. That’s why we want change. That’s why we need change!

The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the LORD that seek him: your heart shall live for ever.
—Psalm 22:26

©2008, Darlene Schacht

*We advise that you always consult your doctor before starting any diet or exercise program.

God is love and all who live in love live in God
and God lives in them…Such love has no fear
because perfect love expels all  fear.
If we are afraid it is for fear of judgment
and this shows that his love
has not been perfected in us.
—First John 4:16&18 NLT

I grew up in a small town in Southern Illinois similar to Andy Griffith’s Mayberry, where there is common familiarity and no strangers wander the streets. When I was five years old my dad gave me a nickel for ice cream and I casually made my way downtown alone; blonde curls bouncing, black patent leather shoes clicking on the concrete sidewalk for seven or eight blocks in search of the cone. The local cab driver picked me up and took me to the police station and there I sat in a huge wooden chair, entertaining the officers with my childish antics until my frantic father arrived to take me home. Children were safe in Herrin, and crime was virtually non-existent. There was a warmth about that town that you don’t very often find today. In truth, small towns have their benefits and their detriments.

My parents attended a house of worship, one where unusual occurrences were commonplace. People often came to the front of the church for prayer for various assortments of ailments and many of them left completely whole, relieved of their pain and suffering. It wasn’t at all unusual to see someone come in a wheelchair and leave without it. Afterwards, the ominous steel chair placed at the front of the house… a constant reminder to those who entered that hallowed place of God’s miracle working power.

I’m sure the music I heard in that church left a lifelong impression on me, and I still remember the words and chords to every old hymn sung there. The choir bellowed fervently with such great enthusiasm that it was hard for the congregation to stay in their seats. We’d all rise, hands clapping, hearts lifted toward heaven, spirits soaring, caught up in the deep and genuine emotion of praise to the Creator.

The minister had a theatrical approach to sermonizing that kept all of us enraptured. He painted a vivid picture of heaven and hell, and I’m quite certain there wasn’t a single soul in that house who hadn’t made a clear cut choice for their eternal home at the completion of the pastor’s message. It seemed all his messages had something to do with living right and behaving in an appropriate manner that would insure our heavenly home.

Expectations and rules of conduct were laid out precisely, most of them directed toward women and girls. The do’s and don’ts of that particular sect of Christianity were severe and when I was a child, I didn’t question them. But, as I became a teenager I struggled with the set of laws I was expected to adhere to. We couldn’t cut or trim our hair, no make-up was allowed, no long pants, or shorts. Therefore, I couldn’t participate in my high school marching band as pants were part of the uniform. No swimming with people of the opposite sex (called “mixed bathing”) in or around public pools, and we couldn’t go to movie theaters or parties, unless the party was thrown by people within our particular church. High School prom was absolutely taboo. Our clothing had to meet specific standards- high necks, long sleeves and dresses to or below the knee.

As long as we met the specifications, we were accepted with warmth and fellowship, but if the rules were broken in the slightest measure, the punishment was swift and sure.

When I was 16, I played the piano for the church and the minister noticed that I had trimmed an inch or two off of my waist length hair. He removed me from the platform, called me into his office and explained my disrespect had cost me my position. He promised to show me scriptural proof of my sin, but as the days and weeks progressed, the only proof of my hell-bound rebellion was his fiery sermons demanding absolute subservience to his interpretation of scripture. Love, grace, tolerance and acceptance were not a part of that denominational code, so as you can well imagine, I had a skewed understanding and interpretation of God and spirituality.  In fact, the only real knowledge I had of God was one of fear, and strict expectation. I lived everyday with the apprehension that I would go to hell for this infraction or that one. I was completely unaware of the true nature of God’s grace and benevolence.

And with that particular belief system shaping my life, I came into adulthood with a driving need for perfection. I had to make myself perfect in order to please God, and to be accepted by those around me. I was a people- pleaser in every sense of the word. Every aspect of my life was impacted by this gripping need for acceptance. I had no concept of my own identity, as it had been so wrapped up and defined by rules and expectations of my church.

This need for perfection and its illusive control over my life battered my self-confidence into the ground. Everything I did, or attempted to do, was from a point of searching for acceptance and love. When you feel that love from God and others is predicated on your ability to earn that love and acceptance by the perfection of your deeds, then you have no idea how to be yourself or find who you really are. Every move and decision is based on the need for approval. I was completely imprisoned by my misinformed beliefs, and unfortunately took some dreadful roads in my quest for love. The truth is, there is no perfection within the human effort, only the effort itself.

I moved to St. Louis to attend university and found a house of worship that intrigued me. The minister stood to deliver his sermon and I braced myself for the expected lashing. But instead, this man spoke of the love of God… of the gift purchased for us by Jesus’ death on the cross, how we are no longer subject to the law, as grace took its place at Calvary. He went on to say we would never be perfect, as there was only one perfect sinless lamb offered up for the mistakes of all mankind and it is in Jesus’ perfection alone that our imperfections are forgiven. He spoke of the holiness of the heart, and explained that this is based on relationship with God, not on strict outward appearances. I listened with an intent ear, never having heard such things before and wondering if somehow this grace was enough for a hopeless sinner like me. God is love and all who live in love live in God and God lives in them…Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear.

What a life changing revelation. Could it be true? I would never, could never earn my way into Heaven by the perfection of my deeds. Was it really through Christ alone and my faith in Him that I was forgiven and whole to walk in this new life I’d been given? What a freedom that came to my heart through the understanding of forgiveness. I felt like a one hundred pound weight of fear and needless expectation had been lifted from my soul. I could live, and be, and choose for myself how I would express my life before God. And He would direct my path each day. Such freedom was completely foreign to me, but joyously welcome.

This is how my journey began; it is one I live each day with the intimate understanding of His mercies, His power and His presence, all fresh every morning.  And although I continue to struggle and will likely always have some challenge in the area of overcoming my need to make everything around me perfect, still, I am a child of God, unique, gifted and talented in ways that are meant to bring Him glory and honor. He has taught me the true holiness of the heart and my prayer is that I grow in His grace each day and that my experiences will enrich the lives of those around me. I choose to embrace the freedom to live my life in love, to give and receive that love freely, without the needless imprisonment of perfection and the fear of failure.

My friend Nathan is a character. During his first real “out in the world” experience (otherwise known as kindergarten), he became enamored of one little girl, a girl we’ll call Taylor Butler, because that’s her name.

Every afternoon, when he made the pilgrimage back home and sat down to a snack and a debriefing with Mom and/or Dad, Nathan would share Taylorbutler stories. And that’s how he said her name–all smashed together like it was one unseparatable word: “Taylorbutler.” Chris (my husband’s assistant pastor) and Cora learned all kinds of things about Taylorbutler–the colors she liked to wear most often, the fascinating way she held her crayons, which snack she’d eat first out of her lunchbox … Nathan saw and recorded it all.

One afternoon, Nathan brought home a letter of concern. It seemed the teacher had caught him poking Taylorbutler. Cora decided that poking matters fell under “father duties,” so she handed the letter to Chris.

“Nathan,” Chris said, “did you poke Taylorbutler?”

Nathan nodded.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to see if she was squishy.”

An immediate question rose in Chris’ mind. “Uh … exactly where did you touch her to find this out?”

Nathan poked his dad right in the side, just below his rib cage. “Here, Dad.”

Chris was, of course, relieved. “And … was she squishy there?”

Nathan grinned and nodded slowly. “Oh, yeah.”

I just love that kid. He has a quirky way of viewing things, and all these little idiosyncracies that keep me laughing. I especially like the way he phrases things.

Whenever he wants to make sure Cora doesn’t forget something, say, a promised trip to MacDonalds or some other privilege, Nathan will instruct her: “Write that up, Mom,” and she does.

Chris and Cora lead one of our church’s home fellowship groups, which they host every other Sunday night. One Sunday afternoon, Nathan wondered if perhaps this was the night all his friends came over for home fellowship.

“Hey, Dad–is tonight home fellyshellygloop?”

What would we do without kids? They give us some of our best insights, and certainly some of our most colorful words. “Fellyshellygloop” is one of my all-time favorites.

It’s important, you know. We’re meant to fellowship together. We were created with fellowship-needs. Somehow, some of us have forgotten that. Not kids, though. Kids have an instinct that drives them to herd together and compare their owies and share their Skittles. They’re always up for a get-together. Always. Have you ever known a child to say, “Nah. I’m not in a socializing mood?” Of course you haven’t. My daughter once asked, while shivering despite her 103 degree temperature, “If I stop shaking, can Jaimey come over?”

We’ve much to learn from these short people. Herd together with someone this weekend–or lots of someones. Go to church! It’s good for your heart to be among people who share your beliefs, people you can show your owies to. Find another couple to have lunch with afterwards. We’ll be at Scott and Diana’s Sunday afternoon, if you’re looking for us.

This weekend, find yourself some good fellyshellygloop. You won’t be sorry.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
~Heb 10:25 (NIV)

©2008, Shannon Woodward

We Have Another Victory!

Dear Friends,

Thank you for praying. WE HAVE ANOTHER VICTORY!

As I write this Sokhan is driving back with the five children whose father murdered their mother last week. It will be late, after dark, before they arrive. I can’t begin to imagine how hard this must be for the children, especially for the oldest girl who is 15 and feels responsible for her little brother and sisters the youngest of whom is only 3.

Please don’t stop praying!!! Now we have the challenge of giving comfort and love to these kids and to help them feel secure and able to go on with their lives. We could never dare try to do this without the Lord Jesus. Pray that we might have an ocean of His love to give to them.

This morning we were told of three more children. Their oldest brother is in a Christian university dorm in Phnom Penh. Recently the father died and then the mother got sick. Without money for medicine she fell into despair and committed suicide leaving 3 young children. The university student has gone to Battambang for the funeral and we are sending word that he should bring his younger siblings to us.

Can we count on you to support all of us with your prayers?

THANK YOU FOR CARING!!

Marie,
for all of us at Place of Rescue

Hi -

It was three years ago today that Sara was in the hospital and was gravely ill. I’ll never forgot how they wheeled her away into the PICU, and I stood in front of her hospital room window, looking at the sunset and praying frantically. When I followed her to the PICU, they had me wait outside while they got her into her bed. I waited for approximately a half an hour. In that time frame, I prayed to Mary to save her. I prayed the rosary. I asked Mary to intercede on my behalf. When I walked into to see Sara, I was expecting to see the worst. What I saw instead was a groggy young lady, just out of a coma, sitting on a stool and talking with a doctor. I looked at the doctor and said “what just happened”? They couldn’t answer how or why she was pulled out of her coma, or why her temperature broke from 106* to 102* in the matter of a few minutes. All I could say is that it was a miracle.

I am praying for another miracle today, three years to the day of that miracle. I am praying for her return to her family and her faith. Can you please join in with me and pray for this as well? Thank you.

Love, Val

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Some time ago, I received an email with a question that I found very intriguing. Unfortunately, a technical difficulty corrupted my email folder and I was unable to access it again.  Imagine my delight when I was browsing through some other files and located the note tucked away where it didn’t belong.  Of course, I shouldn’t say it didn’t belong there because God obviously preserved it for such a time as this!

An anonymous sister asked,

“Few people realize the dilemma of a pastor’s wife. Her husband is the ONLY preacher/pastor that sheever has! This is great, if he is a good preacher, but what if he is not that great a preacher?  Is she doomed to spiritual starvation and boredom as she sits through his sermons each week?”

By asking if she is “doomed to spiritual starvation and boredom,” I am assuming this pastor’s wife is looking for permission to attend another church where she perceives she will be neither spiritually hungry nor bored. I find no biblical support for making this move.

Let’s turn the tables on this one. Let’s say you love to cook and find great joy in preparing meals for your family. Imagine now that your husband informs you that his mother’s cooking is much better than your own and, in order to satisfy his hunger with the best food, he will start eating supper at her home every night.

It’s tempting to respond with, “Let him go eat at his momma’s and see if I care.”  However, before you do, truly consider what his decision would do to you as a woman. Personally, I would be devastated to think I had really tried and my husband chose the better meatloaf at the expense of my dignity. I believe this is the same concept as leaving your husband’s church for another just to find “a better meal.”

Two phrases stuck out to me in the initial question:  spiritual starvation and boredom. I think there are ways we can avoid either without taking the drastic measure of seeking nourishment outside the family.

1.  Got to church full.
Early in Luke’s ministry, he and I served in a church that did not have the greatest of preachers.  He was an excellent pastor, but his teaching skills were lacking.  I remember clearly Luke and I concluding that God was preparing us for servant leadership by getting us used to feeding ourselves instead of expecting someone else to do it for us.  Luke has stated many times over the years that a Christian will never survive on one thirty-minute sermon per week.  The purpose of Sunday worship is to come in to God’s house overflowing with what He has revealed to us through a week’s worth of personal study and prayer.  If we come in starving, we will still leave with a growling belly.

2.  Don’t force your husband into a role he isn’t meant to fill.
As much as I love Luke and his teaching, his sermons are not the meat of my Christian walk.  I love to hear him expose a passage for my deeper understanding and discipleship but he is not God to me, nor does he seek to be.  If I seek spiritual fulfillment based on how effectively he demonstrates his calling, then yes, I will always be disappointed and perhaps even bored.  However, our joy as pastor’s wives should be found in upholding our husbands’ ministries while exercising our personal gifts.

3.  Be honest about your reasons for not following your husband.
I read several forums in preparation to write this article and it’s obvious there are many reasons pastor’s wives choose not to attend their husband’s church. The most common scenario is a woman being deeply attached to a congregation where she was a member before her husband was called to minister.  Because of her long history and love for that body, she is hesitant to depart.

To this Scripture only says one thing:  Leave and cleave.  (Genesis 2:24)  Your place is by your husband.  Period.

Another reason is the wife not believing her husband is truly ‘called’ to ministry and that he is perhaps pursuing it in vain ambition.  Also noted is that she knows that her husband is not the man he proclaims to be in the pulpit and she refuses to reinforce the lie.

These situations are tough at best. The Bible does not call us to submit to ungodliness.  Honestly, I think the answer to this question is as varied as the individual circumstance.  If marital strife, deceit, or heaven forbid, abuse, has you feeling you can’t sit in the same church body as your husband, then my advice is to seek godly Christian counseling to determine the next step.  There are many low-cost or free resources available.  The Parsonage (www.parsonage.org) is a ministry of James Dobson’s Focus on the Family and is a great resource I recommend to find support for the pastor’s family.

I believe with all my heart God’s desire for the minister includes his entire family worshipping in one body.  If you find yourself feeling empty, consider beginning a women’s Bible study group.  You may just find that the measures you take to curb your own spiritual appetite will serve to feed others as well.  That is true ministry and I promise, once embraced it will be the great thrill of your Christian life.  In fact, I’d be willing to bet you’ll forget all about your husband’s lackluster sermons when you are pouring it out into the girls God has entrusted to your care.

Even if the man behind the pulpit happens to be your husband, ultimately, God is your pastor.  I can’t think of another person more supremely qualified to lead you into righteousness than Him!

Again, thank you for your excellent questions.  Please, keep them coming to thepreacherswife1@gmail.com.  In the meantime, I would love you to visit my personal blog: The Preacher’s Wife.