Redeemed & Esteemed

Sometimes as I sit and pray the words flow out and my prayer goes on and on. It is kind of a funny thing when you think about it, since God already knows my whole life from its beginning to end, and knows my heart so completely that not one single word of prayer is required for Him to know its deepest desires. But He calls us to pray, and many times it is I who need my excessive outpouring of words to lay my heart before Him, so that I can see what is hidden deep down within. Other times though, the words in my prayers are few, for there are things within me, and things about my Maker, that cannot be expressed. At times I am left speechless and in awe of my God, and tonight was one of those times.

This evening, as I sat staring out over the lake where I am staying, with the cool Florida night air bringing a chill to my face, the presence of my God was so tangible that as I closed my eyes to pray, no words would come. I longed to respond to all the things He has shown me this week about who He is, and I longed to express gratitude for all He has done in my heart in just a few short days, but my words fail me.

I am not sure if it is how overwhelmed I am at the greatness of my God, or if it is my painful awareness that the view of God that I have been walking around with is far too small, that had stolen the words I long to express. Both leave me feeling humbled and small. All I could manage was “forgive me Lord”.

How could I think such small thoughts of our All Mighty God? How could I pray such small prayers and believe Him for so little? How can our God love us, love me, so much that despite our failures, our weakness, and our unbelief, He continues to reveal Himself to us?

I sat in silence watching the rippling of the water while our God of grace poured His love out on me. The truth is that God does not reveal Himself so that I will cower in fear, or go running in shame. He shows Himself to stretch my faith, and help me to believe. Our God is more powerful, more able, and can do more than we could ever imagine. He is able to heal. He is able to restore, and He is able to use a sinner like me to bring glory to Himself through the story of my life.

He is God. I am His. I don’t understand why, but I do believe.

How long I sat in the presence of my God tonight I am not sure, but let me tell you that although very few words were spoken, I stood up to leave knowing I had just had one of the most important conversations in my life. God revealed Himself to me in a powerful way and I in turn laid down this life He has given. No words, just me and my God, in a life-changing moment.

“How lovely is your dwelling place, LORD Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.” Psalm 84:1-2