Debt-Proof Living:
The Complete Guide to Living Financially Free
(DPL Press, 2005)
By Mary Hunt

Every time I check my mail, I get at least half a dozen credit card offers. Buy now, pay later, right? Do you ever go to Target or shop E-Bay and buy products that are just irresistible, but you don’t really need? It’s hard to stay out of debt in our modern-day culture, but Mary Hunt has some divine solutions for us all.

She writes, “We need the courage to understand that money is not for spending. It is for managing first and then for spending. We need to see money not as power or prestige but as protection–God’s provision for our physical and material needs.”

If you’re living from paycheck to paycheck, which Hunt calls “The Edge,” take heart. This book will offer you a refreshing view of how to manage your money, debt-proof your attitude, and build wealth on an ordinary income. No more wondering, worrying, or whining; the answers to your financial woes are within these pages.

Cheapskate Monthly

This review was written by Heather Ivester. To read the latest news on other books in the Christian market, view
Heather’s monthly column–Book Buzz

When I recently discovered “good girl” Kerri Pomarolli, I couldn’t help but be drawn in by the undeniable charisma that she holds. Not only is Kerri adorable, she’s a talented actress, author, and comedian. She’s the kind of woman you Photoshop on PMS days just to get even, and I would–but a) I’m over my PMS, and b) I like this woman too much!

Kerri is gifted with a knack for wit. She uses this gift to entertain, but she also uses her gift to minister to women with laughter, prayer and inspiration.

After moving to LA to pursue her dreams, Kerri was met with success, but despite the newfound fame, she hungered for something deeper—a closer relationship with God.

It was evident to Kerri that God heard the cry of her heart, when the very next day things started to change. She got involved in a ministry called “Act of Faith,” and through that was soon led to stand up comedy. Kerri says, “Not only did He want me to talk about HIM, He wanted me to do it in Hollywood where He wasn’t getting much stage time. I said YES and everything took off from there. It’s been my honor and passion to go out, talk about HIM and what He’s doing in my life, to people from all walks of life—and I’m loving every minute of it.”

We’re loving every minute of it too! One stop at Kerri’s website, shows us just what an inspiration she is—testimony after testimony reveals the heart behind the humor.

Kerri has a new book recently published through Zondervan, entitled ““If I’m Waiting on God Then What Am I Doing in a Christian Chatroom?” It’s a great read for single women who are still in search of Mr. Right, and it offers a laugh for us married women who remember those days only too well.

Kerri’s also a contributing writer in Flint Wainess’ new book “It’s Not Me It’s You.” She’s just signed a book deal to collaborate with author Matthew Paul Turner on an upcoming book, and is part of a new book “Relevant Nation 50 Revolutionaries Under 40″ due out Fall 2006 to be published by Relevant Press.

If that doesn’t keep her busy enough, Kerri’s television credits include over 27 appearances on The Tonight Show, Comedy Central, and Lifetime Network. She has been a popular guest on many TV shows on ABC, FOX, TBN, CBN, The Total Living Network, ABC Family Network and many others. She’s appeared on radio, newspapers, and magazines, and writes a bimonthly advice column for the new national magazine Radiant.

I asked Kerri , “What do you consider as your first big break?”

“I could say my first big break was when I moved to LA and got on the “Price is Right” and bid $1500 for a $300 dishwasher and got booed by the audience. Then Bob laughed at me so it was my first “TV Laugh,” but then again I might have to say it was my first appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

I had auditioned for the casting director and on Thanksgiving Day 1999 he called and asked me to do a skit. My grandmother was on her death bed literally in Florida from a long battle with Alzheimer’s Disease. They kept saying she was going to pass away and then I would of course have to go to the funeral and not the TV set. But miracles of miracles..she hung on and even had the TV going in the hospital.

I wore her precious ring that was given to me when I was on the show and I knew she somehow was rooting for me even though she’s wasn’t conscious. Shortly after, she went to Heaven and she’s been getting me auditions ever since! Several years later her sweet husband, another love of my life, Eli, my grandpa, went to heaven. Two months later I started dating my husband and one month after he got up there, we captured Saddam Hussein!”

I should have asked if Jay Leno has a separate dressing room for his chin, but I guess I can save that question for next time.

There’s so much more than can be said about the adorable Kerri Pomarolli that isn’t said here, so be sure to visit her website at www.kerripom.com, watch her video clips, and pick up a copy of her book.

I’ll close this piece by giving you a sneak peak at Kerri’s comic strip, based on a character from her book. Enjoy ladies!

Kerri Pomarolli’s Website

Blessings,

Founder and Editor,
Christian Women Online Magazine
Read my column–DysFUNctional

____________________

“I see the moon,
The moon sees me…
The moon sees the one that I want to see
God bless the moon
And God bless me…
And God bless the one that I want to see.”

I remember my mother singing that song to me when I was very young. My grandparents lived in another state, and I’d wonder what they were doing at their house at that very moment.

I’d stand on my bed, pull the curtain aside, and peek out my window at the moon. I clearly remember holding my breath at the beautiful sight, and asking how God could make a light so big and bright. How did it stay up in the sky without falling? Could people everywhere see it, or was it just hanging over my town?

I was not quite three years old, filled with a curiosity so huge and intense, I thought I’d burst if I didn’t get my questions answered. Thankfully, my parents had patience. Lots of it.

Does the moon feel cold?
Where does it go when the sun comes up?
How come it sometimes looks round, but shrinks later on?
Will it ever fall to the ground and hit my roof?

I don’t remember ever questioning the fact that God made that big flashlight in the sky. I sometimes pictured kids in faraway lands, asking the same questions. Did their moms sing them the same song?

“God bless the moon
And God bless me…”

My mother’s matter-of-fact answers planted a simple seed of faith in my young heart, which helped me move from curious questioning to a point where I could relax in my heavenly Father’s care. In time, my barrage of questions gave way to a tender awe. I had the answers I needed. All was well.

God made the moon, and He had everything under control. The moon was a permanent part of the sky. It was not going to hit my roof. When I understood God’s role in the universe, I also settled into the fact that He made me, too. He saw me long before I was born. He knew that my eyes would be brown and my hair curly.

A young child’s faith is so very fragile. Each question is an opportunity for us adults to listen with our hearts as well as our ears. Parents who pay close attention to a child’s curious questions are in store for a precious moment: the birth of awe.

When that day arrives, seize the moment! Scatter seeds and see that they’re watered often. Then step aside and allow the Lord to work.

“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”–Matthew 19:14 (NIV)

©2008, Bonnie Bruno

For more slice-of-life stories, visit Bonnie’s Macromoments blog: http://macromoments.blogspot.com

I love fall! After a summer of keeping kids entertained and feeling hot and sticky in my own house, I look forward to the promise of cooler days and getting back into my routines. I begin to crave some personal time and a more scheduled life. Soon it will be time once again for fun holiday parties and cozy nights by the fire.

September really is a good transitional month between seasons. It is still before the holidays but after the summer of vacations and laziness. It is the perfect month to re-establish household routines and make some creative plans for the holidays.

Creatively celebrating each season can be a great exercise in gratitude for God’s continual provision and blessing throughout the year. Being creative doesn’t have to be complicated or require special talent, but it does involve a little forethought and planning. Now is a great time to gear up for the months ahead.

Here are a few suggestions for making the most of September:

ESTABLISH ORGANIZATIONAL SYSTEMS & ROUTINES
Establishing routines and organization systems can keep priorities in order and help the entire family from becoming overwhelmed once school and fall schedules are in full swing. Setting up basic morning and nighttime routines for each member of the family really helps me to feel a sense of peace and calm even during the busiest weeks. If the basics of life are in order, I find I am much more likely to find time to enjoy celebrating the seasons.

Seasonal tip: In order to be organized for each season, I like to set up a four-tiered shelving unit in a garage or attic for holiday and seasonal decorations. One shelf for fall decorations, one for winter, one for spring and one for summer. I keep a separate space for Christmas boxes. As I find seasonal decorations on sale, I have a place to put them and can easily retrieve them when I am ready. This makes decorating for each season much easier!

START A SEASONAL ORGANIZATION NOTEBOOK
I have great aspirations when it comes to celebrating the seasons. But, once the season actually arrives, I sometimes have a hard time following through with my expectations. Sound familiar? In order to keep the true meaning of the holiday season in focus, I need to get organized in advance for the ideas that are most important to me. Planning ahead is not one of my natural virtues, but it is really worth the effort.

Starting a seasonal/holiday notebook in September can be a great way to jump start organization and zero in on what our priorities will be. Being organized in a notebook can inspire us to try new things and keep on task while helping us weed out unnecessary effort. The key to a successful notebook is to keep it VERY simple – anything complicated or too detailed and we can feel overwhelmed.

As you look through magazines or websites for inspiration, save only the most do-able and realistic ideas in your notebook. Divide the notebook by season or holiday. Clip and save ideas such as: easy table arrangements, menu ideas, family activities and traditions, gifts and simple decorating tips that you might want to use. An organized notebook provides easy access to a few ideas that can make the season memorable.

DEDICATE FOCUSED TIME FOR SEASONAL PREPARATIONS
It is often hard to find time to celebrate the change in seasons. Life can easily get in the way of our best intentions. One way to keep time from getting away from us is to aside the first day of each month as a “seasonal transition day.”

For instance, October 1st is a good day to declare the first day of the cozy season. Bring out blankets, candles, and warm autumn colors. To get your family really in the mood and indulge your senses, bake some pumpkin bread. Get out your calendar and select a day to visit the pumpkin patch, plan a costume if your kids dress up for harvest events, and plan a chili and corn bread night. Do similar routines on the first of each subsequent month. With holidays like Christmas, of course, you need to plan some of the preparations more than a month in advance. But the idea is to set aside a specific time each month to go through your notebook, look at your calendar realistically, and plan days to complete the ideas you are most looking forward to.

Getting back into the routine of life is a great fall ritual. By being organized and planning ahead, we can enjoy celebrating each and every season to the fullest!

Psalm 118:24 This is the day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

For more ideas on seasonal and everyday decorating, I invite you to visit my blog. The Inspired Room.

©2008, Melissa Michaels

Young hands celebrate September with posies of pink erasers budding on the end of slim yellow stems and hours dressed smartly in routines. It’s the rite of back-to-school days:  the folding open of fresh notebooks, the lacing up of maiden shoes, the packing of new lunch bags.

It’s the ceremony of new school days.

We do that, us soul carriers. When we deem events significant, we create ceremony. Marriage ceremonies, baptismal services, holiday observances. yes, too, back-to-school traditions. If we consider an occasion meaningful, we develop a ceremony to duly recognize it.  Simply, ceremony is a repeated action that marks important happenings:  always candles on birthday cakes,
centerpieces for Thanksgiving, vows on wedding days.

And yet, isn’t every day important? Do not all of our acts warrant ceremony?

Each moment God generously bestows is momentous. If we embrace each day as gift, then isn’t each event noteworthy?   And if each moment lived is important, could we not then live in ceremony, celebration wrapped around each bead of time?

God does.  Every day, He acts in ceremony, repeated quotidian order of services: calling sun-orb to arch across skies, ocean waters to wet land’s lip, again and again, the globe to dance in orbit with milky moon through heavens. Our God acts in endless ceremony to bring order to the world. And so we too, made in His image, are ceremonious beings, bringing order to chaos through ceremony.

Whenever parents create ceremonies, or a rhythmic routine, around any daily activity, we impose order on the environment, instead of on our children. The order of service we create around bedtimes, school times, mealtimes allow ceremonies to prescribe behavior instead of each event requiring parental directive.

This atmosphere of known routine, expected ritual and, yes, celebrated ceremony, not only lessens the number of decisions that a parent must make throughout the day (the established ceremony directs, instead of the parent), but children thrive in such an environment. Children “want things repeated and unchanged,” writes G.K. Chesterton. “They always say, “Do it again”. [It is] grown-up people [who] are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is
possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. The repetition in nature may not be mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore.”

When we reject repeated actions as monotonous and Spirit-quenching, are we simply exposing our weaknesses? If we chose to “exult in monotony,” to embrace habitual ceremony, would we be inviting the same God who instituted the observances of feasts, temple ceremonies, the service of communion, to be our strength too? Perhaps the repetitiveness of ceremony does not stifle
the Spirit, but ceremony invites us to regular meeting places, places to commune with the Spirit.

So we meet our days with routines, ceremonies around the simple. Perhaps we tie up breakfast with quiet music, prayer for the day, and a lighting of a candle. Or wrap up school times with a habitual place, a consistent time,
and an anticipated order of service: an opening hymn, a Word of Scripture, a time of happy sharing. Possibly we establish a ceremony of evening circle, with a gathering for the read aloud of a classic while tired feet are
massaged and hot drinks sipped, before tucking children into bed with blessings. The rituals and liturgies are uniquely ours; each family has the privilege to create their own distinctive (fun? unusual? memorable?) ceremonies around regular occurring events.

The institution of a ceremonious life requires daily petitions for God-strength; in the flesh we are too weak.  But the mundane in our lives begs for the Christ-vigor to be made lovely with ceremony. The repetition of our days need not be monotonous, exasperating, recurrences. Couldn’t our
days be a theatrical encore of a beautiful life?

Ceremony changes us: the single become married, the soul emerges baptized, the birthday christens another year. Ceremony offers us the opportunity to change our everydays too. Isn’t it time to celebrate life?

©2008, Ann Voskamp

Parenthood remains the greatest single preserve
of the amateur.
Alvin Toffler

I come from a very competitive family. We’re not super-outdoorsy or athletic, but just try to come between one of us and a piece of fried chicken! At our annual family reunion, we have horseshoe and ping-pong tournaments for kids and adults, complete with poster-board tracking systems and trophies.

And while I’m not in the least bit athletic, I do love to watch the Olympics. From the opening to the closing ceremonies, I’m glued to the television. (I guess my hubby is an “Olympics widower.” Poor guy!)

So I got to thinking: if this parenting thing were an Olympic sport, perhaps I could be a medallist—or at least a contender. See if you can identify with some of these sports my friends and I practice:

• Weightlifting – Sure, those big guys in spandex can bench press twice their body weight, but can they carry a thirty-pound toddler, a purse full of the latest Happy Meal toys, and a bag of half-melted groceries?
• High jump – My buddies have hit the ceiling so many times after their teenager came home an hour past curfew that they’ve started wearing bicycle helmets while waiting on the sofa.
• Long jump – There may not be a regulation long jump course in my living room, but I can cover the distance from the couch to the television in less than a second in order to shield my son’s eyes from a suggestive commercial.
• Curling – This event doesn’t involve a broom and a funny-looking puck, but does require you to raise your upper lip at the gross dinner conversation your teenage son is having with his father. Extra points are awarded for not making gagging sounds.
• Hurdles – Any parent is a pro at this. It comes from years of experience going to the bathroom in the middle of the night without stepping on clothes, backpacks, or small living creatures.
• Balance beam – I may not be able to do a back flip on a four-inch piece of wood, but I’d like to see any Olympian juggle kids’ practices, church obligations, work, marriage and family demands without getting dizzy and taking a dive.

While parenting is not actually a competitive sport, we moms are champions at comparing ourselves to others, and measuring our kids against impossible standards. We want our children to be as fast as Michael Phelps, as photogenic as Shawn Johnson, and as focused as Nastia Liukin. Unfortunately, that usually doesn’t happen–and we feel like the competitor who just missed the bronze medal.

Before I became a mom, I read all the “right” parenting books, attended classes, and decided that I would never spank, yell, criticize, or use television as a babysitter. I thought I was being realistic: after all, I didn’t say that I would nurse for two years, use cloth diapers, or sew my son’s clothing out of recycled draperies.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting the best for my family. But I need to remember that I’m human, and my children are, too.  I’m the queen of unrealistic expectations–I have the crown and sceptor in my closet to prove it–which only sets me up for disappointment.
So I’m slowly learning to let go of my unattainable goals and simply enjoy the sons God has given me. If I can eventually achieve that sense of contentment, it will be worth its weight in gold.

©2008, Dena Dyer

“Education is simply the soul of a society as it passes from one generation to another.”
G. K. Chesterton

The beginning of a new school years signifies getting back into a routine, having an overscheduled appointment book, and the constant juggling of not having enough time to fit in everything which needs to be done. The pace of life quickens during the autumn season, just as the days begin to grow shorter. We send our children off to school with high hopes that what they are being taught coincides with our values and Christian way of life, but down deep, we know that is not always the case.  That is why it’s so important to begin the process of educating our children at home when they are just infants. We place those seeds of wisdom and knowledge in our daily interactions with our children, such as the Golden Rule, the Ten Commandments, and lessons from the Bible. Then we nurture and protect those seeds, so that when they are sent out into the “real world” they will have a solid foundation of faith to stand on when they begin to absorb the lessons which are being taught by the teachers and by the interactions with other children.

I love Chesterton’s quote because it shows the value of passing life’s  lessons within a family context.  As mothers, we are our children’s most important teachers because we spend those critical first five years with our children, modeling the Christian faith to them, teaching them how to treat others, instructing them about manners, helping them to see the beauty of God’s creation and how they fit into His plan, and teaching them that there is a right and a wrong way of doing things.  These are the lessons which they will carry on into their adult lives, and subsequently, they will pass them on to their own children. Henry Brooks Adams said “A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops”. The same holds true with us being our children’s first teacher.  Our influence will affect many generations to come, and we will never know what kind of impact we have had at all. That is why it is so important that we approach each and every day with a prayer on our lips that we make this day a day in which the Lord directs all of our actions and words so that we can have a positive influence on our children, guiding them through their daily activities so that they can make choices based on their Christian upbringing as they grow and mature.

This year, my youngest enters her senior year in high school and my oldest is a junior in college.  It’s an exciting time for my youngest as she makes decisions about her future.  It’s a time which is also filled with a touch of melancholy as her childhood draws to a close and she faces adulthood.  The transitions she is going through are exciting to watch, yet some anxiety is present as I watch her standing at the beginning of independence.  My oldest is switching to a new college and switching majors, and thus she is facing some major transitions as well.  I am certain she will excel in her new major, yet I know she must be feeling some anxiety as she starts out at a new college.  She is moving into her own apartment, thus giving her a lot of independence where she will be making her own choices and decisions which will have life-long implications.  My prayer for both of my daughters is that they stand firm in their faith, and that they remember the lessons I tried to instill in them over the years.  My prayer is that what they have learned will keep them on the path towards  goodness.  They must now seek out not only book-knowledge, but the knowledge of what God’s will is for their lives.  I pray that they are able to discern His will through prayer, and then embrace what His direction is for them.

My job as a mother is far from over as my daughters go through this transition.  I must switch gears now, however, as they cross the bridge from childhood into adulthood.  I am learning how to let go, when to intervene, and when to pray the hardest!  I have learned that I must hand my children back over to God, and trust that He will keep them safe in His graces as they grow and mature.  So, I am still learning lessons myself, even though I have been out of school for a very long time.  I pray that I remain open to learning new things until the day I die.  I pray that my girls will continue to come to me for counsel when they are facing a rough time  or a tough decision.  I pray that their future holds many, many wonderful experiences, and that they learn how to place their trust in God as He directs them through life’s lessons.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.  Proverbs 1:7 NIV

©2008, Valerie Wolff

I was wondering if you could enlighten me about how you and your family deal with Halloween. I feel that as a Christian, I should not have anything to do with it!

I have 2 girls and each year it is a struggle to stand up for our beliefs as Christians with respect to this issue. I have tried various ways of dealing with it in the past. When the girls were really young and didn’t know that they were
missing anything, my husband and I just stayed home, turned out the lights, pretended to not be home, and hid out in the basement watching TV or reading. Then, when they got older, I allowed them to dress up in “good” costumes, like fairies or princesses, but they had to stay home and we would purchase some candy for them to enjoy.

I decided that when I closed my door and pretended to not be home, I was missing opportunities to reach out to those who don’t know Christ as their personal savior. I got pumpkins and carved neat messages in them trying to reach the lost. One year I got 5 pumpkins and on each pumpkin, I carved out a word spelling out the message “Let Jesus Fill The Hollow,” once they were all lined up. Another year, I got 4 pumpkins and carved out the message “God’s Treat is Jesus.” I also ordered gospel tracts and handed them to the kids who came to our door, along with candy. Last year, reluctantly, I took my girls door to door to get candy because I conformed to pressure from my neighbor that I was making too big a deal out of things…after all, she said, the kids are just out to have fun! I failed terribly!

I still feel that we shouldn’t participate and I am struggling with a way to get through this time of the year without letting my girls down. They are going to have to learn that standing up for Jesus isn’t always easy but that they have to remain committed to Him and steadfast regardless of the criticism they receive from peers.

Do you have any suggestions of ways to do something special and fun with your family without compromising your beliefs? What do you do with your children at this time of year? I would really appreciate any feedback you could provide.

Thank you and God bless you and your family!

_________________________

I enjoyed reading your letter a lot, and have SO been there regarding Halloween. It’s such an awkward struggle, isn’t it? By the time my children turned 3, I simply did not know how to respond to Halloween and what to do with them. I grew up dressing up and trick or treating. I loved it as a child and had a blast. Most of the time, my parents had a Halloween party at our house but it was more about dancing, balloons and fun costumes than anything else. I have great memories as a child of this pagan holiday.

As a believer, I asked so many friends what their views were, hoping I’d find the right answer. I asked seasoned, strong Christians with young children and grown children. I also talked to my church about it. What I found out was that everyone has a different opinion of what to do. Our church doesn’t acknowledge Halloween, but has a kid’s outreach event that night. Some friend’s churches have a costume party along with “trunk or treating”—going car to car in the parking lot of the church for candy in “good costumes.” What surprised me most was that most of my grounded Christian friends took their kids trick or treating in their neighborhood. And then there’s my mom who’s now sold out on NOT celebrating or participating in Halloween period. Ahhhhhhh!!!! What do we do?

After doing just about everything you mentioned, from handing out tracks, to turning off the lights, and going to “non” Halloween events on that night, my husband and I decided that what our family enjoys most is dressing up in costumes and going trick or treating. Trust me, we prayed a lot about it! I’ve read all about the origins of Halloween and man, it is a bummer. But am I ever thankful for the commercialism of America. It’s the only holiday in which I’m thankful it adopted a superficial and fun meaning. Please don’t think we “celebrate” the holiday—we don’t, but I don’t think that Halloween can corrupt my children anymore than Christmas can Christianize others who celebrate it for their own reason.

We’ve talked to our children about the holiday and even read them books about it from a Christian point of view. We just use it as an excuse to have fun creating costumes, putting on make-up and playing fun family games that involve pumpkins. We always walk with several neighbors and their children up and down a few streets, and each of our friends enjoy seeing the kids dressed up. (We usually skip the really tricked-out scary houses.) And once we’re home, they sort through the candy, picking their favorites, and getting that once-a-year sugar feast.

I know some Christians will not agree with what we do, and yet we are at peace in allowing the kids to dress up and hunt for candy. I don’t know that there is a wrong or right answer to this one. I think every family needs to pray about it and seek God’s wisdom for themselves. In no way am I suggesting you should trick or treat. If you’re uncomfortable (because God is urging you not to—not the pressure of other Christians) then you should absolutely follow through with those convictions.

You’re correct, in that standing up for Jesus is not always easy. Sometimes, we don’t get to do what everyone else is doing. If you want to show your daughters your convictions about Halloween, then just don’t celebrate it. Your neighbor may think you’re being “mean” to your daughters, but she’s not the one answering to God for them. Don’t let her pressure get in the way.

I do know some families who don’t participate in it and don’t make a big deal about it either. They’ve told their kids they don’t want any part in it and that’s it. That’s all. There are no excuses, no negotiating and no alternate ideas. And all those kids are OK. They weren’t scarred for life. It may be disappointing to them at first, but they’ll just come to learn it’s one of those family rules.

As Christians, I think we should express our views and concerns with other believers, but leave the decision up to each family, not adding shame or guilt in the choice they make.

We know this tradition originated as the day of the dead, but is that what we’re rejoicing in? Should we let God search our hearts on this one?

Pray about it and follow YOUR spirit on this one, even if it’s tough on your daughters. Halloween is an odd struggle—I think most of us agree on that!

It is my privilege to introduce to you Mary Pierce.  As a book reviewer I have had the chance to read many great books by excellent authors and if you asked who my favorite is, it would be tough choosing just one. However Mary’s name would be at or near the top of the list, partly because she was a favorite long before I started reviewing books but primarily because she is a fantastic writer.

Mary Pierce and I go way back, though she did not know that until recently.  The humor in her books helped me survive my boys infant and toddler stages.  Her honest approach to living a Christian life was a breath of fresh air, but most of all she taught me to laugh when things seemed to be falling down all around me.

Most days you will find her writing buried under mounds of Dove Dark Chocolate and frozen Sweet Freedom Fudge Bars, but I am so thankful the “laugh lady” has joined us here this month.

I am so excited to have you here on CWO, please tell our readers a little bit about yourself.

I’m honored to be here! When I introduce myself at a speaking event, I list all the things I’ve been and done. “Wife, mother, daughter, sister, grandmother… waitress, teacher, stockbroker… corporate trainer, radio host, caregiver…” It’s a long, long list (and I end it by saying, “I obviously can’t hold a job!”). Of course, everyone in the audience has a similar list. We have so much in common—the roles, the relationships and the struggles.

But the most important thing about me is that I am a woman in love—madly!—with Jesus. (And it’s the passion of my heart for others to know that Jesus loves them too!)

I grew up in the inner city of Minneapolis, MN, in a non-Christian home. (My father was an atheist and an alcoholic and my mother an agnostic. Atheist, Alcoholic, Agnostic… hmm, you could say I was raised by AAA.) I married my high school sweetheart during college. That ended sadly after thirteen years and three children. Then God, in His mercy, brought me the love of my life, my husband Terry, 24 years ago. We share a blended family of six adult children and seven grandchildren. We take care of my mom who is 94 and has dementia. She lives with us and our dog Izzy, the Fox Terrorist, in the woods of Wisconsin.

The titles for your three books, “When Did I Stop Being Barbie and Become Mrs. Potato Head?” “Confessions of a Prayer Wimp,” and your latest book is “When Did My Life Become a Game of Twister?” are interesting and fun.  How do you come up with these great titles?

The first book title, (Barbie/Potato Head) was inspired as I watched a woman on a TV talk show lamenting the fact that she was, as she put it, “losing her looks.” She was 30 years old! Good grief, I thought. Where does this pressure come from? This beautiful girl felt like she was becoming unattractive! Then I realized that she was having that moment I think we all have, when we look in the mirror and think, Gosh, I’m getting older… Maybe it’s the “crow’s feet,” or the “laugh lines” or the “middle-age spread.” Something causes us to realize that time is marching on—and it’s marching on our face! We’re looking like our mothers. It hits some of us when we’re trying on swimsuits. We look in the mirror and realize we no longer relate (if we ever really did) to the image of Barbie. We relate to Mrs. Potato Head instead. The good news: God loves us anyway, just the way we are—cellulite and all!

The title for my second book (Prayer Wimp) came to me as I listened to Focus on the Family on the radio one morning. Dr. Dobson referred to a woman as “a real prayer warrior.” I thought, I am so not that. I’m the opposite of a prayer warrior. I’m a prayer WIMP! The thought became an article, which ran in Focus on the Family magazine, and then later it became the title of the book. In the process of writing the book, I came to see that prayer isn’t really so much about who we are (wimp or warrior) but about who God is. He is the “Omni” God – omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent – ready, able and WILLING to hear and answer our prayers, however feebly we might pray them. God is able to take us from whatever mess we’re in (even if we’re raised by “AAA”), transform our hearts and make something wonderful of our lives.

The third book title (Twister) was actually suggested by the marketing team at Zondervan. The game of Twister is just the perfect metaphor for the way life gets sometimes. We DO feel like somebody else is “calling the shots” (“Left foot red! Right hand blue!”) in life. We are trying to do our best, but are getting ourselves more and more twisted up and it’s all we can do to remain upright. But again, God is faithful to hold us up, comfort us and provide everything we need for this game we call life.

I loved reading the story behind each title!

You have held various positions throughout your life; what led you to decide to become an author?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved the way words could be put together to enchant or inspire or touch me as a reader. I remember being read to before I even started school and that feeling of rapture as the words and pictures drew me into the story. (The first book I remember owning was a Christmas gift from my grandfather. Imagine a gruff grandfather giving a six-year-old a book about a poodle called Foo Foo Goes to Paris. Books have the power to bridge generation gaps.)

In grade school, I started writing poems and my own version of a Nancy Drew mystery. During a class social studies program in 4th grade, I read my poems (about rocks and Eskimos- well, you can just imagine) and the parents in the audience applauded. I’m sure it was polite applause, but something clicked.  Writing was a way for this self-conscious, insecure child to connect. The writing provided a buffer of protection; I wasn’t so afraid when I could prepare ahead of time and know what I wanted to say.

Of course, “everybody knows” you can’t make a living as a writer, so I wrote for my own pleasure – journaling, poetry, letters—and got “real jobs.” I became a teacher and then got into financial services. God rekindled the writing spark when I was a forty years old (it’s never too late) and working as stockbroker. My husband was completing twenty years in the Air Force in California and we were planning to return to the Midwest. I felt the Lord saying that it was time to write and I told Him, “Okay, then I want to be a writer in the woods in Wisconsin.” And since 1990, that’s just where I’ve been.

It’s such a privilege when God uses my writing to touch someone – through the laughter or tears – and draw the reader closer to Himself.

What advice would you give to someone interested in becoming a writer?

When I moved to the woods and became a Real Writer, I thought success would immediately be mine. I thought editors and publishers would be clamoring for my next bits of wit and wisdom. NOT! It took a few years before anything was accepted for publication, and the pay was zero! It took twelve years for my first book deal. Yes, I’m a twelve-year overnight success. (Of course, it may happen much faster for someone more on the ball than I am!)

My advice? Every writer needs five things: (1) A library card and the Dewey section 808 in the library, where you’ll find books galore about writing. (2) A writer-friend who is farther along the writing path than you are, so you can learn from them. (3) A writer friend who is where you are on the path, so you can encourage one another. (4) A writer who is less experienced than you are, so you can start right away to “give back” what God is giving to you. (5) The willingness to give up something (time, money, energy that goes elsewhere now) to make time for writing and studying the craft.

Then, set a schedule and write, write, write. (One of my favorite quotes: “Writers write. Everyone else makes excuses.”) It’s in the process of actually writing that we learn how. And you will succeed—if you just don’t quit!

I love this advice, I can see this being applied to many areas of life!

When you are not writing you are also a motivational speaker.   What type of groups typically have asked you to speak?

I’ve been speaking professionally since 1996 (which in itself is a miracle for this shy girl!). My speaking is about evenly divided between church events– women’s ministry events and retreats – and community and corporate audiences. Whether I’m speaking at a women’s health and wellness event, an employee event, or a church women’s gathering, my message is essentially the same—to enjoy life by reducing stress, embracing change, finding forgiveness and laughing at every opportunity. (I find that God makes His presence known, even when I can’t mention Him by name!)

Each of your books are filled with humor and have me laughing out loud, but not all the humor comes from good times in your life.  Can you share how you found humor during your darkest days?

“A joyful heart is good medicine,” says Proverbs 17:22. Certainly there is much in life that is “no laughing matter.” We all have hard times and difficult challenges. Sometimes we can find moments of laughter in the middle of those things – usually laughing at the absurdity of it all. More often the laughter comes later, when we look back. But I figure, if I can say “A year from now I’ll laugh about this…why wait?”

My mother has always had a wonderful sense of humor. She’s survived one Great Depression, two World Wars and three husbands. (When someone comments, “Three husbands?” she says, “Well, I didn’t KILL any of them!”) She’s taught me, by her example, to look on the bright side, keep on laughing, and trust that tomorrow will be a better day. And when she gave her heart to Jesus at the age of 85, after all those years as an agnostic, she taught me the most important lesson of all: it’s NEVER too late to change your mind about God. She looked for 85 years in this world to fill the empty space in her heart (the one that only God can fill) and never found anything to fill it. Until she found Jesus. Her pastor asked her, after leading her to receive Christ, “How do you feel?” She said, “Like I never belonged before…and now I do.” What joy!

The bottom line is that we can find something to laugh about in just about any situation. But we can have JOY always, no matter what, in the certainty that our “Omni God” loves us and cares about everything in our lives.

This is something your books have taught me.  Humor is the best medicine of all.

In your book “When Did My Life Become a Game of Twister?” you share your experiences being a caregiver to your Mother.  What is the hardest thing about being a caregiver?

Becoming a caregiver is a difficult transition, for the care recipient and for the caregiver. I was surprised at how much the process of adjustment is a “grieving” process. The shock, denial, bargaining and anger all come before acceptance.

The “long goodbye” of dementia is truly that. The person you’ve known and loved is very slowly changing into a stranger. That’s very hard – losing the relationship you’ve had with your parent (or spouse). It’s a role reversal in many ways.

Being a caregiver is teaching me to be open to the blessings. God offers daily gifts in this season on our lives, if I will just open myself to receive them. My mother is still teaching me—teaching me to slow down, to appreciate every precious moment of life, to laugh, to accept what can’t be changed, and to accept the love and care of others with grace and humility.

One of the hardest things, which many women especially can relate to, is learning how to take care of myself. Caregivers need to be deliberate about “self care.” I try to make sure I have the rest, respite and resources I need to offer my mom the kind of care she deserves. And it’s always a privilege when I can speak at a caregiver event and encourage others to do the same.

Are there any projects in the works that you can tell us about?

My website is an ongoing project with the weekly blog updates and we have video and audio podcasts and CDs in the works. And I’m working with my agent on a couple of future book projects. I’m looking forward to offering my readers more inspiration, more laughter and more encouragement to draw closer to God.

Thank you so much for visiting us, is there any special bible verse the Lord has laid on your heart lately?

Thanks for inviting me! Two verses come to mind that bring me joy. The first is Hebrews 13:5, which says in part, “Be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you’.” The other is Jeremiah 31:3: “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Wherever we’ve been, whatever we’ve done, whatever we are dealing with today—whatever the impermanence of this ever-changing life, God offers us the comfort of His never-changing love and the promise of his permanent presence in our lives. And for a girl raised by AAA, it just doesn’t get any better than that!

Mary Pierce can be found on her personal blog every Tuesday at www.laughlady.com

Each month she has book giveaway, but for our readers here at CWO she is giving away FIVE copies of her book “When Did My Life Become a Game of Twister.”  GO SIGN UP HERE. You won’t be sorry!

©2008, Laurel Wreath

Allison Bottke, September 2008

My dear friend, Eva Marie Everson, grew up in a rural southern town in Georgia just outside of Savannah. She is married, has four children and five grandchildren, and lives in Central Florida. She taught Old Testament theology for six years at Life Training Center in Longwood, Florida and has written numerous articles for Crosswalk.com, including the acclaimed Falling Into The Bible series. She’s had articles featured in numerous publications, and radio, television, newspaper, and Internet media outlets have interviewed her.

Eva Marie is a graduate and student of Andersonville Theological Seminary, past-president of AWSA’s (Advanced Writers & Speakers Association) steering committee and the recipient of their Member of the Year Award for 2002, past president of Word Weavers, a graduate of CLASS, a mentor with Jerry B. Jenkins’s Christian Writers Guild, and a member of a number of organizations for writers. She speaks nationally and internationally. Many of you may also know Eva Marie as one of my regular columnists for the Boomer Babes Rock Blog.

After reading that long list of credentials, most folks would say Eva Marie Everson has a very impressive resume—that the girl has “done some livin’!” I would have to agree. That she has. Most of us Boomer Babes have done a powerful lot ‘o livin!

But Eva Marie doesn’t just live—she shares what she’s lived in such a way as to shed light on people, places and things many of us will never see this side of heaven. She’s been given a rare gift from God to interpret what she experiences and filter it through a process that eventually makes its way into lessons, stories, journals, columns, and books. She shares what she lives and we can become better people—wiser people—because of her journey. I like that about my friend. I like that God uses her to help me be a better person, a smarter person, a godlier person. We all need an Eva Marie in our life. I’d like to share her with you today.

In 2002 Eva Marie was one of six Christian journalists sent to Israel for a special ten-day press tour. During those ten days, she was forever changed when she “fell into the Bible” in such a profound way, she would never again view the Holy Land the same. Personally, I feel God reached down and picked her up with his mighty hands, intentionally filling her with insight and wisdom He intended her to share with contemporary men and women today. He gave her a mission, and she has been a good and faithful servant.

I’ve never been to Israel. Frankly, I’m one of those Boomer Babes who has a very hard time understanding and remembering Biblical history, or keeping people and places straight in my mind. But, I love the Bible. My faith gets stronger every year I’m alive and I never doubt that God is doing amazing things in my life. I trust He is in control.

Yet still, I have a tough time understanding the Holy Land. This month, I think that may change.

This month, Eva Marie’s newest book releases. It has been in development for over six years. I’ve been blessed to travel this creative journey with my friend and I feel as though in some small way, I, too, am giving birth to a new project. It’s not my baby, per say, but I’m just as excited to see it born.

Reflections of God’s Holy Land: A Personal Journey Through Israel will help us to understand as never before the origin of the Word of God, and the Land of His Heartbeat. One way it does this is by combining Eva Marie’s talents with those of Miriam Feinberg Vamosh, a Jewish best-selling author who holds a Masters in Archeology and Heritage.

Billed as a “unique armchair tour of Israel,” the beautiful hardcover book includes four-color photographs, related scriptures, historical and archaeological information about each of the sites, and a description of what it looks and feels like to be there today and even in years past. Providing more than a coffee table book of slick photographs, Eva Marie and Miriam enlighten us with a deeper understanding of the land of Israel—the land that holds not only God’s story but also the story of His people.

Beautiful photographs with cross-referenced scriptures of 44 significant biblical locations and historical and archaeological comment and present-day perspective, make this an even more exciting addition to our personal library. Published by Thomas Nelson and releasing September 2, 2008 I encourage my Boomer Babe sisters to get your copy today.

I don’t usually spend an entire column pitching someone’s newest book. However, I think Reflections of God’s Holy Land is more than just a book. As faithful Boomer Babes, I know we want to grow our relationship with God.

Understanding where He came from, where His Son walked, and where the Holy Spirit was made known—is key to growing our faith. With this months’ column, I’m hoping to introduce a new resource that will strengthen our faith.

I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy. Moreover, I would like to invite my Boomer Babe sisters to discover this treasure with me. After you pick up your copy, write to me at Allison@allisonbotttke.com and tell me what you think of it. I encourage you to stop by Eva Marie Everson’s web site and tell her what you think of her new baby. Make sure to tell her that Allison sent you.

Oh! You simply must watch the short video clip of Eva Marie talking about her new book on God Tube. Click here

Until next month, dear Boomer Babes who Rock, may the good Lord bless and keep you all!

©2008, Allison Bottke

O Lord, what a variety of things you have made! In wisdom you have made them all. The earth is full of your creatures. (Psalm 104:24 NLT)

A common complaint I hear from parents is the panic and pressure around getting the school lunches make.  Without a little planning and forethought a parent is left dolling out more cash than they want so their kids can buy the lunch Mom ran out of time to prepare.

As a child I have to admit lunch time was not all that exciting. To put it bluntly my mom offered us very little variety. I don’t believe there is a number high enough to count how many times we ate boxed chicken noodle soup!  To this day I have a little difficulty looking at the box.

My Mom wasn’t lazy. She was merely trying to raise 6 girls on a tight budget while working part time. We probably didn’t help matters much because rather than complaining, we did what good children should and continued to tell her how much we loved the lunch she made us. Until this article, I don’t think my mom knows what I think of boxed chicken soup.

While my Mom wasn’t the only one raising a large family and working, she was one of the moms who lacked imagination when it came to the lunch menu.

One girl at school who had a working Mom always brought lunches with variety. Sometimes she would have a thermos with left over stew, chili or mac & cheese.  Sometimes her Mom would put boiled water in a thermos and drop in a weiner.  By the time lunch came the hotdog was cooked and warm.

Other days she would have sandwiches–all different kinds.  The sandwiches were made ahead of time and frozen. It was a family effort one Saturday afternoon a month.  Having these prepared sandwiches allowed her to grab the one of her choice. The sandwich was perfectly thawed in time for lunch. The garnish for the sandwiches, like lettuce and sliced cucumbers were brought separately and added just before eating.

Then there were the kids I envied, the kids whose moms took cookie cutters and cut the sandwiches into hearts and other shapes. They always had a special treat–a cookie, a brownie or an unusual fruit.  If you are making the sandwich anyway, it doesn’t take a whole lot longer to cut out a few shapes.

If you really want to be Mom of the year, throw a note in once awhile.  Write a verse of scripture that reminds your little one just how much you and God love them. Trust me, the lunches you make for your kids now will be remembered for many years to come.

So before your children vow to never eat a sandwich or boxed soup again, use a little lunchbox creativity. Variety doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive.  Planning ahead is the key!

Tiny Tuna Wraps

Ingredients
1 can Tuna
2 T salad dressing
6 flat breads
2 Large dill pickles (Cut lengthwise then quartered)

Prepare tuna as desired.  (I like to add a little salad dressing).

Spread over flat bread.  Add ¼ dill pickle and roll.  Cut into 5 sandwich rounds.

Hamburger Bun Pizzas

1 Hamburger bun
1 tsp ketchup (or tomato paste)
1 slices mozzarella cheese
1 slices of salami
1 slices of pepperoni

Slice hamburger bun. (If not already purchased that way).  Spread tomato sauce on one side of the bun.  Put cheese on other side of the bun and layer with salami and pepperoni.  Put bun together to form sandwich.  Microwave until cheese melts.  Cut into quarters to make pizza wedges.  (Add any other toppings as desired before heating.)

A lifestyle change involves resolve and resolution that our mind alone cannot achieve. To want is not enough. It’s enough to leave us discouraged when we desperately want to see a change, but we discover that change doesn’t come without effort, determination, and commitment to ones goals.

For those of us who struggle to lose weight, life can feel like a never-ending upward climb in which every slip has us sliding further down the mountain.

Knowing that God holds the power of deliverance in his hands, yet failing to see that miraculous deliverance taking place in our heart can lead us to wonder, why? Why doesn’t God simply deliver us from our fascination with the fridge? Why do we have to take the long, treacherous route through the desert of testing in order to reach our goal?

He understands those moments of despair where we call out to Him, but He also sees the steps necessary to get us to that place we desire–where the land is flowing with milk and honey, but, miraculously, none of it sticks to our hips.

The first step is learning. What would it be like if our children graduated high school without ever passing a grade? If they received a diploma without taking every necessary class required to complete the grade, simply because they willed it to be so? We’d have graduates of little understanding, undisciplined, and unable to face the real world.

In the same way, we must learn to retrain, not to refrain. God could deliver us from the desire of food so that it was nothing but tasteless, but why would we want that? Food is a gift from the Lord. What isn’t a gift, however, is our reaction to it–when we worship food for something it’s not. Or in other words, worship the created more than we do its Creator.

God has given us internal signals, called huger and full. If we want to reach the land of weight control, then we must understand the difference between “hunger” and “desire.”

Dictionary.com defines the two this way:

Hunger: The painful sensation or state of weakness caused by the need of food.

Desire: A longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment.

If you look at the difference, you’ll see that hunger is a physical signal that cues us to eat, and that desire is an emotional signal that longs to be filled.

The simple life-changing lesson is this: wait for the physical signal of hunger, which is usually a grumble or subtle burning sensation in the stomach, before you begin to eat.

Once you have sensed that feeling of physical hunger, eat what you want. God has given us an abundance of food, and has never asked us to lay off carbs, fill up on veggies, or drink milkshakes instead of our lunch. What he does expect from us is to be moderate in all things, and to care for the temple we’re in, which includes wise, realistic choices in the food that we eat.

Once we have that lesson learned, we also need to learn to stop when we’re full. That’s tricky for most of us, since we don’t usually sense that feeling of fullness for about 20 minutes. That’s about how long it takes for the brain to recognize what the stomach already knows. So the best thing we can do is stop when we’re “satisfied” not “stuffed.” Satisfied. When we can say I’ve had enough. I might want a bit more, but I don’t need it.

Eat slowly. Since those around you are likely eating larger volumes of food than you are, finishing first isn’t fun. This gives us an opportunity to learn what our kids already know.

Watch children eat, and you’ll see that they often put down their fork, and they engage in conversation between bites. In fact lunchtime is usually more of a social activity than it is about food. It often takes a child longer to finish a little bowl of food than it does for us to finish a larger portion. So follow that lead.
The final lesson we learn when following God’s lead through our weight-loss plan, is that He is the one to whom all glory is given. He is the one who leads us out of bondage and to the land we so desire. Once you get to that place—remember who brought you there!

When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
-   Deuteronomy 8:10-14, NIV

©2008, Darlene Schacht

*We advise that you always consult your doctor before starting any diet or exercise program.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, Lord, my rock and my redeemer. (Psalms 19:13-14 NLT)

My son Jordan had an important Science Fair project to complete over a period of a few weeks.  He was running tests to find out which consumable product was more damaging to the teeth. He put each tooth into a different solution such as Sprite, Coca-Cola, lemon juice and canned Iced Tea, and each week made careful notes about the visible changes in the deterioration. We drove all over town searching for shark’s teeth to be used in the experiment, because they were the most attainable and a good substitute for human teeth.

You’d think shark’s teeth would be readily available in Florida but, most sharks’ teeth are treated with a coating or petrified, and consequently are unable to be used in this type of research. After a long and exhausting hunt, driving to every little shell shop and sea creature boutique we could locate, we finally found the uncompromised, sharp incisors and Jordan went to work on his project.

I want you to picture clear plastic cups set up on the kitchen counter, each with a tooth floating in various colors of liquids. I’d had a full summer of reprieve from school projects and wasn’t particularly happy about starting the assignments again.  Over the days and weeks, the project began to stink, and I was having a hard time making dinner each night with smelly shark’s teeth on my counter. By this time, it was hard to tell what Jordan had poured into those cups!

Each time I inquired of him how the assignment was coming along, he’d say, “Don’t worry Mom, I’ve got it all under control.”  Since that was usually true and Jordan wasn’t the kind of kid to be irresponsible, I gave the Science Fair project little thought, doing my best to just ignore the aroma.

The days sped by and before we both knew it, the time was upon us and we had to lug his project board, research logs and the teeth in question to the school. I was confident Jordan would obtain a good grade on his endeavor, because he usually received high marks for his work.  Imagine my surprise when he walked through the door at the end of the day, forlorn and despondent and announced he’d received a ‘C’ on his Science Fair task.

My first reaction, like other mothers reading this story, was to pick up the phone and make some heated inquiries into the reason for his low grade. I was ready to put on my boxing gloves and take someone out in the first round. (And to think, I was forced to smell that odor for weeks—how could he possibly have scored so low?)

Fortunately, I choose the wiser road and sat down with my son to discuss the issue at hand.

“Mr. Taylor didn’t explain what he wanted, Mom.  He wasn’t clear with us on the requirements of the project.  Steve and Alex and Jim needed me to help them, so I really didn’t have the time to work on mine as much as I wanted to. Besides, Mom, you know I haven’t felt so good lately.”

I listened to his explanation and then stood and walked over to his black and red backpack.  After a few moments of searching through broken pencils, wadded up paper and half-used erasers, I pulled out the instruction sheet for the Science Fair Project.  Wouldn’t you know it–everything that was required for an ‘A’ was clearly outlined on the assignment list.

I sat down next to Jordan and handed him the paper.  He looked at it, then looked at me and the expression on his face was priceless–much like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

He was to take pictures each week of the visible changes in the teeth, and record everything in detail in a log.  Also, he was to be prepared to give an informed and educated speech before his instructors about the project, the process and the outcome.  Because he didn’t follow the rules carefully, his grade was lowered.  There wasn’t an excuse in the world that he could offer to make up for his carelessness.

Ever since Adam blamed Eve for eating the apple, lack of responsibility has been a pandemic in our culture. We have all looked for a scapegoat for our bad behavior.  Isn’t it always someone else’s fault when we make a mistake?  It’s incredibly tempting to point the finger in a direction away from us, whenever our actions are brought into question.  I’ve done it.  You’ve done it.  Who hasn’t?

Legitimately, our actions can be the result of someone else’s choice, but nevertheless, we are always responsible for what we choose to say and do, regardless of the deeds of those around us.  We are accountable to those we interact with, to the laws of the land, and most importantly, to God.

I’ve learned over the years, that it’s far better to simply stand up and take the hit for my poor choices than to try to elude reprimand.  I want my son to understand that he is accountable for the path he chooses to walk.  Every choice he makes has a consequence for either good or evil.  Nothing is hidden from God, and I really believe when we admit our mistakes and take the high road instead of the road most traveled, our Father is proud of us. Developing a routine of integrity is a course well chosen.

Jordan never spoke a word of regret or remorse over his actions, but the next time a project was due, I noticed the assignment sheet was right next to the computer, adhered to with careful calculation.  Now, what more could a mother want than to see her child decide to live a life pleasing to both God and family.  This is a routine well chosen!

My daughter sits at her computer, headphones in place, hands flying over the keyboard as she types in a homeschooling schedule for herself. Tera is most happy when she’s in “secretary mode.” I couldn’t say no when she asked, awhile ago, “Mom, can I please make up my own work schedule for school this year?”

So she sits there, oblivious to my own flying fingers in my office fifteen feet away. She’s oblivious to the sounds of the Seahawks game drifting from the living room below. She’s unaware that I can hear her singing along with her new favorite CD.

Tera’s happy.

My son is walking around his Bible College campus, wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and black slippers he bought at the Murrieta Walmart. “I love being able to walk around campus in my slippers, Mom,” he told me when he called a half-hour ago. He also told me that he nearly drowned yesterday while surfing in Oceanside–information I could have done without. But I’m reminded that God is in control of my child, and once again, He’s done His job well. Zac tells me all the details of his surfing incident, tells me how good it felt to sleep in this morning, tells me there are no classes tomorrow, tells me what he’s going to order at Jack in the Box when he runs across the street for a bite.

Zac is happy.

Dave is in our bedroom, prone, watching that Seahawks game in his usual Sunday afternoon garb–flannel pajama bottoms and his favorite gray robe. “Beautiful!” I hear now and then, when his outburst defies our bedroom door and drifts upstairs. He’s full of spaghetti and meatballs, and if that wasn’t reason enough for lying around, there’s also the fact that he’s been up since 4:00. While Tera and I kept sleeping, he rose in the dark and worked a bit more on his sermon notes. After a long and busy morning, he’s earned the right to that robe, and those pajama bottoms, and the nap I know he’ll fall into soon.

Dave is happy.

My family is safe. My heart is full. My house is warm, and filled with the scent of wood smoke, a hazelnut candle, a fresh pot of coffee, and just a hint of spaghetti sauce. God is in His heaven … and all is right with my world.

This month we are going to talk about a topic that is near and dear to my heart: fashion.

I know you must be wondering what clothing has to do with ministry. Apparently it is quite important because you girls ask me about appropriate dress for a minister’s wife more often than anything else.

Here is just a sampling of your e-mails:

“As a minister’s wife, should we dress even more modestly than we would if we were just a church member? How do we make those kinds of decisions?”

-and-

“I need advice on how to dress as a pastor’s wife. Please, please, please write about that soon. I need help!”

Let me state from the get-go that there are no biblical guidelines to set apart the dress of a minister’s wife from any other Christian woman. Contrary to popular belief, we aren’t required to wear polyester or sensible shoes. I can confidently tell you now but early on in Luke’s pastorate, I believed this Fashion Lie.

It was 1994 and Luke and I were on our way to Kentucky for him to attend Bible College. Until that time, my wardrobe consisted of the typical things girls in their early twenties were wearing–tunics or brightly colored blazers over leggings. What wasn’t wildly patterned was black. I was quite the eccentric fashionista.

As I got more and more nervous about fitting in with the other student wives, images of my childhood pastor’s wife filled my mind and in none of them was she wearing anything resembling one thing in my closet. I decided it was time for an extreme makeover so off to the mall and the Misses Department I went – an area I had previously avoided at all costs.

While I browsed through the racks I tried to envision what appropriate preacher wife wear should look like. I was so proud to take home two pairs of pants WITH ELASTIC WAISTS and a sweater vest embroidered with bird houses and kitty cats. I have nothing against either of these except for the fact I was 23 years old and looked like I had raided my grandma’s closet. But hey, isn’t that what preacher’s wives are supposed to look like?

No. The answer is no.

Unless of course you are a woman who loves those styles and they are age and style appropriate for you. Personal, modest taste should be our guide. If you like it, wear it, provided it falls within the biblical guidelines Paul laid out for Timothy.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, “Likewise I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.”

Many people have taken this passage way out of context and have twisted it to mean we can not wear jewelry or anything in the least bit stylish. What they fail to realize is that Ephesus, where Timothy was at the time of Paul’s writing, was a hotbed of sexual immorality. Temple prostitutes dressed in garb that identified them as such. General prostitution was also rampant. The women of that day used clothing to communicate their availability much like women of the night still do today. Also in Ephesus were the cultural elite who used their finery to lord their position over the lower classes of people. (For an excellent full length article on this topic, see John MacArthur’s, “God’s High Calling for Women”.

Here are a couple of ways we can apply these examples to modern day:

Dress like a Mama, Not a Hoochie Mama
I am constantly amazed at women who dress scantily to attend church. Perhaps I am old-fashioned, but in my opinion mini-skirts and strapless dresses are not appropriate worship attire. As a whole, women (especially younger ones) do not comprehend that men are visual creatures and that revealing and/or tight clothing–whether intended to be or not–is a distraction. How do you know if what you are wearing is too much? (or not enough): If you have to worry about your underpinnings hanging out or a button popping if you kneel down at the altar then it’s probably not a great choice.

Another disturbing trend is mothers who dress like their teenage daughters. I’m not saying I’ve never purchased a shirt out of the Juniors Dept., but as a rule, if your daughter would wear the majority of what is hanging in your closet, it’s most likely not age-appropriate for you. Kohl’s Department store happens to be my favorite because it has a great line of trendy clothes that are made for the woman who is no longer a girl but not yet a senior.

Don’t wear Armani if the average of your church is wearing Sam Walton
Personally, I’ve never known a pastor’s wife that could afford better clothes than the congregation but I’m certain there are larger church settings where this is the case. I once had the opportunity to listen to a high profile pastor’s wife–dressed to the nines–tell a group of poor girls about her and her husband’s latest extravagant vacation. I don’t think her motivation was to make us feel ‘less than’, but even though we were sisters in Christ it was obvious she was culturally elite and someone with whom we had nothing in common. In deep contrast, I have another friend whose husband has a financially lucrative ministry and yet she still shops the clearance racks and minimizes her position because she doesn’t want to be perceived as untouchable. Guess which one’s example I take more to heart? In dress and attitude, we should all strive to be the winsome, humble woman whose actions give weight to our testimony.

Ultimately, worship meetings should be a God show, not a fashion show. The entire point Paul was trying to make is that more attention should be paid towards preparing ones inside than outside. God has never been impressed with externals; however, if we keep our hearts pure I don’t think He minds if we raise our hands to Him in a great pair of shoes.

Thank you for the great questions! You can submit your own by emailing Lisa at thepreacherswife1@gmail.com.