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Friday, August 24, 2007
It is impossible to keep up our home, yard and such and her big place with about 8 acres of yard and pasture and such. She is legally blind and unable to drive. She lives in the country and has to seek rides to church, drs, really for everything. She doesnt want to get out of bed anymore. Dad really babied her when we were growing up and it makes it hard on everyone now because we cant do enough. My husband with melanoma dx.(goes to MDAnderson every 6 months for check ups) (recently with walking pneumonia) spent a whole day mowing her yard and cleaning her pasture and 3 days later she was emailing people telling them no one would mow her yard and the place was just all growing up. She continually tells me when God calls her home I will regret not spending more time with her and doing more and caring more for her. I am a nurse, working full time with 3 kids. My husband is a nurse manager at a local hospital also. She told me that when she needed me most that I went back to work full time. I changed jobs and this job offered straight day shift and I'm able to get home when kids get out of school, and besides we needed the money and my kids were all in school and older. I don't know what to do. The pity partys and depression are causing so much stress in my family. The grandchildren don't even want her to visit. We took her on vacation with us, paid all expenses and she had one of her crying fits and told my 11-yr-old child that no one loved her and she wished she were dead. That greatly upset my child. It ruined our vacation which we had not had a family vacation in over 4 yrs. Then one month later she got to go out of state for another vacation. She spends so much time dwelling on all negatives and focuses so on herself that she can't remember the kids birthdays or call them. She is jealous that the kids seem to like the other grandparents better. I don't know what to do. Dr's have tried 6 different antidepressants and she refuses to take them. She says it isnt all depression, that she knows that she is tired and doesnt feel like doing anything. She constantly throws guilt trips at me and those pitty parties. She is very manipulative. She has destroyed mine and my brothers relationship with each other. He even left the state and just got a full time job away and she says she cant depend on him anymore. It's all about her. Dad was a deacon in the church. I am married to a deacon, music director, youth teacher at our church. She talks to guys on the pc and really wants to meet the perfect guy and get married. I do mean perfect, flawless. She is very judgemental of others. She says they all think they are too good for her, but her negativeness I think turns them off. I know that depression is a terrible thing. She had me crying myself to sleep last night and appears not to be happy unless every one around her is miserable. What can I do? Please pray for me and my family. Pray that my relationship with my mother will get better. I feel much guilt because she makes me not want to be around her. Teresa
Comments:
Teresa, I'm so sorry for the depression your mother is facing, and the intense frustration it's causing you and your family. I have depression too, and medicines have been WONDERFUL for me. I wish your mom could be persuaded to try something that the doctors recommend. I'll pray for you and your mom and family.
-Grace
Hi Teresa,
I've dealt with a similiar situation and I understand your frustration. No matter how hard we tried we could never find the right Christmas or birthday gift for my grandmother. And no matter how hard her family tried to help her when she wasn't well it didn't seem to really thrill her. My dad is kind of the same way. It seems that their lack of perspective had more of an impact on us than them. The best practice for me has been to accept that I may not be able to totally please my family member and it may not have anything to do with me or how I'm doing things. I prayed and asked God to tell me what to do because the situation was really getting bad. I believe He told me to spend time reading the word of God to my father. Even though he is capable of studying on his own, the time spent would be a peaceful time of sharing and not a time to sit and have a pity party. God's word is alive and able to heal. Oh and make sure to take care of yourself which is also taking care of your family. Just a suggestion:) I'll be praying. Blessings Michelle
dear God, i lift up teresa to you. i pray that you will give her family the strength to deal with this difficulty in their lives. i know that this is exactly what the enemy likes to happen but Lord, don't allow the enemy to take advantage of this situation. Father, i pray for teresa's mother too. i pray that you will comfort her and touch her heart to see the people who cares and loves her. open her eyes to see Your love and goodness in her life all these years. Father, i pray for your healing in this family, not only physically but emotionally as well. i trust You, Lord, to help them. in Jesus' name, amen.
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