CWO Magazine

"This is going to tell us if there are any underlying conditions in your heart." explained the nurse as she attached the EKG sensors to me. "It can tell us if there is any damage or if your have had a heart attack and not realized it."

My pulse quickened as I lay there on the table looking up at the ceiling wondering what they might find. This machine sitting on the table next to me was about to tell me if my worst fears have come true, that there is something wrong with my heart and as much as I tried to relax, I couldn't. There's no hiding from this. There's no room for denial when the wires attached to you are reading the impulses of your heart. Will the years of neglect finally have caught up with me? Will this be the moment I've been dreading where the doctor tells me that yes my heart is sick?
...

This is my country, USA is my land, and I will celebrate. I will lift my hands, lift my heart, give any part of it that is personally mine, right back to God to rule and reign over. Jesus, the world maker, the great deliverer, the tender Father, Redeemer, the Lord and Savior, the Creator and God himself, chose to have me live here in this land of spacious skies. I honor Him, who made this country and stretched it "from sea to shining sea."

I pray that His desires for this dedicated land will also be also my desires. I pray His Spirit will give to me the wisdom to understand, that which is stirring in this blessed America. I pray for His peace to enfold me like my warm wool afghan, to experience His nearness as in a gentle breeze catching my attention, or as close as the rush of the heat from the sun on my skin. Whatever path I travel, to known or unknown places, I will lie down in trust and rise in expectation, and offer thanks from a heart brimming with love and joy for the land of my birth, my home.
...

I wrote this post: I held her baby, Lord (* see bottom for post) in September of 2008. For those of you who read my blog often, you know that many times I do not write in specifics or details- often, I merely jot a prayer that stems from my soul... Today, however, If you get a sec, read the prayer of my heart, connected to that there above link... It'll only take a minute...

You see, in September of 2008, I was called by a dear friend to go visit another friend who had just found out that her baby- the baby she had carried to full term- had died in her womb. I was called because my friend hoped that I might understand the circumstances, having had two miscarriages of my own... But I can honestly tell you- EVERY circumstance is so different... and although I had gone through a loss... nothing prepared me for what the next 72 hours would bring.
...

"Mama?" My five year old daughter asked quietly.

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Julie says that her Mama told her that she is the most beautiful girl in the whole world."

"Huh?" I asked, giving her my full attention.

"She said that if her Mama said it, then it's true." She looked at me with questioning eyes.

"Hmmmm." My mind whirling as it donned on me how destructive these simple little "loving" comments could really be.

"Is it true Mama? Is she the most beautiful girl in the whole world? Her Mama tells her that every night before she goes to bed." She searched my face for a response and reassurance.
...

We are the proud parents of two heroes—Army Infantrymen who have served this country with honor and valor. The Lord has spared us the grief of having to deal with the loss of either one, but each one has paid a great price in their service to this country. They both came back from the war changed men.

Proverbs 18:24 comes to mind when I think about these things: “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” One thing I have learned from my sons is the close bond that forms between comrades-in-arms. The battle is not just about their own survival, but the struggle to survive becomes for them a continual fight to protect and watch the back of the man next to them. They live and breathe this existence as they daily face enemy fire. To lose a buddy then, can be absolutely devastating.
...

There are many fears within our human imaginations that we believe we cannot bear—apprehensions so terrifying, we often shrink from even admitting that they exist. The what-ifs of life are hopefully covered by our prayers to God for protection for ourselves, as well as for those that we hold dear. Some go so far as to suggest that it is not the Lord’s will for believers to suffer such things; if we simply have enough faith, then God’s supernatural protection will surround us like a magical force-field, protecting us from the worst in life. If we only think positive thoughts and claim victory over the darkness, these things will never touch us.

We all know, however, that Christians (yes, even very spiritual ones) do suffer in this life—just like every other human being, but there is an important difference: hope. 2 Corinthians 4, verses 7-10 tells us:

But we have this treasure [the Gospel] in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

...