By Bonnie Fair
She comes every Sunday morning with her grown daughter’s arm looped through hers as they walk to their seats in front of me.
Every Sunday morning it reminds me of love that’s true, unselfish, unconditional, immovable. The kind of love that melts your heart and moves your soul.
I watch as the mother holds her daughter’s hand.
She brushes her hair with her fingers, while her daughter waves a pair of green rubber gloves close to her face. She waves those gloves and pauses and waves them again close to her side.
Sometimes I can hear her softly singing a tune as her mother spoon feeds her during the service.
The mom yawns. Her hair gray. Her heart big.
Most of us think of our children taking care of us in the years ahead, but as she pats her daughters hand I can’t help but be amazed, every Sunday morning.
Love in the midst of hardships reveals the heart’s pure nature.
She’s a testimony to the true love between a mother and her child and a child to her mother.
They hold hands and it holds my heart in awe.
It makes you examine your love and life and how hard it may seem sometimes to love when it is easy, much less to love when it’s hard, or when life throws you an unexpected curve.
Sometimes love breaks hearts ~ from a spouse, a relative, a friend, from anyone. It almost always happens even though we try so hard not to let it; hearts will break.
In the moments we break and are broken it feels like life will never be pieced back together again to be as it was in the beginning.
More and more heartbreaking moments come and we feel torn and tattered again and again and again because we ache and are let down. Feelings are abandoned, forgotten, dreams vanish, and distance prevails and space masses years.
In those moments tears fall free because expectations are set so high in a person, just a person, who is only human. A sinful human being who makes mistakes and falls and doesn’t speak the way we want them to or show forgiveness or love the way we would.
Yes, ten years ago love, true, met me. I wanted someone as we all do whose heart would beat with mine and he was a beacon and I was drawn , head over heels, and nothing could stop it then or now.
I had found my soul mate and we knew no matter what we were dealt we would learn to always have love.
He was my “yes.”
The one I couldn’t live and breath without.
The one I couldn’t stand to be away from for even a moment.
The one who was the source of my heart’s love and life and joy.
Ten years comes and goes and times change and so may people. Words are spoken that should have been kept silent, choices change, and actions disappoint yet never too far.
Doors are slammed and pillows become tear stained and we pick up the pieces; yet little by little a heart’s love slowly becomes chiseled away and the will to go on together tests faith.
It was another Sunday morning early; he stood behind the pulpit and said the words that I won’t forget, that jolted the mind, “Your husband is not your soul mate.”
Then it made perfect sense.
How could I expect my husband to be my soul mate? To be the one who kept my soul alive? That together our souls would be perfectly mashed as one in an unwavering love and respect and devotion that never faltered or was let down?
If I look to my husband to fulfill me as a soul mate, he will fail and I will feel failed by him.
Souls cannot crumble, hearts cannot be truly broken if we are soul joined with the one who is the Father. Who loves us relentlessly, ceaselessly, and “oh how He loves us so.”
We will never be loved the way we want to be loved except from the One who made us.
No one else can fill our heart’s desire except God.
We will never be disappointed if our heart’s hope is found in Him and in our companionship with Him.
Disappointment will always arise with our husbands or potential spouses because they cannot carry the life and breath of our soul, only can a God who made love.
See our husbands as a man who draws our souls closer together to God, but who may and will make mistakes as a human just as we do.
See it through those lenses and the soul is rested in a love that is eternal.
No matter how much we love, in the end, our spouses will not be our spouses and we will be heart joined with our true Father whose love is boundless and limitless.
God is our true soul mate and our marriage is a reflection, a testament, of the Father’s love in our lives.
And Love is not the absence of certain behaviors it is the ambiance of a servant’s heart.
And I see it in the mother early Sunday mornings with her daughter, and in the man with the tattooed arms as he gently reaches for his wife’s hand, in the older gentleman who kneels in front of the aisle with his hands on the ground, bowing in adoration.
I see it in the mom cradling her crying child, in the man who puts his arm around his wife’s shoulder, in the wife who pushes her husband’s wheelchair.
Love ~ love tested and tried and found true before the One who loves us so.
I see it in the man who kindly looks his wife in the eyes and says, “You are beautiful. You are kind.” The wife smiles and shakes her head in disbelief and doubt and love…
love…”does not keep a record of wrongs, love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
1 Corinthians 13:5-8
About the author:
I am a carpenter’s wife and homeschooling mom to two boys. When free time finds me I peck out a few lines about life, Spirit Fruit,and closeness with God. I search to find a rejoice in every minute by being in His presence. Reaching far to fill my imperfections with His holiness, I realize the depth of my need for someone outside this world, someone who gives grace and mercy, and who will never let this soul down. By writing about Him and His love, I hope to be able draw women closer to God’s heart where true peace, acceptance, and life lives. The days here are always loud, hectic, and messy, but its a beautiful mess and there’s peaceful praise in it. Your welcome to it here ~
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Article and picture by Bonnie Fair
Copyright 2015, all rights reserved
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