Please pray for Ana. They recently told her she has cancer and that it’s in her vital organs. Ana has 5 children and her husband is in jail. Please pray for a strength and comfort for the family.
Thank you,
Michelle, Claudia, Nohemi, family and friends
Please pray for Mrs. Hernandez. She went through surgery not too long ago and due to this the District which she works for reduced her hours making her part-time employee. Her husband is also working very few hours a week and has threaten to divorce her. Her daughters instead of helping the situation have been making it worse. Mrs. Hernandez now spends most of her time in bed crying. Please pray that she may find comfort and healing in God. That He may give her the strength and guidance she needs through this difficult time.
Thank you for your prayers.
Nohemi & Claudia
Please pray for my husband or me to receive a financial blessing. We are so behind on all our bills. The creditors are constantly bothering me at work and even threatening me that our house might go into foreclosure and that both our vehicles will be repossessed.
Thank you,
Michelle
My mother is having a hip replacement the second week in May. Mother is 91 (closer to 92) years of age. She is in good health for her age.
Pease pray for her. Thank you.
Martha
I need desperate prayer tomorrow morning during 8:30 and 9:30. Regarding my acceptance into the respiratory program at BCCC.
Thank you,
Yesenia
Please pray that God may continue to work in our lives and heal our marriage. That he may keep us safe from anyone or anything that wants to destroy our marriage and our covenant with God. That we may always feel the love that we feel now and that if ever either one of us is tempted may God convicts in our hearts and turn away from sin. That we can be not only better husband and wife, but also better parents to our child.
Thank you,
Claudia
Please pray for Roy, a patient in ICU at Metrohealth in Cleveland. Specifically prayer is needed that Roy would awake from a week long coma from a tragic pedestrian/truck accident. Roy was the pedestrian. Please also pray for the driver who is suffering from tremendous sorrow from this accident. Thank you.
I am looking for a prayer for my husband’s family as they seem to be falling apart as the result of my mother-in-law’s recent stroke. They bicker and argue constantly about what is best for her, and now, it seems they’re not speaking to my father-in-law at all. I’m worried that my mother-in-law’s MUCH NEEDED care and prayer is going to get lost in the shuffle–any suggestions would be appreciated. I pray for her and them daily, but I’m kind of at a loss for the right words to say to help them put aside their differences for the greater good. Thank you!
Debbie
I run my own business and my company has been in bad shape for the past years. Our debtors are not paying us, they have been missing in action. We couldn’t locate them. Sometime back, I’ve borrowed a sum o f money from my sis. Now that it’s been a while, she’s asking me back for the money. My sis is a persistent kind of person. She would not take ‘Later” for an answer. I’ve been suffering from her constant harassment in terms of words. She would call me everyday to ask me for the money. Right now, i couldn’t pay her back yet.
Two days ago, without checking our company balance account, I banked in the payment for my sis. I was hoping for a miracle to happen. At the back of my mind, I was hoping that my debtors would TT the money to us. But this morning, I’ve received a call frm the bank, my banker told me that our account has been overdrawn. My first thought was, “there’s no such thing as miracle” I am really losing my faith in God. Why do i have to go through these again? Before this, my company has been experiencing other financial prob too because of the previous management. So, it’s really a non-stop war at the company, I’ve been fighting to survive. And I thnk I’ve fought enough. There were times when the pressure was too much that i thought of commiting suicide. I just wanted these to end. Pls pray for my financial needs, my company and my home bills.
Thank you.
I need prayer. Please!
Just happened to stumble upon this site by chance and let me say that I am most appreciative of your offer to pray for those who need it. I know the power of God and will not turn down an opportunity to be prayed over by my brothers and sisters in Christ.
I’m a 26 year old mother of 2 and this weekend I told my husband I wanted a divorce. I don’t really, but I also don’t feel that I can go on living in the situation we’re in – he is addicted to a drug and won’t quit, refuses to discuss bills or contribute to the household, and is verbally abusive. He doesn’t like to spend time with his family, and constantly chooses his drug and druggie friends over us. It hurts immensely, and I’ve cried out to God over this over and over. While I often receive momentary comfort from Him, I have a difficult time burying the resentment I feel over single-handedly running a household while my husband plays video games at his drug dealer’s house. When he IS at home, he’s yelling at and berating our 2 small daughters, often reducing them to tears. It’s heart-breaking and frustrating to endure these situations over and over.
I’m torn between honoring my marriage vows and making a better life for my daughters and me. I don’t feel like I can spiritually lead our house while being around him – I’m so angry and thus distracted all the time. I also have a hard time reconciling how God would want us to live in such a miserable situation, one that seems to destine my young children for a life of emotional scars and embittered childhood memories. I just want to break away and start fresh in a place where we can be free of the strains of all his problems. I love him and deep down, do NOT want this, but what choice do I really have? Is it a sin to get out of a situation like this? I don’t want to displease God or rob my kids of a daddy, but it seems the love in our marriage is not reciprocal. That realization coupled with all the other problems has shattered my heart and is therefore affecting every area of our life. Our family is so broken, and I don’t know any other way to mend it other than divorce.
The pain is so intense that I cry every night, unsure of God’s direction. I need prayer, badly. It is MUCH appreciated.
Thanks in Christ,
Carissa
My name is Jill. I attended a Lutheran church from the early 1960’s to the early 1980’s in my hometown in Illinois. Twenty-eight years ago, I turned my back on God when my fiancé was killed in a car accident.
In May of 2005, when my life became messy and I felt that God was calling me back to Him, I rededicate my life back to Christ and found a non-denomintional church here in Las Vegas. At that time, my husband became a Christian for the very first time in his life at the age of 51.
All my life, I bottled up a lot of stuff, a lot of abuse and some of life’s greatest pains. Some people that know me would not think those things happened to me or in my life because I always hid them from everyone. Last year at this time, I was just starting to learn to trust people in our church and really open up about all the abuse in my entire life. So I sought the advice and guidance of one of the pastor’s in our church at the end of August. She set up a meeting with me. The pastor took everything the wrong way and turned on me. I ended up coming home from that meeting and actually collapsing into my husband’s arms. I feel that the pastor abused me emotionally and spiritually that night.
Due to all the abuse in my life, I viewed the church as my one and only “safe haven”. It was the one and only place I was not abused or wounded. I feel that changed at the end of August after meeting with that pastor. Due to my upbringing in the church, I respected and admired pastors. I always looked up to “pastors” and viewed them as a “representatives of God”. I do admit that I placed them on pedesals. They have a higher calling to be “people that are supposed to act like Jesus”. I also understand that pastors are human too.
Since September, my husband and I feel that we cannot go to a church due to the ill feelings. I feel that I will never be able to walk into that church again and hold my head high or feel like I am home or at peace. I feel that I have no safe haven to go to now. I am still so deeply hurt. This has caused me more emotional and mental pain than all of the things I have been through. To this day, the pastor did not even apologize for their actions. Back in September, my husband emailed the senior pastor of the church in an attempt to get the matter resolved. However, to this day, the situation has not been resolved.
I just want to wake up one day and this nightmare between the pastor and I to be over with. I keep praying for God to take away all my pain and suffering over the course of my life. I am also now having a hard time with my Christian faith and beliefs. My spark is slowing going out. It took me 25 years to go back to church after the lost of my fiancé. I don’t want that to happen again.
Would you please pray for God to heal me from everything that has happened (all the abuse) and to help me get back on track with my relationship with Him (God)? Also, please pray that God shows my husband and I the direction we are supposed to go in, possibly finding a different church. Also, that He (God) will put people in life to show me what true love is and that He truly does love me?
Thank You!
God’s Blessings,
Jill S.
I have been a foster parent for just over a year now. In September of last year I took in a 15 year old girl who is extremely troubled. Recently she decided to go to a friends for the weekend (which is not allowed) while she out she ended up stealing a car and of course got caught. Because i did not call her in as a runaway like I should have, they ended up taking the other two children in my home– one being my grandson and the other my 5 year old whom I have had for almost a year. Both of these children were close to being adopted by me.
Please pray that a determination will be made that my two children will be returned to my home. My children really need God’s favor right now so that their lives can get back to normal and that they can be back home where they belong. We have all been thrown into the Lion’s Den and I am struggling to hang on. I miss my children very badly! Please pray also that while they are away that God’s angels protect them and watch over them.
Blessings, Kim
We need prayers! My 18 year old son, Matt, has been making a lot of bad choices in the past 3-4 months. It seems like Satan is really on the attack. Please pray for him. He graduates soon, and I’m not sure what is next. Please pray for me. I’m scared, and my heart hurts so badly right now.
Thank you,
Michelle
Please pray for the salvation of my husband and my marriage. My husband has been living in sin and I was just so devastated when I learned about it. But I believe that God will not allow this to continue. I have been praying and standing for the restoration of my marriage and I believe my prayers are not in vain.
Please pray for us. We really need prayer warriors now more than ever.
Pia
I am not sure if you could be of any assistance, but I am trying to get the word out about a dear friend of mine’s story. She is an awesome Christian woman and you could find her new blog here: www.littleoneapril.blogspot.com
Her daughter is terminally ill and it is obvious that her story has already touched a lot of other Christian (and non Christian women) the last week she has had her blog up.
A friend of mine actually told me about CWO and I thought I would check it out and see if you could help me and her and her daughter get other Christian sisters united in prayer for this sweet girl.
Thank you so much.
In Christ,
Christine
Please pray that I will be able to resolve impacted bowels, before I have to have surgery perhaps. It is one of the worst types of pain one can have, and believe me, I have had alot of pain every day in various areas along with 4 surgeries since 2001!! I am afraid to eat and just use a juicer, so I won’t have to go through this horrific pain again.
Thank you so much for each and every prayer on my behalf.
Amy
Hi I am a 25 years old and have been married to my wonderful husband for 5 years. My reasons for needing prayer are I want to give my whole self to the Lord and I always start out so strong but then I faulter. I want to be able to keep up and not let my faith get pushed aside. For several years I have felt the Lord calling me I just know i am not the person the Lord desires.
My second is my husband. He says he is agnostic and my biggest prayer is that he would give himself to the Lord. I truly feel that if him and I were in this journey together we could make it. Thank you so much.
Natosha
This month we have a very special guest with us. CWO has had other wonderful guests in the past, but none have affected me quite as much as Trish Ramos from Living Waters Publications/Way of the Master Ministries.
Sunny Shell and Trish Ramos have teamed up in Sister2Sister to preach the gospel at the University of North Texas. Trish is a role model to women everywhere, giving us the inspiration and the tools to boldly share our faith.
What really makes this issue unique is that Sunny and Trish have created a 2 part video presentation for us so that we can see Trish doing what she does best–”Preach the Gospel.” Trish says that even though she has done this for over a decade, it is still scary, every single time.
You won’t want to miss either video–they are both awesome! I really can’t say enough about how pleased I am with those two girls. They breath life into this March issue, as well as the lives they touch on campus.
We also have two awesome giveaways that you’ll want to check out! One is a purse that Trish Ramos is giving away which is packed full of witnessing tools, and the other is a 10 ticket giveaway for “A Woman Inspired” online conference. Get the details on those, and be sure to enter!
Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
–Matthew 28:19-20
Blessings,
Founder and Editor,
Christian Women Online Magazine
“Uniting Women of Faith”
Read my column—Live Well!
My blog: Darlene Schacht.com
This is what all our lives should only be about – giving honor and glory to God for who He is and the great things He has done. And this is exactly why we, here at CWO do what we do; “uniting women of faith” so that we may fellowship, exhort and edify one another in Christ, all the more as we see the Day approaching. One of the ways we desire to fulfill this great calling from God is to bring you stories that will inspire you to drink deeper into the well-spring of life – the Lord Jesus Christ. In an effort to stay abreast of all the media resources God has provided His children to further the Gospel, CWO will continue to stretch our faith, get out of our comfort zones and be willing to go and do as the Lord leads.
Ascribe to the LORD the glory due His name; bring an offering and come before Him! Worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness. –1 Chronicles 16:29
With this in mind, I’m so ecstatically excited to introduce to you, our March cover story, Trish Ramos from Living Waters Publications/The Way of the Master ministries…caught on tape! Yes, you read that right. This interview is CWO’s very first video-interview! And WOW! Does this sister love our Lord Jesus as she only lives for the very reason why He came: seeking to save the lost, and restoring them to a right relationship with God the Father.
Trish not only works for Living Waters Publications/Way of the Master ministries, has a regular segment on Wretched Radio with Todd Friel every Thursday, but is also blessed by God with her own ministry called, Fish with Trish. Recently, she has been asked to be a guest on Faith 2 Action with Janet Porter, Life! Line with Craig Roberts (San Francisco), KFAX LIVE! With Andy Froiland (Texas) and Ambassadors’ Alliance Radio with Tony Miano. God is truly using our wonderful sister Trish to speak into the hearts of His daughters to compassionately and boldly take His Gospel to the utter ends of earth (your neighborhoods, children’s schools, grocery stores, fast food drive-thru’s, etc.).
Our interview was taped at The University of North Texas campus. There are two parts to the interview. Part 1 – our sister Trish shares her heart, her ministry to women and her deep passion for the lost, plus some incredibly easy evangelism tips and so much more! Part 2 – you will get to see Trish in action as we catch her on tape, witnessing to two college girls! And to top it all off, Trish is offering a very generous and eternally focused, purse give-away!
Trish Ramos – Way of the Master (Part 1)
Trish Ramos – Way of the Master (Part 2)
Here are a couple of two really important points Trish made that didn’t quite make it on tape:
You can pass them out, or you can leave them places, i.e., bathrooms, lobby’s at hospitals, include one every time you mail a bill, etc.For more encouragement on how to share your faith biblically and effectively, 2-minute evangelism tips, and latest stories, visit our sister Trish at:
Congratulations to Lisa Strand who won a gorgeous, black leather, Tignanello evangelism handbag! Estimated worldly value, over $130.00! Exact eternal value, PRICELESS!
Handbag Description:
-Black High Quality Leather “Tignanello” Handbag
-5 pockets-perfect for tracts (2 conveniently placed on the outside)
-The interior is lined with silk and a very pretty design
-Handbag fits nicely over the arm
What comes in the bag:
-1 pack (set of 100) Million Dollar Bill Tracts
-1 pack (set of 100) Headstone I.Q. Test (personally designed by Trish)
-1 pack (set of 100) Hey Kids
-20 Sets of Curved Illusions
-A pack of gum. Fresh breath is a must when sharing your faith.
The giveaway is now closed. The winner randomly chosen was Lisa Strand. Thank you to all who participated.
Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.
This month, Candace gets candid on weight loss when a reader says, “I’m over indulging again and can’t stop.”
I saw you in US Weely Magazine, and you look great! I wanted to ask, how do you keep yourself from slipping back into bad eating habits? I often find that I’m going along so well, and then the next thing I know I’m over indulging again and I can’t stop. I feel like when this happens I just undid all of the good work that I did. What’s your trick?
The simple answer is that I train my body instead of spoiling it. Let me explain…
The other night, I made chicken and salad for dinner—or maybe it was pasta–I don’t exactly recall what we all had, but I do remember Maks liking it all a little too much! When Maks likes what he’s eating (which is often the case) he just keeps on scooping it in until I notice his sweet little cheeks getting full, and I say, “Maks, honey—you’ve had enough.” It’s a good thing I’m there to monitor him, since I fear the little guy may one day explode.
After dinner he started in on dessert, taking an apple, followed by a banana, along with high hopes of having yet another apple or two—until I stopped him again. You don’t want to be the person behind him at an all you can eat buffet—trust me on that.
Finally it was time to put the kids into bed, Lev was brushing his teeth, Natasha was reading a book, and Maks was parading around the room tapping on his little round belly.
“Uh, Mom?” He said, finally pausing for breath. “There may be a problem. I think I’m pregnant!”
I tried not to laugh, before explaining to him that he wasn’t about to give me a grandkid, nor by the looks of it–two.
I also found it a good time to explain that we don’t have to go hog wild when we’re eating, just because it tastes good. We need to consider what’s best for our bodies, when to say ‘When’ and how it’s my job as a mom to train him until he’s equipped to make that decision himself.
In much the same way, many of us eat as we please, because we aren’t trained to consider the result of our actions. We see where our actions have gotten us, but we don’t always realize the importance that discipline would have made.
We might say something like, “Overeating this once isn’t such a big deal. I can eat this, that, and the other, then I’ll just get back on track in the morning!” Getting on track is important, but the plan often falls through because we’ve started allowing sloppy habits to form. I don’t let my kids get away such behavior, so why would I condone it for myself?
The trick is to look at it like your spirit is in charge, not your passions. Realize that you’re a grown up girl, and start living and eating accordingly–even if the going is tough. After a while you’ll be used to the training. Remember, discipline is never pleasant, but it yields fruit to those who are trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11).
Hope that helps!
Visit Candid Candace for more Qs & As
After ten years, I can finally say with confidence that I am a lifetime member of the Live Well plan. Being a lifetime member doesn’t mean that I’m so tiny I slip back into my high school jeans, nor does it mean that I don’t struggle with the desire to eat more often than I should. What it does mean to me is that I have been walking this journey day after day, year after year for over a decade.
I’m averaged-sized, and while I’d love to be micro-mini-sized, so I’d look adorable in baby doll dresses and swimsuits, I’m not. I walk and I fall; I lose and I gain. Three steps forward—two steps back. But slowly and surely I’m getting there.
I wear a size 7 pants, but if I shop at the “generous” clothing stores that stroke my ego with rock bottom numbers, I might squeeze into a size 4.
I haven’t always been this way. As I’ve written in past articles, I wore plus-sized clothing in my mid-twenties through to my early-thirties, but I’ve come a long way, baby—and I’m not going back!
The other day as I was reaching into the fridge for some strawberries, a revelation came to mind. It was then—during that moment of choice—that I realized a key factor which has kept me from gaining back all the weight.
I had tried diets before. I had joined reputable groups. I had practiced things that I’ve learned. But the one ingredient I had been missing was this: persistence.
When you combine persistence with the grace of God, you become a dynamic living force. It’s as simple as that. Stop giving up when the going gets tough, and for once in your life, make it happen.
Next time you feel a hint of discouragement dragging you down, remember Bartimaeus the blind man who sat by the side of the road. The Bible tells us that many rebuked him, telling him to be quiet, but instead of heading their voice, he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
The result of his persistence was the restoration of his sight. (Mark 10:46-52)
And look at Zacchaeus—a wee little man with great persistence. The Bible tells us that he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree to see Jesus. His determination resulted in a personal visit from Him that day. Can you imagine? We get excited about winning a celebrity lunch date, but this little guy had the Messiah over to his house for tea–well maybe coffee–who knows for sure.
Then in Mark chapter five we read about a woman with a 12-year issue of blood who pressed through the crowd just to touch the hem of His garment, and immediately she was healed.
Anyone of these people could have given up when the going got tough, but they chose to persist, and in doing so reaped the benefits that perseverance has to offer.
We can only imagine the opportunities that we’ve lost over the course of our lifetime because we gave up just before sunrise.
Ever have one of those weeks where the plateau gets you so low that you give up all together? Have you ever wondered what might have happened if you would have waited one more week? My guess is that the scale would have moved.
And what about those nights when you get so down on yourself because you made a mistake. Have you ever thrown the plan out the window because you didn’t meet your own high level of expectation? We’re not created to be perfect—we’re created to press on:
Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
-–Philippians 3:12
Stick with it! If it’s been dark for a while, have hope—it could possibly be the last hour of the night. Don’t fall asleep now, and miss the breathtaking sunrise.
©2009, Darlene Schacht
Find more articles on faith-focussed weight loss in Darlene’s monthly column, “Live Well!”
They’ve captured me on film wearing it, like a toga slung over one shoulder, like a mantle flung over and hanging, and sometimes I wave hands, waving off that clicking shutter because I’m wearing this thing, and sometimes, frankly, I entirely forget that it’s there, it flowing from me.
And yet there are ways, after all these years, it’s only now becoming who I am and what it means to love.
They’re meant to hang on racks, these dishtowels, or drape over oven handles, or slip on the knob of cupboard under the sink. I wear mine. The one with the waffle weave, burnt orange and tattered, preferably. But I’m not particular.
The blue striped one, like old pillow ticking, blackened at edges, singed by a close call with a ringing element all aflame, or the faded-from-years gingham from Holland and love of Dutch mother-in-law, whichever, I’ll fling whatever over shoulder, official badge of the domestic, and begin.
Because a mother soaks it up.
Of course, that’s how I came to wear it, them spilling water, tipping juice, splattering milk. I always needed a towel. And couldn’t it pinch hit too as a trivet, napkin, potholder, white flag of surrender?
I’d mop it up, wipe it down, pass it over, just feebly wave. Nearly a decade and a half and half a dozen kids and it’s the exception to our crazy normal to get through a meal without the dumping of the something. And instinctively they reach for me, for it hanging there. It happily works.
But we spill worse.
One morning, I’m buttering toast and they spill soul entrails, again, and I’m left flailing, again. One child mocks and another wails so older child metes out vigilante justice and alliances are formed and betrayed and tensions rocket and any instructive words on my part seem to tip them all more and consequences imparted slop more mess and soon the room tilts and a tsunami wall of rising, ugly pain threatens to deluge our humble abode and sweep all away. Now would seem a good time to throw up arms, wave a feeble dishtowel defeat. What else can a mother do when it all falls apart?
Soak it up. God shoots back an answer to my rhetorical question and I’m rung.
Absorb pain with love. Mop up hurt with embrace. Throw down self and wipe it all up.
It’s what God Himself did with our oil slick of sin, soaking up our crude with His seamless garment, staining His cloth with life laid down. Because, truthfully, there are no other useful options. The only tool you have to contain a toxic sin spill is the only one God had: an absorbent heart.
So I do it. I grab the angriest, messiest heart and hold it close. A wonder! Every single time you can feel it right through you, that potency of touch. It’s how Jesus healed the leper, the blind men, the deaf and dumb man, the mother-in-law of Peter. He absorbed the sin with a lingering, intentional touch. And still today, for all our progressive sophistication, we have no absorbent material that can surpass it, in all its simplicity and limitless availability. Nothing sponges up leaking, sin-oozing skin like another skin gathering you up, holding you long. Touch still cleans; the pressed closeness of a hug still heals.
When our day rips open, hemorrhages, we have the same option, and the only helpful one, as God had. We can wrap our arms around the bleeding one, lay ourselves over the spill and soak it up. It feels good just to hug.
Love alone covers, sops up, a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
Like the God who “taking a towel, tied it around his waist” (John 13:4 ESV), knelt down to clean up his disciples messiness with tender touch; who wiped them dry with love and “the towel with which He was girded” (John 13:5 NKJ).
Love rags absorb pain in arms open wide, and she becomes it and it becomes her, this towel which girds a mother’s days.
©2009, Ann Voskamp
Oh, how I love spring.
How can you not? I don’t care where you live, spring looks like the earth yawning and stretching its arms. It smells like hope, and new beginnings, and the promise of soon-to-be-cut grass. It tastes like a long-awaited picnic. It feels like bright yellow fluff. It sounds like the peep of two-legged babies.
That’s what’s filling my ears right now … the sound of chicks trying out their teeny vocal chords. Yesterday was “chick day” at the local co-op. Dave and I trotted down there and picked up a half-dozen Golden Sex Link chicks. Supposedly, they’ve been bred to only produce females, but I don’t quite follow the logic (or feasibility) of that. All I know is that they’re adorable … and very noisy.
We tried hooking them up with an adoptive Banty mother but the two hens we tried didn’t cooperate much. Both ignored the chicks huddling in one back corner of Larry’s outgrown dog carrier and tried to beat their way out by flying repeatedly into the wire mesh. We took pity and let each go, but that left the dilemma of how to keep those six chicks alive through the night. The only reasonable thing to do was to invite them up to the house.
When we first brought them inside, they shivered together in that same back corner. I reached in to snap a close-up of the noisy brood, but as soon as I came at them with that camera, they turned and gave me the cold shoulder. Dave’s crafty, though. He rigged up a 100-watt bulb and shone it down on the front half of the wood chips. In two seconds flat, those chicks had tippy-toed their collective mass over to the lit side, where they basked in 100-watt delight.
There’s a lesson there. We’re good together, we humans. Scrunched up tight, we might even eke out a bit of shared body heat. But there’s nothing like gathering together under the Light. His warmth is far better. His warmth goes straight to the bones, perks us up, and makes all our fluff stand on end.
©2009, Shannon Woodward
In my endeavor to live life more fully, I’m always evaluating things I want to incorporate into my life and what things I DON’T want. I want to have a beautiful and organized home, but there are other things in life that are important to me too. I want my home to be in order so I am free to nurture relationships and enjoy living, but I don’t want to be a slave to my housekeeping routines.
So, how do I balance it all? I keep it simple.
When I was a younger mom, I was forever making up lists and methods to keep track of everything from organization to daily routines. The problem was, once I would get the systems all set up, I would fail miserably at using them. I had made housekeeping more complicated than it needed to be. I felt like I was always behind and my house seemed on the verge of chaos.
Over the years I’ve found four basic housekeeping routines that work for me, and I’m sticking to them. I can add other things, of course, but these are the tried and true basics.
1. Morning routines. I have found that having a regular morning routine works best for me. This involves at the very least: some quiet time, making the bed, taking a shower, putting on very simple makeup and getting dressed right down to my shoes. I always toss in a load of laundry as I am getting dressed. I find if I start out the day with those few things, I am ready for anything.
2. Clean sinks. I learned the Flylady system back when my son was born. I was taking care of him and my two grade school girls and during the day I was watching my nephew who was born five weeks before my son. All that and working part-time! With four kids taking over my tiny house, I ran into frustration over having too much to handle. Flylady to the rescue! She broke it down for me and I listened: clean and shiny sinks, always. I follow this principle both in our bathrooms and the kitchen. Something about striving for that shiny sink keeps me from letting dirty dishes pile up.
3. Cleaning frenzies. Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband and I have utilized what we call “cleaning frenzies” to give our home a quick clean up. A cleaning frenzy might last ten minutes or even up to a half hour. But everyone participates, including the kids. We run around picking things up, putting things back, and generally tidying things up. Sometimes we focus on one room; sometimes it is an entire house frenzy. It works like a charm to make a big impact in a short period of time. Even one “10-minute cleaning frenzy” a day keeps the frustration away.
4. Nightly kitchen clean up. Every night, almost without fail, we clean the kitchen. We put away dishes, load the final dishwasher load of the day, wipe off counters, and polish up the sink. There is nothing like waking up to a clean kitchen to make your day feel less overwhelming.
If I have my basic routines down, my home stays “clean enough” most of the time. Keeping up on things means I rarely feel overwhelmed by all that needs to be done! When my home is maintained on a daily basis, it is really easy to add in a few extra tasks now and then to really shine things up or get things organized.
But if I let my daily routines go, my house soon spirals out of control. My house isn’t perfect by any means, but I am OK with that. I’m sticking to my tried and true basics. No more complicated chore charts for me!
I can do everything through him that gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13 NIV
©2009,Melissa Michaels
This month I have a delicious recipe for spicy italian meatballs that I’m dying to share with you. It’s the secret recipe of our own editor Darlene Schacht. And since she gave it to me in confidence, let’s keep this post our little secret, shall we?
This recipe freezes well which makes it a great choice if you’re cooking ahead. Getting together with others to do batch cooking can be a form of fellowship and a start in stewardship, which is a topic that’s been on my heart this month along with this verse:
“You were loyal with small things, I will let you care for…greater things.” (Matthew 25:23)
There is a lot of financial uncertainty in our world today. Many have lost income or are concerned about that probability. Walking through the mall you see store after store closing down. We are in a recession affecting the entire world.
There are many biblical examples of being wise stewards of God’s provision during difficult times. Joseph was warned of the great famine which hit not just Egypt, but also its neighbors. Rather than enjoy the 7 years of plenty, he stored grain for the lean years.
Tough times in our life can help us recognize whether we are being wise stewards with His provision.
Our food budget is often the largest household expense next to shelter. It is an area that offers great flexibility in the expense category. A family of four can feast on $200.00 or $2,000.00 a month – depending on who is in control of the budget.
I remember the “year of the potato.” Our family couldn’t purchase a home because there was never extra money to put away. My parents recognized that a large amount of money was spent on feeding the eight of us, and so they bought a few hundred pounds of potatoes and my mom got imaginative.
That winter I learned that there were more ways to cook a potato than I could dream of. The following winter I was sleeping in a home that my parents had purchased.
Saving on the food budget isn’t just done inside the kitchen. Just look around at how much fast food and eating out we do. While these are definitely blessings to be enjoyed, are they standing in the way of being wise stewards? Do we remember to count the cost?
“When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.” –Deuteronomy 8:10‑18
The Lord entrusts us with a limited amount of resources which are not intended to be used on ourselves.
In hard times we are reminded to be good stewards – often out of need. In good times we may forget to be wise stewards – out of neglect.
The greatest reason most busy moms order-in, instead of cooking is because of time restraints. Too much to do and never enough time to do it. A little planning, a little working ahead and a little batch cooking can save a household a lot on its food budget.
Whether times are tough or times are great we are all called to be wise stewards. If God is allowing you to struggle right now – be the best steward you can and praise Him through the storm. If God is blessing you abundantly right now – be the best steward you can and start sharing your excess with those around you.
And speaking of sharing–here’s that “secret” recipe I told you about. Enjoy!
Spicy Italian Meatballs
(Large Batch)
Bake 350°F 25 – 30 min.
Ingredients:
4 lbs. ground beef
4 medium eggs
¼ cup Italian salad dressing
4 small cans tomato past
2 packs dry onion soup
2 cups crushed “Vegetable Thin” crackers
Procedure:
Mix ingredients together and form into meatballs. Bake on a cookie sheet. Cooking time depends on size of meatballs. (Aprox. 25-30 min.)
Freeze meatballs in freezer bags. Heat in your favorite marinara sauce. Serve with whole wheat spaghetti or your favorite pasta.
©2009, Bonnie Hooley
Sometimes I wonder if men and women
really suit each other.
Perhaps they should live next door and just visit
now and then.
–Katherine Hepburn
Do you ever find yourself burning with questions that have no answers? Such as:
And, most importantly:
God did create us different—for a reason. In his book Bringing up Boys, Dr. James Dobson says that men “value change, opportunity, risk, speculation and adventure” while a woman’s temperament “lends itself to nurturance, caring, sensitivity, tenderness, and compassion.”
I think life would be pretty strange, and downright sad, if both sexes were alike. Imagine if your husband were like your best girlfriend, only when he borrowed your clothes they came back all stretched out!
But how do we survive daily living with other human beings (namely, men) who sometimes seem out to get us? As one of my favorite t-shirts says, “This marriage [or family] was made in heaven—but so was thunder and lightning!”
One thing I’ve learned is to look for ways I’m similar to the boys in my life, and build upon those. As I’ve pondered those things that drew my hubby and I together when we were dating (shared talents, values, and a love of enormous amounts of popcorn consumed while viewing old Andy Griffith reruns), I’ve tried to rekindle those “sparks” as often as possible.
And though I don’t enjoy some of things my sons do, I try to stop what I’m doing and enthusiastically partake in their passions when they ask me to. It’s an honor to be asked, and I know it won’t happen forever!
I also firmly believe we should affirm men in their uniqueness. Our high-speed, high-achievement culture puts enormous pressure on their shoulders, and criticism only adds to the load. A hug or a kiss can be just the ticket to letting them know we appreciate them.
I’m blessed to have a husband who shares my faith and my values. He’s also wonderfully romantic and faithfully supports my own dreams and goals. My sons are affectionate, creative, smart and hilarious. I could go on, but you get the idea. Now, if I can just say these things out loud once in a while, I’ll be on the right track.
So now I have a few more questions:
And, most importantly:
©2009, Dena Dyer
In March we begin work that will yield something great in just a few quick months!
It’s about delicious food being grown with our own hands – which we will be sharing with others.
The increasing number of gardeners in the United States stands for something. It says that people are interested in organic. People are tired of paying the prices and they want to know where their produce is coming from! The lost art of gardening is returning! I can also tell by the number of emails and comments from people who are inquiring, that more and more people are growing gardens again, but they want help with the basics.
Dear Sandy…
This is the year I’ve decided to get into gardening. I want to use homegrown produce while I’m entertaining, but the costs are so high! What are some general tips that you could give me?
This is the month in which gardeners start itching to get out into their yards. And for my husband and me, it all boils down to 3 simple key points that can make or break our attempts! But before I share the simplicity of these three, keep these points in mind, if you are a new gardener.
Write out a very simple garden plan for the year!
Where do you want your beds, what existing beds do you plan on changing over to vegetables, how much money can you spend? What would you like to serve to your guests? Start small – only pick a few items to grow the first year!
How do I know what kind of vegetables to grow?
Decide what vegetables you think taste better homegrown than store-bought. What can save you money, or come close to saving you money by growing rather than buying? For example, I do not think it’s worth the time and money to grow garlic or onions!
Start with produce that is very easy to grow – like zucchini, tomatoes, strawberries or green beans. If you’re new to gardening, don’t grow corn! Unless you have a huge garden space, you can probably buy corn pretty inexpensively at the local grower’s market! Two foods that grow well in containers are tomatoes and strawberries, if you do not have a yard or much space for a garden.
Buy starts!
Unless you are a seasoned gardener, or you have a greenhouse and can daily take care of the plants, you won’t want to mess with seeds. Buy starts and keep it simple! You want to have success!
3 simple key points:
Water, sunshine and the soil are the 3 key components to a successful garden.
Water
Watering has to be either very frequent or very deep. But we all know that water is essential. Many people are enthusiastic in the beginning of gardening season, and then they start traveling or get busy with summer plans, and the garden gets “2nd” attention. If you plan to leave town – hire your neighbor kid to water!
Don’t worry about a drip system if you’re just starting out. Grab a hose, a timer and an inexpensive sprinkler and you’re in business. Water 10 minutes in the morning, and in the hottest weather you’ll want to water twice (again in the evening). Keep the water flowing!
Even more important, mulch helps keep the process simple! It reduces the amount of weeds in the beds and helps retain the water. Mulch with partially decomposed straw, shredded bark, or newspaper (you don’t want to use straight straw, because it will sprout).
Sunshine
Surprisingly, a lot of vegetables don’t need as much as you think. For example, regardless of what you have read, zucchini doesn’t need a lot of sunshine. If you want to grow the largest zucchini in your state, well, then yes! Pour on the sunshine! But to grow the kind of zucchini that we like, which is the smaller, under grown type (which we think tastes the best), you don’t have to have full-time sun!
Soil
Soil is the most important aspect of gardening that you have control over. Depending on the zone you live in, soil can vary widely. We call our southern Oregon clay soil “gumbo,” and it’s very hard to amend. There are 2 simple methods. Bring in new soil, or use what you have and amend the existing soil with compost, where you amend every time you plant.
The better your soil – the more likely you will succeed
We are enthusiastic about gardening not only for the organic veggies that we produce, but for the benefits that come from sharing, inviting, eating and connecting with friends – many times centered on a meal with many of the entrees produced from our garden!
In this increasingly virtual world, many of us city-folk are getting back into gardening. The earthy, authentic approach that I have shared is literally a connection that many do now realize. Beds that were once flowers are now being converted over to vegetables. It’s a beautiful thing – I think God would be pleased!
We grow and produce. We invite and we share. We eat and we commune. It’s as simple as that. A garden pot on your back patio or a garden space in your back yard – there’s just something about sharing the results with friends over a cozy meal.
Feel free to Ask Sandy … on her blog, www.reluctantentertainer.com, where you’ll find more about this subject and other entertaining dilemmas.
©2009, Sandy Coughlin
“Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
Be merciful to me and hear my prayer.”
Lord, you saw that list of layoffs my company is talking about. I don’t know what the future holds and I am worried about what that could mean for my family. I know that we should have had some savings built up for times like these… but we just never did. Lord, help me to make changes in the future so I am not faced with this situation ever again.
“How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame? How long will you love delusions and seek false gods? Know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord will hear when I call to him.”
Lord, I admit that I once sought the false god of money. I looked to it as a means of security, identity, and status. As I have watched my financial house crumble in these tough times, I know now that I was foolish. I know that I should have placed my trust in You and You alone. Thank You for not giving up on me and for still listening when I call to You. It is a great comfort to know that You are sovereign and that Your promises will stand.
“In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord.”
Lord, when all the dreary financial forecasts first started coming in, I admit it: I was angry. I wanted to blame someone—anyone—even You, Lord. I wanted to shake my fist and say, “How could You let this happen?” And yet, deep down I knew that this situation grieves you. That you wanted us to make smart financial choices but we just… didn’t. I know now that I need to live differently than I have been all these years. I want to start tithing regularly and trust You fully with my finances.
“Many are asking, ‘Who can show us any good?’ Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord. You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”
Lord, everyone around me keeps talking like our country is going to collapse. And yet, I know that no matter what, You will take care of me and my family. Instead of wringing my hands and pacing the floor, I am going to turn over my worries about the economy to You. I am going to lay my burdens in Your hands and rest peacefully. Through You I can still have joy no matter how tough things get. Because Your joy outlasts anything money can buy.
(Passages quoted from Psalm 4, New International Version)
©2009,Marybeth Whalen
As we enter the month of March thoughts of spring begin to dance in our head. We begin to see green everywhere as we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, but many of us are longing for the green grass and green trees. I promise it is right around the corner!
While waiting for spring let me suggest some wonderful books to read. If you are looking for a book to help prepare your heart for Easter may I suggest Nancy Guthrie’s Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross? Nancy’s book is sure to become a favorite to read every Easter.
Fireflies in December is a heartwarming story with a message. This was Jennifer Erin Valent’s first book and it has already won a Christian Writers Guild award.
And if you, like me, enjoy studying eschatology, then you will enjoy reading Mark Hitchcock’s new book The Late Great United States. Mark, an authority on Bible prophecy, attempts to answer what role the United States will play during end times along with many more questions.
Finally, if you are raising a boy or know someone who is, Wild Things, the Art of Nurturing Boys by Stephen James and David Thomas is a book you do not want to pass up.
I will leave you with this Irish blessing in honor of St. Patrick’s Day.
May God give you…
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
(author unknown)
Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross
By Nancy Guthrie
January 2009
Crossway
148 pages
This book will become a classic, one you will turn to again and again. Nancy Guthrie has compiled a collection of writings from various authors like John Piper, Timothy Keller, John Own, C.J. Mahaney, Charles Spurgeon and many more. Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross leads the reader to experience Christ’s passion and sacrifice.
As Christians Nancy Guthrie states we need to “truly gaze upon the cross of Christ in all of its ugliness and beauty, in its death and in its healing, in the painful price paid there and in its free gift of grace.” Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross is the perfect book to read before Easter.
Each passage is approximately 3 pages long, making it a perfect addition to your quiet time.
Fireflies in December
By Jennifer Erin Valent
January 2009
Tyndale House Publishers
276 pages
Would you stand up for what is right even if it meant the safety of your own family? That is what Sadie and Harley Lassiter did in 1932 when they adopted an African American girl who lost her parents. Jessilyn and Gemma were best friends growing up, now they are sisters. Jessilyn’s father had vowed to Gemma’s parents to look after her if anything ever happened to them. Harley cared for Gemma as one of his own despite the prejudice that prevailed in their little Virginia town.
Ku Klux Klan members unite to make life difficult for the Lassiter family. Sadie Lassiter lost all her friends, Harley’s business suffered and to make matters worse one member of the Ku Klux Klan has made it his personal mission to harm Jessilyn. Through this one summer, Jessilyn leaves her childhood behind only to find hatred and violence. Even in the midst of darkness God displays kindness in unexpected ways.
Fireflies in December is the 2007 winner of the Christian Writers Guild’s Operation First Novel contest. This book challenges readers to look at their own prejudices whether it is black, white, rich, poor, male or female. I found this book difficult to put down and it stayed in my heart well after reading the last page. I look forward to more from Jennifer Erin Valent.
The Late Great United States: What Bible Prophecy Reveals About America’s Last Days
By Mark Hitchcock
January 2009
Waterbrook Multnomah
174 pages
Wars, terrorist bombings, and depressed economy leave many Christians asking if these are all signs of the latter days. But one of the most asked question author Mark Hitchcock is asked is, “Where do you think America fits into biblical prophecy?”
Mark Hitchcock, an authority on Bible prophecy who has appeared on MSNBC, Fox News, and CNN, tries to answer that burning question along with many more. Is America mentioned in prophecy? What is America’s Achilles heel? What happens when God abandons a nation?
This book is short in pages but packed in content. Hitchcock believes that the USA will not play a prominent role in the end times and lays out his biblical reason why. He also includes an appendix A with a series of questions and answers that many us ask. I personally enjoyed reading this book and Mark Hitchcock does a beautiful job in explaining things in laymen’s terms. I recommend this book if you enjoy biblical prophecy.
Wild Things the Art of Nurturing Boys
By Stephen James and David Thomas
January 2009
Tyndale
298 pages
As a mother to all boys, you can imagine I have read my share of books on raising boys. If there was ever a manual in raising boys, this is it! Stephen James and David Thomas understand what it takes to develop a boy into manhood.
In Wild Things they guide readers through the five stages of a boy’s development, detailing each stage, along with new principles to put into action. They also cover topics in how parents should discuss sex, homosexuality, and pornography with their boys. Stephen James and David Thomas lay out the three most important factors in keeping a boy from experimenting with drugs, along with the role of a father and the role of a mother in raising them to become a man.
If you are raising a boy or know someone that is, I highly recommend his book. Even though my boys are high school age, I still use it for reference.
©2009, Lori Kasbeer
Lori ’s personal blog can be found at Lori’s Reflections and additional book reviews at Lori’s Book Reviews – where there is a chance to win free books each month!
Recently I visited St. Augustine, Florida with my family and we found the Fountain of youth! Well actually Ponce De Leon did… however it was fun to experience the historical park and drink from the fountain (no, I did not come out looking 20 again).
Even though I did not gain youthful years back from a legendary fountain–you can achieve a youthful glow by following these beauty & health tips. Plus you will see results within 24 hours!
20 Ways to Look Younger Tomorrow:
Visit www.dreamessentials.com to find out more.
When all else fails, live by what the wise Man said in Matthew 6:34, You’ve got enough problems for today, so don’t worry about tomorrow. Or as we Italians like to say, “Fuggettabout it!
Excerpted from Beauty by God by Shelly Ballestero (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 2008). Copyright Shelly Ballestero. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Hope. March is the perfect time to reflect on hope. Soon we’ll see visual signs of new life in the spring flowers and new tendrils of grass peeking up out of the brown frozen ground. We hear of God’s promise of eternal life through the sacrifice and death of His only son, Jesus Christ. Without hope for this eternal life, which is perfectly symbolized by the new life which surrounds us in spring, our lives would have no meaning.
As Basil C. Hume spoke of Christian hope when he said that it, “makes us have that confidence in God, in His ultimate triumph, and in His goodness and love, which nothing can shake.”
There may be times in our lives when we are filled with loss, despair, anger, depression, or suffering. This past year has been, by far, the most difficult year of my life. The loss of my daughter – not through her physical death but through her physical and emotional distance from me – has caused much anguish. There were times when I wondered why I had to suffer so much, but I was always gently reminded of Jesus’ suffering for me and for my sins, so I offered up my suffering to blend in with His. There were times when my despair turned into a deep and wrenching anguish, and somehow, God reached out to me to comfort me in the form of a phone call or email from a friend, or a gentle hug from my husband, or an “I love you” from my youngest daughter. At times, I blamed myself for the situation; and at other times, I was so scared about what the future might hold for my daughter’s life and for our relationship. Will she ever come back to us and to her faith? Will she get sick again? Will she be safe? Will her rebellion and anger melt and change into gratitude and respect? The effect of this guilt and anxiety on my soul diminished my ability to cling on to that hope, that trust, in God.
Then, I stumbled upon a quote by Warren W. Wiersbe, “Most Christians are being crucified on a cross between two thieves: Yesterday’s regret and tomorrow’s worries.” I decided that I needed to let go of the burden of regret and worry, and place it all in God’s capable hands. I almost allowed my anguish to crush my hope that things were truly in God’s control, and that He is working His “magic” on my oldest without me knowing what His plans are for her. All that I have to do is trust in His wisdom and His love. My cross is lighter now, knowing that God is helping me to carry it.
I remind myself of how many times I have stumbled and fallen. How many times I have had to ask God (and others) for forgiveness. Jesus died to give me everlasting life. “The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances,” said Robert Flatt.
I remind myself how many times I have had to start over. And I need to remind myself that my daughter, too, will stumble and fall and start all over again–just like me. She will seek God’s forgiveness (and others)–just like me. And she, too, will be reminded that Jesus died to give her everlasting life. That is my hope. That is my belief.
“FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH, BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE.” –JOHN 3:16
©2009, Valerie Wolff
Let’s face it, dear Boomer Babes, not all adult children are dysfunctional, any more than all parents are enablers. Many adult children have been raised to have deep respect for their parents and themselves. For these children, the thought of taking advantage of anyone, let alone the parents who raised them, is abhorrent. Let’s call these children functioning adult children.
However, for many of us, that term does not describe our adult children. Instead, we “parents in pain” dream about seeing our adult children live as independent, functioning adults instead of the dependent, dysfunctional adult children they have become. And no doubt many enabling parents would argue that their adult children are incapable of taking care of themselves. That may be true. However, is this because of a real physical handicap, a viable developmental disability, or have years of enabling crippled your adult child? And if crippled, is this disability temporary or permanent? If temporary, what can we parents do to help reverse the disability and see our adult children take responsibility for themselves?
The first step is for us to accept any part we may have played in making our adult children whom—and what—they’ve become. We also need a better understanding of the difference between helping and enabling, and the wisdom and willingness to make the necessary changes in our own lives when at last we truly recognize the difference.
What Is the Difference Between Helping and Enabling?
Helping is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself.
Enabling is doing for someone things that he could and should be doing himself.
An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to persist with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.
When we continue to allow these behaviors to occur, we are setting a pattern of behavior in our children that will be hard to change. We are enabling their repeated inappropriate behavior. Then we repeat the enabling pattern with the result of instilling bad habits and accepting what should be unacceptable behavior for so many years that it eventually becomes as natural to many of us as breathing. Yet all the while, a nagging feeling deep in our heart and soul tells us something is very wrong.
Are You an Enabling Parent?
Here are a few questions that might help you determine if you are an enabling parent.
If you answered yes to several of these questions, chances are at some point in time you have enabled your adult child to avoid his own responsibilities—to escape the consequences of his actions. Rather than help your child grow into a productive and responsible adult, you have made it easier for him to get worse.
To put it simply, your helping is hurting—and it’s time to stop. Although it’s high time many of our adult children begin to accept the consequences of their choices, the plain truth is we must first accept the responsibility for our own choices—past, present, and future. We must stop doing what we’ve been doing.
Our biggest problem isn’t about our adult child’s inability to wake up when their alarm clock rings, or their inability to keep a schedule, or their inability to hold down a job or pay their bills. It’s not about their drug use or alcohol addictions. It’s not about the mess they’re making of their life. The main problem is about the part we’re playing in stepping in to soften the blow of the consequences that come from the choices they make.
The main problem is us.
Ending Enabling Behavior
From my experience, I’ve come to learn four life-saving truths about changing enabling behavior.
However, it’s going to take time—dear Boomer Babes. We didn’t get this way overnight—but we can change. We can learn the difference between helping and enabling.
If you’re a hurting parent who dearly loves your adult child but longs to see him at last take responsibility for his life, please take a moment to watch the video “When Helping Hurts” (Episode 6) on the audio/video page of my web site. It could save your sanity—and maybe even your adult child’s life.
Video clip at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B514OfAUQ1g
http://www.settingboundaries.com/audio-and-video/
Until next month, dear Boomer Babes who Rock, may the good Lord bless and keep you all!
Allison Bottke
www.SettingBoundaries.com
www.BoomerBabesRock.com
Have you ever caught yourself staring at someone else?
I know what it is like to see someone in church or somewhere else and take notice of a feature that isn’t characteristic of the average person. I tend to assume they have special needs or were involved in some sort of accident. In each instance it’s strange but my mind automatically begins to wander.
Did I mention that I am still staring as I process these thoughts? I glance around and notice that others are staring as well. Then the unthinkable happens. I’m discovered.
Do I turn my head and pretend I wasn’t staring? Do I wait until they are no longer looking so I can point them out to someone else and ask their opinion? Or, do I smile at them and wave? Perhaps even go over to greet them during the break.
I can tell you from experience that the latter is the best choice. The only thing worse than discovering that someone is staring at you or your child and them pretending that they weren’t is to find that they are also pointing out the differences to someone else. But, it is understood that curiosity is part of human nature so what are we supposed to do?
Simply don’t hide it. Become uncurious.
Those who are different or are the parents of children who are different are fully aware of it. They know that you are curious. For most, it really is okay that you are inquisitive. We know that people are interested in things that they are not familiar with. We can remedy that by becoming familiar or becoming educated about it. Dare I suggest that you walk over and introduce yourself? Bring your children too. The earlier they are exposed to the vast array of differences among people the easier it will be for them to understand and find compassion and friendship.
My son has a form of dwarfism. With his specific type, one of the characteristics is little or no hair. This has led to some stares and of course, a few people thinking he may have a form of cancer. I’m aware of this but I don’t make it a point to explain this to everyone simply for lack of time and energy on my part. However, on many occasions I have been approached by wonderful people who have come up with witty ways to approach me and my son and still quench their curiosity. I’d like to share them with you:
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. –John 8:32
I was in no way offended by any of these people or their words. In fact, it spoke volumes to me about humanity. We were all set free from an uncomfortable situation. I have in turn begun to do similar things when I become curious about someone else. Not once have I ever been shunned or turned away. Most people would prefer to share their story than for someone else to assume and never ask for the truth. I don’t want someone praying for my son’s cancer to be healed if that isn’t what he has. Likewise, I won’t be praying for the burns on that man’s face which actually turned out to be skin grafts because he was wounded by shrapnel in Afghanistan. I also won’t call Carrie a poor baby anymore now that I know how blessed her family feels to have her and just how happy and innocent she truly is. And Alex, he actually has no condition. It turns out he was wearing his cousins leg braces because he wanted to be a robot.
More often than not, I have found that people are interested out of a genuine concern for the other person. That is always welcome.
©2009, Amy Bayliss
_________________
Married to her best friend and “main squeeze,” Amy Bayliss is a 4th year homeschooling, co-educating mom to three boys who loves to celebrate life to the fullest and she enjoys writing about the pearls of wisdom God delivers to her soul.
Amy is the co-owner of Heart of the Matter Online and Internet Cafe Devotions. You can also visit her at her website: In Pursuit of Proverbs 31 and her personal blog: AmyBayliss.com.
Listen in as Jill chats with author Nancy Moser about the Sister Circle Handbook, a great devotional companion to the four Sister Circle novels. The goal of this interactive book is for every woman to develop her spiritual life, nourish sisterhood, and find joy in sharing her faith. Both new and seasoned believers will be enriched by diving into the to-dos, how-tos, and good news about being a sister in Christ!
Nancy Moser is the author of three inspirational humor books and eighteen novels, including Solemnly Swear, Time Lottery, a Christy Award winner, and her latest historical, Washington’s Lady.
Nancy and her husband Mark live in the Midwest. She’s earned a degree in architecture, traveled extensively in Europe, and has performed in numerous theaters, symphonies, and choirs. She gives Said So Sister Seminars around the country, helping women identify their gifts as they celebrate their sisterhood. She is a fan of anything antique—humans included.
©2009, Jill Hart
Each month CWO chooses one blogger from our list of over 4,000 women to be CWO’s blog of the month.
This month’s pick is Sarah from God’s Not Finished With Us Yet
Sarah describes her walk with the Lord by saying, “After walking along side the Lord as friends for approx. 3 years, Jesse and I were later married almost 6 years ago on June 7, 2003. While Jesse was raised in a Christ-centered home, I came from a broken home w/o understanding the FULL love of God. Through my doubt and billions of questions I finally surrendered to Him 200%! Much later, when the time was right, God brought Jesse and I together to be used for His glory. Today we have 1 gorgeous 5 yr. old daughter, and 1 handsome 3 yr. old son.”
Visit Sarah at her blog:
“A Woman Inspired” is about taking your foundation and building upon it according to God’s design. We’re not all the same; each of us are created uniquely with differing talents as God would have us to be.
A Woman Inspired by God’s Word and His design for her life is unstoppable in her pursuit of His destiny for her!
Join in on the “A Woman Inspired” Online Conference April 6th-9th, and let the principles you glean bring you closer to that design.
Tickets to attend the conference are only $24.95, which gets you access to the 4 day live conference as well as to any available downloads.
Want to win a ticket?
Great, because we have 10 to give away!!
To enter, leave a comment below. We will randomly draw 10 names on March 15th, and announce the winners names here! Have fun!
