What we do today makes a difference tomorrow even if we cannot see the entire picture.  Ruth could not see that she would play a vital role in the lineage of the Messiah ~ Ruth, a heathen, in the line of Christ.  Amazing grace.

All the people who were in the court, and the elders, said, “We are witnesses.  May the LORD make the woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah, both of whom built the house of Israel; and may you achieve wealth in Ephrathah and become famous in Bethlehem.  Moreover, may your house be like the house of Perez whom Tamar bore to Judah, through the offspring which the LORD will give you by this young woman.” Ruth 4: 11-12 NASB

One of the most contentious relationships in the Bible is Rachel and Leah; two sisters fighting for the affection of the husband they are forced to share.  Rachel has love on her side, for Jacob loved her.  Jacob however, did not love Leah and she fought for his attention through bearing children.  Through all the contention, the bitterness, jealousy and hate, these two sisters built up the house of Israel.  Abundant grace.  Rachel and Leah birthed the twelve tribes of Israel (with the help of their maids) and established the house of Israel.  Leah gave birth to Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulun and one daughter, Dinah.  Rachel’s maid Bilhah bore Dan and Naphtali.  Zilpha, Leah’s maid gave birth to Gad and Asher.  Rachel’s shame of a barren womb is dissolved with the birth of Joseph and Benjamin.

This account in Genesis 28 is the epitome of dysfunction junction, but it serves as an example of the mysterious, forbearing grace of God.  Through the midst of all this, God still moved and worked His will.  The tribe of Judah, through which the Messiah would come, was birthed in all that contention and mess.  It is not a license to sin, but displays God’s ability to use our pain to draw us to Him in our brokenness.  When we are in our miry pit, and it feels like we have nothing God can use, we can be sure He is working behind the scene; washing us and setting us upon His path.  Rachel and Leah are held in high esteem; their names invoke blessing.

Tamar’s name conveys blessing as well; her story is nothing short of traumatic.  Tamar is Judah’s daughter-in-law.  The Word says Tamar’s husband Er was evil in God’s sight and took his life.  Each of Judah’s sons married her; however, each refused to allow her to conceive and all died.  The Bible is silent as to the motive of these men, but it was an act of dishonor.  Women that could not have children were considered cursed; their actions brought her much shame ~ a shame she did not deserve.

Judah instructs Tamar to return to her father’s house until his youngest son is grown to marry.  Judah’s wife dies and when his mourning is complete he leaves for the sheep shearing festival, Tamar hears news of it.  The Word describes her actions explicitly.  Taking off her widows’ clothes, she disguises herself as a prostitute.  Tamar waits for Judah and disguised, tempts him to sleep with her; he succumbs.  She negotiates her price, a goat from his flock.  Tamar secures a pledge, his ring, seal, and cord.  Judah returns with the goat, but cannot find her.  He has lost his entire identity in his pledge to the prostitute.

A little later Judah receives word that his daughter-in-law is pregnant.  His form of justice?  That she be brought out to be burned!  He and his sons imprisoned her to a life of scorn, and though her actions were wrong, arguably the shame in which they subjected Tamar to is unbearable.  She produces his signet, seal and cord and is vindicated.

Tamar gave birth to twins; her shame washed away- double portion size.  Perez and Zerah struggle, fighting each other for the position of firstborn.  Perez hails the victory – his name meaning breach.  Breach has a negative connotation, yet Perez is the first name listed in the Generation of David.  There is no defense for a woman pretending to be a prostitute to seduce her father-in-law to get pregnant.  God did not approve her actions, yet He saved from extinction the tribe of Judah through which the Messiah would enter this world.  Awesome grace.

So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife, and he went in to her.  And the LORD enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son. Ruth 4:13 NASB

The Lord had a plan for Ruth from the very beginning.  She came from Moab to Bethlehem a poor widow; a foreigner gleaning in the field of Boaz.  When she arrived as a beggar, she never imagined she would be the wife of the owner of the field.  God’s grace is unfathomable to us ~ how He can take what we perceive as a small, insignificant life, and use it for His glory?  Boaz rightly encouraged Ruth with the truth that the Lord greatly rewarded her for seeking refuge under the wings of the Almighty.  Though she suffered great loss, she pressed through to what God had for her; ultimately becoming the great grandmother of King David and included in the lineage of Jesus.

God desires to lavish His love on us, even when we are getting it all wrong, attempting to work circumstances out ourselves, and mess everything beyond our repair as  Rachel, Leah, and Tamar.  He takes us from the place where all is lost to a place of hope.  He rescues us in the midst of heartbreak, disappointments, shattered expectations and broken dreams, as  Ruth and Naomi, to a place of joy and peace ~ exchanging our sorrow for His joy.

“When I passed by you and saw you squirming in your blood, I said to you while you were in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you while you were in your blood, ‘Live!” Ezekiel 16:6 NASB

To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He might be glorified. Isaiah 61:3 KJV

The harvest season is a time of joy and celebration.  Boaz, Ruth and Naomi celebrate new life.  Follow hard after God, He will reward you.

The neighbor women gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi!” So they named him Obed. He is the father of Jesse, the father of David. Now these are the generations of Perez: to Perez was born Hezron, and to Hezron was born Ram, and to Ram, Amminadab, and to Amminadab was born Nahshon, and to Nahshon, Salmon, and to Salmon was born Boaz, and to Boaz, Obed, and to Obed was born Jesse, and to Jesse, David. Ruth 4: 17-22 NASB

What has God in store for you?  What legacy will you leave?

Waiting… how impatient we grow while waiting; we spoke about this last time.  However, while we are wringing our hands and fretting, God is working behind the scenes; He will not leave a matter unsettled for His children.

Now Boaz went up to the gate and sat down there, and behold, the close relative of whom Boaz spoke was passing by, so he said, “Turn aside, friend, sit down here.” And he turned aside and sat down.  He took ten men of the elders of the city and said, “Sit down here.”  So they sat down.  Then he said to the closest relative, “Naomi, who has come back from the land of Moab, has to sell the piece of land which belonged to our brother Elimelech.  So I thought to inform you, saying, ‘Buy it before those who are sitting here, and before the elders of my people  ~ If you will redeem it, redeem it; but if not, tell me that I may know; for there is no one but you to redeem it, and I am after you.’” And he said, “I will redeem it.” Then Boaz said, “On the day you buy the field from the hand of Naomi, you must also acquire Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of the deceased, in order to raise up the name of the deceased on his inheritance.”  The closest relative said, “I cannot redeem it for myself, because I would jeopardize my own inheritance.  Redeem it for yourself; you may have my right of redemption, for I cannot redeem it.”  Ruth 4: 1-6 NASB

The redeemer will redeem the property most readily.  Why not?  It is a great piece of land and will add to his wealth.  He is ready to redeem and Boaz throws him curve ball.  He also would have to marry Ruth.  She is foreigner and he is not ready to jeopardize his children or his inheritance.  His actions represent the Law.  Under the Law is atonement, which covers sin, but could not redeem.

I would like to suggest another parallel:  Adam and Christ.  Adam, the first man was not able to redeem. Christ the second Adam is able to redeem.

The first man is from the earth, earthy; the second man is from heaven. 1 Corinthians 15:47 NASB

The first man could not redeem us.  Adam was in the perfect state with God before the fall.  His life and walk with God is the original plan; the inheritance we all were to possess. However, Adam sinned and had not the power to redeem or reconcile man back to God.

Grace covers all and reconciles us to God.  Christ is full of mercy and compassion; He wants to redeem us.  His heart breaks for every person; His heart longs for none to perish.  He is willing to redeem anyone who will accept and trust in Him.  Boaz was willing to redeem, as soon as Ruth came to him, he would not rest until she was redeemed and cared for.  The Lord is waiting for you to make the first move.

He is waiting; He will move heaven and earth.  He did move heaven and earth over two thousand years ago.  He is waiting for us to come to Him. Redemption does not just apply to our salvation, it applies to any area we are need.  Perhaps you need to have a stronghold broken; maybe you need a breakthrough for a certain situation.  As soon as we approach God at the threshing floor and ask Him for His covering over our lives, our situations, when we submit ourselves to God and acknowledge Him as our source, we can rest assured He will do it.

Then Boaz said to the elders and all the people, “You are witnesses today that I have bought from the hand of Naomi all that belonged to Elimelech and all that belonged to Chilion and Mahlon.”Moreover, I have acquired Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, to be my wife in order to raise up the name of the deceased on his inheritance, so that the name of the deceased will not be cut off from his brothers or from the court of his birth place; you are witnesses today.” Ruth 4: 9-10 NASB

Not only did Boaz redeem Ruth, he purchased (redeemed) everything that belongs to Naomi, and her husband and two sons.  He did not care the first- born would be raised up for his brother, it did not even matter to him.  He redeemed her.  Boaz was not only receiving Ruth as his wife, Boaz had a heart for God’s Law and was willing to risk his inheritance to redeem Ruth.

The Lord reminds:

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!  For you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.  Matthew 23:23 NASB

Jesus is admonishing that while they are concerned with certain aspects of the Law, they ignore the principle of the Law; justice, mercy, and faith.  In all actuality, the unnamed redeemer who refused to redeem should have.  He should have extended mercy, justice, and faith to Ruth and Naomi; the Law did not empower him to have mercy.  Boaz is a type of Christ.  Grace empowers Boaz to have mercy and a heart willing to redeem.  He is richly blessed for redeeming her.

All the people who were in the court, and the elders, said, “We are witnesses. May the LORD make the woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah, both of whom built the house of Israel; and may you achieve wealth in Ephrathah and become famous in Bethlehem.  Moreover, may your house be like the house of Perez whom Tamar bore to Judah, through the offspring which the LORD will give you by this young woman.” Ruth 4:11-12 NASB

I am going to discuss the lineage next time to finish our discussion on Ruth, but the blessing Boaz received was one of honor.  The first-born would be raised up to Mahlon, and in return, he receives blessings to build his own house.  God owes no man; He will repay our justice, mercy and faithfulness with the like.

By Piper Green      Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 (NASB)

Let us draw near… let us draw near… God’s grace was poured out in the blood of Christ, now we may boldly ask what we need.  Ruth serves as our example to approach with the right spirit and a heart of integrity.  Approaching God with pure motives, beckons His attention every time.

So she went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law had commanded her.  When Boaz had eaten and drunk and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain; and she came secretly, and uncovered his feet and lay down.   It happened in the middle of the night that the man was startled and bent forward; and behold, a woman was lying at his feet.  He said, “Who are you?”  And she answered, “I am Ruth, your maid.  So spread your covering over your maid, for you are a close relative.”  Then he said, “May you be blessed of the LORD, my daughter.  You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich.

“Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence. Now it is true I am a close relative; however, there is a relative closer than I.  Remain this night, and when morning comes, if he will redeem you, good; let him redeem you.  But if he does not wish to redeem you, then I will redeem you, as the LORD lives.  Lie down until morning.”  So she lay at his feet until morning and rose before one could recognize another; and he said, “Let it not be known that the woman came to the threshing floor.”

Ruth uncovered his feet and lay on the ground at his feet.  I can only imagine what must have been going through her mind; what if Naomi had totally lost her head and gave Ruth a plan that would blow up in her face?  What would she do?  Often times in your journey with the Lord, He will ask you to do things that do not make any sense.  However, obedience reaps many rewards. Boaz was startled in the middle of the night and realized someone at his feet; Ruth came seeking his covering, she is seeking redemption.  She is not just asking for marriage, she is seeking redemption.  When we approach God on the threshing floor, He desires for us to receive His redemption, but He is wants our whole being; He offers His face then and all He has is available.

Boaz understands Ruth’s appeal as a widow.  She does not try to get him to fall in love with her or seduce him, she relies on the Law:  that he is honorable and will do the right thing.  I also believe he is revealing why he did not initiate the relationship.   Boaz knew he was not first in line as a redeemer and that he is too old for her.  Historically he may have been close to thirty years older than Ruth; however, he honors her for not seeking a man for his age or affluence.

Ruth’s prudence serves as an example for women today; do not settle for spiritually immature men.  Pray and fast concerning your future husband. Seek men who make wise decisions and are secure.  If a man cannot submit to God, you are in trouble.  Boaz encourages her with the fact that she is accepted because she is a woman of excellence.  Her service and love to her mother-in-law is above reproach and few would have done the same.  She is a rare jewel.  Boaz does not want to bring shame to her and he assures her he will do what she has asked of him.  When we wash ourselves and approach the threshing-floor and seek God to intervene on our behalf, we may walk away with the assurance that He will do all that we ask of Him. Why? He loves us and longs to redeem.

Boaz covers her by instructing her to stay the night.  He protects her from dangers lurking in the dark and from any appearance of wrongdoing.  In the morning he will determine if the goel (redeemer) will redeem her.  She leaves with his promise that he will take care of the matter.  She does not have to worry about it.  She does not have to question whether he will remember her or remember to take care of it.   Boaz must exhibit three main characteristics to redeem Ruth: first, he must have the right of redemption, which at this point he does not have; second, he must have the power to redeem, which he has the wealth to redeem her; finally, he must have the will to redeem her.  He has the will ~ he has promised to do it if the next of kin will not.

Our heavenly Goel Jesus Christ has all three qualifications.  He has the right, the power, and the will.  It was His Passion to redeem all mankind.  God has given Him all rights and all power to redeem us.  We have the assurance He is working on our behalf for whatever we have brought before Him at the throne of grace and He will not rest until the matter is taken care of.  He promises that He is watching over His word to perform it and that it will not return to Him void.

For I the LORD will speak, and whatever word I speak will be performed.  It will no longer be delayed, for in your days, O rebellious house, I will speak the word and perform it,” declares the Lord GOD. Ezekiel 12:25 NASB

Then the LORD said to me, “You have seen well, for I am watching over My word to perform it.” Jeremiah 1:12 NASB

We must trust God and know He is working for us and will do as He has promised.  He is not slack in remembering His promises and He will not disappoint.

About Piper
Piper is a writer and earned a B.A. in Government from Regent University; she writes passionately about her Redeemer whom she loves with all her heart. Piper has two blogs, Piper’s Pen which earned a peer award-The Sunshine Award, where she expounds on the Word of God and The Christian Observer where she examines the importance of the influence of faith in politics. Piper is a wife of eighteen years and a mother, raising three children in Centennial, CO., resting in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains.

by iampiper

To recap Ruth’s journey to this point:  Ruth has found salvation, favor, provision, safety, and fellowship by seeking refuge in the arms of the Almighty.  Is not this a reflection of our lives?  We have favor on us because we belong to Him; God reveals Himself, provides for and protects us and gives us a new life found in the shadow of His wings.

Naomi informs Ruth that Boaz is a close relative.  As Ruth begins to enlighten Naomi to the kindness she received from Boaz,  and all that he had done for her, I believe Naomi is starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together, she is glimpsing into the future of Ruth and Boaz – a possible union.  Naomi again admonishes Ruth that if Boaz commanded her to stay with his maids until the harvest is over, she should follow his instruction.  Boaz implores Ruth to stay in his field, he wants to be her only provider.  God is our only provider, and when we leave the shelter of His wings, we put ourselves in harm’s way.

Then Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, “My daughter, shall I not seek security for you, that it may be well with you?” Ruth 3:1

In the King James it reads : “shall I not seek rest for you?” The word used for rest we see here in this verse is different than the rest we saw in Ruth 1.  The meaning of the word rest here means a settled spot or a final destination. Naomi loves Ruth and wants to see her find rest in the house of a husband, a good husband to provide for her and take care of her.  Lets look at this a little in the natural.  The harvest season lasted seven weeks.  Ruth and Boaz had seen each other and I believe an attraction had grown between them.  But why didn’t Boaz do anything to initiate a relationship with her?

I believe because he knew the law.  He knew as we will see later that he was not the next of kin – there was one closer than he so he kept his distance.  I believe Naomi felt the sadness of Ruth.  Ruth probably felt that she was an alien and stranger and that there is no way a man like Boaz would ever notice her, or that he would want to marry her.  It probably never entered her mind that it could happen.  Though I would bet she dreamt about it.  Never figuring for one moment it would really come to pass.  Ruth was young and needed to have a husband again.  So that she may live life to the full and have the abundant life Jesus came to give us.  She needed to bear fruit.  Jesus expects us to bear fruit.  Ruth longs for this and I believe, as any mother would do, Naomi tries to intervene on Ruth’s behalf.  Naomi instructs Ruth what she must do.  Again reminding her that Boaz is close relative.  Ruth and Naomi have relied on the Law the Lord gave concerning the poor and alien to glean in the field to be taken care of.  Now Naomi calls again on the name of the Lord concerning the kinsmen redeemer.  (See Deuteronomy 25: 5-10).

“Now is not Boaz our kinsman, with whose maids you were?  Behold, he winnows barley at the threshing floor tonight.  Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking.  It shall be when he lies down, that you shall notice the place where he lies, and you shall go and uncover his feet and lie down; then he will tell you what you shall do.”  She said to her, ” All that you say I will do.” Ruth 3:2-5

Now Ruth is not going to try to seduce Boaz into being her husband.  She is washing herself and putting on her best clothes and anointing herself to go to the threshing floor.  She is not using the way of the world to try to get what she wants.  She is anointing herself not painting herself as would a harlot, she is going humbly, clean, and anointed, again in obedience to her mother-in-law.  It is the attitude or the heart of how she comes to him.  There are a couple accounts in the Bible where women came like this to ask for mercy when they really needed to have intervention in a situation.

One is Abigail. (1Samuel 25) Her husband was a very bad man.  As a matter of fact the Word called him churlish and evil.  David sent his men out to him and asked him of a few sheep to feed his men and Nabal rejected the request and insulted David and his men.  So David decided he needed to kill this man and he and his army went out to do just that.  Abigail heard of what was happening and she acted fast.  Abigail prepares a feast for David and his men, they are coming to kill her husband.  She sees him and gets off her donkey and bows down to her face on the ground before David.  She takes responsibility for what her husband has done, (repentance) and asks for him not to give her husband what he deserves and brings a great feast for David and his men.  She did not go out to him empty handed and with the wrong attitude.  She did not have the same attitude as her husband.  She asked for mercy and it was given to her.  David left with his feast and his men.  The Word says Abigail was very beautiful and of good understanding.  She was wise and beautiful.  She did not go out and try to seduce David.  Though it probably would have worked!  David had quite a weakness for women.  But she went out with the right heart and a humble spirit.

The other account is Esther.  She needed mercy in a big way.  She had to go before the king.  What did she do? She fasted – (washed and anointed) herself and when it was time to go before the king she put on her royal garments (best garments) and took the chance and went before the king uninvited, which could bring death.  She did not just go strolling in there thinking, “I am the queen! The king better give me audience! Who does he think he is by not inviting me! ”.   No.  She went in humbly, knowing at anytime the king could say the word, and she would be dead.  Again, she didn’t try to seduce him or manipulate him.  She went with the right heart.

Ruth in this account does the same thing.  She could have tried to seduce him.  He was full, and had been drinking.  He had just hosted a harvesting party.  It would have been easy for all three of these women to use their beauty to try to manipulate the men into giving them what they needed.  But this is what the Word of God says:

“…beholding your chaste behavior coupled with fear.  Whose adorning let it not be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible apparel of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.  For after this manner aforetime the holy women also, who hoped in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose children ye now are, if ye do well, and are not put in fear by any terror.” 1 Peter 3:2 – 6 (ASV)

This does not mean we should not wear jewelry or make-up or nice clothing. Ladies, please wear make-up, there is nothing wrong with it.   Obviously we read the Lord wants us to put on our best clothes.  But it is to show Him honor.  These women showed the men they were going before honor by looking their best.  Really, in all three instances, the women were going before kings.  Boaz was a king in the eyes of Ruth.  She had never known a man of his stature and wealth.  And to think she may become his wife, to her that is very humbling.  She went with that attitude.  Ruth went with the right spirit, knowing she didn’t deserve in and of herself to be there.  This is what all three of these women did.   When we need to go before God, this is how we must come.  We wash ourselves in the Word of God and put on our best clothing, and we lay everything at His feet.  We need to come humbly with a quiet spirit, but at the same time we need to come with boldness to ask for what we need.

About Piper:

Piper is a writer and earned her B.A. in Government from Regent University; she writes passionately on politics and religion.  Piper has two blogs, Piper’s Pen which earned a peer award-The Sunshine Award, where she expounds on Biblical topics and The Christian Observer where she examines the importance of the influence of faith in politics.  Piper is a wife and mother, raising three children in Centennial, CO.

You have likely heard those words of Jesus’ that can be found in a couple places in the Gospel, as in Matthew 7:3-5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Sisters, why do we as women look down so smugly, so disgustingly, on men who struggle with the sin of pornography? Why do we have even an ounce of self-righteousness, when there is such an insidious sin that is no less damaging, invading the lives and hearts of countless women both in and out of the church? Yet this is rarely touched on. It is possible that men don’t understand the depth to which this stronghold in women’s lives is damaging their marriages, and so they leave it alone. Instead, often they are guilted into believing that they are solely responsible for the breakdown in a marriage because of their wandering eyes. But have you ever stopped to consider the damage of a wandering heart and mind?

Sure, the pornography industry is booming these days, and it is nothing less than gross. But ladies, just as popular with females has been the fantasy industry. Like porn, with its pictures, videos, websites, etc., fantasy comes in various forms too; romance novels being a huge outlet, plus movies, TV shows, talk shows, and reality shows. Oh yes, and then there are the magazines that perpetuate the more popular fictional and celebrity romances. They create buzzes about other possibilities for our love lives through their quizzes and fake sex questions. This “entertainment” is effortlessly able to drag the mind down winding roads of “what ifs,” luring women down fruitless paths by imagining ways of cornering or trapping the man of their dreams—even if she or that man are already married.

You may say, “Wait a minute! Those things are harmless; they aren’t filled with filthy pictures and lewd scenes!” Oh no? Just because there aren’t photos or videos of the actual acts, doesn’t make them any less graphic.

Think about it for a minute. The male brain is wired for visual stimulation; hence the cat calls and whistles when a lovely gal walks by a group of interested men. Or consider the tractor beam eyes that can instantly find fabulous cleavage in a sea of bystanders. The male brain is, at least initially, moved by what it SEES.

The female brain, as we know, is different. Sure we like the look of a handsome fella, but of far greater importance is how he fits into our preconceived notion of the perfect Prince Charming: his thoughts, his actions, his ability to protect and fight for his woman, his gentleness and tender heart (that only she gets to experience) his willingness to follow her and find her and to be with her at any cost. This is what gets at the heart of a woman, and that is why we don’t need a physical picture. This becomes pretty evident when one of these characters is cast in a movie. Seriously, he doesn’t have to be THAT attractive. Heck, the character doesn’t even have to be HUMAN! He will be nice looking because he is a product of Hollywood, but he doesn’t have to be a woman’s physical picture of perfect. She will still adore him because she loves the way his mind works.

The male mind is wired so that it can reach optimal excitement with just a peek at something sexual. We on the other hand are a little more complicated. More often than not, women want and even need to be wooed and romanced in order to truly let go and enjoy sexual intimacy. We often need to experience relationship, emotional intimacy and trust, to totally let our hair down.

So the story builds… It begins with a description of the heroine, and then a description of the hero. Followed by a walk down the story line, to find the details of how these two incredible people miraculously found their perfect soul mate, out of the millions of possibilities in this great big world. Now, sneak down the trail of their budding relationship, and see the odds they prevail against to make their perfect love work. Eyes breathlessly zip across line after line, as hearts pound and minds imagine and enter into another couple’s most intimate moments. This, dear Sister, is porn of the heart. Anytime we sneak into the intimacy of another relationship in our minds, whether real or imagined, we are voyeurs. Our minds are imaginative and creative; we don’t need a picture to reach the same result. We need a story, and it culminates in the same sin as the man looking at dirty magazines: Lust.

You may be thinking, “Well, this doesn’t apply to me, I just skip over the explicit parts.” Come on Sister, don’t allow your heart to be deceived! That statement is akin to that ridiculous male comeback that he only “reads Playboy for the articles.” The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” When we allow ourselves to linger in the world of someone else’s relationship and imagine their emotional or sexual intimacy, we are lusting. Jesus says in Matthew 5:27-28, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This goes both ways, girls. When we think of being with someone else intimately, or even imagine ourselves in another woman’s life and love (whether emotionally or physically) we are committing adultery.

Next: “Porn Dust In His Eye, Fantasy Plank in Hers (Part II)

Biblical references taken from the New International Version

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid on the topic of submission when a reader asks, “I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be a godly wife?” 

I have noticed that a subject you speak on most often is that of being a godly wife.  I would love to see you in person, but until you come to Kalamazoo, MI I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be a godly wife?  I was SO encouraged to hear that your husband was not saved when you were first married. My husband is saved, but his relationship with Christ has weakened recently. His father (who was his best friend) recently passed away and he has been growing distant from me, but especially from God. 

I believe this is the time he needs to rely on God most and am hoping you could give me some ideas/tips for how I can encourage him to reconnect with our Heavenly Father.

Thank you for your message and any help you can give!

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The understanding that marriage is an equal partnership where husband and wife are equally important, but aren’t designed to share the same role, is  the foundation to being a godly wife, and encouraging our husbands in faith.

The Bible says, “For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman: but the woman for the man” (1Corinthians 11:8-9).

Today’s society would have us believe there should be no differences between a man and a woman. Society has it wrong.   We were created equally, but very differently, and so we have differing responsibilities in our marriage—ours being a HELPMEET. God created Adam, saying, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. (Gen. 2:18)

By respecting my husband, and submitting to him as the authority figure in our family–as he should be–my actions have helped to win him over without a word. First Peter 3:1 says, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.”

As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, submission is not a foul word. I don’t become a slave to my husband’s every demand—instead I take joy in serving him, and ultimately pleasing God. Val doesn’t take advantage of me, but rather gains respect for me, and chooses to love and honor me as I do him. This chain of command not only nurtures respect one to another, it also pleases the Lord, to whom we are ultimately accountable.

I encourage you to read Titus chapter 2, which teaches us a reverent way of life, and to also pick up a copy of Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debbie Pearl. You can purchase it on their website at www.nogreaterjoy.org or check your local Christian bookstore. This book is THE BEST in becoming a godly wife!  You may hate it, but you’ll thank me for recommending it.  

Being there for your husband (once you’ve read and applied the book) will be the best thing you can do for him to reconnect with God.

Read more articles like this in Candace’s monthly column: 
“Candid Candace – The Qs & As on Growing with God”