Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid with a reader who hopes to win her husband to Christ.

I am married to an unbeliever. He and I got together real young, had a kid, and for the most part are very compatible with each other . The only problem is that I’m a new Christian trying to strengthen my faith, and he’d rather not discuss the topic of God, as he has had it rough growing up, and tends to use that as an excuse.

My question is, where do I go from here? I want my son in a strong Christian environment. For the most part, my husband is okay with me teaching him about God, taking him to church and praying.  He just doesn’t cooperate.

As his wife, I don’t want to force anything on him at all. And I know I have to deal with the natural consequences of marrying a non believer, but my house WILL serve the Lord!

We watched Fireproof last night, and I got the message. Maybe I should just worry about myself, and my faith in God, and hope that he sees Christ through me.

But I’m scared we will grow apart even more. We have free will; God wants us to willingly love Him. I just don’t want to be overbearing. He has major anxiety, and I seriously feel like we’re living in two different worlds lately. I hate watching him suffer with anxiety and not being able to do anything about it.

Yes, you can ask questions like this. I’m happy to recommend some things I think will help.

Neither my husband nor I cared much about God when we got married. Although we both had a basic belief in God, I became a true Christian before my husband. I prayed for his salvation for 2 years until I saw the fruit of those answered prayers when he gave his life to the Lord.

I’m glad you are asking these questions because that means you’re willing to seek answers and make some changes to your family life.  Could you and your husband grow apart because of the lack of union in Christ? Yes, it’s possible, but God also give a promise to wives concerning their unbelieving husbands.

1 Peter 3:1-2 - Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Do you see the promise? If your husband does not believe the Word (that is, the bible, or Jesus himself) he may be won over (brought to Christ) without words (not by you saying a bunch of things to him) but by the behavior of their wife (your conduct), when he (your husband) sees the purity and reverence of your life (your spirit in Christ when you honor and reverence your husband).

Start praying for your husband’s salvation today and every day until it comes. Hold on to God’s promise and don’t let up no matter how difficult it gets. It is not wrong for you to obey your husband and have him lead your home even if he is an unbeliever as long as he isn’t asking you to sin. And I’m not talking about legalistic sins like when he’d rather take you and your son to the park and play on Sunday morning instead of going to church.  Go ahead and do that… being happy for the special time you’ll have together as a family.

It’s a wonderful thing that your husband doesn’t give you a hard time when teaching your son about Jesus or going to church. Be thankful for that! Take the season you’re in now to grow in your relationship with God, getting to know Him and His word better. Your husband doesn’t have to be at the same pace you’re at for you to teach your son or grow yourself. Trust in God’s love for you and for your husband. God can and will use YOU as a tool to bring your husband to Christ if you obey and yield to His ways. It may take 2 years of praying  like it did with my husband or it may take 35 years like it did for my dad. In any case, it will be in God’s timing, not yours. The question is, are you willing to hang on to the promise?

My favorite book on being the wife God created you to be is “Created to Be His Help Meet” by Debbie Pearl. You can find it at www.nogreaterjoy.org or a local Christian bookstore. At this point, you need to diligently pray for your husband, but don’t take the burden of his salvation upon your own shoulders. That’s God burden to bear. You are only accountable for your own actions, not your husband’s, although you should do everything you can to help your husband be the man God wants him to be.

Some examples? Don’t preach to him. If you’ve shared Christ as Savior with him, then let the words go and let your actions show. Your husband has anxiety? Listen to his troubles then sweetly let him know you’ll be praying about it for him. That’s all you need to say at that moment. Don’t be tempted to bust out the Bible and go into sermon about casting your anxieties upon God if He’s not open to hearing it at this point. But DO diligently pray to God and believe that He will meet the needs of your husband.

Proverbs speaks a lot about a wife, so listen up!

Proverbs 12:4
A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.

Proverbs 18:22
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,and he receives favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:14
Fathers can give their sons an inheritance of houses and wealth,but only the Lord can give an understanding wife.

Proverbs 21:9
It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.

Proverbs 27:15
A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day.

Proverbs 31:10
[A Wife of Noble Character] Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.

You said it in your letter that you should just let Christ show through you and that’s exactly right. Let the sweet love of Jesus shine so brightly through you, that your husband will question what has gotten into his wife. Literally! The Holy Spirit. Let the spirit lead you as you show reverence and obedience to your husband.

Visit Candid Candace for more Qs & As on Growing with God.

]]> http://christianwomenonline.net/2009/05/01/winning-your-husband-to-christ/feed/ 25 http://christianwomenonline.net/2009/04/01/a-letter-from-candace/ http://christianwomenonline.net/2009/04/01/a-letter-from-candace/#comments Wed, 01 Apr 2009 07:28:33 +0000 Candace Cameron Bure http://www.christianwomenonline.net/issue/?p=1484

Hi Friends!

As you may have noticed, I don’t have a Q & A posted this month. Instead, I wanted to take this opportunity to share with you some exciting things that are happening in my life!

If you didn’t see recently on the AOL home page, entertainment news,  Facebook, MySpace or my website page…. I signed on to do a new television series called “Perfect 10″ for the ABC Family Channel! ”Make It or Break It” is a one hour drama that follows a group of teen Olympic hopefuls as they train and prepare for their day in the spotlight. My character (yet to be named) will be the step-mom to one of the gymnasts.

I’m really looking forward to being back on television and on a show I hope will be as family friendly as Full House. As an actor, I don’t have much say in what is written in the script or what the story lines will be, but I’m sure the producers will be open to hearing our thoughts. I do know, that because this show is based around a group of teenagers, there will most likely be topics that may not be suitable for young children. As moms, we  must use discretion and discernment with all things on TV regardless of the network it’s on or the time of day it airs.

As most of you know, I’ve devoted the last 10 years to staying home and raising my kids. Being a wife and a mother are two of the most important things in my life and they will always come first. So why the sudden change of heart, to go back to work? I could just blame it on the economy….. but actually the desire to act has never left me. I willfully laid down that desire to follow God’s path for my life which meant putting my acting career on the back burner for a while. All I’ve wanted is to just be in God’s will, no matter what that has meant; even giving up dreams. But God doesn’t place those dreams and desires in our hearts for nothing. It’s just been a matter of His timing to allow them to happen. Since my husband retired from hockey a few years ago and is a stay at home dad, that has allowed me to travel and speak across the country sharing my faith in churches and at conferences. Once that started happening, through prayer and discussion, did Val and I decide that going back to work may be a possibility should God open up those doors again.

And boy did He swing them wide open! The past year and a half has been a rolling snowball of speaking events, interviews, talk shows, radio, movies, books and television. To be honest, we were quite surprised how fast it’s all happened. We are so excited as a family and yet we are diligently staying in the Word to discern God’s path and not be lead astray by the glittering stars and lights.

As we move into a new season in our lives, would you consider being a prayer warrior for us? If you are inclined, please pray for a smooth transition to Los Angeles, for witnessing opportunities and to reflect the heart of Jesus to those who don’t know him. I would also ask that you keep the show “Make It or Break It” in prayer, specifically for family friendly content. While I may not agree with everything the show portrays, or agree with all the council the writers may give the characters, please know that I will be giving my best efforts in hopes that Hollywood would hear the voice of conservative parents.

I look forward to keeping you posted on the show, especially our premier date in June 22nd! If you’re interested in keeping up with me and my family in more detail, consider friend requesting me on Facebook or MySpace at Candace Cameron Bure or keep checking my website for updates and blogs! If you’d like to be added as a prayer warrior to my email prayer request list, just email me at email@candacecameronbure.net and in the subject line put “Prayer Warrior”.

Have a blessed month of April, and most importantly, remember that our Savior not only died for our sin, but rose again!!! He is risen!! Happy Easter!

Blessings,

Visit Candid Candace for her monthly column.

]]> http://christianwomenonline.net/2009/04/01/a-letter-from-candace/feed/ 15 http://christianwomenonline.net/2009/03/01/over-indulging-again/ http://christianwomenonline.net/2009/03/01/over-indulging-again/#comments Sun, 01 Mar 2009 07:28:25 +0000 Candace Cameron Bure http://www.christianwomenonline.net/issue/?p=1373

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid on weight loss when a reader says, “I’m over indulging again and can’t stop.”

I saw you in US Weely Magazine, and you look great! I wanted to ask, how do you keep yourself from slipping back into bad eating habits? I often find that I’m going along so well, and then the next thing I know I’m over indulging again and I can’t stop. I feel like when this happens I just undid all of the good work that I did. What’s your trick? 

The simple answer is that I train my body instead of spoiling it. Let me explain…

The other night, I made chicken and salad for dinner—or maybe it was pasta–I don’t exactly recall what we all had, but I do remember Maks liking it all a little too much! When Maks likes what he’s eating (which is often the case) he just keeps on scooping it in until I notice his sweet little cheeks getting full, and I say, “Maks, honey—you’ve had enough.” It’s a good thing I’m there to monitor him, since I fear the little guy may one day explode.

After dinner he started in on dessert, taking an apple, followed by a banana, along with high hopes of having yet another apple or two—until I stopped him again. You don’t want to be the person behind him at an all you can eat buffet—trust me on that.

Finally it was time to put the kids into bed, Lev was brushing his teeth, Natasha was reading a book, and Maks was parading around the room tapping on his little round belly.

“Uh, Mom?” He said, finally pausing for breath. “There may be a problem. I think I’m pregnant!”

I tried not to laugh, before explaining to him that he wasn’t about to give me a grandkid, nor by the looks of it–two.

I also found it a good time to explain that we don’t have to go hog wild when we’re eating, just because it tastes good. We need to consider what’s best for our bodies, when to say ‘When’ and how it’s my job as a mom to train him until he’s equipped to make that decision himself.

In much the same way, many of us eat as we please, because we aren’t trained to consider the result of our actions. We see where our actions have gotten us, but we don’t always realize the importance that discipline would have made.

We might say something like, “Overeating this once isn’t such a big deal. I can eat this, that, and the other, then I’ll just get back on track in the morning!” Getting on track is important, but the plan often falls through because we’ve started allowing sloppy habits to form.  I don’t let my kids get away such behavior, so why would I condone it for myself?

The trick is to look at it like your spirit is in charge, not your passions. Realize that you’re a grown up girl, and start living and eating accordingly–even if the going is tough. After a while you’ll be used to the training. Remember, discipline is never pleasant, but it yields fruit to those who are trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11).

Hope that helps!

Visit Candid Candace for more Qs & As 

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid on weight loss when a reader who is tired of yoyo dieting asks, “How can I maintain?”

I read the article about you in the December 22 issue of Us Weekly Magazine. What really caught my eye was the amount of weight that you have lost since Full House ended.

For a small person like yourself 22 lbs is a lot of weight. Throughout my adult life my weight has literally been a yoyo, up one year then down the next. Every time I lose a substantial amount of weight I manage to gain most of it back within about a two year period, then I have to start all over again. At 52 years old I can’t keep on doing that all the time.

For whatever reason I have not been able to maintain my weight once I lose it. I do know what I have to do. My question to you is, how can I maintain this weight loss? I know that I have to exercise and I have started walking after dinner. My problem is that once I lose the desired weight I go back to eating.

Once I treat myself to something I can’t get back on track. I would really appreciate it if you could share some of your secrets. I really need to hear from someone who has not only had success in losing, but also in keeping the weight off.

Weight loss is difficult and keeping it off can be even harder! Obviously, you know how to get it off–diet and exercise. Eating the right foods is key and staying on top of exercise is equally important. Your changes need to be a way of life. It’s OK to have a dessert here and there or a side of fries once in a while, but bringing those foods back into your daily diet will cause you to gain weight back and possibly more, as you already know.

I make sure that if I’m going to indulge in some goodies, the next day I’m on top of my wholesome diet. I’m conscience of what I put into my mouth every day, although Im not obsessive about it which can be just as dangerous.

Honestly, because I’ve been eating healthy fresh foods for so long, eating anything fried or processed makes my body feel bad. It may give me a headache, make me feel tired, or even sick. I don’t like feeling that way, knowing I can feel better just by the foods I’m eating.

If you know that it’s dangerous for you to eat your favorite unhealthy foods just once, then cut them out completely. I know for some people, it’s all or nothing. If that’s you, then refrain from eating all unhealthy foods. If however, you can exhibit self control and eat sweets in moderation, I would recommend this method. The later works for me as denying myself ALL sugar would make me go crazy! I prefer knowing I can have it, but choose not to, except on occasion. That is the exercise of my fruit of the spirit (self-control)!

I would encourage you to read Darlene Schacht’s column Live Well! She so wisely helps us keep the mental aspect of eating and exercising in line with God’s word.

Renewing your mind each and every day through prayer and reading the Bible can help you get a grip on not going back to your old habits. Commit to keeping your body a holy temple. God can give you the strength to do it. It will shine inside and out when you put the right things into it, both mentally and physically.

Visit Candid Candace for more Qs & As 

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid on the topic of devotion when a reader asks, “I don’t know how to get back on track. Do you have any advice?”

Hi Candace, This website has encouraged me to strengthen my walk with Jesus Christ, but I would appreciate it if you would pray for me. I feel as if I am going nowhere with Christ and I am walking further away from Him.

When I was reading your testimony, I saw that you went through a period when Jesus was last in your life and not first. Well, that is kind of what I am feeling right now. I can’t ever seem to stay on track with my devotions. For Christmas, I received a devotional. I was so excited so I began to read it though, but that only lasted for a few days.

I became a Christian when I was 6 and rededicated my life when I was 12, but like I told you, it is as if I am walking away from Him. I don’t know how to get back on track. Do you have any advice?

P.S. I love Full House. It has been my favorite show for years. It just cracks me up:-)

Thanks for writing to me.

It took me a while to grasp the greatness of what God did for me. Only until I understood His grace, did I want to walk in His ways. It sounds like you know about God, Jesus, and the cross, but somewhere along the way it hasn’t become personal for you (even though you’ve prayed to give your life to Christ and even recommitted it).  Sometimes growing up in a Christian home, the gospel  can be so ingrained in you and a part of your life with your parents, that it can become difficult to make it your own relationship.

I would really encourage you to read The Way of the Master by Ray Comfort. This is the book that helped me see my true need for Jesus–giving me a desire to live my life for Him. It was seeing my sin in the mirror of the 10 commandments and discovering that God upholds a higher standard than the world’s standards on judgment day that caused me to drop to my knees and ask for forgiveness.

It was then that I realized how good God is by sending His Son, Jesus, to pay for my sin, and from that point on I WANTED to live a life pleasing to God. My desire stays strong each and every day, because of the gratitude I have in my heart for His selfless work on the cross.  I’m so thankful for His sacrifice that I ask Him every day (by praying and reading the Bible) how He can use me, and what I can do for Him. Without prayer and daily reading of God’s word, my desires will wane. It is so important that even if you don’t “feel” like doing it, you still do.

Trust me–when you wet your appetite with God’s word, you’ll find it hard to live without. You can also check out www.thewayofthemaster.com. They have great stuff on there you can watch or listen to for free, and it may help ignite the fire for Jesus once again. 

I know that your walk with Christ can be tough, if friends who don’t share in the same values or beliefs surround you. Do you have any Christian friends? Do you have a small church group Bible study you go to? Having a buddy who is walking with the Lord can help you stay on track. You can keep each other accountable for your actions. Remember that God knows your heart and your troubles. Pray to Him in all honesty and tell him what you’re feeling. Ask Him to help you seek Him and get to know Him better. Ask Him to give you the tools and friends to do that. He will. You just have to be willing to listen for His direction–accept it and work on it.

Visit Candid Candace for more Qs & As

CWO monthly columnist, Candace Cameron Bure, is on the cover of US Weekly discussing her weight loss success! Look for it in stores now.

Candace, who grew up in the stick-thin environment of Hollywood told US Weekly that her parents, “shielded me from that kind of pressure [weight loss]. It was important that I knew my value as a person and never struggled with my image on the outside.” Being 132 pounds at her heaviest, weight was never as much of a focus to Candace as feeling good about herself–both inside and out. Her focus these days is centered around family and faith, and at 110 pounds, Candace is content being the size that she is. 

Candace shares her weight loss story with readers, telling them how she lost 22 pounds and how you can lose weight too.  Candace has shared many weight loss tips with CWO readers in her monthly column Candid Candace. If you missed them–don’t worry–you can always find them here at CWO in “Candid Candace: The Q’s and A’s of Growing with God.” 

Read some of Candace’s weight loss articles:

“Giving Your Food Issues to God”

“The Secret to Staying Slim and Healthy”

Congratulations on the weight loss, Candace. You look great!

Watch a behind the scenes video of Candace at the US Weekly photo shoot:
http://www.usmagazine.com/news/candace-cameron-video 

Visit Candace at her website: CandaceCameronBure.net

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid on the topic of submission when a reader asks, “I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be a godly wife?” 

I have noticed that a subject you speak on most often is that of being a godly wife.  I would love to see you in person, but until you come to Kalamazoo, MI I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to be a godly wife?  I was SO encouraged to hear that your husband was not saved when you were first married. My husband is saved, but his relationship with Christ has weakened recently. His father (who was his best friend) recently passed away and he has been growing distant from me, but especially from God. 

I believe this is the time he needs to rely on God most and am hoping you could give me some ideas/tips for how I can encourage him to reconnect with our Heavenly Father.

Thank you for your message and any help you can give!

_______________________

The understanding that marriage is an equal partnership where husband and wife are equally important, but aren’t designed to share the same role, is  the foundation to being a godly wife, and encouraging our husbands in faith.

The Bible says, “For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman: but the woman for the man” (1Corinthians 11:8-9).

Today’s society would have us believe there should be no differences between a man and a woman. Society has it wrong.   We were created equally, but very differently, and so we have differing responsibilities in our marriage—ours being a HELPMEET. God created Adam, saying, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”. (Gen. 2:18)

By respecting my husband, and submitting to him as the authority figure in our family–as he should be–my actions have helped to win him over without a word. First Peter 3:1 says, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.”

As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, submission is not a foul word. I don’t become a slave to my husband’s every demand—instead I take joy in serving him, and ultimately pleasing God. Val doesn’t take advantage of me, but rather gains respect for me, and chooses to love and honor me as I do him. This chain of command not only nurtures respect one to another, it also pleases the Lord, to whom we are ultimately accountable.

I encourage you to read Titus chapter 2, which teaches us a reverent way of life, and to also pick up a copy of Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debbie Pearl. You can purchase it on their website at www.nogreaterjoy.org or check your local Christian bookstore. This book is THE BEST in becoming a godly wife!  You may hate it, but you’ll thank me for recommending it.  

Being there for your husband (once you’ve read and applied the book) will be the best thing you can do for him to reconnect with God.

Read more articles like this in Candace’s monthly column: 
“Candid Candace – The Qs & As on Growing with God”

Many of us will remember Candace Cameron Bure from ABC’s Full House, where we affectionately knew her as “DJ Tanner.” Today Candace is a role model to young women everywhere, with a testimony of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God.

This month, Candace gets candid on the topic of spanking when a reader asks, “Why is it that Christian parents are taught to hurt their children when it’s clearly not what Jesus taught?”
 

Hi Candace, I have a question for you. What “discipline” technique do you employ or recommend? I too am a Christian. However, I am quite concerned that many people who want to follow Jesus’ teachings are misled. Jesus went against many of the practices that are laid out in the Old Testament. He was a pacifist. Why is it then that Christian parents are taught to hurt their children when it’s clearly not what Jesus taught?

The reason that I ask is because on Kirk’s site he promotes the book and videos of Shepherding a Child’s Heart, and your forum also talks about the book.

The book demands that the child be hit each time they do something that the parents object to, even when a baby cries about having their diaper changed!

Page 154 “Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as laid out above. You have no way of knowing how much a child a year old or less can understand of what you say, but we do know that understanding comes long before the ability to articulate does….When our oldest child was approximately 8 months old….Obviously he was old enough to be disciplined.”

“Spanking” is a cutesy word for hitting. If an employer spanks his employee he would be arrested.

I respect you and wanted your insight–I couldn’t ask Kirk about it because he doesn’t have this type of forum.
 

First I would suggest that parents read Shepherding a Child’s Heart for themselves and come to their own conclusion. You pulled an excerpt that sounds misleading. When read in the context of the whole chapter—and the entire book—you would see that there is absolutely, without question, NO abuse. That excerpt was simply talking about our defiant nature—even as young as a baby. It DIDN’T go on to say they should be spanked for not wanting their diaper changed.

A spanking is NEVER done in anger or in rage. It is a loving correction done with explanation and prayer to simply teach a child right from wrong. And please understand that a spanking is not the first resort. When a child is asked to do something and defiantly refuses, it is then that they would be lovingly corrected. As small children, often a second asking is good—something like, “Sara, Mommy asked you to put your toy in the basket.” If not responded to again, then correction would be appropriate.

Do you ever have to teach your child to say, “NO! That’s MINE! Gimme!”? Of course not. That is the sin nature we are all born with—a selfish, defiant attitude. We have to teach our children to share, to be kind, and unselfish. The Bible fully supports “the rod of correction,” but again, never in abuse, anger or for a parent’s selfish reasons to control his children.

Jesus did not come against the teachings of the Old Testament, but He fulfilled the “Law,” and the practices that the law entailed. We must keep in mind that Jesus is the same God “Yesterday, today and forever.”

I discipline my children by spanking when the situation calls for it. Once a toddler is walking around and getting into things, a slap on the hand is one way they respond to correction. It shouldn’t hurt as much as be a surprise, and discomfort to them. This prepares them that the word NO comes with a consequence. Once my children were around 18 months old, and we knew that they could understand our instruction, they were spanked on the bottom if they disobeyed. As my children grow older, we find more creative ways to discipline, allowing the punishment to fit the crime. These types of disciplines are effective and biblical when done in love. It is the responsibility of all parents to teach and train their children

I sincerely hope you would read Shepherding a Child’s Heart in its entirety. The title is so appropriate, because it is a WONDERFUL book that in no way teaches us to abuse our children. It’s all about getting to the heart of the matter and guiding them to understanding Godly submission.

Of the 19 chapters in this book, only one is dedicated to “the rod” even explaining common objections.

I hope this has shed some light on my view.

P.S. I also read an interesting article that Dr. James Dobson wrote for Focus on the Family titled, ”To Spank or Not to Spank.” In it He writes:

“Contrary to what you have read in popular literature, this firm but loving approach to child rearing will not harm a toddler or make him violent. To the contrary, it is most likely to produce a healthy, confident child.”

Hi Candace, I grew up watching you on television. I am now 33 years old and I recently became a mother to a beautiful little girl named Mikayla. She proved to me that God doesn’t let you know how wonderful and amazing motherhood is until you have a child. Mikayla is the single greatest joy in our lives and we cherish her every day.

Anyway, on to my question…

I have been on your website and viewed your beautiful pictures and can’t help but think “how does she look so good, and stay in such great shape after having three kids?!” I was quite thin pre-baby, but I haven’t managed to get my body back, in the 8 months since Mikayla was born.

Any advice on how you got into shape after your babies? I am breastfeeding (I’m not sure if you did as well), therefore I can’t go on any strict diets, but I’d love to hear what your diet and exercise regimen were like post baby.

Thanks, Candace

_________________________

Note: CWO advises that you check with your doctor before starting any diet or exercise plan, to ensure that it’s a safe route for you.

Congratulations on your daughter! 8 months and breast-feeding, huh? Surely you can shed a few pounds. My sister is breast-feeding and her son is 4 months. She called me this morning to tell me she dropped her last 3 pounds.

No, you can’t go on any strict diets, but you can certainly eat healthier and exercise more. Walks with Mikayla in the stroller are perfect. Start doing it 5 days a week! I also loved doing exercise DVD’s when the kids were taking naps (or before they woke up).

Eat fresh foods–meaning no processed foods with ingredients listing words that you can’t pronounce! If it grows in the ground or on a tree and God made it without man fixing it up–eat it!! Eat lots of fresh veggies, fruits and lean proteins like chicken, turkey and fish. I keep my portions small and try not to stuff myself. Half way through, I check myself, “Am I satisfied–not full, but satisfied?” If so, I keep the rest for later.

It all comes down to your intake of calories. It’s no big secret. I don’t have any miracles. I eat healthy and exercise. You can do it too! If you’re not sure how to “eat healthy,” there are lots of good books or programs that can help you learn like “The South Beach Diet” or “Weight Watchers.” Because you’re breast-feeding, you can keep up your calories, but make sure they’re good calories and not from fried foods and soda pop.

Here are my tips in a nutshell:

Stop eating when you’re satisfied
Don’t eat fried food or fast food
Don’t drink soda pop or sugar drinks
Eats lots of fresh veggies, fruit and lean proteins
Keep desserts to a few bites
Snack on nuts (7-10)
Drink lots of water
Get some exercise!

Hope this helps jump-start your weight loss. And one more thing–read Darlene Schacht’s column “Live Well!” It will motivate you to stay on the right track!

I was wondering if you could enlighten me about how you and your family deal with Halloween. I feel that as a Christian, I should not have anything to do with it!

I have 2 girls and each year it is a struggle to stand up for our beliefs as Christians with respect to this issue. I have tried various ways of dealing with it in the past. When the girls were really young and didn’t know that they were
missing anything, my husband and I just stayed home, turned out the lights, pretended to not be home, and hid out in the basement watching TV or reading. Then, when they got older, I allowed them to dress up in “good” costumes, like fairies or princesses, but they had to stay home and we would purchase some candy for them to enjoy.

I decided that when I closed my door and pretended to not be home, I was missing opportunities to reach out to those who don’t know Christ as their personal savior. I got pumpkins and carved neat messages in them trying to reach the lost. One year I got 5 pumpkins and on each pumpkin, I carved out a word spelling out the message “Let Jesus Fill The Hollow,” once they were all lined up. Another year, I got 4 pumpkins and carved out the message “God’s Treat is Jesus.” I also ordered gospel tracts and handed them to the kids who came to our door, along with candy. Last year, reluctantly, I took my girls door to door to get candy because I conformed to pressure from my neighbor that I was making too big a deal out of things…after all, she said, the kids are just out to have fun! I failed terribly!

I still feel that we shouldn’t participate and I am struggling with a way to get through this time of the year without letting my girls down. They are going to have to learn that standing up for Jesus isn’t always easy but that they have to remain committed to Him and steadfast regardless of the criticism they receive from peers.

Do you have any suggestions of ways to do something special and fun with your family without compromising your beliefs? What do you do with your children at this time of year? I would really appreciate any feedback you could provide.

Thank you and God bless you and your family!

_________________________

I enjoyed reading your letter a lot, and have SO been there regarding Halloween. It’s such an awkward struggle, isn’t it? By the time my children turned 3, I simply did not know how to respond to Halloween and what to do with them. I grew up dressing up and trick or treating. I loved it as a child and had a blast. Most of the time, my parents had a Halloween party at our house but it was more about dancing, balloons and fun costumes than anything else. I have great memories as a child of this pagan holiday.

As a believer, I asked so many friends what their views were, hoping I’d find the right answer. I asked seasoned, strong Christians with young children and grown children. I also talked to my church about it. What I found out was that everyone has a different opinion of what to do. Our church doesn’t acknowledge Halloween, but has a kid’s outreach event that night. Some friend’s churches have a costume party along with “trunk or treating”—going car to car in the parking lot of the church for candy in “good costumes.” What surprised me most was that most of my grounded Christian friends took their kids trick or treating in their neighborhood. And then there’s my mom who’s now sold out on NOT celebrating or participating in Halloween period. Ahhhhhhh!!!! What do we do?

After doing just about everything you mentioned, from handing out tracks, to turning off the lights, and going to “non” Halloween events on that night, my husband and I decided that what our family enjoys most is dressing up in costumes and going trick or treating. Trust me, we prayed a lot about it! I’ve read all about the origins of Halloween and man, it is a bummer. But am I ever thankful for the commercialism of America. It’s the only holiday in which I’m thankful it adopted a superficial and fun meaning. Please don’t think we “celebrate” the holiday—we don’t, but I don’t think that Halloween can corrupt my children anymore than Christmas can Christianize others who celebrate it for their own reason.

We’ve talked to our children about the holiday and even read them books about it from a Christian point of view. We just use it as an excuse to have fun creating costumes, putting on make-up and playing fun family games that involve pumpkins. We always walk with several neighbors and their children up and down a few streets, and each of our friends enjoy seeing the kids dressed up. (We usually skip the really tricked-out scary houses.) And once we’re home, they sort through the candy, picking their favorites, and getting that once-a-year sugar feast.

I know some Christians will not agree with what we do, and yet we are at peace in allowing the kids to dress up and hunt for candy. I don’t know that there is a wrong or right answer to this one. I think every family needs to pray about it and seek God’s wisdom for themselves. In no way am I suggesting you should trick or treat. If you’re uncomfortable (because God is urging you not to—not the pressure of other Christians) then you should absolutely follow through with those convictions.

You’re correct, in that standing up for Jesus is not always easy. Sometimes, we don’t get to do what everyone else is doing. If you want to show your daughters your convictions about Halloween, then just don’t celebrate it. Your neighbor may think you’re being “mean” to your daughters, but she’s not the one answering to God for them. Don’t let her pressure get in the way.

I do know some families who don’t participate in it and don’t make a big deal about it either. They’ve told their kids they don’t want any part in it and that’s it. That’s all. There are no excuses, no negotiating and no alternate ideas. And all those kids are OK. They weren’t scarred for life. It may be disappointing to them at first, but they’ll just come to learn it’s one of those family rules.

As Christians, I think we should express our views and concerns with other believers, but leave the decision up to each family, not adding shame or guilt in the choice they make.

We know this tradition originated as the day of the dead, but is that what we’re rejoicing in? Should we let God search our hearts on this one?

Pray about it and follow YOUR spirit on this one, even if it’s tough on your daughters. Halloween is an odd struggle—I think most of us agree on that!