I suffer from Magazine Cover-itis. Have you heard of it? Maybe I have made up my own name for what I have! It is a disease, that I think affects many creative people. Our thoughts tend to center around creating the perfect cover shot existence. For me, being an interior design consultant, I love to create beautiful surroundings, and help others do the same. In fact, I can become quite obsessive about it–rearranging this or that in my house until it looks like the cover of a magazine. On the other hand, some people I know are quite concerned about their appearance, needing to have the perfect body, latest fashions or super chic handbags. They aspire to that cover girl look.

Decorating books and magazines feed my obsession. Double page spreads of homes that photograph beautifully, or that are staged to appear picture perfect, inspire readers to buy the latest must-haves, redecorate, or experiment with this season’s colors and fabrics. Magazines are a feast for the eye and offer a wealth of knowledge! I love them!

However, while I think my affliction is incurable, I am learning to use it for good. I believe God created beautiful things for our enjoyment, so I feel blessed to be able to appreciate and use His gifts every day. Beautiful surroundings make me happy. They inspire me. While I still enjoy lovely things, and spend much of my time trying to inspire others to find beauty in their lives, I now find true contentment in what I call authentic living.

Authentic living, for most people, does not always look like a magazine cover. But there is something especially endearing and unmistakably charming about an authentic home. It is a place where children can run through the halls with messy shirts and dads can take naps in the living room. Moms can bake cookies and yummy things in an apron that doesn’t match her outfit, while dirty bowls pile up on the counters. Friends can come for a chat and they don’t care if there is laundry being folded on the footstool. Toys are scattered about and teenagers can do homework on the dining room table. Babies and dogs drool on things. Things get sticky and in a scramble, faster than you can clean them up.

This is life. Not a staged version where the mom is “cooking” in a size-two cocktail dress and three-inch heels, and there is not a dirty dish or dust bunny to be found. Real life isn’t always picture perfect in every way, and yet, there is a lived in beauty there! We are drawn to the indescribable warmth and humanity of a home that has history, life, happiness, spirituality and love within its walls. That should be our ultimate goal, the life behind the beauty.

You can have all the latest and greatest designer styles, find yourself on the cover of a magazine, and miss the most important things of all.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…instead, it should be that of your inner self.” 1 Peter 3:3,4

©2007, Melissa Michaels
Photo credit, Melissa Michaels

Listen in as Jill chats with author Christy Barritt about her new book, Hazardous Duty. Christy Barritt is a freelance writer, author and speaker. Her newest book, Hazardous Duty (Kregel, 2006), is a chick-lit mystery about a  crime-scene cleaner. She is also the co-author of Changed: True Stories of Finding God in Christian Music (Standard, 2005).

Christy enjoys teaching and speaking at various functions, from writers groups to women’s luncheons. She has a passion for sharing the truths and lessons that she’s learned throughout her life. For two years, she was an assistant editor at Standard Publishing. When her father became ill, she moved home to be closer to him. The move propelled her back to her first love—writing—and she hasn’t stopped since.

Autumn brings more than just falling leaves. It brings a cool breeze, vibrant colors and change. It also seems to be the season for moving.

I finished packing last month and moved down to Texas where I am now unpacking all the boxes, trying to find room for everything. Some days it seems there are more boxes to unpack than I remember packing. It’s quite a challenge having to re-organize and re-think my storage choices when I was so used to the set-up I had. But give me a month or two and hopefully everything will have a place.

My sister is in the midst of moving. She’s living in South Carolina and starting a new job while her husband is back in Ohio within weeks/months of retiring and selling their house. T. Suzanne Eller, one of the Boomer Babe Bloggers is also moving. Her recent dilemma was what to keep and what to throw away from her clothes closet. Change.

Have you recently downsized and moved to a smaller home? How did you decide what stays and what goes or make more storage where there is none?

This next year will be a study in patience and pared back living for me – and I’m happy to say that I’m actually looking forward to what God is going to do in our lives in this new journey. My husband is settling into his new job and has had his first real estate sale (and closing) and he’s getting into the flow rather well. I’m looking forward to writing my third novel and releasing my next non-fiction book in February. Change.

I am also finding myself at a crossroads, as are many boomer women, regarding my business strategy and plan to shift some projects in order to focus more on those things that are priority – blogging, writing and speaking. Change.

With each change, regardless of size or degree, it’s comforting to know that God has ordered our steps. It also brings a certain freedom as we walk out those steps. Freedom to enjoy the journey. Freedom to watch as the change brings new friends, opportunities and yes, even new ways to organize all our stuff. By the way, do we really need all this stuff to survive?

I’ve found that as I begin to move with the change, rather than fight it, I am learning to give up other things, such as a dependence on email. It once drove me to endless hours in front of the computer. Now, I’m learning to enjoy the change, albeit self-imposed, to not be a slave to my computer. I’m learning to enjoy the beautiful Texas sunrise and cool evening breeze from my patio.

Change doesn’t always come easy. Some changes are sudden and unexpected – the loss of a loved one, a job or a home. Others happen after many years of working and planning to make them come to fruition. Then there are those changes that are just life – wrinkles, bifocals, and menopause. Change.

Regardless of the circumstances you currently face, there will be change. With each minute that passes by there is change. The change of seasons often causes us to reflect on the changes in our lives. I’m just thankful that through it all, one thing remains the same – Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. On that I can rest, be at peace and move forward in the midst of chaos, unpacked boxes, and change.

©2007, Allison Bottke

Hi Candace. I’m from Indonesia. I remember that I liked to watch Full House when I was a kid, and now I’m 27 years old.

I was surprised when I Googled your name and found out that you are Christian, and that you have a website that shares your experience with God.

I want to ask you a question, what do you think about sex before marriage? Is it a sin? Please tell me your opinion about this. Thank you.

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Thanks so much for your question—I’m excited to get one from Indonesia!

Do I think sex that before marriage is a sin? Yes I do, because the Bible teaches so. Starting with creation, God made man and woman. One of the purposes was to procreate. “Be fruitful and increase in number” (Genesis 1:28). He also wanted them to have an intimacy with one another, and sex was a tool to do that. Genesis 2:24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

In the Old Testament, many scriptures talk about remaining a virgin before marriage. There is much written about this subject in the Levitical law. The New Testament goes on to talk about it as well. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own”. Also, Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”.

The seventh commandment says “You shall not commit adultery”. Most of us assume adultery is only having sex outside of marriage. But Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Adultery starts within our hearts, and remember that God is a judge of our heart. That’s a high standard to hold up, considering most of us can look at an attractive person and immediately have sexual thoughts about them.

But that’s why Jesus came to save. He saves us from all our sin, because not one of us can keep His high standard. We are forgiven at the foot of the cross. At the place of grace we need to learn God’s Word and right from wrong.

Because the world has a skewed view of sex, marriage, and relationships, it’s seems like such a tall order to keep from having sex before marriage—and it is! It’s seems backwards from what the world says, and yet it’s what the Bible clearly teaches.

I know how blessed you will be to wait until your married, regardless of whether you’ve had sex before or not. You can always make a change RIGHT NOW. Pray about this subject, and talk to God about it. If you desire a deeper relationship with God, being obedient to His Word is where you need to start. There are also several great books out there that can help you understand why it’s important to wait, and also give you the encouragement and the scriptures to do so.

Many blessings in your journey,

Hi Candace! I just read the weight-loss question you answered, and wondered, what did you mean by “giving your food issues up to God”?

I am a married mother of four and I am having such a hard time! (I am on Weight Watchers)

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By “food issues” I meant some unhealthy eating habits I’d acquired in the past. For me, the only way to get past my abuse with food was getting serious about it with God. I needed to constantly pray that I’d stay away from unhealthy alternatives, and that I’d eat right, and exercise instead.

This sin was one that I loved and didn’t want to give up. I was scared. I constantly wrestled with it. And I knew it was keeping me from a closer relationship with God, and that I had to give it over to Him.

I said to Him, “I can’t do this on my own. I’m willing to take a step in faith to stop doing it the wrong way, knowing with all my heart that You will provide me the willpower to say ‘NO’ or give me a way out”.

That was the last time I was ever going to pray it. I didn’t want that struggle for the rest of my life. And while my view of food is not problem for me anymore, it’s an area I always have to keep close at heart, and pray about. I know the enemy is lurking, waiting at the door to creep in.

I think going on a diet like Weight Watchers is GREAT to learn portion control and to retrain yourself to eat properly. Food is a hard battle for most American’s since we have such an abundance and it’s so readily available to us. Stick to a plan and keep God close by your side.