The Gift of Life

“No gift to your mother can ever equal
her gift to you – life.”

A woman has the most mysterious and wonderful power in the whole world – choosing to give birth to a child.  Most of the time, the child is born into a family unit.  But there are times when a woman has a very difficult and painful decision to make – is she able to give the child whom she is carrying a life where all of his or her needs are met?   A lot of times, this gut-wrenching decision Is made alone by this woman, and she must feel the weight of the world on her shoulders as she goes through this decision-making process. What is best for the baby? Can I give to the baby what it needs/deserves/wants in this life?  Am I emotionally and psychologically and financially able to provide for my child?  Am I mature enough to be a mother?  Will the baby be better off with me or with parents who can provide what I cannot?  Regardless of the decision this woman makes about keeping her child or giving the gift of her child to a couple to raise, she has still given her child the most precious gift of all – LIFE!

This tiny life is so helpless when it is first born.  And when the birth mother makes the ultimate and selfless sacrifice of placing the child up for adoption, she is giving that tiny life a chance to have a life which she is not able to give to him or her.  There will be tears of anguish, moments of despair, a deep hole in the heart which will never be filled over the course of her lifetime.  There will be the constant questions – I wonder what he’s doing now?  Does she ever even think about me? Will we ever meet face-to-face?  What have the birth parents told him about me?  Does she hate me?  Does he love me?  What does she look like?  Does he have the same kind of personality that I have?

As the adoptive mom, all that I can say on this Mother’s Day to my girls’ birth moms is – yes, she loves you!  And yes, I’m certain she looks like you.  We talk about you a lot, wondering what you are doing now, where you are living, if you’re married and if you have other children, if you want to meet her,  and what it would be like to meet for the first time.  We’ve always kept you in our prayers.  We’ve always thanked the Lord for your precious gift of life – not only by giving birth, but also by giving her a home where she has been loved and nurtured and treasured.

So, from the bottom of our hearts, thank you. As it says in Proverbs, 23:25, “Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.”  My husband and I are glad that we have two beautiful girls, and we want the birth mothers to rejoice this Mother’s Day in the knowledge that their girls are beautiful, well-loved, healthy, and will someday want to share their love with you.

You have carried the love for your child in your heart all of these years.  Please know that my girls have carried love for you in their hearts, as well.  You have been a loving presence in their lives, giving them the model of a powerful sacrifice and an unselfish kind of love. We wish you a very special Mother’s Day.  God bless you and keep you safe in His graces.

“The love of a mother is the veil of a softer light between the heart and the Heavenly Father.”
Samuel Taylor Coleridge

©2009, Valerie Wolff

4 comments for “The Gift of Life

  1. May 7, 2009 at 10:39 PM

    As a follow up to this article, my eldest daughter found her birth mom on May 6, 2009! They are enjoying their time getting to know each other after being apart for so long. It is my hopep that someday I, too, will be able to meet Sara’s birthmom, and welcome her into OUR family, just as she is welcoming Sara into her family. God bless you and yours, Penny.

  2. May 8, 2009 at 8:55 AM

    Valerie,

    As both an adoption facilitator and an adoptive mom of 4, it was a joy to read your inspiring note. I encourage truth, openness, love and most of all appreciation. I wouldn’t be enjoying this Mother’s Day if it hadn’t been for the decisions and choices that three other woman had made. And our child know this too.

    Happy Mothers Day

    Lisa Sweet

  3. June 14, 2009 at 10:32 PM

    “No gift to your mother can ever equal
    her gift to you – life.” I love that. I lost my Mom 4 years ago, and I know that the gift of life she gave me was so amazing! CArol

  4. June 25, 2009 at 4:47 AM

    Valerie, I have become speechless. I am so glad that this world has people like you. Your article is so well written that I had goose bumps and tears rolling.

    I wish you and your family, remain in God’s loving care always.

    Maybe someday I will read an article about how your daughter reacted and felt, when she started meeting her birth mom.

    You are the best parents.

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