I am 20 years old and have grown up in a Pentecostal church serving and loving God. I watched you on Full House while I was growing up (and still do today since it’s in syndication). You were such a huge role model for me growing up, and still are. I recently read Kirk’s book Still Growing, and found out that you are a Christian as well. I was overjoyed because there are few celebrities who proclaim their Christianity. I admire you very much–you are an amazing example.

I have a question. God has always been #1 in my life, until recently. I’m a student at a Christian college and I am always busy. I sometimes end up putting my Bible reading and praying to the side. How do you do it, being a mom, involved with your family–being so busy? How do you ensure that God is always #1 in your life, and that the things of this world don’t get in the way?

_________________________

Thanks for your email. I’m glad to know you love the Lord and serve Him. You asked me, “How do you do it, being a mom, involved with your family–being so busy? How do you ensure that God is always #1 in your life, and that the things of this world don’t get in the way?“

My #1 ministry is my family, so putting my husband first and taking care of my children are pleasing to God. I serve the Lord when I serve my family. But don’t let all my Q’s & A’s or my Christian website make you think that I’m a spiritual giant compared to everyone else. There are days I don’t read my Bible (I hate to admit) and there are days I’m off and running without starting out in prayer. But it doesn’t take long for it to catch up to me because of the emptiness I feel when I don’t give myself to the Lord first thing.

I guess when you are soundly saved and walking the road of Christianity, you have a sense of peace, joy, comfort and love you just can’t get anywhere else. When you see God in all His glory, speaking to you, directing you, performing miracles in your everyday life, you can’t help but want that relationship every day with Him. The thought of not hearing God’s voice because I’m not in-tune and listening for it makes me go crazy! And it’s never Him who leaves.

It takes work, it takes diligence, and it takes commitment. You have to put your priorities in order. How important is God to you? If you’re taking the time to ask me these questions, you obviously feel the void when you don’t pray or read your Bible. That’s a good thing! But it shouldn’t be out of guilt you do those things, it should be out of an utmost heartfelt gratitude that you have for God, because of His love in His sacrificial death for you.

We all need a little encouragement along the way. That’s why it’s so important to have friends around that are walking the same walk, keeping you accountable, and giving you encouragement. I don’t know what I’d do without my Wednesday Bible study girlfriends! I try to keep my eyes focused on the Lord and not the world. It’s easy for me when I’m faced with a decision to ask God, “Would this choice be pleasing to You?” Praying over it and holding it up to scripture helps keep me from letting the world get in the way.

Remember, you have to make it a priority, and that’s all there is to it!

I am 31-years-old, and grew up watching you and Kirk on TV everyday. It is awesome that you love God–so do I!

Do you and your brother send your children to a Christian School? If so, why is this so important to you? I have 3 little ones of my own and I am faced with this decision.

_________________________

Thanks for your email. Yes, we send our children to a private Christian school. It’s important for us because I want the education they receive to be rooted in God. Not only where creation is taught (not Darwinism), but the teachers have a heart for Jesus.

This means they pray, talk about problems and solutions in a Biblical way, and handle each situation with a Christ-minded approach. This is especially important because I want a school that co-labors with us, and that which we teach at home.

Going to a Christian school doesn’t mean there aren’t problems though–there still are. Kids will be kids. I feel somewhat safer knowing that my children are surrounded by other kids who are growing up with the same values, but I’m still cautious and aware of my children’s friends and activities both on and off of school.

I strongly believe that a school, which is based on the foundation of Christ, will be a safer place than a public school, where anything goes.

First of all, I just want to say that I grew up watching you on “Full House.”  I was about 10 when I first watched it, now I’m 27 and I have the entire DVD collection. It’s funny how “Full House” has always been one of my favorite shows, I still enjoy today, and now my son watches it with me. He’s 7, and knows everyone’s name.

I have a question. How do you feel about public schools? Being a Christian, it’s hard for me to be supportive of our country’s public schools when they don’t teach values or responsibility. I have had so many issues with the schools that my son has attended, and he’s only been in school for two years.

I look at it as the blind leading the blind, yet they’re the ones that are setting the students up to be our foundation, as we get older. I hate to see how this world is going to try to function with less intelligent people than those we have already.

_________________________

Thanks for your email. Glad you’re enjoying “Full House,” from one generation to the next.

Public schools. Yeah, it’s a tough one. Although I strongly encourage Christian schooling or home schooling with a Christian-based program, I’ll also say that my brother and sisters, and I all went to public school most of our lives, and my dad was a public school teacher for more than 35 years. I think we did just fine.

While I can look at public schools and feel generally disappointed with them, I believe that a school is as good as your child’s teacher. Having a loving, well-educated person, who loves what they do, can make the difference regardless of the school. I have some close friends who are Christians and are public school teachers and principals. They choose to stay in the public school system because they want to be a light to those children who may not otherwise see it at home. No, they’re not allowed to share openly in class and no, they can’t teach creation, but trust me, they are doing the best they can to represent Christ in all they do. I believe it’s important to get to know your child’s teacher, and talk with the school, if you feel there may be another teacher better suited for your child.

As I’ve said before, my children go to a private Christian school. I’m sure they will continue to as long as we’re able to afford it, or if our travels and sports take us in another direction, the other option would be home schooling for me.

While I choose not to have my children educated by the public school system, I still think it’s our responsibility to work with our government on local levels to create the best environment for children in public schools. We should have educated, hard working, well-paid teachers, and fight for issues like keeping God in the pledge of allegiance. Just because my child doesn’t go to a public school, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t fight for all the other children in our country.

I recently saw your movie, “No One Would Tell,” on TV, and loved it! It was eye-opening and powerful. Even though I thought that the overall message defeated some of the sinful things in the movie, it didn’t make them go away. I’m wondering what your thoughts on the movie are from a Christian viewpoint.

The only thing that really bothered me was when your character slept with Bobby (even though we didn’t see it, it was definitely implied), and when I found out you were a Christian, I was a little torn on the judgment there. I’m not even sure if you were a Christian when you shot this movie, but I really just wanted to know your thoughts on some of the things that movie portrayed.

_________________________

Thanks for your email. I’m glad you enjoyed watching “No One Would Tell.” I’ve had a lot of email from people over the years who have watched it and learned a lot from it. I think they still show it in some schools today.

I think it’s wonderful how you were aware that some of the movie made you uncomfortable from a Christian point of view. I filmed it about 13 years ago, and although I considered myself a “Christian” at the time, I was not living my life for Jesus. I remember being uncomfortable that my character “Stacy” had sex with her boyfriend (only implied by the script, not shown), but I also knew that the movie was based on a true story and they were trying to keep to the real story as closely as possible.

As a mother and woman following Jesus, I can look back at the movie and wish there were some things that weren’t in it. I may have made some other choices within the movie. And that’s always the tricky part for a Christian actor, because a lot of people can’t disassociate a character they are portraying with the real life person they are.

Overall, I’m still proud of the movie because it has opened the eyes of many teenagers, giving them insight into abusive relationships. Do I wish that Stacy had not been intimate with her boyfriend? Of course. But it was important in keeping true to the real story.

I think it’s so great that you’re discerning the difference between God’s ways and the world’s ways. Keep it up!!

I read your article from “Broward Family Life,” and was very enlightened. I grew up watching you on “Full House,” and now my daughter Nicole, who is 8, is watching you too. She has every season. How funny is that?

In the article I read that you are involved with 4 Kids of South Florida. I very much wanted to be a foster mother, but they want you to attend some 40 hours of classes at night, which is impossible for me since I have an 8-yr-old and I work fulltime. Is there anyway you could possibly help me become a foster mother without the classes? I have raised a 23-yr-old son, and an intelligent daughter, who is very helpful and well liked in school.

Any advice you could give me would help me, and maybe some lucky foster child. My daughter always said she would like a sister, but I can’t have any more children so why not be a foster mother? Look forward to hearing from you soon.

_________________________

Thank you so much for writing. I’m glad you enjoyed the article in “Broward County Life” magazine.

Unfortunately, I don’t know of any way to become a foster parent and skip the training hours. Most foster parents are more than capable but the training is to ensure that those wanting to become foster parents really are right for it, willing and able. It’s crazy to think that some people may foster with impure motives, but I’m sure the state and counties have seen these cases and do everything they can to make sure it doesn’t happen. Also, with an organization like 4 Kids of South Florida, it’s also important that the children are placed in loving Christian homes. Again, people can say anything they want on an application, so the training is a must to protect the children. I think the only type of full time care that wouldn’t require training would be adoption.

If you’re really serious about fostering, prayerfully consider the 40 hours of training. God can make it happen even with your work schedule. What may seem impossible for us is never impossible with Him. Ask Him, and be prepared for Him to answer you.

I was pleased to hear that you are coming to speak in my area. I know that I’ll be there and I’d like to also bring my daughter, however I am not sure as to the content of your testimony.

She is 8-years-old, and has been relatively sheltered. She understands many of the worldly temptations since we discuss them openly, but the points in between making the bad decision and the bottom of the pit have not been spelled out to her in detail.

Would it be appropriate to bring her? If not, what age would be? I have a number of friends with the same question.

I am looking forward to meeting you. Thanks for taking the time to answer my question.

_________________________

Thank you so much for your question. I actually wish people asked me this more often! It’s important to know what we are allowing our children to listen to even if it’s a Christian testimony and someone you grew up watching.

I do believe my testimony is appropriate for any age although it’s most relatable to teens and adults. I don’t talk about sex in length although I mention it once by using the word “intimate.” I briefly mention being a “drug addict or alcoholic” in talking about those things I wasn’t.

The strongest topic is about Heaven and Hell. I openly talk about Hell–not describing the pit, but sharing how we are all bound for it, if not for the grace of Jesus Christ. I have a 9, an 8 and a 6-year-old child. The two older ones have heard my talk (my six-year-old just isn’t interested.) We talk about heaven and hell openly at home. Without the talk of Hell, Heaven would not make sense, or would lessen its indescribable awesomeness. Some parents feel that only God’s love should be talked about with a child, but I beg to differ. I believe that by sharing the WHOLE gospel–which includes sin and Hell–they’ll experience a stronger walk into adulthood.

I hope this helps you. In case you’re still in doubt, you can also listen to my testimony on my website. I keep pretty close to what you’ll hear on the site, although I’ll often share other stories as the spirit leads me as well.

Thank you again for such an important question and I hope to see you, with our without your daughter as the Lord leads you!

I just want to tell you what a blessing you are, and how happy I was to learn that you are a committed Christian! I am 38-years-old, and watched you back in the “Full House” days. I have always loved you! Seeing you as the woman you turned out to be, is such an inspiration. I have been a Christian since I was seven, and was so blessed to grow up in a wonderful Christian home. It is so amazing to see someone like you with a heart like mine.

You are so beautiful on the outside, and more importantly, so beautiful on the inside. One can truly see God’s love in your countenance.

I have a couple of beauty questions: What kind of make-up do you use (base and powder)? I have the hardest time finding something that doesn’t look like I have a ton of make-up on, yet natural. Also, what kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use? Any deep conditioners or hair masks? I have hair similar to yours (color and length). It takes a lot to keep colored hair healthy, so any tips would be great.

Also, when you get your hair cut, how do you tell them you want it cut? I LOVE your hair!

Thanks, Candace for reading my email. Just know what a blessing you and your website are!

_________________________

Thanks so much for the sweet email.

To answer your questions–I use Sheer Cover mineral based powder foundations. Yes, it’s a Leeza Gibbon’s product: www.sheercover.com! I thought I’d try it, and I LOVE it. I use Frederik Fekkai hair products, which can be found at www.sephora.com. I have fine hair but a lot of it. It’s the most resilient hair my hairdresser has even seen. I’m blessed with that, because my hair shouldn’t be in as good of shape as it is since I’ve been coloring and highlighting it since I was 12.

I trust my hairdressers and usually explain the type of cut I want. Layers are a must for long hair, or else it’s shapeless and homely looking in my opinion. A few months ago, I decided to cut some bangs and am having fun with it. They do a great job with my hair, and I’ve never been unsatisfied. That of course is with my two trusted hairdressers: one in L.A. and one in Miami. It took a lot of searching, bad cuts, and color in between to find these people worth sticking with.

If you don’t have a regular hairdresser that you love and trust, I’d take a picture of someone who’s cut you’d like to emulate. That should help!

Candace, I want to ask if you have any thoughts about how to teach our little ones about Christ? I have 2 boys: ages 2 & 5. I try to teach them about God; we read Bible stories at bedtime and we pray and talk about God here and there.  Maybe it’s just a developmental thing, but my 5 year old seems so aloof. When he prays, he’s just repeating the words that he’s heard me pray, it doesn’t come from within himself. And when I try to teach him about God, he’s looking off into space, or trying to play with something. It is so frustrating to me because more than anything, I want them to know and love the Lord.

I’m not sure if God is just still an abstract idea to him or if he just doesn’t have a reverence for God yet.  Would love to know your thoughts!  Thanks so much!

_________________________

You sound like you are doing a wonderful job with your children teaching them about Christ. Don’t be discouraged if your 5 year old doesn’t “get” Him yet–he’s 5! Yes, I know some children who have professed their love for the Lord at the same age, but everyone develops differently. The most important thing you can continue to do is to love your children and teach them about God. Continue to read with them, play with them, and nurture them. Don’t think that reading those Bible stories are all for nothing. You’ll be surprised one day when your son is asked about something and he’ll recall a Bible story mommy read. Kids are like sponges. They soak it ALL in. Some kids just don’t squeeze it out till later.

I love The Way of the Master book for kids. It’s a really fun way to learn the 10 commandments and the story of creation. Remember that the best way to teach your kids about who God is at a young age, is to reflect within yourself the very things you’re trying to teach. In other words, live out your life for Christ. Your actions will speak loud and clear.

Keep up the good work and put your worry to rest. God loves your boys more than you do! Can you imagine that?!

With great interest I’ve been following your website and reading your advice column here.  As a young woman of the same age as you, and with a similar background in acting and upbringing, I’ve felt best able to relate to your story of seeking out a more truly Christian lifestyle and searching for greater meaning and discipline to my life.
 
I was just about ready to “make the leap” and seek out some of the resources you’d recommended, when I read something that made me doubt my ability to blend a Christian life with the convictions of equality I’ve been raised to believe in. Convictions that now, as an elementary school teacher, I try to pass on and stress to my students each and every day as I attempt to help them build their confidence and sense of self.
 
You gave advice to a woman who was trying to come to an agreement with her husband about homeschooling. You wrote that in the end, the husband is the leader of the family and should make the final decision.
 
I was raised to believe that men and women are equals and should act as partners when married. I also believe this demonstrates to children that women shouldn’t be submissive and that their opinions are as worthy as that of males. I know that to suddenly change my way of thinking that my partner’s opinions should be the final ones regardless of compromise would leave me feeling disrespected and unsatisfied, and I would hope through compromise my partner would never feel this way in return, either.
 
If it is true that it is suggested that men dominate the “power” role in the modern family, I’m not sure if my yearning to walk a similar path to your’s is right for me after all, and I feel more confused than ever. I have put acting behind me and am enjoying my career as a teacher, and look forward to marriage.  Will it be possible for me to dedicate my life to Christ if I don’t feel “right” putting my partner on an uneven plane as myself? 
 
Thanks if you are able to help me sort this out.

______________________________________

Many women in today’s culture struggle with this very thought and subject, so you’re not alone. It is our society that’s got it messed up and has confused us all. Just because you were raised a certain way and brought up to believe certain things, it doesn’t mean they are right. Let’s look at the Bible for answers.

Marriage is an equal partnership in that BOTH roles, husband and wife, are equally important. But, they are not designed to be the SAME role. The Bible says, “For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman: but the woman for the man” (1Corinthians 11:8-9). In Genesis, God created Adam and said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a him an help meet for him”. (Gen. 2:18) See, we were CREATED to be a helper to our husbands.

“Submissive” is not a four letter word. Today’s culture would have us believe it is. That is straight from the mouth of the enemy. Being submissive to my husband in no way makes me feel disrespected or unsatisfied. I haven’t turned into a door mat that gets walked all over. Just the opposite! As a submissive wife, I have a great responsibility and role in my marriage. Yes, I’m the second in command but does that make my role less worthy? No.

Think of it in military terms. You have a commanding officer and a soldier. There is a chain of command. Does that make the soldier’s role less important? Of course it doesn’t. If everyone was a commanding officer, there would be chaos! Same thing in your household. Having two heads of authority doesn’t work by design. Once a conflict arises, you will both stand on your principles until someone compromises, or worse–not, and the other will feel defeated. Most likely it will be your husband who’ll do the compromising because it will be easier to give in than listen to his unhappy wife. This cycle will continue on in your marriage, only to have your husband feel he’s incapable of making good decisions for your family, that you don’t respect him, and ultimately find himself looking for a woman who will. I know that sounds harsh, but why do you think the divorce rate gets higher and higher every year?

I take joy in serving my husband. He does not take advantage of me. I don’t become his slave. I help him because it pleases the Lord, and ultimately, THAT is who I care about most. When I love, honor, respect and help build my husband into the man God wants him to be for our home, he has so much love for me in return. He WANTS my opinion, he trusts me, he takes my advice and asks what I think on just about every subject. This trust has been given because of my attitude when it comes to his decision making. We talk, we share, he knows what’s important to me. He ALWAYS takes that into consideration. I’ll tell you, most of the time, my husband will yield to my direction on the subject because he values it so. But, when he believes a different decision to be right, I allow him to make that final decision and not say anything more about it. I don’t let the disappointment show on my face for the next few days. I don’t whine and complain about not getting my way. And I CERTAINLY don’t rub it in his face if my way would have been the better way! I’m right there by his side to help him make a better decision the next time around. (Trust me… when things like that happen, they’ll listen to you even more next time!)

Ultimately, my husband is responsible for all the decisions made in our home before God. He’ll stand before God to give an account of our family. That’s a weight lifted from my shoulders and yet such a hefty responsibility for my husband. I want to do everything possible to see us succeed together.

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (1Cor. 11:3) Do you see the chain of command? Even Christ is subject to one higher than himself–God! Why then, should we feel that we deserve to be equal with everyone else? Are we not subject to Christ as well? Again, this is society’s view that’s got us all confused. I choose to allow my husband to lead because I want to do it God’s way. I gave up “my rights” when I gave my life over to the Lord.

I could write pages and pages on this subject, but there just isn’t enough time in the day. This answer is not complicated because scripture is abundantly clear when it comes to the role of being a wife. Read Titus 2. If you are seeking God and His ways…. you can’t pick and choose what makes you feel good or more comfortable. God is a God of Truth and has written His ways and ultimate design for our lives in the Bible. While the subject seems to be a stumbling block for you in knowing the God who created you, it’s clearly an attack to prevent another soul from being saved. Before you give up on a right relationship with God because of this subject, seek the scriptures. They are TRUTH. God can open your eyes spiritually if you’ll ask Him.

My recommended reading for you is: Created to Be His Help Meet by Debbie Pearl and Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

May God give you the clarity you need to know His ways.

Love what you’re doing and think you look amazingly beautiful! ‘Full House’ would still be considered as one of my favorite shows! They just don’t make them like that anymore–good clean fun!

I checked out your website and was reading this question and answer column when I came across the answer to your secret for keeping fit! First time I’m hearing of Pilates (strange pronunciation to boot!) I looked it up on Wikipedia, and found it grouped with Yoga. There are a lot of things said against doing Yoga, so I was wondering whether Pilates would fall into the same group. What are your thoughts on Yoga too?

_________________________

Great question! I tried Yoga on and off about 9 and 10 years ago, but always felt uncomfortable with the “meditation.” I loved holding the positions as they strengthen your body immensely, but could never put my finger on the thing I didn’t like about it. Over the years, I too have read several articles on Yoga and the spiritual dangers of it. I’ve stayed away from it–although I’m not saying it’s a ’sin’ to do it. It’s just my preference. Pilates on the other hand does not fit into the same category. It is not about meditation and contacting your inner self. It is strictly moves on either a mat, a reformer, a chair or tower that all work to strengthen your core; resulting in long, lean muscles. It’s amazing and the best workout I’ve ever done. The breathing is important only so your core is working properly; not for spiritual reasons.

Try it! I’m sure you’ll love it too.