Beloved Mama

In high school it seemed I had made enemies with a certain group of girls...well, not deliberately, but it turned out that one of the girls liked the boy I was dating at the time...in turn, it also seemed that this particular group decided that they hated me and made certain I knew it. THE POWER OF WOMEN!

Paul writes in the New Testament about women being silent in the church...for years I have contemplated what in the world that means. As one who has grown up in a church that appreciates Women in Ministry...I have wracked my brain in an attempt to discern this and other verses that conflict with my ideas...The truth is that women deal with several issues that are more rare with men. Women tend to have to work on jealousy, gossip, eye rolling, sideways talk, lending ear to friend drama, and holding their tongues...Could this be what Paul means when he discusses the issue of women being silent in the church...???

I have seen ministries and churches divide because of feelings of threat...jealous behavior...gossip...you see...we, as women, want to be able to confide in one special friend...we forget that our one special friend, in turn, must confide in their special friend and soon...confidence is betrayed, jealousy encompasses, gossip has gone full circle...feelings are hurt...ministries divide, churches split, friendships end and non-believers are left thinking: why would I want anything to do with that?! Even women in ministry, ministry wives, pastors wives, board members and board member's wives, Elders and Elder's wives, ...each one is prone to this situation...In fact...as WIMS (Women in Ministry), we should be that much more careful with our behavior because as WIMS...such behavior STINGS that much more!!!!! Women leaders have the power to sway people's thinking about another...Most men will shrug off a wrongful incident...BUT watch out for the woman who is wronged!!!!!

What can we do about this? STOP it in it's tracks...Be willing to say, I can't listen...apologize to those you have wronged and confront in humility, those who have wronged you...THE church, WOMEN in the church, CHURCH leaders, Pastor's wives...etc. must stop the behavior immediately, before more people decide they want nothing to do with Christ...I'll be the first to admit that I have confided in one special friend (I'm speaking in general here-relating to friendships over the years)...it turns out, they have also confided in special friends and so on and so forth....LET'S agree to stop it...NOW!!!! Pray about the situation and refuse to allow the enemy to shrink your spirit. FOR God has not given us the spirit of fear...but of LOVE, POWER and a sound Mind...

As women, we hold the power to build each other up. Ephesians 4:26 states "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen...Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." In fact, while you are at it...dwell for a moment on the entire chapter of Ephesians 4...Who can say they aren't guilty of the negative aspects of the behavior described? I can say that I am! Yet, when my women friends speak words of encouragement into my life, my self-esteem rises and my spirit is edified! Can you agree? Can you tell that I have learned the hard way...haven't we all?

In high school, I made it a point to talk to the girls who seemed to dislike me. My current view on gossip is that when I hear gossip about someone, I make it a point to get to know them myself...chances are, it's not true-or it's born out of jealousy-or...who knows?!!!!

Could this be what Paul was writing about in I Corinthians 14:33-35..."For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission...If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church." You see, all to often, instead of going to our husbands, we go to other women...what in turn happens...? YACK YACK YACK Disorder begins to happen, disenfranchised women, gossip, betrayal, hurt feelings...I can tell you that my husband, for one, will often take a more logical stance than I. I think most married women would agree that we tend to become more emotionally involved in a situation than our husbands...and WHAMO-What Happens?!...DISORDER AND DIVISION!!!!!! My husband is more likely to stay emotionally Uninvolved and is able to help me think much more clearly about various circumstances...COULD this possibly be what Paul was talking about? Could it be that the same situations that are happening with women in churches today were also happening 2000 years ago?

It seems some things never change...or can they?
It seems I have some apologizing to do as well as some confronting in LOVE...