Hi Candace, I’m a 29-year-old wife, and mother of three beautiful children. I have been raised in church all my life. We never missed a service. Every time the doors were open my family was present. Not only did we stay in church, but the life my parents and grandparents live are Christ-like, they have set the very BEST example anyone could for me, and still yet I struggle. I don’t understand it.
I have the desire so much to follow Christ with all my heart and to seek what it is that He has for me. I want to be an example for my children to follow as they grow up. I know that kids are more likely to do, as they see done, and not as they’re told. I feel as though I’ve lost my fire. I want to love the Lord with all my heart, and with all my soul and with all my mind. I just feel lost sometimes.
I feel as if I don’t recognize myself anymore from the young girl I once was. When I was in Bible College I was on fire. I read my Bible every day, and I had the desire to sit down and sup with the Lord. I feel I’ve lost that fire, or I feel as a mom that I just can’t find the alone time with Him. It’s so hard for me to let others take care of my kids and help me with things so I can fellowship with the Lord.
We’re new to the church that we are attending now, and my husband and I don’t agree 100% on the style of church we should attend. I want so badly for us both to be involved in church, but he doesn’t see it exactly the way I do. Please can you give me any advice on my rambling? 🙂
I’m just a normal everyday country girl, and so I’m not really good at writing a story, but I know where I need help and I saw your website and thought I’d ask you. You and your brother are an inspiration to me. I grew up with watching you on T.V. and it’s so exciting that now we can share the same faith. Thank you for your advice in advance.
Thanks so much for your email. I too have times in my life where my walk with the Lord is on fire only to have the heat turned down for a few months. I wonder why this happens myself. But rest assured, it happens to most of us. I don’t ever lose my love for the Lord, but my zeal…yes. I get caught up with Val, the kids, summer plans, school, traveling, speaking–all the things that are important, but only to take my attention off God for a while. And I hate when I allow everything else to take priority over my time with God.
It’s like Paul said in Romans 7:15 “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.” (I encourage you to read Romans 7:13-25).
I too have not spent the time I wanted to and should have this summer with the Lord. And I’ve felt my flame get dim. My dear friend lovingly tells us in our Bible study group every so often to keep our eyes fixed on the Lord so we don’t get off track. She relates it to swimming in the ocean. If you ever have, you’ll know that the current will continually push you left or right. You have to keep your eyes focused on your spot at shore (where your towel is- or in our kids case–mom and dad) or else you’ll lose site of where you are as the current sweeps you away. It’s never intentional, but nevertheless, it happens.
We need to do that with God. Keep our eyes fixed on Him, because with our every day activities we get swept up in our tasks and lose site of our place with Him. Getting that flame lit? Well, if you’re anything like me, I start praying about it every day when I realize I’m slipping. And when I get to the point I don’t think I’ll get revved up again, the Lord tugs at my heart. He often takes me to a place of emptiness for me to know that only He can fill me up. And there’s nothing like a good gut wrenching sermon to give me a humbling kick in the butt to remember what Christ did for me.
Most importantly, you HAVE to schedule time with the Lord. If it means waking up a half hour early before you get the kids up, then that’s what you do. I know I have to hit my knees as soon as I roll out of bed each morning or my day just won’t be right. I don’t always read the Word first thing, but I make sure I put aside time every day for it. There’s no way around it. If your kids are napping or entertaining themselves for a few minutes, you have to take that opportunity to read God’s Word or pray. The laundry will still be there in 15 minutes; it’s not going to run away. 🙂
Also, I think summer time is hardest for me because that’s when my Bible study group takes a break. All of us travel, so we resume when school starts. I realize how important my small group is, meeting each week at my home. They help keep me accountable and focused.
So I would encourage you to find a small group Bible study through your church, or if you know 4 or 5 women that would be interested in meeting at one of your homes each week. Fellowship and study with other believers is something I believe God intended for us to do.
Church styles? Try to find a church you’re both happy with. I’ll tell you to lean towards your husband’s style if it doesn’t kill you. Better to go to church together with a style you’re not as impressed with than not go at all. But I cautiously warn you to make sure it’s a solid Bible teaching church. If it doesn’t hold true to the Bible, then I would continue looking for a church. You can find an article on how to find a good church on my website.
I hope this helps and is an encouragement to you. 🙂