This year, instead of making New Year’s Resolutions, I decided to write my “Mom-i-Festo.” This is the ideal, and I won’t always reach these goals (but NOT having goals means I won’t reach them for sure!). But the following points explain who I’d like to become as a child of God, wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend.
- I will no longer compare myself to other moms. I have talents, quirks, and special qualities all my own, and I will start to own and (YES!) even celebrate them, beginning today. I will see my weaknesses as God’s opportunity to be my strength.
- On the days when it gets so hard that I want to run out the door screaming and never come back, I will breathe. Slowly. And lock myself in the bathroom until I can gain control.
- I will remember that I’m a good mom. After all, a bad mom doesn’t question whether or not she’s a good mom.
- I will not gossip about other moms. Every mother has her own set of challenges, most of which I know nothing about. I will not demean or demoralize my fellow moms by talking about them behind their backs. And if someone else is gossiping, I will ask them to change the subject.
- I will no longer say “yes” to everything that’s asked of me. I will be thoughtful, prayerful, and deliberate in making decisions. That way, my family won’t suffer when I say “yes” too easily.
- I will no longer do everything for my kids. I want to raise them to be responsible, mature adults who can contribute to the world in amazing ways. This won’t happen if they can’t shop, cook, clean, and take care of themselves.
- I will no longer put my husband on the end of the “to-do” list. I realize that the health of our relationship makes a huge difference in our kids’ well-being, so I choose to make time regularly for intimacy (of all kinds). Date nights, here we come!
- I will ask for help when I need it, seek out other moms for mentoring, friendship and support, and make maintaining my friendships a priority (AND I will ask God to help me choose friends who understand when I’m swamped and can’t be there for them).
- I will take care of myself by exercising and eating right, so that I can be a good steward of the body God’s given me (this one is tough for me, but I’ve seen the results of not taking care of myself and it ain’t pretty!)
- I will make time to be still, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day. During that time, I will listen to God, meditate on His truths, and pray. And when I can, I will take longer stretches of time for Bible study. It’s my lifeline, and the only real source of peace and wisdom in this mixed-up world!
- I will lighten up. I will laugh, and play, and enjoy my kids. I only get them for a short time (although the days are long, the years go by fast!), and they are a blessing, not a burden.
- I will believe that God delights in me, loves me, and accepts me–just as I am. He is with me as I navigate the uncertainties of motherhood, and He will make up for my mistakes. I will lean on Him during the dark days, and serve Him, through serving my family, with a grateful heart.
See if you can adapt this “Mom-i-festo” to your own mothering journey. Who knows, maybe we can start a mothering revolution!
©2009, Dena Dyer