One Last Goodbye

I wrote this post: I held her baby, Lord (* see bottom for post) in September of 2008. For those of you who read my blog often, you know that many times I do not write in specifics or details- often, I merely jot a prayer that stems from my soul… Today, however, If you get a sec, read the prayer of my heart, connected to that there above link… It’ll only take a minute…

You see, in September of 2008, I was called by a dear friend to go visit another friend who had just found out that her baby- the baby she had carried to full term- had died in her womb. I was called because my friend hoped that I might understand the circumstances, having had two miscarriages of my own… But I can honestly tell you- EVERY circumstance is so different… and although I had gone through a loss… nothing prepared me for what the next 72 hours would bring.

What I saw over the next 72 hours was grief indescribable and parents working through shock- broken hearts, trying to let go, saying goodbye to their beloved…

After the baby was delivered (a beautiful baby girl), I was asked to come back to visit the grief stricken mom, her husband, and to say goodbye to the baby. And it was then that I learned that few words need be uttered under such sorrowful of circumstances.
I love you, many muttered.
I’m so very sorry, said others.
Tight hugs given over and over again.

The couple asked if I would like to hold their baby. I took her in my arms. And I cried. She’s beautiful, I told them, watching as her parents proudly gazed on. I held her, rocked her, and cried some more… I watched as the mommy and daddy held their baby as well. Watched as they held each other. Watched as the beautiful mommy dressed her baby one last time for the service…

But what happened next, is something one sees only under rare circumstances… This couple, though grief stricken- also had hope… Hope in knowing that one day they would see their baby again… For 72 hours, the little girl and her parents touched everyone around them- nurses, doctors, families…

The memorial service was held in the hospital’s chapel and would you believe- the nurses that had been part of taking care of this family- all came and joined in worship… For what seemed like 20-30 minutes, the most beautiful rendition of “It is Well” was played… not a dry eye in the room- hands raised in worship- yes even the nurses were praising God… Praising a God who brings hope under such sorrowful circumstances.

I will never ever forget the beautiful baby girl who never took one breath of life here on this earth. I will never forget the parents, who through their sorrow- looked to their Father in heaven for hope and peace. I will never forget the broken hearts, the tears. I will never forget the moment when the parents were forced to say their one last goodbye. I will never forget the months later when the mommy clung dearly to the HEM OF HIS CLOAK…

Today, I realize that God was preparing me for a new set of circumstances- acquaintances who have lost their 3 month old baby girl… parents, who for reasons yet unknown- have chosen to share with me their story of loss and heartbreak… I am asking God to give me wisdom and to show me how best to share Christ’s love with them during the most painful moment of their lives. Sometimes, I’ve learned, no words need be uttered… sometimes- what’s needed most are prayers, strong hugs, and the love of our Christ that lives within our soul.
Lord teach us- teach me- to be more like you- to love the way you loved… and teach me how to share your love with the broken hearted.

Post: September 6, 2008
I Held Her Baby, Lord

Lord, take away her pain,
as she tries her best to let go
so many tears this eve
yet so much peace
and your abounding love
friends gathered
songs of praise
a peace that comes only in knowing
that her babe rests in your arms