Lord, Please Meet Me in the
Laundry Room:
Heavenly Help for Earthly Moms
(Beacon Hill Press 2004)
By Barbara Curtis

Lord, Please Meet Me in the Laundry Room is Barbara Curtis’ life story–her long, drawn-out answer to the question she probably hears several times a day: “So, how do you DO it?” Barbara is the mother of 12 kids–9 of her own and 3 adopted. What’s more, she and her husband purposefully adopted three children with Down’s syndrome since one of their sons has this “little extra” chromosome. Need I say more about her qualifications to write a book?

In the first chapter, Barbara describes how her laundry room became the one place in her home where she could have a “Quiet Time,” where she could pour out her heart to God as well as listen to the “still small Voice” of the Lord. She says: “And so my laundry room became my prayer closet. For years it’s been the place I meet the Lord each morning before my children awake, and at intervals throughout the day… I never have trouble finding God in my laundry room. He is always ready to receive my praise, my thanks, my prayers for family and friends, my joys and heartaches too.”

Barbara’s journey to motherhood has taken plenty of twists and turns – and her heart-warming prose makes her a popular author and blogger; in fact, she recently received the “Best Meet for a Mocha” blogger award from “A Gracious Home.” Reading this book can help rejuvenate your walk with the Lord, as she reminds women, “What a privilege to be so dependent, so connected to Him.”

I noticed them long before they reached the greeting card aisle. She’d pause every few steps for a deep breath, gripping the brakes of her walker so it wouldn’t fly out from under her. He seemed well acquainted with the routine–a familiar dance that allowed them to hit the mall at their own comfortable pace.

I’d been poring over rows of Valentine’s Day cards. Card shopping requires plenty of time, partly because I’ve spent nearly a decade writing greeting cards for Hallmark and other card publishers, so I’m a little on the picky side; and partly because it’s often hard to find a card that matches what I truly feel.

My least favorite cards begin with, “I know I don’t say it often enough, but…” and end with sugarcoated declarations of undying love. (I figure if you love someone, you won’t need to spring it on him or her thanks to someone else’s words. You’ll show it and say it often. Period.) My favorite cards are simple and succinct. Some are even blank inside.

So as I’m sifting through the sentiments, this elderly couple maneuvers past me. He’s using a cane, and she’s driving a hot-pink walker that must surely glow in the dark. Along one rail of her rig are vinyl stick-on letters that spell, “Shop ‘Til You Drop”. We exchange friendly hellos and they busy themselves with what she calls the “mushy-gushy” Valentine’s Day cards.

I savor a sudden flashback of my parents, who are both in Heaven now. This couple has the same white hair, same sturdy walking shoes, and the same carefully gauged stride, set as a safeguard against taking a tumble. But what really grabbed my attention was the back of his navy blue t-shirt, which reads simply, Psalm 89:1.

She gives a little squeal and points to something on the upper row. “Oh John, look at that,” she says, nodding toward a giant heart-shaped card with a fluted pink border. “It looks like satin. Touch it and see. Is it?”

He adjusts the tilt of his sporty tweed beret. “Is it WHAT?” he asks.

“Is it SATIN,” she says louder. “Look up there next to the ‘For Her’ sign; a big red heart card. See it?”

Mr. Beret squints and leans in for an inspection. “Yes, Sweetie, I do believe it’s satin. If it isn’t, it’s as pretty as satin. Why? You want it?”

She couldn’t take her eyes off the card. “I don’t NEED it; I’ve got boxes of cards, John. Why would I need another? I just think it’s pretty enough to frame, that’s all.” She went on about how she needed to de-clutter the closets, starting with that “silly” card collection. “I think I’ve kept every card I’ve ever received.”

“Well then, how ’bout we just pretend you didn’t see this one?” he says, tossing me a mischievous wink. When she glances away, he reaches for the matching envelope and holds the card behind him, like a kid set on springing a surprise.

I watch them meander up the center aisle, him with the big red heart card behind his back, and her stopping every so often to rest. She taps his shoulder and motions for him to lean down, then whispers something in his ear. He recoils as if he’s been stung, and lets loose with a loud, raspy laugh that draws the stares of a young hand-holding couple in Electronics.

The old couple disappears into a crowded checkout line. I think, What a blessing, to create a loving legacy that outshines the most beautiful Valentine’s card; to share lifelong experiences that leave a history of God’s faithfulness for generations that follow.

Perhaps the referenced verse on John’s t-shirt says it best:

“I will sing of the mercies of the LORD forever. With my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to all generations.” – Psalm 89:1 (NKJV)

©2008, Bonnie Bruno

For more slice-of-life stories, visit Bonnie’s Macromoments blog: http://macromoments.blogspot.com

I’ve always been a romantic at heart. Many years ago, with two young girls under foot, no money to spend and Valentine’s Day looming, I had to get creative in order to have my heart-shaped cake and eat it too. There would be no date night with my beloved out on the town—that was quite evident. So, being a determined young woman with a fanciful imagination, I rummaged around the house gathering up anything I could find that said ROMANCE. Picture the ambience I whipped up that night: Twinkling lights. Votive candles. Soft music. A small round table covered in lace pulled up to the fireplace and two chairs nestled side by side, draped with tulle and ribbon. I put the kids to bed, added a package of pudding, some pound cake, fruit and whipped cream to a fancy bowl and voila! I had a romantic date!

Who says a date night has to involve consuming big bucks in a crowded restaurant? Why do we torture ourselves into thinking romance has to include over-priced handpicked chocolates, $100 worth of roses or glittering heart-shaped diamonds? Why not make the best of what we have–a roof over our head and a little ingenuity–to create a memorable evening for any occasion. A home shouldn’t just be a place to store our things. Our homes provide an opportunity to create the life we really want. Everyday life might not seem romantic, but it is all in the perspective. Life doesn’t always hand us our dreams on a silver platter, but with a little creative energy we can imagine life to be just about anything we want it to be. Work with what you have to create your dreams under your own roof. Here are a few ideas to get your creative juices flowing:

Craving a vacation? How about a little Parisian rendezvous after the kids go to bed? The library has wonderful travel CDs you can check out to see the splendor of just about any travel destination. Dim the lights, butter up some croissants, whip up some instant cappuccino and you’ll never know you didn’t spend the night in Paris. Well, at least it will be a close second to the real thing!

Need a day at the spa?  While your girlfriend’s husband might plunk down a fortune for her to be pampered on Valentine’s Day, you can feel like a queen in your own home.  Gather up a fluffy towel, a good book, bubble bath and a cup of tea, lock the kids out of the bathroom, dim the lights (so you won’t notice the dingy tile!) and fill up that bathtub to soothe your cares away.

Want a little adventure in dining? How about a progressive dinner in your own home? Try some new recipes (or order takeout!) and create a different restaurant in several rooms of your house!  Have appetizers in the living room, dinner in the bedroom and dessert in the den. Play different kinds of music in each room to create the perfect ambience!

Dreaming of a night at a quaint bed and breakfast inn? Set the stage for an overnight getaway in your own private B&B! It’s the little details that will make this special. Write out a description of your charming hotel, where it is located and its amenities. This will really set the stage for picturing your ultimate getaway. Give the B&B a name, label the bedroom door, wrap up some chocolates for the bed, put a small bouquet in the bathroom and have a tray set up with tasty delicacies for nibbling. If you really want to feel like you got away for the night, set up a guest room somewhere else in the house! Don’t forget to be prepared for the morning breakfast — cinnamon rolls and coffee at a quaint corner table!

Need a little sunshine to escape a cloudy day?  How about wearing sunglasses in your bathing suit sipping tropical punch through a tiny straw in a glass with paper umbrellas? Ok, well, maybe I am getting a little carried away here, but you get the idea. This is all about creating an experience, and sometimes you just have to use your imagination! Creating and using your imagination is half the fun of life. We just forget to try it sometimes.

Unrealistic expectations of what holidays, dates, birthdays and even everyday life should look like can leave us feeling deprived or lacking. Even our own friends’ ability to live the high life while we are just struggling to get by can be a bit depressing. But with a change in attitude and mindset, a focus on the blessings that God has given us, and a dose of creativity and fun, our lives can be every bit as rich and fulfilling as our neighbors’ who can just hop on a plane to spend Valentine’s Day in a romantic restaurant 3,000 miles away. Create a place that nurtures your spirit, rekindles your love, and renews your energy right under your own roof. That is a fairytale life! I can’t think of anything more romantic than that.

Song of Solomon 2:10, “My lover spoke and said to me, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.’”

©2008, Melissa Michaels
Photo credit, Melissa Michaels

Love is patient.

Is there a reason why patience is the first qualifier in the biblical “love chapter” describing the characteristics of love? I wonder. Only because I am a mother who is long on love and, too often, short on patience. I mean, why not first, “Love is gentle,” or “Love is tender?” Or, better yet (to my feeble mind), “Love is a flash of divine revelation, a supernatural infusing of the spirit of God.” It is all that, yes. But first, of utmost importance, (I’ll trust the order of the inspired Word) love is patient. Nitty gritty.

And hard.

That is what I am thinking as we pour pancake batter into the griddle on a Saturday morning. Milky, buttery circles loop about the pan in interconnected rings, misshapen hearts that sizzle and pop. A toddler looms dangerously close to heat. A preschooler anxiously slops more. A lanky one flips prematurely, batter oozing, dripping. Sensitive child bursts into tears that the hearts are all smeared, the rings mashed. Oldest, with egg poised to crack, asks if I want more? More? More of this careening ride? I sense a loudness, akin to a pleading howl, surging close to my lips.

The Spirit soothes, strokes the frayed edges: “Love is patient.”

Love is patient. How can I be patient in the tipsiness of this domestic chaos? How can I be patient in the pain of now? When vocal cords pitch screams, when tears brim and fall, when the clock keeps ticking steadily ahead and we just keep sputtering, stumbling along? I want to strive ahead of here, into the future where we all stick to the script of buffed perfection.

Deep breathe. Love is patient. And it strikes me, an epiphany over the fry of bubbling pancakes, “Love can only be patient when it is first grateful for what is right now.”

It is true: I can love only when I am thankful for the now. When I embrace the present as a gift, a time and place not to be afraid of, to resist and fight, but a place to accept, to welcome and receive as a bestowment from a kind Father.  Love cannot be patient when I am discontented, when I am trying to micromanage. I fail to love when my fears (of failure, of bedlam, of tardy, tangled, turmoil) drives me to control, to strangle every moment with my demands. When my obsession with control chokes out gratitude, patience lies limp and  love dies. Patience can only grow in the soil of gratitude. Lack gratitude, then lack patience, and, ultimately, lack love.

Henri Nouwen suggests that  “[t]he word patience means willingness to stay where we are and live out the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.” Patience is only a possibility when we mindfully invite this moment to rest here, and not hurry on. And we can, because we know that this moment brings us something, something yet hidden that will reveal itself as a gift for which we can give thanks.  Nouwen offers that “patient people dare to stay where they are. Patient living means to live actively in the present….” I reflect on and concur: Patient pilgrims linger in the present, thankful for what is. Where thankfulness flourishes, patience blossoms, and one reaps love, abundantly.

And when I am not patient?  My failure to love is first a failure to be grateful. My sharpness springs from my lack of appreciation for who they are now, my impatience for them to grow into someone different. The more afraid I am, the more controlling I am, the more dissatisfied I am,  the harder it becomes to be patient, to be loving. Patient people dare to accept people where they are, grateful for who they are now, appreciative of works of art not yet finished but still deeply loved.

Deep breathe. Love is patient. And it can only be patient when it is first grateful, receiving the present as a present, grace.

How to be grateful when careening? Remember….

There are few emergencies

Then why that pitch to the parenting voice? Emergencies are wildfires, screeching sirens, and gaping wounds. In everyday life, we rarely experience emergencies.  Then why do we need to holler, fly, rush off? As Simone Weil writes,  “Waiting patiently…is the foundation of the spiritual life.” Yes, love is the foundation of the spiritual life, and it begins with grateful patience. And, when I think on it further, really, what catastrophe will befall if we slip into church 5 minutes late or dinner is on the table 15 minutes after six? Sure, it’s time to be in the car and junior can’t find his other shoe.  Or the soup needs seasoning and toddler wraps like vine up a parental leg. Take a deep breath. This really isn’t an emergency. Now is good. Now comes in a box to be unwrapped and, yes, even this, can be appreciated. Now is not an emergency to rip through, but a moment to embrace with gratitude.

There are all, only, gifts

When it all teeters off-kilter, if we wait patiently, long enough to peel back the droopy  (or is that weary?) eyes of our heart,  a hidden gift reveals itself. If we tilt too and see the world slant. This toddler leaning over the griddle? That curiosity endears, lights, impassions.  Here, let’s  lift you away from that heat and let you see these frying cakes. Sensitive child wailing? That tender heart is a unique gift. Why don’t we pour another batter heart again and mend yours too? Instead of pulling hair out, cock head to one side and pull the waiting gift out of this mayhem. Count His gifts: the way the light shaft pools on the floor at child’s feet, the curl of little one’s nose, the nape of growing child’s neck bent over books. When the gifts are patiently unearthed from the rubble, gratitude surfaces too. Love then stabilizes the chaos.

There are never fears

Fears grip tight, crushing my chest cavity. Alot is on the line in parenting. A soul. A young person’s future.  And, when I am ruthlessly honest, seemingly even my own reputation. Fear of failure prods, pierces, weighs.  Fear and gratitude mix like oil and water: incompatible. I cannot appreciate the gift of this moment, this child as he or she is now, when fears puncture. Trust births gratitude; fear stabs it. I can only accept this situation as a gift when I trust the benevolence of the Giver.  If I fear that the current scenario is actually to my detriment, harmful either currently or for my envisioned future, then I am anything but grateful, anything but patient, anything but loving. Most likely, when fears close in, I grow impatient, wanting to escape, or change, the present scene. True to the flight or fight theory of response, my fears too often feed  either anxious fleeing or angry fighting. I am waking to this in my own life:  The more afraid I am, the harder it becomes to express gratitude, the harder it becomes to practice patience. The harder it becomes to love.

Ultimately, fears and anxiety indicate a lack of trust in the goodness of the Giver of Good Gifts. And when I can’t give thanks for what He gives, I grow impatient, and am, sadly, incapable of love. If I am not grateful, and love in my life is sparse, it’s time to grope around in the dark and arrest the fears that lurk. I talk aloud to them, if necessary, naming the fears, disarming  their potency with Truth. Throw on the light, let the fears flee instead, and see that this God of love is entirely worthy of dogged, untiring trust—because He gives only good gifts.

The kids crush in and I grin. I think I get it, the order of love, the preeminence.

Love is patient first. Because it first is grateful.

©2008, Ann Voskamp

Join me as I chat with author Tricia Goyer about her newest on-fiction book, Generation NeXt Marriage: The Couple’s Guide To Keeping It Together. I loved Tricia’s Generation NeXt Parenting and have been waiting not-so-patiently for her book on marriage to be released. It’s finally here! Tricia’s writing style is open, honest and refreshing. She’s not afraid to use examples from her own life or to let her readers in on the lessons God has taught her over the years.

All the books she’s written and accolades and awards she’s received pale in comparison to Tricia’s
greatest joy: her family.

Tricia is married to the love of her life, John, and they have three great kids whom she homeschools. They make their home in Northwest Montana with their dogs, Lilly and Jake.

In addition to writing, Tricia enjoys sharing Jesus’ love through volunteering as a mentor for teenage moms in her community. She also leads children’s church every week with the rest of her family.

Visit TriciaGoyer.com

Twenty years ago, we were in the process of waiting for our first child to be born. We knew it was going to be a girl, and we knew exactly what her name was going to be.  The lawyer cautioned us about not preparing a room for her, because he said he had seen where adoptions fell through, and thus if that happened to us, a completed room would only be a painful reminder of not having a child.  But, my husband and I had  such peace about the process of adopting this child, and we knew in our hearts that she would be coming home with us to stay. The love we had for her already was amazing, and we prayed for her safe delivery and her mother’s physical and emotional health throughout the months ahead.

On the first day of spring that year, our daughter was born.  The name she was given was her great grandmother’s name, and to this day, it is a name that she wears with pride.  She has grown in beauty and grace, knowing God’s love, knowing her birth mother’s love, and knowing our love and our families’ love.  This love has helped her through many crises – physical and emotional and spiritual – and has brought her to her childhood’s end and womanhood’s beginning.

Our second girl was born almost three years later towards the end of winter, and when we picked her up from her foster home, there was a blizzard outside.  When our first daughter laid eyes on the baby, she walked over to her little sister, patted her on the head and said “I want her, let’s take her home”.  And thus began their sisterly relationship, based on the oldest being very overprotective, and the youngest being fiercely independent – hence, creating a “loving” atmosphere of constant bickering and yet extreme loyalty towards each other.  This daughter, too, has known the love of God, her birth mother, her family and her extended family – and she has grown up with the knowledge that love is not based on the color of a person’s skin.  During her childhood, she faced many obstacles, and as her childhood is drawing to a close, she has grown stronger knowing that she is a child of God, adopted twice.

I’ve often been asked how I can love another woman’s child as if she was my very own. That question often puzzles me, because love is love, regardless of whose blood is flowing in a person’s veins.  The minute I saw each of my girls – even before that time – I loved them with a strong and protective and fierce love.  As an adoptive mom, I know that I have been given a selfless gift from another woman – her own flesh and blood.  I honor that gift each and every day by keeping her in my prayers, and by raising her daughter with the same motherly love she has and in a way which would make her proud of her daughter. When my daughters go to meet their birth moms someday, I want these special women to know that their daughters were loved as if my daughters were “my very own”.

I’m standing now at the end of their childhood, and I’m learning how to let go. When they were little, I vowed I would never let go of them, but now I know how unrealistic that vow was because it was based on fear and not on love.  I must let them go, so that they can embrace their lives as their own and touch other people’s lives with God’s love inside their hearts.

©2008, Valerie Wolff

I just want to tell you what a blessing you are, and how happy I was to learn that you are a committed Christian! I am 38-years-old, and watched you back in the “Full House” days. I have always loved you! Seeing you as the woman you turned out to be, is such an inspiration. I have been a Christian since I was seven, and was so blessed to grow up in a wonderful Christian home. It is so amazing to see someone like you with a heart like mine.

You are so beautiful on the outside, and more importantly, so beautiful on the inside. One can truly see God’s love in your countenance.

I have a couple of beauty questions: What kind of make-up do you use (base and powder)? I have the hardest time finding something that doesn’t look like I have a ton of make-up on, yet natural. Also, what kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use? Any deep conditioners or hair masks? I have hair similar to yours (color and length). It takes a lot to keep colored hair healthy, so any tips would be great.

Also, when you get your hair cut, how do you tell them you want it cut? I LOVE your hair!

Thanks, Candace for reading my email. Just know what a blessing you and your website are!

_________________________

Thanks so much for the sweet email.

To answer your questions–I use Sheer Cover mineral based powder foundations. Yes, it’s a Leeza Gibbon’s product: www.sheercover.com! I thought I’d try it, and I LOVE it. I use Frederik Fekkai hair products, which can be found at www.sephora.com. I have fine hair but a lot of it. It’s the most resilient hair my hairdresser has even seen. I’m blessed with that, because my hair shouldn’t be in as good of shape as it is since I’ve been coloring and highlighting it since I was 12.

I trust my hairdressers and usually explain the type of cut I want. Layers are a must for long hair, or else it’s shapeless and homely looking in my opinion. A few months ago, I decided to cut some bangs and am having fun with it. They do a great job with my hair, and I’ve never been unsatisfied. That of course is with my two trusted hairdressers: one in L.A. and one in Miami. It took a lot of searching, bad cuts, and color in between to find these people worth sticking with.

If you don’t have a regular hairdresser that you love and trust, I’d take a picture of someone who’s cut you’d like to emulate. That should help!

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. A day filled with laughter and love. It’s a day when starry-eyed lovers gaze deeply into each other’s soul. It’s a day, or maybe a memory, when youngsters make big red construction paper hearts covered in glitter and can’t wait to take them to their mothers after school. A day with Cupids, and candy, and….wait, Allison, it’s time for a reality check.

Reality…I remember when my son, Christopher, was in elementary school and would make those construction paper hearts with a sweet message and his name scrawled in big letters inside. I still have one nestled in tissue paper in my memory box, close to the cotton-ball Santa Claus fashioned on a paper towel roll. Now, 30+ years later, he is locked behind cold steel bars awaiting trial. It may be years before I can wrap him in a loving embrace. Valentine’s Day doesn’t hold the same sweet, warm feelings that it once did.

I’m sure there are other moms reading this column who can relate to this—moms who have an adult child who may be breaking their heart rather than filling it with warm fuzzy feelings. But Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a day we would just rather move beyond. It doesn’t have to be a reminder of what once was and what might never be again.

Although the choices our adult children make may break our heart – the fact is that God’s love is healing. This may sound amazingly simple—and in fact it is. Simple yet oh so difficult to grasp at times. When we make the decision to stop living their life of drama and hand our adult child over to God and allow him to begin healing our own broken heart, this is when real hope and healing can begin – for us as parents as well as perhaps for the adult child as well.

It’s easy for us to fall into habits that are controlled by our sinful, worldly nature. Habits such as dwelling on the sadness, thinking about all of the “what if I had done this,” or “if only I had done that” feelings. What purpose does dwelling on the negative stuff of life serve? Don’t we have a choice how we think? Is someone else inside our brain making us think, feel, or behave a way contrary to what we’d like?

Not likely.

The sub-title for the God Allows U-Turns book series is this: “The choices we make change the story of our life.” Another amazingly simple concept—and yet all too often ignored.

Take heed, dear reader, we do have choices. Lots of them. We have a choice how we will respond to situations and circumstances and yes, even to holidays. We have a choice to walk the talk of a Christian—to make our faith more than a Sunday sermon or a passage from Scripture. We have a choice to see that proverbial glass as half full—not half empty. We have a choice who we will serve…God or the never-ending list of reasons and excuses for why our life is such a mess.

God loves us. He loves us so much that he gave his only son to die for us on the cross at Calvary. He is in control and he has a plan for our life and for the life of everyone we love.

This Valentines Day I can choose to make everyone around me miserable because my heart aches for my son. Or, I can choose to walk in the light of the Lord who loves me just as I am—who loves me in spite of who I am—and who loves me because of who I am.

Yes, my only son is in jail. Yes, this breaks my heart. However, I have a choice to make. Will I dwell on the pain? Will I cast a shadow of remorse on everyone around me—sharing my anguish so everyone in my sphere can feel the pain? It’s my choice.

Yes, my only son is in jail. Is it mere happenstance that this is also the month my newest book releases—my book on setting boundaries with adult children? As a baby boomer mother, grandmother, friend, and wife—I pray daily to better understand how vital my choices are not only to my own happiness but to the happiness of those around me. How am I choosing to live?

Along with having a son in jail, I also have dear friends and family who care about me. I have business success on the horizon that I have dreamed about for years. I have a loving God who continues to open doors as I remain focused on him. I have a faith that grows stronger with every day. And I have a loving husband at home who will do his best to make this Valentines Day a special day. And, I fully intend to let him. It’s my choice.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
- Romans 12:18 (NIV)

©2008, Allison Bottke

Releasing in February from Harvest House Publishers: Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children -
Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
by Allison Bottke.
For more information visit: www.SanitySupport.com

By now most of us have heard that those who persevere are the ones who finish the race, but the question remains, what race are you running? It’s one thing to have a goal in mind, but if you haven’t mapped out a specific plan to get you there, the odds are stacked up against you, before you even begin.

In The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, Dr. Phil McGraw writes, “Because I have counseled so many overweight patients, I can tell you with absolute certainty why some people stay fit and others do not. If someone is successful in keeping weight off for five, ten, twenty, or more years, they have carefully planned, thoughtful goals that they hold to and live by.”

The Bible also reminds us to carefully consider our plans before we set out to build: “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’” – Luke 14:28-30.

In that passage, Jesus was pointing out the cost of being a disciple. Life will offer us a thousand and one reasons why we shouldn’t follow Christ, but those who have built their faith upon conviction won’t give up because they have counted the cost before hand and their eyes are fixed on the goal ahead. As the apostle Paul wrote, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:13, NIV. I often refer to Paul’s writing to the Philippians since he so vigorously writes about the pursuit of God. Can you imagine the excitement that letter brought, when by the hand of Epaphroditus it was first delivered? Rejoice in suffering! Stand fast in the Lord! Press on in faith!

The refreshing and empowering words can revitalize any life when we put them into action. And the same action can be applied to all things that we set out to do. As Solomon wrote, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might!” – Ecclesiastes 9:10, NIV

Therefore I’ll ask–do you have a recipe for success? Have you carefully considered your weight loss goal, and detailed the means you’ll take in getting there? If you haven’t taken that very important step, I urge you to grab a pen and a paper—a pretty little journal if you have one—and answer the three following questions in detail:

1. What is the final goal or goals that you hope to attain? (Weight loss, better health, release from the bondage of food, more energy, etc.) Without a specific goal in mind, it’s nearly impossible for one to attain it. Be specific. If you want to lose weight, then decide on how much you are hoping to lose, and when you hope to reach this goal.
2. What do you hope to gain by reaching this goal? (I’ll feel younger, gain respect, feel accepted, look beautiful, etc.) Answer honestly; and don’t worry we won’t peek at your answer!

1. What is the cost? What is it going to take in order to make this change? Are you on a specific diet plan? Do you have an exercise routine that you plan to adhere to? If drinking more water is important, mark that down too. Carefully consider the changes or additions to lifestyle that you will need to make in order to reach this goal, and write them down. Be specific. Include things that you need to eliminate, and things that you need to incorporate.

The ability to envision our goal and the means of getting there brings us that much closer to achieving it. Once you have decided exactly what your final goal will be, we can start breaking it down into smaller attainable pieces. For example, if you want to lose 50 pounds this year (lets make it easy and round it off to 52 pounds in 52 weeks) we can do a little math and conclude that your focus for each week will be 1 pound. That’s it—1 pound per week! 100 pounds? Then you’re still only looking at 2 pounds/week–which is an easy enough goal to achieve–if you have counted the cost and are willing to adhere to the plan.

Too often dieters will say, “I want to lose weight, so I’ll start cutting back.” And that’s pretty much the end of the plan. Believe me, if our sweethearts show up with a box of chocolates this month that we mindlessly munch on as we’re watching TV, “cutting back” may not hold the same definition that it held the day before. Without a set plan to adhere to, we tend to negotiate a bit too much with the stomach, and when that happens we all know who wins out! If we accept those chocolates with the foreknowledge that a small treat after dinner is in line with our plan, we don’t have to negotiate, we can rely on knowledge rather than impulse. Two chocolates come out the the box, and the rest are put into the cupboard until the next day. This doesn’t mean that we have to start counting calories, it could mean envisioning the size of our meals and the frequency of them before hand, then sticking to the plan. This is where wisdom takes over and willpower takes a back seat.

The same thing can apply to exercise. The familiar line, “I plan to exercise more often from now on!” What does that mean? “More often” can mean once, or it can mean daily. If you leave that choice up to whim, chances are you’ll opt for the minimum rather than the maximum workout experience. Be concise. Develop a plan that you will stick to. For example, if your plan is to walk for 45 minutes five times a week, map it out by deciding ahead of time when you’ll schedule your walks in, where you’ll be walking (treadmill, outside, etc.). And if you can find a partner, then jot down whom you’ll be with. By scheduling a time we move it into our life and begin to shift things around it, rather than trying to squeeze it in where it fits. Priorities have a way of squeezing out the less pleasant activities, unless we make it a point to prioritize them.

In a recent interview with Larry King, actress Ricki Lake, famous for losing over a hundred pounds and successfully keeping it off for over a decade said, “It’s all in moderation; I think it’s being consistent; I think it’s being conscious of what you put in your body. There’s no magic pill, there’s no secret—it’s hard work and being consistent.” She added, “Any diet works, I’ve done them all. If you stick to it, they all work. But you have to stick to that plan.”

The “plan” makes us conscious and aware of what we’re putting into our bodies and how we are taking care of them.

Till next time ladies, stick to the plan, and Live Well!

©2008, Darlene Schacht

*We advise that you always consult your doctor before starting any diet or exercise program.