I really enjoy reading your advice column at CWO. What a wonderful resource. Thank you for being the God-centered, Christ-loving woman that you are! 

I too, am a mother of 3 young children. Between Bible study, homeschooling and caring for my home and husband, I struggle to find the time to exercise and eat properly.  I  wondered what your secret was to being so slim and healthy?

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My secret to staying slim and healthy is (drum roll please!)…eating well and staying active.

OK, I know that was a pretty simple answer, but it’s the truth. Over years of being on a weight roller coaster, I finally got to the point where I wanted to stay fit and feel good ALL the time. I always feel healthier and prettier when my weight is lower, and of course my clothes fit better. I had to change my eating habits and lifestyle once and for all. Luckily, my husband was 100% on board and was probably the biggest encourager to our family in this area. So, eating habits changed not only for me, but for my children and my husband.

As I’ve said here before, consult your doctor before choosing any diet or fitness routine, then consider what’s best. For me, the key has been eating fresh, healthy foods and not over eating. I’d prefer to eat more of the yummy foods I enjoy in smaller quantities, rather than eating large portions of ONLY healthy foods that I don’t really enjoy. For me, eating is about the taste and not the quantity. A lot of woman I know are just the opposite, where quantity is important, rather than quality. You have to figure out what is important to you and get into a new way of eating from there.

Include your whole family. If you just try to diet on your own, it’s not going to last for very long. If you change your whole family’s eating habits and fitness/sport routine, you’ll have a better chance at sticking to it.

I take pilates about 3 times a week as well as play tennis, and I walk about 1 1/2 miles every day (around my neighborhood). The kids either walk with me or ride their bikes. This turns into family time not only to share and laugh, but also exercise. (When the kids whine about walking the circle… telling them “no desert” usually quiets them up pretty fast.) And FYI… desert is usually fresh fruit. They have ice cream or something sugary sweet once or twice a week. (And we keep that to a small portion). Trust me, this makes the once a month trip to Cold Stones–for whatever they want–all the better!

Ultimately, I had to give my “food issues” over to God. There are bad habits I’m prone to repeating, but they never make me feel good for long. That’s when I ask myself, “Is food or God more important to me?” This usually stops my bad habits as well.

I hope this helps and encourages you.

I have read some of your advice articles at CWO and was wondering if you could share some of your insights regarding my situation.

I truly embraced my heart for the Lord around age 23. I started going to an evangelical church and was surrounded by some of the most genuine people I have ever met. I met my husband there and we were constantly serving at the church or spending time in small group or worshipping. Just before we were married in 2004, we moved for work and were excited to attend my husband’s former–much larger church.

From the moment I set foot in that church, my spiritual life and my fire for the Lord started to decline. My husband had been in a relationship years before when he was in OH and still had many friends who were members of the church.

One couple was very welcoming to me, and I actually lived with them before my husband and I were married. The other people, however, were nothing but cruel, even though my husband considered them great friends at the time. Several of them tried to break up our wedding, which of course they did not succeed in doing, but they did succeed in causing a rift between both my husband and I and myself and the church.

I was only about a year into the Christian faith, when all of a sudden people at church–a people that are supposed to welcome you with open arms–were trying to stab me in the back. After a rough first 9 months of marriage, we received a letter stating that yes, they were indeed trying to break us up because it was more convenient for their lives if my husband was back together with his ex girlfriend, because they knew her and just wanted things to be the way they were before.

I am pregnant with our frist child to be born this summer. I want more than anything to raise our child in a Christian home, knowing the love of God and being able to see that love shared between us and others. I know that it will take a lot of hard work to get back to a place of trust with the Lord and other Christians, but I do not know where to start.

I try to read my Bible and cannot seem to focus on it. I used to lead worship, but cannot bring myself to pick up my guitar. I used to love to hear teachings by my husband in small group, but find myself cutting him off whenever he goes on a “religious tirade” now. I was just wondering if you had any advice on HOW to forgive these people. I know that my heart will always be guarded and closed until I forgive them, but I see their actions as purposely evil and knowing that they are not the least bit sorry for the pain and hurt they caused me makes it very difficult to even think about forgiving them and moving on with my life.

Thank you very much for your time in reading this. I don’t expect you to have all of the answers, but any new insights into how to regain my fire for the Lord would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I have exhausted every avenue I can think of and do not want the rest of my marriage or my child’s life to be without God as the center. 

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Thank you for writing to me and being so honest in your email.

It sounds like you were in a very difficult situation and yet I can see God’s hand in bringing you back to MD to start new. Deep wounds are hard to heal; nevertheless, “with God all things are possible!” (Matt. 19:26)

In the past when I thought about people who hurt me, I wanted to cling to my hatred and anger towards them. My flesh wanted them to feel the same pain they caused me. In my heart I knew God wanted me to forgive them. I knew it was the “right” thing to do, but why didn’t it make me feel better? My forgiveness would have only been out of obligation and not from my heart.

It wasn’t until I had a strong relationship with the Lord that I saw clearly. I now understand why forgiveness does make me feel better and why I don’t want to hold on to my bitterness. You won’t be able to forgive until you are seeking God. Only through your relationship with the Lord, will you find true healing.

I think about what God did for me on the cross: His sacrifice for me and the forgiveness He has extended to me. And when I look at the depths of God’s forgiveness, it humbles my heart to tears. I don’t deserve His forgiveness. I’ve failed over and over again in trying to measure up to His standard of the 10 commandments. I have treated my ratty old t-shirt better than God at times. How offensive is that?

Yet, God has mercy on my soul, He loves me no matter what, He promises me eternal life with Him–all of these things that I don’t deserve! Since I gave my life to Him, He’s wiped my slate clean. His forgiveness and renewal is endless. God is so gracious. If God can have that much forgiveness and mercy on me, then why shouldn’t I extend the same forgiveness towards others? Am I better than God? NO! Of course not!

Also, it seems to me that you feel God is to blame in some part of this. That He forsook you. He didn’t. It’s sad when “Christian” people give true believers a bad name. I used to be one of them. I called myself a Christian for years even though I was living in sin. And there are many people out there that simply label themselves Christian because they attend church but are not producing the fruit that true Christians are known to produce. God doesn’t want to see your marriage crumble. He’s not working against you. Don’t believe the lies of the enemy that would have you think otherwise.

I strongly encourage you to start going to church again. You aren’t going to move ahead if you don’t give this over to the Lord, ask Him to forgive you of the anger you hold towards those people, and allow God to deal with their consequences. Also, I’d hope you won’t hang it over your husband’s head that you were right and he was wrong about them. Your husband knows, and you should move on, not allowing any deep seeded bitterness to sprout up from time to time when things are tense. I have a favorite book that helped me see the kind of wife God wants me to be called Created to Be His Help Meet by Debbie Pearl. This would be a wonderful new start for you. It is so important that you and your husband build your marriage on the right foundation–God’s Word. Start with prayer.

Also, please listen to “soundly saved” at www.wayofthemaster.com or buy The Way of The Master book by Ray Comfort. This book, like the Bible is sure to ignite the flame for God.

Blessings to you on your journey.

I am a young, Christian woman. Finding out that you were a Christian uplifted my spirits, like you wouldn’t believe!

Your role in the new movie “The Wager” is one of a seductive actress called Cassandra. And in one of your previous Q’s & A’s, you listed the questions that you ask yourself before you accept or receive a job.

One of the questions was this, “Will the new job be pleasing to God, and will it glorify Him?”

I asked myself, “How can this be pleasing to God?” The movie hasn’t come out yet, and I don’t know if your character, Cassandra, makes a turnaround in the movie (in which case I would say the part would be pleasing to God), but if she doesn’t than how does it please God? I am DEFINITELY NOT trying to question your judgment, but when I heard about the movie I thought it would be a good way for me to invite some of my non-Christian friends to go see it (use it as a witnessing tool), but I don’t know what it is about, and I don’t know if you would recommend it as a witnessing tool or not.

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Thanks for your questions. Do I think that the role I played was pleasing to God? Yes! The movie is rated PG, and is a modern day story based on the book of Job. Yes, my character Cassandra is a seductive movie actress, but keeping in line with a PG rating and being that it is a Christian film, there isn’t much to the seduction. It’s simply “implied.”

Randy Travis’s character, Michael Steel is struggling with life changing issues as God and Satan have placed a wager as to whether he is able to live out the Sermon on the Mount or not. My character is one of the temptations that forces Michael to make a decision about his wife and marriage. As I always want to honor God, my husband, and children, I purposely choose to be a part of the Wager because it’s a Christian film that shows the struggles of everyday life. In no way was the character I portrayed or the script dishonoring to God, but can clearly be used as a tool for the saved and the unsaved.

To answer your other question, yes, you can use this movie as a witnessing tool, although I think that I prefer The Passion of the Christ!! The Wager will be released on DVD May 13 nationwide.

Blessings to you,

I saw you on TBN the other day (with your brother Kirk) and decided that I would see what I could find out about your acting career. I was excited when I saw you had a spot for Acting Advice, but was disappointed that it is still under construction. As of last December (through an amazing sequence of events) it seems that God is calling our 17-year-old daughter, Heather, into acting–at least for now. We are committed to helping her pursue this training and experience for this coming year–since the rules all change when she turns 18. She has been attending classes and has her first background opportunity at the end of this month. The hard part is that there is little information about the movie and its rating at this stage of the project. Our concern and biggest struggle is that there is no clear line/guideline on where to draw the line for a Christian. Did you find yourself involved in things that you later wished you had known more about, and stepped away from? We believe God has led us this far (to be salt & light), but it is just all so out of our usual comfort zone. Any input you have would be greatly appreciated.

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Thanks for visiting my website. I’m happy to share my thoughts with you on the entertainment industry as a Christian. Working in television and movies today is very difficult as a Christian. You were right in saying it’s not clear where to draw the line. You’ll have to use your conscience and much prayer on this one. Yes, there have been a few things I’ve worked on and have regretted since becoming a Christian. There’s no turning back, but now, having a biblical worldview, my decisions are different and my options are fewer. An agent will tell you that as someone who’s starting out, you can’t picky about what you work on if you want to establish yourself. Most agents and managers will push your daughter to audition for everything and will encourage her to take what she can get. Most will tell you to compromise on the small stuff now and if she starts working regularly and develops a name for herself, she will have more opportunity to pick and choose then.

As a Christian, you MUST be picky. You don’t want to compromise your moral standards for some time in front of the camera. And you certainly don’t want to work on something that could lead a searching soul astray. This is why it is very difficult to be a Christian in the entertainment business. Most TV and movies today don’t uphold the standards that we value as Christians. My advice is to find an agent that is fully aware of where you stand morally, and that you’re not willing to allow your daughter to go on auditions if they compromise that in any way. Honestly, it will be hard to find an agent willing to work with you because there are so many talented actors who are willing to do anything. They may say “that’s fine” in the beginning, but eventually it will get old for them. I don’t want to sound completely discouraging…there are some good ones out there! You’re just going to have to do some research and find them. My mom was one of them, having her agency for 15 years (she’s retired now). If an audition comes along and there isn’t much information on it, get the sides in advance. If the material is questionable, call your agent and pass on it. Keep everything in prayer. Most of all, talk to your daughter and make sure she fully understands the seduction of the entertainment industry. We can’t be salt and light if we become like everyone else. On a positive note, studios are making more faith-based films since the success of Passion of the Christ!

Hi Candace. I’m from Indonesia. I remember that I liked to watch Full House when I was a kid, and now I’m 27 years old.

I was surprised when I Googled your name and found out that you are Christian, and that you have a website that shares your experience with God.

I want to ask you a question, what do you think about sex before marriage? Is it a sin? Please tell me your opinion about this. Thank you.

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Thanks so much for your question—I’m excited to get one from Indonesia!

Do I think sex that before marriage is a sin? Yes I do, because the Bible teaches so. Starting with creation, God made man and woman. One of the purposes was to procreate. “Be fruitful and increase in number” (Genesis 1:28). He also wanted them to have an intimacy with one another, and sex was a tool to do that. Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

In the Old Testament, many scriptures talk about remaining a virgin before marriage. There is much written about this subject in the Levitical law. The New Testament goes on to talk about it as well. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own”. Also, Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”.

The seventh commandment says “You shall not commit adultery”. Most of us assume adultery is only having sex outside of marriage. But Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Adultery starts within our hearts, and remember that God is a judge of our heart. That’s a high standard to hold up, considering most of us can look at an attractive person and immediately have sexual thoughts about them.

But that’s why Jesus came to save. He saves us from all our sin, because not one of us can keep His high standard. We are forgiven at the foot of the cross. At the place of grace we need to learn God’s Word and right from wrong.

Because the world has a skewed view of sex, marriage, and relationships, it’s seems like such a tall order to keep from having sex before marriage—and it is! It’s seems backwards from what the world says, and yet it’s what the Bible clearly teaches.

I know how blessed you will be to wait until your married, regardless of whether you’ve had sex before or not. You can always make a change RIGHT NOW. Pray about this subject, and talk to God about it. If you desire a deeper relationship with God, being obedient to His Word is where you need to start. There are also several great books out there that can help you understand why it’s important to wait, and also give you the encouragement and the scriptures to do so.

Many blessings in your journey,

Hi Candace! I just read the weight-loss question you answered, and wondered, what did you mean by “giving your food issues up to God”?

I am a married mother of four and I am having such a hard time! (I am on Weight Watchers)

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By “food issues” I meant some unhealthy eating habits I’d acquired in the past. For me, the only way to get past my abuse with food was getting serious about it with God. I needed to constantly pray that I’d stay away from unhealthy alternatives, and that I’d eat right, and exercise instead.

This sin was one that I loved and didn’t want to give up. I was scared. I constantly wrestled with it. And I knew it was keeping me from a closer relationship with God, and that I had to give it over to Him.

I said to Him, “I can’t do this on my own. I’m willing to take a step in faith to stop doing it the wrong way, knowing with all my heart that You will provide me the willpower to say ‘NO’ or give me a way out”.

That was the last time I was ever going to pray it. I didn’t want that struggle for the rest of my life. And while my view of food is not problem for me anymore, it’s an area I always have to keep close at heart, and pray about. I know the enemy is lurking, waiting at the door to creep in.

I think going on a diet like Weight Watchers is GREAT to learn portion control and to retrain yourself to eat properly. Food is a hard battle for most American’s since we have such an abundance and it’s so readily available to us. Stick to a plan and keep God close by your side.

Hi Candace! I just wanted to ask you for suggestions. I have a 13-year-old daughter that I think refuses to get saved. The rest of our family–being a 16-year-old sister, a 14-year-old sister, a 12-year-old brother, mom and myself–all profess CHRIST as our savior. We all go to church and all the kids are active in youth group.

My oldest daughter and my wife try to talk to my 13-year-old about being saved, and she won’t say anything. Youth leaders and other teens in the youth group witness to her, but she still won’t say anything and she won’t even talk to me about this issue. My oldest daughter has your brother’s movie, “Left Behind,” and the 13-year-old will not watch it. Even though we’ve tried to get her to watch it several times, she goes into the other room.

She loved watching you in “Full House,” along with the other girls. Do you have any suggestions? I am hoping that hearing from a role model such as you, might show her the need of being saved. If you have time to write her a letter that would be awesome or if you could send an e-mail of encouragement that would be great also. I am looking forward from hearing from you.

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Thanks for your question.

I know in raising my children, the very core of my efforts is to see them come to Christ. I’m sure it’s difficult to see one of your children unwilling to have a relationship with Him. It’s wonderful that your other children already love the Lord, but don’t lose hope.

The first thing I want to encourage you and your wife to do is not to pressure your daughter. While it’s our responsibility to show them Christ, it’s not our duty to get them to make the commitment. That must be the work of the Holy Spirit in them. I’m sure the pressure from mom and dad, and brother and sister may be causing her take a few steps back.

I think it’s actually a good thing at this point that she doesn’t give into the pressure. Don’t get me wrong; I want to see her soul saved as much as you do. But God says in Rev 3:15-16 “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot I will vomit you out of My mouth.” Better that she’s cold now and doesn’t make a decision for Christ just to get her family off her back, only to go running in the opposite direction once she’s 18; or worse, becoming a lukewarm Christian for the rest of her life. The best thing you can do is to continue to pray for her salvation daily, and live a life pleasing to God, being an example. Continue going to church and make her go as she’s 13 years old and is still under your authority. Let her know that the door is always open and you’ll be there to talk with her about God when she’s ready. Love on her; don’t be frustrated with her. I know your love and commitment to her as a father and from her mother will go farther than any pressured words.

Also, if she is a Full House fan, you can purchase my testimony CD at www.livingwaters.com or DVD at www.worldviewweekend.com. You could give this to her as something to think about, but again, let the Holy Spirit work in her. Don’t ask her 20 questions after she’s listened to it. It’s all in God’s timing, not ours.

I would just like to say that your ‘test’ is an absolute disgrace. [Referring to "The Good Person Test" available at Way of the Master]

Could you imagine a child looking up his or her favorite “Full House” actress, taking that test, and being frightened to her soul that she will suffer in Hell?

Children don’t understand the terminology used in this horrid test, Candace. You were a child star; you must understand that your fans are children. Children are still seeing reruns of your sitcom on television; you are still 13 years old to them. These are the people searching for your website, not grown adults looking for holy answers on DJ Tanner’s website.

I would appreciate a response for my daughter’s sake.

Thank you.

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Thanks for visiting my website. I’m sorry “The Good Person Test” offends you. I admit, it offended me too, until I understood God’s grace and mercy. It was a tool that helped me get right with God, and I have it on my website because it has encouraged others to do so as well. I do understand that not everyone agrees or sees eye to eye on the Bible, but there’s no question as to the God I serve. I’m very upfront about it as it’s the first thing talked about on my home page.

I do have a lot of young fans but even more adult fans, who grew up with the show and follow me through my ministry career. (I know this by the amount of emails I receive and whom they’re written from.)

I’m not D.J. Tanner, but Candace–a wife, mother, speaker and actress. My website is not a fan site for Full House, but a website about my life today, and one that I hope reflects my relationship with Jesus Christ.

As for children not understanding terminology–I beg to differ. My children are 5, 7, and 9 years old. They know well the words of the Bible, who Jesus is, sin and its consequences, heaven and hell, grace, mercy and His unconditional love.

I hope that any children who are of a young age surfing the internet would not be doing it alone. If you are concerned about your daughter seeing the test, hopefully you will filter the things in which you don’t want her to see and will be alongside her while she surfs the net.

Again, the “Good Person Test” is on there because I see value in it, and have had some amazing testimonies from people who have read it, are thankful for it and have sought out God because of it. I hope this has shed some light on your concerns.

(Visit www.wayofthemaster.com if you’d like to take “The Good Person Test”)  

I just read about your brothers website on Yahoo–a ministry of some kind. I read it, out of curiosity and then decided to see if you also believed as Kirk does.

I was wondering–and excuse my stupidity here–but what makes you desire to live the way you are now, compared to the riches of your TV status? What does God give you, in life, that’s better than what you have with television and movies and such?

As I was watching on the Internet of your brothers website, I had to hang my head, thinking whatever he believes, and lives has to be totally unconforming to the way you both were as actors. What could be more than that for you guys?

I know this is quite the odd question, but I’m trying to figure out what draws you guys to God, especially being so successful in life, the way you were.

I just don’t know that “draw” I suppose, and can’t see the lure in it.

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Thanks for your question. Not to sound like a Hallmark card, but there is so much more to life than success and wealth, fame and riches. The “draw” for me is my eternity. Life is short. All of us will eventually die. So the question becomes where do I want to spend my everlasting eternity: Heaven or Hell?

Being a Christian and living a life that’s pleasing to God doesn’t mean it’s a drag. I haven’t lost out on anything–I’ve only gained perspective on life, peace, joy, fulfillment and purpose. It is God who gives me all those things.

It’s something the world can never fulfill because it constantly begs you to get more, reach a higher level and keep acquiring more… and more… and more. It never satisfies. It keeps you focused on what you don’t have, what you should have and how you can get it. Everything to take your eyes off the fact that there is a Holy God to whom you’ll be accountable to on Judgment Day.

The peace and joy in my life? It’s not because God makes my world perfect. I still go through some of the same struggles and hardships that I have in the past. But my peace and joy is in knowing that God is with me always and I can rely on His strength to bring me through it. It also means that no matter what happens now, no matter how bad it is–it won’t compare to what’s to come in Heaven. I have that joy to look forward to.

I know that this may sound silly to you, or like a fairy tale that comforts me if life isn’t as good as I was hoping it would be, but it isn’t. I know that I know that I know, the Bible is the written Word of God. It’s worth your eternity to look at it and read what it says.

First off I just want to say what a true blessing you and this magazine are to me! So thank you so much for your time and great words!

Lately it seems like I have a hard time letting go of the sins I have committed in the past. I know I have been forgiven due to asking God for forgiveness and basically saying that I am sorry, but I still think about things I have done, and it brings me to tears sometimes.

I re-dedicated my life to God a few months back. I have been visiting churches in my area (I recently moved from my home town so I have been praying that God will find me a church in my area). But it’s been hard, trying to back away from “worldly” things that are out there.

I was brought up in a Christian home. My grandfather is a preacher at the church I went to in my hometown, and at age twelve I was saved, by asking God into my heart and forgiving me as a sinner. When I graduated from high school and started college, I started going down the wrong path, and then I would feel guilty and ask for forgiveness. It wasn’t till a few months ago that I realized I needed to change and start putting God first in everything I do. I know that if we ask God to forgive us, we are forgiven but how do I shake this feeling of “why did I do that?”

I have been reading my Bible and I just got the book you recommended: The Way of the Master. Any advice you have would be great!!

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Thanks for your email. I’m so glad you’re enjoying this column and CWO, and it’s good that you got The Way of the Master, because that’s the book I’d recommend reading.

I suspect you’ve never come to a place of Godly sorrow–I’m talking in tears, on your knees, over the sin in your life. It’s a place so deep inside of you, where you understand how offensive you’ve been toward God. Then understanding what He did for you on the cross and His grace.

I know you know “all the words” and what they mean, but I don’t know that you’ve been affected by it in your soul. It didn’t happen for me until after I read The Way of the Master. Maybe this will trigger it for you too, or maybe it will be something else.

In any case, once you’ve experienced Godly sorrow, you can come to a place of true repentance. Asking God to forgive you, and turning from your sin. See, it’s not just about feeling guilty over it and confessing it, but feeling so sorrowful that you don’t want to do it anymore. When you’ve asked for that forgiveness, it’s been given to you. There’s no reason to wallow in the guilt, that’s not going to do anything. You have to trust that once you’re forgiven, you’re forgiven.

“Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.” – Acts 13:38

Move on, and move into a right relationship with God. Dig into the Word to better know Him, and what He wants to do with your life.