Daughter Who is Not Saved

Hi Candace! I just wanted to ask you for suggestions. I have a 13-year-old daughter that I think refuses to get saved. The rest of our family–being a 16-year-old sister, a 14-year-old sister, a 12-year-old brother, mom and myself–all profess CHRIST as our savior. We all go to church and all the kids are active in youth group.

My oldest daughter and my wife try to talk to my 13-year-old about being saved, and she won’t say anything. Youth leaders and other teens in the youth group witness to her, but she still won’t say anything and she won’t even talk to me about this issue. My oldest daughter has your brother’s movie, “Left Behind,” and the 13-year-old will not watch it. Even though we’ve tried to get her to watch it several times, she goes into the other room.

She loved watching you in “Full House,” along with the other girls. Do you have any suggestions? I am hoping that hearing from a role model such as you, might show her the need of being saved. If you have time to write her a letter that would be awesome or if you could send an e-mail of encouragement that would be great also. I am looking forward from hearing from you.


Thanks for your question.

I know in raising my children, the very core of my efforts is to see them come to Christ. I’m sure it’s difficult to see one of your children unwilling to have a relationship with Him. It’s wonderful that your other children already love the Lord, but don’t lose hope.

The first thing I want to encourage you and your wife to do is not to pressure your daughter. While it’s our responsibility to show them Christ, it’s not our duty to get them to make the commitment. That must be the work of the Holy Spirit in them. I’m sure the pressure from mom and dad, and brother and sister may be causing her take a few steps back.

I think it’s actually a good thing at this point that she doesn’t give into the pressure. Don’t get me wrong; I want to see her soul saved as much as you do. But God says in Rev 3:15-16 “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot I will vomit you out of My mouth.” Better that she’s cold now and doesn’t make a decision for Christ just to get her family off her back, only to go running in the opposite direction once she’s 18; or worse, becoming a lukewarm Christian for the rest of her life. The best thing you can do is to continue to pray for her salvation daily, and live a life pleasing to God, being an example. Continue going to church and make her go as she’s 13 years old and is still under your authority. Let her know that the door is always open and you’ll be there to talk with her about God when she’s ready. Love on her; don’t be frustrated with her. I know your love and commitment to her as a father and from her mother will go farther than any pressured words.

Also, if she is a Full House fan, you can purchase my testimony CD at www.livingwaters.com or DVD at www.worldviewweekend.com. You could give this to her as something to think about, but again, let the Holy Spirit work in her. Don’t ask her 20 questions after she’s listened to it. It’s all in God’s timing, not ours.

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